All characters belong to EL James and FSOG.

CPOV:

The ride home is dreadfully quiet as the tension swirls between us in the backseat of the suv. Ana called Ethan's parents to check on Will. They reported he was curled up in his big boy bed sound asleep - thankfully.

Once pleased that Will was okay, I finally saw the tears slip over her cheeks. I could tell by her tense body that she didn't want me to hold her so I settled for holding her hand. I expected her to recoil from my touch, but she held onto my hand as if it was our only lifeline. As if she lets go, her whole world would come crashing down and she would sink into the dark depths below.

The suv parks in her driveway, but she doesn't move to get out.

"Ana?" I call to her and gently tug her hand. It's dark inside the vehicle, but a blind man would be able to see how lost she is inside of herself.

"We're here." I nod my head towards the house. She looks towards the house, but doesn't move. I climb out and move around to open her door for her. Once there, I hold my hand out for her and she takes it hesitantly. Again, she links her fingers with mine tightly. Anchoring herself to me - to anything.

We walk quietly to the front door and it gives my brain a second to think about what just happened between Ethan, Ana and myself.

I screwed up. I know that. I majorly fucked up this time.

I can feel the darkness following us inside the house. I pause at the front door, not sure if she even wants me here right now. If I was her, I wouldn't want me here right now.

"Ana- I - um…" I mumble unsure of what to say. She turns around, those lost eyes find mine and the decision is made for me. She may not want me here, but I'm here. I've totally screwed up, but I'm not leaving her while she looks so incredibly lost. I turn around, lock the door then guide her to the bedroom.

"Do you want a bath?" I ask quietly as we step into the bedroom. She hasn't said one word since she got off the phone with Ethan's Mom.

"No" she says timidly. "Actually, a shower- I need a shower." She says while turning around so I can unzip her dress. I let it fall to her feet before I wrap my arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry." I whisper in her ear. "I'm so, so sorry" my voice is thick with emotion as I repeat I'm sorry into her neck. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears away.

I know this is the end of us. I can feel it in my heart.

"I know Christian. I know." She rubs my arm in a comforting manor before she moves out of my embrace and into the bathroom. I hear the water turn on and I'm unsure of what to do.

Do I follow her in there or give her some space? I start to undress while I contemplate my options. I don't want to press my luck after my behavior tonight, but I also don't want her to think I'm not concerned.

The decision is made for me when the shower turns off. She hasn't been in there long, especially not long enough to wash her hair. I throw on a new pair of briefs and walk into the bathroom to see what's going on. I find her sitting on the bathroom sink brushing her teeth. She rinses her mouth out then turn towards me.

"I was too tired to wash my hair or stand while brushing my teeth." She says with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders, not even realizing how adorable she is. We stare at each other for what feels like forever before she hops off the counter and walks past me.

"Will you make sure all the doors are locked and the security system is set?" She asks before disappearing into the closet. I nod even though she can't see me and make my way around the house.

I'm racking my brain to figure out how to fix this, but nothing is coming to mind besides apologizing every second of every day for the rest of my life. I make my way in Will's room to make sure his windows are still locked. On my way out of the room a picture on his dresser catches my eye. Ethan is holding Will on his hip and Will points to something in the sky. The look on Ethan's face is one I've never seen on him before. Pride. Tenderness. Happiness. Love. The longer I stare at the picture, the brighter the light bulb in my head becomes.

I walk back to the bedroom to find Ana under the covers with her back to me. I grab my phone and send a quick text to Taylor about Ethan before turning off the bedside lamp and crawling to bed next to her. I hesitate before wrapping my arm around her before my need to feel her for my own comfort wins out. She doesn't tense when I wrap around her like a vine, but she doesn't relax either.

"I get it." I say quietly while leaving a tender kiss on her shoulder.

"Get what?" She questions.

