Happy weekend and update day!
After last week's exciting events we return to Hogwarts and hormones. HAHAH ooh, Penny. Enjoy!
"Ooh, Penny!" Hermione gasped when Penny finished explaining to her, Ron and Harry what had transpired on her visit to Nurmengard.
She'd re-told this story so many times and to so many different officials that she was just reciting at this point. And like with all those who asked before them, Penny kept the details of Grindelwald's exchange to herself. How was she supposed to explain to anyone the lunatic believed in eternal beings that apparently had an interest in Penny? Or that Grindelwald now resided within the confines of her head?
If she'd let that slip to anyone in Nurmengard, she knew they'd have locked her up right beside him. But that didn't make it feel any better lying to Niklas, who'd done more than anyone to ensure Penny was allowed to return to Hogwarts in time for term.
Penny hadn't even found the courage to tell Lupin, though they had plenty of time on the journey back. The admission just felt like one more thing that was 'wrong' with her. One more thing for him to worry about. So despite feeling like she should, Penny couldn't confide the truth in him, couldn't endure the prospect of seeing that worried look on his face.
And yet, with Snape, those words flowed with ease without a conscious thought. She understood why, after saying it, why it was so much different with him. The relief was instantaneous, but more poignant was how the way he looked at her didn't change, not so much of a flicker of that paternal guilt that Lupin was so ridden with.
But these three, though she loved and trusted her brother, made her wary of sharing that information. She didn't want them to look at her differently, to distrust her. The questions she knew they'd ask, they'd get too close to the other truths she wasn't ready to face just yet.
So she altered the story and kept the full extent of her nightmare to herself, telling herself one day she'd explain herself.
"But why would he give his power to you? You're not even capable of controlling your own. What a waste," Ron said in an offhand manner that thoroughly irritated Penny.
Looking over at the concerned green eyes of her brother made standing by her omission even harder. She didn't like lying to him, and he seemed to be reverting to suspecting the worst. But she double downed, she could not distract Harry from whatever he and Dumbledore were doing about horcruxes. No, Penny would not add more worries to Harry's already extensive list. She would figure out her own problems herself.
"Because the opinion of a boy who can't even change the color of his own eye-brow is an accurate representation of Penny's power and potential," Hermione said coolly, making both Ron and Penny blush. Penny could kiss her for coming to her defense, but thought better of it.
"Yeah but, he can't have given it to her without expecting something in return," mused Harry, his forehead wrinkling around that lightning-bolt scar of his. "What if he wants to use Penny to break out at some point."
"It's possible and I considered the same thing at first. His powers are nullified in Nurmengard, so giving them to Penny seemed like an obvious trade, were she inclined to repay the favor. It's a gamble though, isn't it? Expecting her to put herself at risk for him. He could be desperate of course, but it doesn't seem plausible considering he was known for his cunning. That white streak of hair though. . ." Hermione said, glancing nervously at Penny before going on. "It makes me think he just wanted a connection to her, or rather, to the outside world."
"And how do you reckon that? Is she supposed to write to him? Can't imagine she's inclined to now he's ruined her hair," Ron practically snorted, earning him an annoyed look from Hermione. "Oh Ronald, do you ever read anything Professor McGonagall assigns us?"
"Of course not, why would I waste the time when I have you?"
"Because," Hermione said, tone a bit clipped, "You'd know that despite this being uncharted territory, all magic carries the imprint of the one who performs it."
"A what?" Ron said, squinting at Hermione as though if he just looked a little harder she might make sense.
"It's like a signature, a piece of ourselves imbued into all that we do. Naturally, with Penny and Grindelwald, that imprint is tied much more closely to their identity given the nature of expression. Meaning," she pressed a little more loudly because Ron looked on the verge of interrupting, "if he gave Penny his magic it's safe to assume he also gave her a part of himself. Though how it'll manifest is all guesswork at this point."
"So what, she's not Penny anymore?" Harry said, looking much too alarmed for Penny's liking, solidifying her choice not to confirm what Hermione was saying.
"Should we call you Pendelwald now?" Ron grinned.
"Ron! You will do no such thing," Hermione fumed. "And of course not," she said, turning to snap at Harry. "Are you not Harry anymore because he," —she shot a glance at Penny—" tried to possess you? While that's ludacris, we shouldn't assume he gained nothing. Maybe he's listening to us right now, who knows."
They all looked warily at Penny, as though she had suddenly transformed into an American spy.
How clever this pretty Granger girl is. I see why you like her, though I must confess I feel the professor is the superior choice. While I'm sure she's good for a bit of fun, a man like him will make your toes curl.
Penny nearly choked at the intrusive thought of that voice she'd come to hate. She'd all but lost her patience with his little commentary.
"Shut up!" Penny practically shouted, jumping to her feet just as she realized she'd said it outloud and not in her head as she intended.
