Chapter 2
A/N: Bold/Italics are thoughts. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
"I have become a better person because of you"
Alex opened her eyes slowly, Maggie's words still vividly present in her mind. If the detective knew how much those words meant to her, and how those same feelings were reciprocated. Alex has become a better person because of Maggie; she had made her understand that life was so much more than saving the world, than just existing to serve a purpose. It was also about love. About loving freely that one person who makes us whole, who makes us better every day in every way. That one special person that came to this world to makes us understand who we really are and what we are capable of. For her, that one person was Maggie.
Alex looked down at the detective; her head was comfortably resting on her shoulder. She was still sound asleep. The agent took a moment to look at her, admire her beauty, her simplicity. She studied every single line on her face. Even in her sleep, Maggie had those adorable dimples she so easily fell in love with. She gently moved the rebellious strands of hair away from the detective's face with her free hand.
"How can I fix this, Mags", she whispered gently kissing the detective's forehead. Alex felt her move closer into her embrace. This made her smile. She tightened the embrace, trying not to hurt the detective even further. She needed to have her as close as humanly possible.
"With time we will figure it out", Maggie whispered sleepily placing a gentle kiss on the agent's neck.
5 days later…
"With time we will figure it out"
Those words still haunted her. After Maggie said them it gave Alex some hope that things could get fixed between them, that they can go back to how things were. The reality was that it will never be the same, the damage was already done and it ran too deep within both of them. Also, those were the last words spoken by the detective before going into total silence.
"Probably everything she said was due to the meds", Alex whispered, nursing her drink. Her mood this week hasn't been the best. Today she left the DEO early and went home to clear her head to get her emotions under control. Maggie was released today and she didn't even utter a word to the agent, not even a look or a message. All she knew was that the detective went to her apartment to spend the rest of her recovery period there. Apparently she was renting a place not far from the DEO building, according to her medical records.
"I should probably be patient", Alex said playing with her drink, "Or maybe I fucked it all up for good"
Maggie entered her apartment, kicking the door close. She looked around at the empty space, boxes still scattered around. She hasn't had any motivation to unpack just yet cause it would mean that she would be staying here. Walking in a bit further, the detective threw her bag on the couch and headed to the kitchen counter. She sat at the bar stool and grabbed the unopened envelope that was casually left there. It has been there since before the incident with Alex.
"Alex"
She feared the content inside that envelope. Now even more after spending the last five days in proximity of Alex. The first day was so emotional. She wanted to forget everything that happened and just give in, staying in her arms forever. But she knew it wasn't that easy. Maggie was hurting really badly after the break-up. It hurts to look at Alex knowing that she wasn't hers anymore, her fiancé.
"I need to go away", she thought, crying silently. She opened the envelope and noticed that it was a confirmation letter regarding the transfer she requested a few days after the break-up. She wasn't thinking clearly back then. Now? She doubted her decision; she had some hope that things could be fixed. But she didn't want to hope, she feared the agent once again would break her heart.
"Damn it, Danvers", she whispered in frustration, pulling the letter out of the envelope. She unfolded it and started reading its content:
"Detective Sawyer:
We are pleased to inform you that your transfer request has been processed. An available slot has been found at the 13th Homicide Investigative Unit in the Gotham Police Department. The GPD Commissioner, Commissioner Gordon, will contact you to receive your formal acceptance and will also provide you with more information about your upcoming transfer, if you so accept this position.
Very respectably;
Human Resources, Gotham Police Department"
Maggie folded the letter and placed it back inside the envelope. She stared at it for a minute, analyzing her options. She could stay here at National City, working beside the woman she loves, lingering for a chance of having what they had once again. Or she can start a new life in Gotham and have a probable chance of moving on from Alex.
"Like that is even possible", she chuckled sadly, tears still flowing. How can she move on from someone who was imbedded in her very soul? She put the envelope aside and grabbed the bottle of scotch. She opened it and poured a glass. Memories of the other day started flowing through her mind:
Maggie saw Alex in the distance, trying to fight the alien. The bullets weren't doing any damage to the creature. Fear started cruising all over her body, fear of loosing Alex.
NO.
She ran towards the agent as fast as she could and pushed her out of the way, feeling the spike penetrating her skin. It went right through her.
The detective took a bit sip of her drink.
"Come back to me, baby", he heard Alex's voice. She was there with her.
Maggie finished her drink and tried not to think on how soft the agent's lips were, how perfect it felt to be held by her once again.
"Damn you, Danvers", she whispered.
"How can I fix this, Mags", Alex repeated like a mantra through the night.
