So here we go with ch. 26 guys. I would love to know what you think of this chapter. Let me know in a reviewwww. Trust me writing a review takes less time than writing this chapter :)

Remorseful I looked down. I knew Tim meant well, I also knew I needed this. I was a walking mess. Tim's intentions were good, he was just returning the favor. Last year I was strict as well, I didn't accept any discussion. Rehab was a bitch.

'Fine.' I spit out and started to collect the pills in the room. I disgruntledly placed them in his hand.

'All of them Ren.' He sneered.

I sighted and told myself I was doing this for myself. So I grabbed the last two pills that I hid under carpet. Tim gave me an approving nod and walked into the bathroom. With one swift move he dropped all of them in the toilet and flushed it down the drain. I bit my lip as I watched the pills go down the drain.

'Good, that was the first step.' Tim nodded. 'Now go and pack a bag, we're leaving.'

A little bit annoyed I grabbed one of the bags and threw some clothes and toiletries in them. When I was sure I had enough for a couple of days I zipped it and threw it over my shoulder. I didn't feel like doing this at all, I was unwillingly but I knew in the back of my head that it was for the best. But the next few days were going to be hell. I remembered how it was the last time..

We walked downstairs and Tim grabbed his own bags. Bella gave Tim a key which he slid into his pocket.

'Whatever you need. We're just one call away.' Esme said. Tim and Edward exchanged a meaningful glance. Jacob was standing in the hallway with his arms folded and a face like thunder. He gave me a weak smile when I grabbed my jacket.

'If there is anything, anything at all you know that you can give me a call alright?'

I nodded. Jacob and I still had a lot to talk about, but this wasn't the place nor time to do so. Right before my mother got to me I was supposed to have lunch with him to talk about our relationship status. I didn't forget that he imprinted on me, I also didn't forget that it was creeping me out a little. But what he did, bringing Tim here, was really sweet and thoughtful. So I needed to give him credit for that. God, our kiss felt like years ago. So many things happened in the meantime, but I didn't had the energy to even think about it now.

With everyone's eyes on us we walked out of the door.

'Where are we going?' I asked Tim.

'You're family has a cabin in which we are going to stay for a few days. They agreed to lend it to us because I told them we needed some privacy and time.'

'Right.' I answered as I walked after him. We walked for a solid twenty minutes before we arrived at the cabin. It was cute and dreamy and I totally got the honeymoon vibe from it. Tim opened the door and turned on the lights. It wasn't that big, but that made it extra cozy. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room and a kitchen.

'Just like old times.' Tim said. I didn't respond but sat down on the couch and watched as Tim lighted up the fireplace. The red and orange of the flames was mesmerizing but Tim didn't let me get distracted.

'You really scared me Ren, when Jacob contacted me and I heard in what shape you were I just knew you needed me. But you need to talk to me, I know that you aren't a talker but this is really killing you from inside. It's eating you up from the inside Ren.' He grabbed my hand. I softly pinched it.

'It doesn't have to be right now, but someday you will need to talk about it.' He whispered.

I nodded. 'Not now Tim, just not now. Tell me how are you doing in school?' I asked trying desperately to change to subject. He grinned and grabbed one of his bags. He zipped it open and shook it's contents on the table. It were study books and notebooks.

'I got midterms next week.' He said and rolled his eyes.

'Good thing you don't need to sleep.' I smiled back weakly. He chuckled 'I know it's almost cheating.'

'Do you want to eat something?' he asked me as he started to unpack all the bags. There were groceries, mostly fruits and healthy stuff, books and some clothes.

'I could use a drink.' I whispered as I stared at the flames.

'Ren, we are in Rehab for gods sake.' Tim said disapprovingly.

Tim made a spinach smoothie, I wasn't really in the mood for a smoothie but he was so content making it I couldn't say no. I knew Tim missed making such meals, it had been such a big part of his life for so long. So reluctant I drank it when he gave it to me.

When he cleaned up the kitchen he sat on the other side of the couch.

'If you won't talk, I'll start. There is something I need to tell you. Ren you are my best friend and I know this isn't the perfect time but I just can't keep it in.' He said. I turned around so I faced him and pulled my knees up.

'Okay.'

Tim fumbled with his hands before he sighted deep. 'I'm seeing someone.'

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. The news surprised me but I was sincerely happy for him. Tim deserved someone who loved him as much as he loved them.

'That's great. I'm very happy for you.' I whispered and I hated how hollow my voice sounded. Tim was my best friend and I wanted him to know that I was very happy for him, but the tone in which the words came out of my mouth made it sound like I didn't care at all. So I grabbed his hands and pinched it. 'You deserve to be happy.'