Grindelwald gave a low chuckle.
I speak from experience. I promise you won't be disappointed.
"I'm sorry, Penny. I wasn't trying to suggest—" Hermione began, looking upset, returning Penny to the actual conversation.
"No. Don't worry about it. It's just been a long week of people speculating about me. I just-I don't want to talk about it anymore right now," Penny said, a little too shortly to be apologetic, but she found it difficult to keep her attention on the conversation before her and fortify her mind against Grindelwald.
Without waiting for a response, Penny made for the portrait hole not knowing where she intended to go, so she just let her feet move, knowing her brother was following her, but she dared not slow until she shut that voice up.
When all was silent she plopped herself down on a large windowsill that overlooked the Hogwarts grounds beneath. The details on the trees were striking. Penny could see the curve of every leaf, every speck of dirt. She hated those details, they made the world feel harsher somehow. It wasn't her Hogwarts anymore. All the softness she'd loved about it had been stripped away from her and replaced with the ugliness that Grindelwald observed the world through.
Harry occupied the space beside her, turning to follow her gaze.
"I'm an idiot. Of course you're you. My mouth has this tendency to move before my brain can catch up. I'm sorry."
"Normally, I couldn't agree more. But this time it's me who was the idiot, Harry. I regret it. You don't know how much I regret not listening to you," she said quietly. "Maybe I am still me, but I don't know who that is anymore. All I know is I wish I could take it back. I would do anything to take it back."
His hand bridged the distance between them and squeezed hers.
"I should have tried harder to stop you—"
"Don't do that, Harry. It was my choice," Penny said, turning away from the window to find those features that were so much like James', full of regret.
"A choice you should have never felt like you had to make alone. You've always been so good about being there for me, no matter how much danger it puts you in."
"I hardly count facing off against Dudley and his gang in Elementary school danger, " Penny said with an eye roll. She didn't like it when her kind brother, who was always caring for other people, felt guilty on her account. He was too good, too pure to carry such things.
"Then what do you call facing Quirrel? You came after me, got through all the traps and tackled him without a second thought."
"To be fair, I didn't know what was hiding under the turban at the time. But the rest wasn't me, you'd already put Fluffy to sleep and the chess match hadn't reset."
"In second year, you broke into Dumbledore's office to send Fawkes after me," Harry went on, looking determined to make his point despite her objections.
"Technically, the door opened on its own, and who's to say the bird wasn't already intending to show up?" Penny argued, making Harry's frown deepen.
"I'd been bitten by the basilisk, if Fawkes hadn't healed me I'd be dead," he said, sounding thoroughly unimpressed by her efforts to argue.
"Maybe," Penny said, sounding thoroughly skeptical.
"Fine. But you can't deny it was you who knocked Snape out when you found us with Sirius in the Shrieking Shack. Even though you hadn't heard any of the story, your instinct was still to trust me, and that saved Sirius."
"Don't be ridiculous, Harry. You saved Sirius by using the time-turner and helping him escape with Buckbeak. After he strangled me in the Greenhouse, I can't say I was very inclined to hear him out, but no one deserves a dementor's kiss. I could hardly let Snape make himself guilty of that," Penny said, shaking her head as she thought about how different she and Harry were. His motivations were always so self-less whereas hers were wholly selfish.
"You can argue the particulars all you want Penny, but the fact remains, that you went looking for me when I didn't show up for dinner. You showed up, like you always have, to be there for me in whatever stupid situation I find myself in, and when you can't, you make sure I know you're always there—like your insane idea of linking us when I went into that maze. I hate knowing you had to endure the cruciatus because of me, but when I was in that graveyard, that link between us reminded me why I couldn't give up. I had to get back to you, Penny, and that drove me to overcome the odds."
"Harry. . .I think you're underestimating the great wizard you are. Bravery and resilience come naturally to you—"
"Only because I have a sister who has always fought for me, supported me and loved me despite all of my failings. I wouldn't be any of it without you. That's why I hate it, I hate that you've had to do so much alone. The Bulgarians, the Ministry, Yaxley, Umbridge, the mark, the veil, and now this. At the very least I should have gone with you, Penny." Harry's voice cracked at these words, and he turned away quickly to hide his emotions from her.
Penny had seen him cry very few times in her life. Though he had always been there when she cried, mostly about stupid things like getting less than 100 on a spelling test, or stepping on an ant. But he'd never told her that her tears were silly and never made her feel bad for spilling them. Still, he did not cry often, and when he did he seemed afraid to share them, as though he were afraid they might upset her.
Knowing that emotion had overcome her brother, the same one who faced Voldemort, it reminded her just how much he loved her. It was an overwhelming kind of love, one she couldn't live without but also didn't know what to do with most of the time.