"I get why you didn't tell Ethan. I know you told me it was possible he would have done something to harm himself, but that never actually sunk in. While I may want to strangle him sometimes, I would never want any harm to come to him… by someone else or himself. I hope you know that-"

"I know you wouldn't Christian." She rolls over and faces me. Her eyes are filled with tears threatening to spill over. I pull her so close to me, our noses are touching and she finally relaxes against me.

I want to say so much more, but the events of tonight are catching up to me. I tenderly place a small kiss on her soft lips. The kiss, while short and sweet, was the comfort and security I needed. It's as if that's what we both needed to let sleep invade our bodies. And we do.

—

My phone buzzing on the nightstand is the first thing I hear the next morning. I ignore it, instead reaching out for Ana. My hand doesn't find the warm body it was looking for and I notice the sheets are cold. I pry my eyes open to see the empty spot next to me. I grab my phone when it starts buzzing again.

Grace Grey's name lights up the screen. A chill runs up my spine as last night's events come rushing back. I decide to ignore my mothers call and go to find Ana. I'm apprehensive about how she's feeling this morning compared to last night. Dread begins to fill my stomach at the thought of us being over.

I turn the corner in the kitchen and find her standing in only my shirt at the kitchen island. She's cutting up strawberries and eating them at the same time. She looks like she didn't sleep at all last night, which is exactly how I feel. As if she can feel me watching her, she looks up at me.

"Morning." She says with a smile as she plops a strawberry in her mouth. "I was just about to wake you up. I just finished cooking breakfast." She moves around the counter, taking the bowl with her and places it on the kitchen table. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast and fruit.

"How long have you been up?" I lean down to give her a kiss. Her lips melt into mine.

"A while. Couldn't sleep…" she says with a tired smile.

"I know. I felt like I was up all night even though I wasn't." I tell her while grabbing a piece of bacon. She looks at me as if she's contemplating something.

"I made an appointment with Flynn for this morning." She blurts out.

"Okay… Wow." I place my head in my hands. "I really messed everything up, huh?"

Her soft hands wrap around my own and she pulls them so I will look at her. She gives them a tight, comforting squeeze.

"Will you come with me?" She asks shyly.

"Really? You want me there?" I ask. Dr. Flynn has been amazing for Ana and her past issues with her mother. We don't normally talk about her sessions and I don't pry.

But this…

"Of course I do. Christian, last night was…" she looks for the right word "well, it was awful. I want us to work through what happened and why it happened together. Also, Flynn has a way of working the truth out of you." She rolls her eyes at that and I can't help but chuckle.

Together is the only word that sticks with me though. Together. Not just her. Not just me. Us.

"I'd love to baby. What time?" I ask while intertwining my hands with hers.

"9. So we have about an hour before we have to be there." She says before letting go of my hands to fill our plates. We eat in a somber silence, sharing looks every so often.

The fact she has asked me to go with her to work through this together speaks volumes to me. She wants this relationship and future just as much as I do. With that knowledge, I'm more determined than ever.

—

Dr. Flynn's office is warm and inviting as we sit on the couch across from him. Ana is giving a brief run down of what happened last night, from her point of view anyways.

I watch Dr. Flynn as he nods in the right spots and writes down a few things here and there.

"Okay, now that I feel caught up on what happened I would like to hear your thoughts Christian." He says.

"I know I've already apologized a few times and I don't think I will quit apologizing for this for the rest of my life." I begin and look to Dr. Flynn. He nods his head in a comforting way, letting me know I'm safe here.

"I shouldn't have betrayed your trust like I did. You confided in me and I used it to hurt someone. I promise you, I never meant to say it. It was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. He pushed every single one of my insecurity buttons and I was looking to hurt him like he was hurting me. I felt so angry and out of control while he was talking, but I also felt so… alone." I whisper the last word, shocked at how vulnerable I sound. Wow, Ana was right. I hadn't even thought of that before now.

"Alone?" She questions while looking up at me. Yeah baby, it's news to me too.

"I realized while he was talking that he has something I don't. He has a permanent place in your life. I don't." She goes to say something but I quickly place a finger over her mouth.