He gave me a weak smile but his eyes avoided mine.

'Is there something else?' I asked him. Tim sighted and finally his golden eyes found mine.

'It's a guy.' He whispered really softly.

'Okay.' I responded.

'That's it? Okay?' Tim asked me. 'No Tim since when did you become bisexual. Or Tim what the hell?'

'Tim.' I said and cleared my throat 'I'm a hybrid, half vampire half human. A werewolf imprinted on me, you are a full vampire going to college. Trust me being bisexual isn't the weird thing here.'

He chuckled. 'You're right.'

'If he makes you happy than I'm happy for you. What's his name?'

'Alex.' Tim said and his face lightened up by the thought of him. I grinned as he started to tell me where they met and how they started to develop feelings for each other. I listened as Tim told me everything. When he brought me up to speed and I knew almost everything about his love life we decided to watch a movie. We decided we would do a Harry Potter marathon.

When the night came I noticed for the first time I was going through withdrawal. I got this restless and annoyed feeling. I was getting junk-sick. Tim noticed it as well and decided he would make me some soup. The last time I was feeling nausea the whole time, so soup was a good compromise.

Until he put in down right in front of me. Tim made me some fresh tomato soup, now that the sun went down and the room was just lighted by the fireplace the redness seemed more intense than it actually was. I knew my mind was tricking me, but as I stared at it the substance reminded me of blood. The same blood that had been all over me when I woke up in the warehouse.

'REN!' Tim yelled as he grabbed my shoulder. I snapped out of it and stared at him with pained eyes.

'Jesus, what did they do to you?' He said as he pulled me into his arms. I cried hot tears on his shoulder and he held me until I was done crying and shaking.

'Was it Emilio?' He asked as he wiped one last tear from my cheek.

'Emilio is dead.' I sniffed.

'Good.' Tim said resolute.

We sat in silence for a while. 'Ren..' Tim said.

Annoyed I stood up. 'Don't. Please don't. I don't want to talk about it.' I growled as I took a defensive stance. Tim stood up as well. 'You want to get mad? Good get mad. But you need to talk about it.'

'I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!' I screamed.

'You can't do this alone Ren, I know you. Come on let me in so I can help you.' Tim yelled back.

'NO!'

'So you're drowning the pain with pills. How's that working out for you?' Tim growled back.

'Shut up'

'Reality check Ren. You are destroying yourself this way.'

'Shut up' I screamed as I let my hands run through my hair. 'You don't know what happened. I need to numb the pain.'

'No I don't know, because you won't tell me. You won't tell anyone.'

I chuckled. 'I'm going insane, that's what's happening.'

'I just can't get it out of my head. Every time I close my eyes I can see the massacre. It was just a slaughterhouse Tim. I was forced to watch them, how they ripped open their necks. I can still smell the blood mixed with fear that lingered in the air. In my dreams I still hear their piercing screams in my ears. There were so many. Humans, vampires, all so scared and in such terrible pain. Do you know how it sounds when you light up a vampire. The way they smell when the fire burns their skin? Because I do. I had to watch them burn those bodies, some of them weren't dead yet.'

'Ren..' Tim grabbed me and pulled me in a hug.

'You don't understand Tim, you can never understand because you weren't there.' I sobbed.

'You can't blame yourself Ren.' Tim whispered in my hairs. My eyes wandered over the room and ended at the bowl of tomato soup. My stomach turned and the nausea started. 'I need to throw up.' I whispered as I sprinted to the bathroom.

After that we decided we would call it a night and I went to bed. Exhausted I fell down on the bed and tried to fall asleep as soon as possible. I hoped that tonight I wouldn't be hunted by nightmares. Maybe now that the pills worn off, maybe I would get a good nights rest.

I woke up because something was dripping on my face. I opened my eyes and wiped the liquid of my cheek. I looked up and there he was, he was hanging from the ceiling. His lips were still twisted in a smile, his limps were hanging from the ceiling and there was blood dripping down right onto my face.

Tim hurried to me and dragged me out of bed in one swift move when I screamed. I blinked a few times and he was gone, I watched my hands but there were no traces of blood. It had been a hallucination once again.

'I'm losing my mind Tim.' I whispered. 'I'm going mad. And I'm so scared.'

He sat down beside me 'Sometimes it's good to be scared Ren, that means you haven't given up. That there is still something to fight for.'

'Tim, do you think I'm a bad person?'

'I don't think you are a bad person Ren.' He said as he caressed my cheek.

'But I did something bad. Something really bad.'