"You're such a prat, Harry," Penny sighed, throwing her arm over his shoulder. "A prat with a savior complex. Just because you weren't there to witness those things, which I'll have you know, I never wanted you to see, doesn't mean you haven't been my constant, favorite companion since our days in the womb. That relationship—you—have always gotten me through all of it. I can't tell you the amount of times I wanted to give up, but you never let me, as annoying as it is. You persistently remind me that so long as we have each other, they can't break us. So please, never insult me again by suggesting you have been anything short of the best twin a girl could ask for."
She kissed his cheek, feeling his reluctant grin beneath her lips.
"You idiot," he said with a shake of his head. "Why can't you ever just accept an apology? I promise it's not as bad as you think."
"Because you always insist on this hero complex that makes you believe that everything rests on your shoulders. And it doesn't. Chosen one or not, you're just my brother to me and normal brothers definitely never apologize. Just look at Ron."
"You sure you want me to be more like Ron?" Harry said skeptically, looking down at her from the corner of his eye.
"You know what I meant," she replied, ruffling his hair because she couldn't resist.
"I've been thinking," Harry said after a long pause where Penny wrapped herself around his upper arm and laid her head on his shoulder.
"That's new."
"Can you try to be serious for like ten seconds?" he said in that adorably annoyed tone of his
"Fine. You have my full attention."
"Well, to all started at Godric's Hollow, didn't it?"
"What did?" Penny said, remembering Lupin mentioned the place as where they'd been born.
"I don't know, us? It's the only place we were all together."
"With mum and dad?" Penny said quietly, going very still at the thought of the home Harry and her might have grown up in had things gone different.
"I want us to go, on our birthday. I think it's time we visit them."
He glanced down at her, green eyes tentative but determined. He'd been thinking about this for a while, waiting for the right moment to bring it up.
"Will they even let us with—
"Once we're 17 they can't stop us." The force with which he uttered the words made her believe him. Nothing would keep him from this, from whatever waited there for them. "So will you go? Will you visit their graves with me?"
It was Penny's turn to get emotional now, holding onto a living, breathing replica of James while imagining him and Lily buried side-by-side in Godric's Hollow when they should have been here with them.
"Yeah, I'd like that," Penny mumbled, clinging a little tighter to her brother.
The castle was abuzz the next day with everyone catching up on how their holiday went. Penny purposely skipped breakfast because she did not want to be asked precisely that question and remained a bit subdued during Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid, who told her his friend had agreed to visit Hogwarts to share his knowledge with Penny about Sphynxes. This news brightened her mood considerably, something that made Hagrid beam and let her out to lunch early.
Grabbing a plate of food, Penny retreated to an empty classroom, her mind so lost in thoughts about Fleamont and Regulus Black that she hadn't noticed she was being followed until the classroom door shut behind him.
Penny, who was sitting atop a desk next to a window turned and found Sebastian sauntering towards her.
"Only back one day and already hiding. Couldn't have anything to do with that little stripe you came back from Nurmengard with, could it?" he mused, eyes trailing over her body and stopping on that cursed piece of white.
"How did you know I was at Nurmengard?" Penny said, trying to appear less surprised than she was. She hated how he always had the upperhand in these little conversations of theirs.
"I told you, my dad makes frequent visits to the Dark Lord and it just so happens that word got around about your little pilgrimage," Sebastian shrugged, dropping his bag and pushing the window open.
"Of course they couldn't keep that to themselves," Penny mumbled darkly as she thought about her run in with the Carrows. "Do me a favor and don't mention it to anyone," she said, poking at the sandwich she was trying to convince herself to eat.
"A favor? That'll cost you," he said, looking up through his eyelashes at her as he bent forward to light his cigarette.
"Are you shamelessly trying to solicit sexual services from me, Sebastian?"
"Where would be the fun in coercing you? I prefer making you beg for it." he said, amusement playing at the corners of his pretty eyes before he turned away from her to blow the smoke out the window.
"I'm not the begging type," Penny snorted, hopping off her table to join him at the window. "And for your information, I'm the kind of girl that likes taking what I want," she said, eyes dropping to his mouth as her fingers plucked the cigarette from it and placed it in her own.
By the time their eyes met, the electricity was palpable in the air between them. Those deep set eyes were so annoyingly alluring. The kind of alluring that was especially difficult to ignore when the sweet taste of him lingered on the cigarette in her mouth.
But Penny couldn't let herself be so easily taken by such things, not when they were locked in a contest of wills, each daring the other to move, to bridge that distance between them; all while measuring up the other in an attempt to ascertain how much actual desire was intertwined in the provocation.
To Penny's intense satisfaction, Sebastian looked away first, saying to his shoes, "I don't mind a challenge, Penny, it keeps things interesting," he practically sighed, the smirk evident at the edge of his mouth.
Penny turned to the window and let the smoke trapped in her chest free, Sebastian coming up beside her with a new cigarette a moment later.