"I don't know, baby", she said while pouring another glass of scotch, "I don't know"
KNOCK KNOCK
Alex was in deep slumber when she heard knocks on her door, a headache vividly splitting her skull in half. "Drinking wasn't the best of ideas, you idiot", she said groggily. She opened her eyes slowly, moving her head too look at the clock on the nightstand at her left.
3:15am
"The hell?", she closed her eyes for a second and heard another knock on the door. She moved out of the bed and walked to greet her unwelcomed guest. Without looking through the peephole, she opened the door to find a very drunk Maggie on the other side.
"Hello, Danvers", she slurred walking towards the agent closing the door behind her, "You always looked so sexy in flannel pajamas"
Alex was in shock. Maggie was right in front of her, laying against the door, looking at her like she wanted to ravage her. The detective walked seductively towards her, reaching for the agent's left hand.
"Your hand definitely looked better with the engagement ring on", she placed a kiss on Alex hand. The agent felt tears form and did all that was possible to hold them at bay. Maggie pulled her closer and kissed Alex softly. The agent placed one hand on the detective's hair, the other on her hip, trying to keep her close and gain some control over the kiss. Having Maggie this close was intoxicating; she has wanted this for the longest time. But not like this. This felt wrong. She gently broke the kiss, keeping Maggie close. She looked at the detective's eyes and all she could see was sadness and hurt.
"Danvers?", she asked softly and confused. She felt like the agent was rejecting her, this was a bad idea.
"I really want this, Mags. Believe me. But not like this, this is wrong", Alex whispered, playing with the other woman's hair.
"Why?", Maggie asked, relishing on the agent's touch.
"You are drunk. It's not right", Alex whispered taking a step back from her, "I need you sober if we are going to do this. We need to clear things out if we wish to do this the right way"
The detective smiled and looked down at her boots, feeling shy all the sudden, "Ok, you're right. Could I stay here tonight? It's kind of late. The couch would be just fine"
"Of course. Whatever makes you feel comfortable", Alex answered stepping closer, "Why are you really here?"
Maggie looked up, "Because I miss you". She placed a soft kiss on the agent's cheek and walked towards the couch. "And there is something important we need to talk about"
The agent felt fear when she heard those words but decided not to ask, it can wait. "Ok, we can talk about it in the morning"
Maggie opened her eyes and studied the familiar ceiling. She was in Alex's apartment, their old apartment. She never thought she could miss a ceiling so much like she missed this one in particular. Smiling softly, she remembered all the beautiful moments she shared under this roof alongside Alex.
"Alex"
Sitting slowly on the couch, she looked around for the agent finding her still sleeping. The detective slowly stood up and walked towards the kitchen. She quickly started making coffee and placed some bagels in the toaster. She turned around to look at Alex, still fast asleep. She took the time to admire her, how adorable she looked while she slept. The way she cuddles with the pillow, Maggie's pillow. The detective bit her lower lip, wanting nothing more than to be that pillow.
"If you keep looking at me that way, Sawyer, I wont be responsible for my actions", the agent said half asleep, "And don't burn my coffee"
Maggie smiled walking slowly towards the bed. Alex opened her eyes and noticed the other woman, "What are you doing?", She sat up on the bed, propping herself against the headboard.
"Walking slowly towards you", the detective teased straddling the agent, placing her hands on the mattress. "Because I want to enjoy your morning dorkiness as much as I can"
Alex looked her and smiled fondly. "Is that even a word, Sawyer?".
"Maybe?", the detective laughed playfully grinding her hips on the agent's.
Alex placed her hands on Maggie's hips, "You know what I should be doing at this very moment?"
The other woman smiled, placing her hands on top of Alex's, "And what is that?"
"Loving you", she said closing the remaining distance and capturing Maggie's lips. The kiss was passionate, fierce, arms pulling each other's bodies closer. Alex turned them around, pinning the other woman under her. Their kisses grew desperate; awakening feelings they forgot existed. Alex started to kiss down Maggie's neck, letting the passion of the moment guide her carefully across her former lover's body. One hand moved up the other woman's tank top, producing delicious goose bumps through her skin. She thought that she knew Maggie's body by heart, how wrong she was. Her explorations brought reactions she had never experienced before. It was magical.
"Alex", Maggie moaned, her hands moving up Alex's back, "Mi vida" (my life)
The agent suddenly stopped, looking up at the other woman's eyes. "What are we doing?", she thought, noticing how Maggie had tears in her eyes.
Rejection.
Alex caressed her cheek, "Baby, I'm sorry". She kissed her cheek, "We need to stop. This can't happen this way again"
Of course, this all felt like déjà vu for Alex. The last time they made love was to say goodbye. This wasn't the way she wanted things to happen. Maggie deserved better than this. She deserved better than this.