'That doesn't makes you a bad person Ren. It's not that simple. You know what makes a good person good? When they do something bad they own up to it. They try to learn something from it and they move on. You are at a crossroads now. You can live like this and pretend you are still the same, or you can accept that you need some help fixing your life. And that's not an easy thing, it's hard and it's painful but it's the right thing to do.'

I was at loss for words, so I kept silent as we sat there. I leaned against Tim, pressed my head against his cold chest. The only sound in the room was the crackling sound of the fireplace in the background. I noticed my hands were shaking badly and my mouth was dry.

'Do you want some water?' Tim asked me and already stood up to get me some. I gulped down the cold water and went with Tim to the living room. While I was asleep he was learning for his midterms. Books and notebooks were scattered all over the table.

'So what's the deal with you and Jacob?' Tim said as he closed his books and sat down next to me on the couch. He was trying to get my mind of the nightmares by talking about something light.

'He imprinted om me.' I said and spun the glass between my fingers. 'And I don't know how I feel about that.'

'You said that, but what does it mean; imprinting?' Tim took the glass from my hand. He always got annoyed when I fumbled with things. He put it down on the table and waited expectantly for me to answer.

'Well, uhm.' I said and I cleared my throat. 'It's kind of this soulmate thing, or at least from his side. When a werewolf imprints they know he or she is the love of their life.' I didn't know why but my face flushed and I awkwardly stared at the ground.

'Whoa that's..'

'Intense?' I finished his sentence. Tim laughed and shook his head. 'That's not what I wanted to say, I wanted to say beautiful. I think it's a beautiful thing. It's like a soulmate cheat.'

'Yeah, whatever.' I sighted.

'So what I understand is you don't feel the same? You don't have feelings for him?' Tim's eyes drilled in mine. I rolled my eyes 'I don't know, I mean I just met the guy. Sure he is attractive and all..'

Tim chuckled and I gave him a questioning look which he dismissed. 'He cares about you a lot, I can tell.'

'Oh I'm going to be sick' I groaned.

'Don't be so negative Ren.' Tim scolded me.

'No I'm really going to be sick.' I mumbled as I hurried to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. U wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet. Cold sweat pricked in my neck and I sat down on the hard, but thankfully cold ground. After I was sure that I didn't need to throw up again I stumbled to the sink and brushed my teeth. When I looked at myself in the mirror a grey face with hollow eyes stared back at me. I walked back to the couch and Tim gave me an encouraging smile.

'You're doing great Ren.'

'Bullshit. I'm not doing great Tim.' I bit my lip. 'Look at me, I'm a failure at six years old. How is that doing great?'

'Don't do that Ren. Don't make it harder on yourself than it already is.'

I brushed it off and fell down on the couch. I knew what to expect, it wasn't my first time around. I knew from the start that I would get sick, that I needed to throw up and soon the headaches would start. Oh and the shaking wouldn't stop for a while. In the last few weeks I stuffed myself with pills pretty good, so it was to be expected.

'So Jacob…' Tim continued merciless. I groaned and cupped my face with my hands. He wasn't going to let it slide. But guess that's what best friends are for..

'I don't know Tim, it's complicated.'

'But how do you feel? Come on Ren you can be honest with me.'

'I don't know. Like I said, I am attracted to him. He is very kind and sweet. And I know he would do anything for me. But I don't know, we kissed a couple of times but it all happened so fast you know. I went from a kiss to his imprint and that actually scares me.'

'So is he a good kisser?' Tim teased me. I grinned and told him about the kiss in the AirBnB that first night, I also told him about my adventure with Elouise and what happened afterwards.

When I was done Tim said 'Ren, he is really in love with you. He went to great lengths to contact me, just so you would have someone to talk to. He's a great guy, I think you're scared to let him in. I think you are scared that there are people who care about you so much that they would give their life for you. I think that frightens you because you've never known any of that.'

There was a telling silence. 'Guess mom wasn't the best role model huh?' I joked. Tim gave me a sad smile and shook his head. 'She wasn't no. Did you see her when you were away?' His voice turned softer, almost to a whisper when he asked that.

I nodded. 'Yeah I did.' I couldn't stop shaking when the memories came back again. Uncalled and unwanted they washed over me, capturing me in the moment all over again. I sobbed against Tim's chest for the rest of the night until I fell asleep. He stayed with me as I slept on the couch. Fortunately I didn't have any nightmares. But when I woke up my body felt like it was put through the ringer.

Day two and three were worse than day one. My body was shaky and I was tormented by hot flashes all over my body. I couldn't bring myself to eat something because I was feeling so nauseous. My head felt it was going to burst and all I wanted to do was cry. Tim and I watched the rest of the Harry Potter movies and I laid on the couch with a blanket and a pillow feeling miserable for myself. Tim forced me to eat something, so I ate some cornflakes and drank some water. Before I went to sleep I took a shower which did me some good. I rolled up in a ball while Tim was studying and fell asleep on the couch.