Spring was in full force, the grounds teeming with the chirping of birds, the blooming of flowers, and that pleasant breeze that whispered to them about the summer waiting for them just over the horizon.
It was much warmer these days, so they shrugged off their school robes as they smoked in silence for several minutes, glancing at the other every so often.
"So what's the real cost of keeping my secret then? If blowjobs are off the table."
"Hmm?" he said, thick brows furrowing as his mouth pursed around his cigarette. "Oh," he added when Penny touched a strand of white hair. "Simple. I get to see more of you."
"Not satisfied with our sporadic rendezvous?" Penny challenged.
"No, I'm not." The unapologetic, matter-of-fact tone to his voice caught Penny off guard and made her do a double take. He was looking out at the grounds again, pretty features smooth, except for the creases around his mouth giving away his displeasure at the thought. "I want more of you, all of you, really. But I'll settle for Saturday afternoons," said Sebastian, turning the full force of those deep set eyes on Penny and nearly knocking the breath out of her.
She had not expected that, not that she ever knew what to expect with him.
"A bit forward there, aren't you, Slytherin boy?" Penny managed to say with more confidence than her scrambling brain felt capable of conjuring.
"Would you prefer I lie?"
"Who's to say you're not lying now."
He pressed the butt of his cigarette against the windowsill and then turned his body so it was facing her now. "Is that what you think this is? Some kind of game?"
"With any typical Slytherin, I'd say yes. But it's harder to tell with you," Penny admitted, turning back to the window. Why was it so hard to face him? She was in Gryffindor, she shouldn't be such a coward. And yet, she did not trust her brain to think clearly while he stood this close.
"If you want proof why don't you just ask for it?"
"That's not what I meant—" Penny said, jarred by his frankness.. Why was he so good at this, at keeping her on her toes?
"I think it is. Only, you've convinced yourself you shouldn't ask for what you want. But why shouldn't I give it to you, Penny? Do you have a good reason for thinking I wouldn't give you anything you asked me for?"
His hand, that strong Quidditch hand of his found her shoulder and turned her to face him, sending a flush of warmth through her body. She glanced shamelessly as that bare forearm still outstretched. He'd rolled up his sleeves, something he had to know was impossibly attractive and she cursed him for it. The skin there was faintly tan, likely from all the time he spent practicing; Penny noticing, when she finally looked up from him, that his face too, looked tanner, making her wonder what he'd done with his holiday.
Again, they were locked in a standoff, except Penny knew this time she would not come out the victor, that she didn't want to come out the victor.
"What I want hasn't ever mattered. Most things are dictated to me so I've found it easier to just not to get my hopes up," Penny shrugged.
It was something she always felt deep within herself but had never spoken out loud before. And yet, speaking those words and listening to the reality of them did not bring her the freedom she sought, rather they made her feel inexplicably sad.
When had she given up on believing this life of hers would one day be wholly hers again? When had she resigned herself to being the puppet of powerful men?
"But it won't always be that way and you're in some desperate need of practice, so tell me, Penny, what do you want?" That hand slid sideways down the side of her arm and stopped at her wrist as though it lacked the confidence to touch her hand outright.
"You're persistent, aren't you?" Penny chided, smiling at that hand of his despite herself.
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"It might be if I'm not interested." Her eyes were back on his face now, eyebrow arched in challenge, testing him.
His grasp slackened around her wrist, Penny disappointed to see it go as he said, "Then now's the perfect opportunity to tell me to go away. I promise not to hold it against you," his right hand covering his heart.
He stood there, that forearm of his taunting her again, Penny doing her best to resist it only to find the smug satisfaction etched into the handsome angles of his face telling her it hadn't gone unnoticed. His right cheekbone lifted, just slightly, as though he were resisting the urge to smirk.
He was the picture of enticement; that, Penny couldn't ignore. But there was something more to him, an openness she knew he couldn't have faked even if he'd tried. His words were genuine, and like their other encounters, he was trying to dig a bit deeper, get beyond their flirtatious back and forths. It was like he cared about the answers to these questions—her thoughts. And yet, he did not know how welcome it was, this distraction from everything that had happened over the holiday; this moment of normalcy he offered.
Whatever this was between them, the ease of it brought Penny some small happiness that made everything a bit more bearable. So she decided Sebastian was worth it, he'd earned the benefit of the doubt.
"If I told you to go away, who's cigarettes would I steal?"
"You're a resourceful girl."
"But one who dislikes change, and if I'm being honest, I've become rather fond of these little heart-to-hearts of ours. So I think I'll keep you around. For now, at least."
"As relieved as I am to hear you admit that, you still haven't done what I asked you to do," he said leaning forward just enough for his hot, minty breath to brush against her face and make it impossible for her to ignore those lips, parted slightly in irritation. Plump, pink and begging for her to lean forward and kiss them.