Maggie closed her eyes and nodded, "I know". She gently pushed the other woman away and got out of the bed. She walked towards the kitchen but suddenly came to a stop, turning around to face the agent, "Do you still want me in your life, Alex?"
"Of course I do", the agent said getting out of the bed, walking towards the other woman, "There is nothing else I want more in my life than to be with you. Why do you ask?"
Maggie closed her eyes for a minute, "There's something I need to tell you". She opened her eyes again, took a deep breath and walked towards her leather jacket, reaching inside the pocket, pulling out the letter. "Please, just read it. I need to know what you think about this"
Alex reached out for the letter. She took it out of the envelope and carefully unfolded it. She started reading it, tears slowly falling. "GPD"
Maggie looked down, "Yes, I requested a transfer after our brake-up"
The agent folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. She walked towards the kitchen counter and placed the envelope there. "What do you want to do?"
The detective looked up, lost in thought. "The moment I made that request, I wanted to leave and go as far away from National City as I could"
Alex felt a pang of guilt, but she didn't voice it out. "What about now?"
"Now", the detective started to say looking back at the bed and looking around the room, "Now, not so much. I can't leave without knowing, Danvers. Or I will regret this decision for the rest of my short existence"
Alex smiled at that, "What you need to know?"
"Alex, life is all about decisions. Those decisions lead us to different paths in life and every path we take leads us to particular choices we need to make. Last time I made a choice based on my selfishness, I lost you. But you know, maybe we needed this time apart to think things through", Maggie started pacing towards the bed and the memory of their first night together came to mind, making her smile widely. Maggie turned back around and looked at the agent, "Sometimes when things go away; in this case, people; you really learn how to appreciate them. When I lost you I thought of all the times we spent together and all the other times we could have, all the 'what ifs' came to mind and what it would be like to have children. I never saw myself as a mother because I never entertained the idea, never thought that I would ever be one. But none of those times I though about what it would be like to have YOUR children"
Alex was in shock. She listened to Maggie in silence; processing everything she was telling her.
"Alex, if you want children we can find a way. I was selfish and I wish I could turn back time and fix things. But this is the real world and I know I can't do that. And I really don't want to get caught up on things again and screw this great thing we have…"
"Maggie…", Alex said walking closer to the other woman, "You didn't screw anything. We just didn't communicate the way we were supposed to and instead of fixing things, we took the easy way out"
Maggie was speechless for a moment. She looked at Alex and all she could think about is that some entity believed that she was this awesome human being and the agent was her divine gift. "What did I do to deserve you?"
Alex laughed and shook her head, "I was wondering the exact same thing"
"You're such a nerd", Maggie said walking closer to the other woman, grabbing Alex's hand, "But what I want to know is if my nerd would give me another chance? Give us another chance? And if she found it in her heart to give me one, I would love to take her on a date"
The agent smiled widely, "Well, this nerd would love to go out on a date with you because there is nothing in the world that I would want more than to give us another chance"
Maggie smiled shyly at Alex, "You're so cheesy, you know that?"
The agent pulled the other woman towards her, closing the distance and kissing her softly. "I thought you liked cheesy, Sawyer?"
"I secretly love it", Maggie said giving Alex a quick kiss, "The million dollar question is, does Danvers want to be my girlfriend once again?"
Alex tried to look serious, but failed miserably. "Detective, it would be my pleasure".
A cellphone ring at the rhythm of "I like big butts and I cannot lie" echoed through the apartment and Alex raised an eyebrow at Maggie.
"My phone, don't judge", the detective said walking towards her jacket, finding her phone, "Sawyer"
Alex smiled, laying against the kitchen counter while she waited for Maggie to finish with her phone call. She knew the call was work interrupting their very eventful morning, but she didn't care. She was happy that things with Maggie had a turn for the better and that they could restart again, maybe reach the point they left things at.
"Alex?", the detective said, bringing the agent back from 'la la land'. "I'm sorry about that, it was work. I need to report to do my psych evaluation and finish some paperwork from the other night. Can I call you after work?"
Alex smiled and nodded. She saw the detective gather her things. Slowly, she walked towards Maggie and grabbed her hand; "Just call me whenever you can?"
"I will, Danvers", she gave Alex a quick kiss and walked towards the door. She opened it and looked back at the agent, "You have no idea how happy I am that this is not a goodbye"
"I know. Make sure you let the GPD know that you aren't going anywhere. Unless Batman wants the DEO to pay him a visit"
Maggie laughed, "You're such a nerd. See you around, Danvers"
"See ya, Mags", Alex smiled as Maggie closed the door.