Day four was okay. Tim promised to stay a midweek with me. He had midterms next week and I didn't want him to skip those, so we had two more days together. I didn't want those two days to go to waste so I forced myself up when Tim said we were going for a walk.

'Some fresh air will do you good.' He said and still a little queasy I followed him into the woods. Tim had quite the pace just like Jasper and we hiked for a little 30 minutes before I had the feeling I would pass out.

'I need to stop for a while.' I whispered as I sat down on a fallen tree.

'How the craving?' Tim asked me as he sat down.

'I'm okay.' I mumbled as I tried to catch my breath.

'You don't feel like stuffing yourself full of pills anymore?' He said with a teasing smile.

I let out a chuckle 'Nah, I need something stronger. The pills don't work anymore.'

We both grinned, trying to keep it airy.

'Mom's dead Tim.' I said out of the blue. I could tell it surprised him, but like everyone said before. I wasn't the person to bottle up my feelings. I indeed needed to talk about it with someone.

'She is?'

'She got killed right before my eyes. I saw how they carried her lifeless body to the stake and burned her to ashes.' My eyes were fixated on the ground before us but my memories were taking me back to Seattle.

'I am so sorry Renesmee, you never should have witnessed that.' Tim said and wrapped an arm around me.

'They wanted to set me up you know, they knew that with that amount of drugs that produced and sold on the streets the police sooner or later would've noticed.' My face turned grim.

'So they set me up, they informed the DEA with an anonymous tip and tricked me into making the drop. Their hate for the Cullens was so strong that they were willing to let me rot in jail for the rest of my life. Unreachable for the Cullens, but still so close. It was the perfect revenge.' My voice was cold, stone cold but the words just kept coming and coming. I needed to throw it all out.

'She said to me, that after I made the drop I would see the Cullens again. That I wouldn't had to stay there in Seattle. She didn't lie, but she jus had an other meaning to her words. She knew that the Cullens would try anything to get me out.' I pinched my eyes as I bit on my lip.

'She knew that eventually if I was long enough in jail I would snap and feed on another inmate.'

'It's was the perfect plan.' Tim whispered 'They would have their scape goat for the drug business. The Cullens would lose you to the system.'

He continued 'Eventually you would snap and feed on someone risking that the vampiresecret would come out. The Cullens would be dealt with by the Volturi because their coven broke the number one rule.'

I nodded. 'Win-Win.'

'But what happened?'

'The Volturi interfered. The coven my mother built was getting to big. With the money they earned and the amount of followers she had she was too much of a threat. I think they thought they were going to overthrow them. I guess they just needed a reason. I think they actually enjoy those massacres you know. It gives them a chance to get out of their cellar for a while.' I swallowed. There was a lump in my throat that just wouldn't go away.

'They killed every one of my parents employers. They tortured them.' I closed my eyes as the memories of the screaming came back to me. 'They wanted, no needed something to hold against them. Some proof that they would try to overthrow them. Or something that could be considered a threat so they could end all of them.'

'Eventually my mother gave in. She admitted to what I just told you. And for that she was sentenced to death. The punishment for treason is..'

'Drawn and quartered.' Tim finished my sentence.

I nodded again. I felt empty inside after spilling all this.

'Yes, drawn and quartered.'

Now that I started I could barely stop. 'They wanted to get rid of me as well. Not only did I know too much, also I was a hybrid, which in the eyes of the Volturi is disgusting.'

'What stopped them?'

'My last name.' I chuckled. 'How ironic huh? I begged them to let me go. I told them my grandfather was once a very close friend to the Volturi. That peaked their interest and I was able to confirm my story with my gift. At first they didn't knew what to do with me, but they didn't want to upset the Cullens by killing me off. So to make sure I wasn't a risk they extracted my fangs and pumped me full of drugs so that if I tried to tell anymore, or if I would attack anyone, people would think I was crazy and they would lock me away. They left me there for the DEA to find.'

I was exhausted by telling him all this. But there was still this other thing that kept nagging. But I couldn't tell him the entire truth. I knew that now I've told him what happened he would back up a little. But this wouldn't stop the nightmares, it wouldn't stop the nagging feeling inside. But I couldn't tell him, or the Cullens, or Jacob for that matter. That dark secret was just for me to know.

I didn't want them to know that I was a monster.

Okay, so let me know what you think by typing your comment and pressing the review button! Next chapter will be up next week. In the next ch. we will have some more Jacob/Renesmee time. Okay bye now guys.