"Sorry, Sebastian, you'll have to try a lot harder than that to get me to say I want you," Penny smirked, somehow managing to find the resolve to tear her gaze away from his lips. "But you can try again on Saturday."
And turning she grabbed her stuff and made her way to the door before her hormones decided they didn't like her decision to put some distance between them; only pausing when he called after her, "You know this means I'm gonna make you wish you'd just done as I asked, right?"
"You say that like it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for."
Those eyes smiled down at his shoes as he shook his head of bleached hair, Penny leaving him there to mumble mutinously to himself.
"Can't you turn it black or something? Anything but this horrid white?" Draco said as he inspected her streak with a look of disgust.
Like Sebastian, he already knew about Penny's holiday travels and was clever enough to assume her new look had something to do with the field trip.
"Believe me, I've tried everything."
"What about cutting it off?" Draco said.
"Don't even think about it," Penny scowled, yanking her hair free of his grasp.
"It seems to go into the root anyway, so it's probably not worth giving you a mullet to test," he muttered.
"How was your holiday, anyway?" Penny asked, a little quieter now because Slughorn was giving the day's instructions.
"Better than yours, I assure you. I stayed at Blaise'."
"Did you now?" Penny said, casting him a curious look.
"Oh don't give me that judgy tone. It was better than being trapped with that noseless—" Draco stopped dead, obviously realizing what he was about to say out loud and in the presence of other Death Eater's children, and cleared his throat instead.
"Yeah, I get it" Penny said, an edge to her voice that seemed to soften Draco's features. "So, did you share a bed?" she grinned after a short pause.
"Are you really that sex deprived you're asking about my sex life?" he said with an eye roll.
"Because I can't just be curious about my friend's—"
"Dick?" he drawled, amusement curling that pretty mouth of his.
"Emotional wellbeing," Penny corrected pointedly.
"We're fucking, nothing more," he said simply. The look on his face told Penny that it wasn't up for discussion so she chanced a look sideways at Blaise and Nott. They were in the middle of a conversation with Slughorn, who seemed completely enamored with whatever Blaise was saying.
She hated both boys for differing reasons. But she found it especially hard to understand what Draco saw in Blaise. Good looking or not, he was so self-involved whereas Draco was snobbish, sure, but introspective and intellectual. He had so much more to offer and in Penny's opinion deserved much better.
"I can't wait for the day you get over him and let me set you up with Harry."
"Hate to break it to you, Potter, but the chosen one doesn't impress me or"—he looked down at his crotch— "him much."
"Pretend all you want, but I've seen you giving that sleek quidditch body of his lingering looks in the corridors," Penny winked.
"Speaking of quidditch hunks," Draco said, shooting her a sneer that told her she was not to return to the topic of her brother, "I heard you and a certain Slytherin Captain have been spotted together multiple times now."
"Why do you sound so surprised? Not only is Sebastian nice to look at, it turns out he's interesting too," Penny said casually, not looking back at the grey eyes that were carefully measuring her response.
"You're on a first name basis?"
"Yes. As surprising as I'm sure it is, he does not in fact insist I call him Captain," said Penny in a tone dripping with sarcasm.
"What does he insist on?"
"Being annoyingly enthralling," Penny said, absentmindedly as she scanned the page in her potions book for the ingredient she knew she was missing.
"You like him!" he accused in a thoroughly scandalized tone, confusing Penny.
"I wouldn't be hanging out with him if I disliked him."
"You were supposed to fuck him, not like him!" Draco fumed, snatching the book from her so she'd pay attention to him.
"I'm hardly going to sleep with someone I don't like!"
"I'm sorry to have to say this, but you and your life are too bat shit crazy to fall in love with someone as decent as Sebastian. It'll never work out. You need someone fucked up like—like—like Snape!"
He has a point.
That unwelcome voice in her head practically purred in delight as he uttered the words, but she pushed it aside, too irritated with Malfoy to be distracted.
"Firstly, I thought you were supposed to be my friend so how can you be so calloused! And secondly, he's my bloody professor! How the hell do you think that's gonna go down were either of us that insane."
"Friends don't distort the truth. Not to mention there is no point trying to deny yours, especially when you're not only are you his pet; you're on Bella's hit list; Yaxley is still hellbent on raping you, and you've apparently become the Carrows new favorite toy. Do you really want to drag Sebastian into all that?" Draco said in a hissed whisper, glancing around to ensure no one was eavesdropping. "And don't even get me started about how you and Snape have never cared about what an appropriate student teacher relationship entails. You shirked those expectations a long time ago, love."
"So we're a little unconventional, that doesn't mean I want to fuck him!"
"Of course you do! You act like we can't all see you two eye-fucking each other all the damn time!" Draco said at the same moment Grindelwald said, You most certainly do, Penny darling. I've only been here a week and ascertained as much.