"I'm not bringing up marriage or pressuring you. I'm just saying it dawned on me that I'm not a permanent fixture in your life. I'm trying to battle your ex husband who still thinks he has a chance for your heart, but no matter what effort I put into it he will always be there because he's Will's Dad. I get it now, Ana. I promise I do." I let out everything I've been feeling. It tumbled out somewhat unexpectedly. Ana has tears in her eyes at this new information, but I can tell she's trying to hold back from crying.

"It hurts me to hear you say that you don't think you have a permanent place in our life. You do and I know deep down you know you do. Ethan just picked away at each of your insecurities and you let him…" she's silent for a moment but I know she's not done. She sits up straighter as the tears finally fall from her eyes. She bites her lip as she dabs her eyes with a tissue.

"Christian…" She tries to talk but she's overcome with emotion. I sit up straighter as well when I hear the tone in her voice.

"Christian" She looks up at me with tear stained cheeks and pain in her big blue eyes. "I can't keep doing this… I don't have a choice about Ethan being in my life. I will do everything in my power to make sure Will grows up with both parents. You know this." The tears are rolling down her cheeks rapidly as she struggles through them and her words.

This really is it. She's breaking up with me. I stay quiet, unsure of what to say when she continues.

"However, you have an choice. You don't have to stick around if you hate him. If this is too much for you or you don't think you can do this for the long run, you can get out." She hiccups through her words.

"That is true, Christian." Dr. Flynn speaks up, leaning forward towards both of us. I forgot he was even here until now.

"Ana doesn't have a choice when it comes to Ethan, but you do. I know loving someone so deeply seems important in the present, but you both need to look to the future. Your situation isn't the normal love that most people experience. Ana has been married before, she has a past. That marriage resulted in a wonderful little boy. It is baggage that most people can't deal with." He says before looking to Ana. She nods before finding her voice to speak again.

"I won't be upset if you decide this is too much Christian. I love you, you know I love you so much." She says while grabbing my hands. "But I can't continue to be put in the middle of you and Ethan. Especially when I've told you how much I want to be with you. There are no romantic feelings between Ethan and myself."

I'm quiet for a moment letting everything sink in. Leaving Ana and Will is not an option. I want to prove to her that I'm in this forever and I will do whatever I can to make this right with and for her. I can be the man she deserves and needs.

But something ticks in my head and I remember what I did when we got home last night.

"I have someone checking on and following Ethan." I blurt out. Ana's eyes widen at my unexpected confession.

"Wha- what?" She stutters out.

"Last night, I told you I finally understood why you never told him. Before I got in bed I texted Taylor to have someone find him and check on him. I was worried that he was going to do something to himself." I confess.

Ana stares at me, blinking a few times. She looks stunned by this. I look to Dr. Flynn and he nods at me, once again encouraging me to speak while I have the courage to do so.

"I promise you I am in this for the long haul. I love you and Will more than I can put into words. This isn't lust or a passionate affair that fizzles out. You and me are the real deal. I choose you, Will and even Ethan Kavanagh because you are my future Ana." I lean in to kiss her. Her soft lips mold against mine briefly before I pull away.

"Now, I can't promise to be his best friend." I say with an eye roll which causes Ana to giggle. A shy smile graces my face knowing it's me her made her laugh after all the pain I caused.

"Well, you two seem to be on the same path. I've seen a lot of couple come in here and I can tell who's going to make it and who isn't. I knew the moment you walked through that door you are one of the lucky ones. My only advice moving forward is to love each other, communicate and hold onto one another because this is a once in a lifetime type of true love. Oh, and stop repeating things she tells you. From a married man to a soon to be married man, don't do it." Dr. Flynn says with a wink my way. Ana blushes immediately at his words and bites into her bottom lip.

We spend a few more minutes discussing how to work with Ethan on this and he gives us some suggestions.

We walk out of the office, hand in hand and stronger than ever. Dr. Flynn's confidence in our love for one another makes me feel even more at peace with everything moving forward. Ana and I are endgame.

Now I just need Ethan to get on board with us and see me as another co parent - not a threat.

xoEW