"We're through with this conversation," Penny said to both of them as she turned back to her cauldron and focused all her energy on refortifying her mind so the annoying man could no longer eavesdrop on her conversations.
Why are you trying to shut me out when we both know my talents would be of the utmost use here. I promise you, seducing a man like Severus, while daunting, is the most satisfying kind of chase.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Penny repeated in her head, the irritation within her rising. She hated that voice, hated him and the fact her brain wasn't hers anymore. She had no privacy, no place she could be alone.
While a valiant effort, your mind is too terribly undisciplined, especially now that you're angry, to have any hope of pushing me out. So why not stop trying and let me show you how to use the gift I bestowed upon you properly.
"Shut up!" Penny screamed, a thunderous jolt of magic bursting from her and sending her cauldron hurtling across the room. It narrowly missed Slughorn's head and impaled itself in the wall, spewing her potion in all directions.
People yelled, Slughorn cursing as he jumped away with a start while Penny recoiled into herself when that familiar drilling started to make her feel like her skull was being cracked open from the inside out.
"Stay back!" Slughorn said, sounding much more unsure than he probably intended. He was keeping a wide berth, eyeing Penny warily. All the Professors had been warned about this possibility and the fact she now carried Grindelwald's power as a precaution to keep the other students safe.
Apparently, Slughorn remained unconvinced the outburst was over and had his wand out, as though preparing to throw up a shield charm should the situation necessitate one.
"I'm sorry, Penny croaked. I need the hospital wing, may I go, sir?"
"O-of course, my dear. But perhaps someone should escort you."
"No!" Penny said, rather harshly before her brother could insist on going. "I'll be fine,"
And turning without so much as waiting for an answer or glancing at a single one of her peers, who were murmuring as she passed, she practically ran from the room, only pausing once she'd made it to the hall. Everything around her shifted dangerously as her head pounded angrily. She felt on the verge of passing out, and wondered for a moment if it was Tom beckoning her as he had once before. But then that loathsome voice returned and all her own thoughts were drowned out.
Leaving this power unchecked is a danger to those around you, Penny. Imagine if you had been sitting where the boy was, what would be left of that professor? More importantly, what would accidentally killing him have meant for you?
"If you're so worried then take it back. I told you I didn't want it," Penny hissed back in her mind as she jogged up the stairs and sped across the Entrance Hall that led not to the Hospital Wing but her Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.
Is that what you have been setting your hopes on, that this can be undone? Your first lesson then is that what has been freely given cannot be withdrawn—it's yours now.
"Then I give it back."
Penny teetered again, reaching out for the wall to steady herself. Cold sweat was rolling off her face and she was panting as though she'd run a marathon, and still, that horrid drilling within her head persisted, making her want to scream.
She was only a few corridors from his classroom and yet she worried she wouldn't make it, that she couldn't hang onto her consciousness long enough.
"Fleamont!" Penny called, sliding down against the wall because she was too unsteady on her feet, and not at all desirous of breaking her nose should she faint. "Fleamont I need your help," Penny called out again.
A small poof of air stirred beside her, the cat stepping into her lap and pressing his nose against hers as he gave a soft meow as though to say hello.
"I knew you'd hear me," she smiled.
He purred in response, letting her scratch his cheek as Penny said, "Get Snape and don't let him ignore you. It's urgent. I don't care if he's in the middle of class, I need him."
Fleamont needed nothing else. As soon as Penny finished her sentence, he bounded off, that little bell around his neck jingling prettily as he went.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't he the wrong kind of daddy to be asking to make things all better for you? I thought his expertise lay in much more pleasurable endeavors.
Between Grindewald's voice and the roaring of magic itching to burst free, Penny did not notice when his footsteps approached until he knelt down before her.
"Must I remind you, Potter, that I am not yours to summon whenever you so wish. I was teaching class when your mongrel destroyed the room, so this better be good or I'm going to petition the Headmaster to have him locked out of the castle for being a nuisance."
Eyes snapping open, Penny having closed them in an attempt to shut out the noise and muster every last ounce of strength to keep her magic in check, she practically lunged for him. "Help me!" she gasped, clinging desperately to his wrist and pulling him toward her..
Snape's gaze settled on her face, the sneer being replaced with that sharp look he adopted when he was searching for answers. His eyes missed nothing, taking in the cold sweat; her obvious state of disarray, the strain, pain and absolute desperation that tinged her plea.
Despite the agony, the little pockets of black that threatened to overtake her vision, Penny nearly gasped when the contact with his skin started siphoning off that horrible power that was teeming to be released. Her other hand reached forward, allowing more escape at once, easing the burden on her pounding heart.
"What happened?" he demanded so harshly it came off as an accusation, hand turning her face from side-to-side to inspect her.
He's buttoned up so tightly. I wonder what he would do if you were to grab onto something else a little lower. . .
"Get out of my head!" Penny groaned, shaking it violently as though she could get free of Grindelwald, again not realizing she said the words out loud, her hands were now trembling against his steady ones.
Our head, Penny dear.
"Look at me, Potter," said Snape, his cold hands forcing her to turn toward him. "I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on."
"I can't make him shut up! He's in my head and I can't block him out. It's driving me and this awful magic mad!" Penny practically grunted as her head gave another awful throb.
"Who?" said Snape, brows disappearing into his hairline as he brushed her own hair off her sweaty face with his thumb.
"Grindelwald, who else!" Penny said, thoroughly exasperated.
"And what would he be doing in your head?" Snape said slowly, as though the interval he placed between each word would demonstrate to her exactly how impossible such a thing was.
Admiring the view, of course.
"Talking over me, commenting, being generally annoying in his attempt to coerce me to let him help me!"
"You can hear him?"
"For fucks sake, isn't that much obvious? I called you here to help me close my mind to him, not ask stupid questions!"
Black eyes narrowed, his thin lips a fine line as he considered her for a long moment, looking like he did not trust what he was looking at. But he seemed to decide against whatever else he was contemplating because he stood, taking her with him.
"Fine. But we will do this someplace more private. The last thing I need is someone asking questions about what we're doing," and glancing left then right, he pulled her after him into the nearest unoccupied classroom.
When he let her go, Penny collapsed to the floor again as Grindelwald's presence continued to batter against her own.
Snape cast several charms on the door before kneeling before Penny, who was panting from the effort not to cry out in pain.
"You will need to open your mind to me if you would like to spare yourself any added pain," Snape instructed, taking out his wand.
Oh please do, I am dying to get a closer look at him.
"You can't—we have no idea what he's capable of or what could happen to you," Penny said, green eyes darting away from the black so he could not continue on despite her objections.
"Your worry is wasted on me, Potter. It is not my mind that is in danger, it is yours."
Do as your Professor says, Penny. You don't want him to give you detention do you?
"He's Grindelwald! I won't risk him hurting you for my sake. Just tell me what to do."
"Occlumency takes practice and careful instruction. It is not something you can master in a single sitting, and certainly not while you're this worked up. You asked for my help, and this is what I'm offering. Now open your mind, I'm getting tired of listening to your prattle about non-issues while you're clearly suffering," he snapped. He was done being polite, Penny could see that much in the lines around his eyes. But still she hesitated.
"But what if he hurts you?"
"Then I will know what it is he is afraid of and we will have gained the upper-hand."
Snape did not care. The prospect of putting himself in danger to help her did not bother him in the least. It wasn't over-confidence, though they both knew we was a very accomplished occlumens. No, the risk did not matter to him because it was her, and Severus Snape would do anything for her. Despite being angry with her, despite having done this to herself against his advice, he could not leave her alone in the mental and physical agony of losing her mind to this bastard.
"O-okay," Penny said, allowing him to coax her face back up to meet his gaze.
He didn't wait, muttering legilimens as soon as green met black. She was consumed by their depth, sucked into the comfort he offered. She resisted the instinct to flinch away from that unfamiliar presence. He had not been in her mind many times, but there was something very different than the others who'd been there before him. Her mind and body buzzed around him, as though set on fire by his mere presence.
Though the pain raged on and Penny was no longer aware of what was going on, she felt more alive somehow. As though Snape carried with him, some piece, some answer about the world she'd been looking for.
He lingered at the threshold before pushing in, slowly at first, gauging her response to be sure he didn't cause her any more pain, and her mind melted before him, all too willing to allow him entry. When he'd made it far enough to be engulfed in the frenzy that was her terror and Grindelwald's approval, he paused, giving her the time to get adjusted to the feeling of his presence inside her. But it was not necessary because to Penny it felt as though her every cell was crying out to him, begging for more of whatever that feeling was that followed him.
See, I knew you would like it. And that's only the tip of the iceberg of what he can offer you
Snape stirred, evidently aware that something was amiss, but whether he could hear Grindelwald or not, Penny didn't want to know, certain her cheeks were flushing mutinously.
As strange and unsettling as it was to have so many occupants in her head, Penny found she welcomed Snape much more readily than she'd anticipated. There was something about that icy composure he brought with him that calmed her.
Her breathing slowed, her body relaxing in response to that hum emanating from him, and Penny let out a sigh of relief—Snape's cue to push farther, reaching into those places most people didn't venture.
Her hand moved, finding his wrist and gripped in an attempt to ground herself, making him pause. While her hand did not move and her grip was likely uncomfortably tight, she did not ask him to stop, so he continued, calling parts of her mind to himself and pushing back against Grindelwald, who's words had finally gone silent.
By the time all traces of Grindelwald had been banished, Snape was practically holding a panting, sweaty mess of Penny upright. It had taken considerable effort to ensure her mind did as Snape bade, strengthening in the places he told it to strengthen and closing in the corners that needed securing. She'd never realized the physical strength a strong mind required. If his effort left her feeling as though she'd run a marathon then what would doing it herself require?
It was jarring when Snape finally extracted himself, Penny groaning slightly when her mind protested, trying to cling to him and being inevitably forced back by that steely barricade that surrounded his own mind.
"Your mind is a mess," he drawled when Penny's spinning vision settled on him.
"Can't imagine why," Penny scowled, pulling away from him to rest against the wall behind her.
"That is no excuse. The disarray inherent to it no doubt allowed Grindelwald to bridge into it with absurd ease!" His voice was cold, even as he wiped the sweat from her face with that handkerchief of his.
"I'm 16, I'm supposed to be easy," she blurted out before she could stop herself, sending that vein in his neck throbbing.
"Is this some kind of joke to you, Potter?"
"You mean my life? Yeah, it's a bit of a joke, all things considered."
"Spare me your pity party. All of this could have been avoided had you even a modicum of discipline!"
"Oh? Suddenly regretting not spanking me more, are you, sir? Did you want to start now?" Penny challenged, trying to snatch the cloth from him, but he clung onto it, his dark eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Can you even try to reign in your hormones for the duration of a single conversation? Whatever silly school-girl fantasies you have about me bending you over, I can assure you, they are as unimaginative as everything else that spews from your mouth. Unlike those desperate boys you so love to chase, my attentions prefer something a bit more interesting than you can offer," he sneered.
"If you needed me to charge you a galleon first, why didn't you just ask? I'm always happy to oblige my favorite professor."
Penny didn't know what she was thinking, but she couldn't stop herself, stop the smirk that followed, or the intense satisfaction she felt when that normally composed face burned red.
"Nice try, Potter, but we both know you haven't the faintest clue how to make it worth my galleon. It would take less than five minutes to break you."
"Is that a promise or a challenge?"
"It is neither until you can get that filthy, useless mind of yours under control."
He hadn't completely rejected the offer. He'd left a small opening, whether intentional or not, Penny could not allow herself to ponder it seeing as her heart was already hammering erratically in her chest, and a distracting tingling was spreading from the place his finger pressed against hers in their war for the handkerchief.
Damn the man, he knew exactly what he was doing, and the thought of all the other things he was capable of making her feel left her mouth dry.
"If you would like your mind to remain yours," he pressed on, satisfied he now had her complete attention, "it will need to be rigorously edified."
At this point, Penny had to let go of the handkerchief, as she choked on the moan that nearly escaped her mouth at the vivid image of all the rigorous activities her body wanted to do with this awful man.
She looked away from him in hopes of preventing him from stealing those thoughts that betrayed her, but the way his lips curled in a cruel satisfaction told her it was too little too late.
"Right, well you'll excuse me if I've been a tad preoccupied with trying not to kill people with this psycho's power, which I have no control of," Penny scowled, warmth pooling between her legs, making her press them a little more tightly closed.
Why couldn't these exchanges ever just go the way she wanted? Like with him prying her legs apart and making use of this feeling. But no, Snape insisted on tormenting her until she remembered exactly why he was the most hated and fuckable professor in Hogwarts.
"Then we will practice them in tandem," was his matter-of-fact reply as he folded up his handkerchief and returned it to his pocket.
"And when exactly am I supposed to study for my exams?"
"Your inability to manage time is not my problem, Potter. Now get up, I have a class to teach and I will not leave you here to sulk."
"I'm not sulking!" she said incredulously, but he ignored her and instead pulled her to her feet.
He held onto her for a moment, eyes roving over her to assess whether she would remain upright or not.
"Saturday night, 5pm," he said when black eventually landed on the green.
"I have plans on Saturday!"
"Then change them," said Snape, shoving her bag into her arms. "I suggest a shower," he added, eyes heavy with disgust as he glanced at the hair plastered to her head from all the sweating.
It was the last straw for Penny, who yanked herself free, shoulders back and nose in the air. "Oh, my poor professor, are you in desperate need of the image of me naked to help relieve yourself from the frustration of this conversation? I'll be sure to leave the door to the prefect's bathroom ajar in case you're interested to see exactly who it is that'll break in less than five minutes."
Red faced and floundering for words, she left him there, her horrible mind enjoying the prospect of him actually peeping on her a little too much.
She tried shaking herself free of the thought to no avail as she marched down the corridors; that burning between her legs harassing her until, much to her annoyance, she retreated to the showers to find relief in the shower head; trying not to let herself acknowledge the fact Snape was the cause for it and what she imagined as she came.
OK but I really can't blame Penny. Snape's But girl, bad plan, you're about to have Occlumency lessons with him. I don't know who I feel worse for, her when he sees or him when he realizes 😂😂