Warnings: Mentions of sex, angst, cursing

Chapter 13

For the first time in a long-time Gabriel was uncertain as to what he should do, to what he should say. He had been playing a pagan god for so long that lying came as a second nature to him. He lied about everything, right down to his very name and abilities, but this? This wasn't something he should be lying about. If he was with a different human, one with a different bloodline than it probably wouldn't have been so bad. The problem was Sam was smart, smarter than most creatures gave him credit for. If Sam could track down creatures the way he did, be able to build a case from almost nothing, he would be able to piece together what Gabriel let slip and find out what Gabriel truly was.

It wasn't something Gabriel had ever wanted anyone to find out. He would have gone on as a pagan until Odin passed, perhaps even then he would have continued until Thor was gone and he the only one of the powerful trinity to remain. Maybe he would have picked up another name, another set of worshipers and carved himself into a different religion, protecting who he was once again. Now Gabriel didn't have a choice; it would soon be time for him to come clean, or as clean as he could. There was no way he was going to outright admit to what he was. Sam wasn't ready to hear angels were real, and Gabriel wasn't ready to admit to being one.

While his vessel didn't process like a regular human would, even Gabriel could feel the chill in the air against his bare skin. Looking up at Sam who had his arms straining to keep them together against the wall, Gabriel smiled at the hunter before pressing their lips together. If he was going to have to explain things, and be honest about it, he wanted to feel the press of his mate against him before he did. Should things have been up to him, Gabriel would have another round with the hunter, maybe one a bit softer to show how he felt for the man. Things rarely seemed to go his way though as there was loud banging against the door he had locked from inside.

The banging made Sam jerk out of the kiss, his head pulling back to look at Gabriel. While he had been expecting the embarrassment in that gaze Gabriel was both startled and hurt by the horror there. Closing his own eyes, Gabriel looked away. Of course, Sam was horrified, it was something Gabriel would have felt in the same situation, but it hurt. He didn't regret what they did, not for a second did he regret having Sam claim him, to mark him up as if he was something worth claiming. Slowly Gabriel lowered his legs from around Sam's waist. They had been wrapped around the man too long, and while he could have easily healed the numbness Gabriel couldn't really focus on one area of healing without his grace wanting to heal the rest.

Dealing with the tingly feeling as his legs started to regain feeling Gabriel winced before looking up at Sam who still hadn't said anything since they came. Gabriel wasn't expecting the soft smile he received, nor the gentle hand that brushed away a lock of hair behind his ear. It was a tender gesture; one Gabriel was unaccustomed to receiving. Leaning into the touch felt nice, it also exposed his bitten neck to Sam.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Loki, I don't know what came over me… but when I saw you there with your clothes all rumpled I couldn't stop myself. All I could think about was someone else touching you and needing you to know you're were mine. I didn't… I didn't mean to hurt you, not really, I just wanted to make sure you would be marked as mine, claimed as mine… I didn't…"

Placing a soft kiss on the hand which was still stroking the side of his face, Gabriel smiled at the flustered hunter. "I told you before Kiddo, you can't hurt me, not really. You're fine Sammy… although if you were into exhibitionism you should have told me before hand. Honestly though? I wasn't with anyone else, I swear I have no intentions of being unfaithful to you Sam. My clothes were in disarray because I was playing with Xander when I got your prayer."

Sam blushed then a deep red Gabriel wanted nothing more than to trace with his tongue. Knowing Sam's family was waiting on the other side of the door was the only thing that stopped him. Pressing his lips against Sam's, Gabriel snapped his fingers and dressed himself as well as straightened out Sam's clothes. Another snap before the broke away from Sam and had the room cleared out from the smell of sex, their bodies were cleaned although he was careful to leave Sam's seed inside him. Pulling back from the kiss, Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him to the chair the taller of the two had jumped out of earlier.

"Loki… what's happening between us?"

Sighing, Gabriel waited until Sam was sitting down before he opened his mouth to answer. Apparently, he underestimated the two on the other side of the door as with a click the lock was undone and the two came storming into the room. Quirking an eyebrow, Gabriel looked at the hunters. Dean was just as he remembered him, although there was a blush on his face, probably from what he had heard coming from the room. Even though he could see how concerned Dean was for Sam, the instant Dean saw his younger brother, it was like all the rage he had been filled with simply evaporated. The older hunter however was holding a shotgun in his hand with the intention of using it. His eyes were glaring at Gabriel in a way that made Gabriel very happy the older man was merely human.

"What the fuck did you do to my boy?!"

While normally Gabriel would have come back with a sarcastic remark, Sam's hand reaching for his own made him shut his mouth. Looking at the youngest hunter Gabriel sighed before squeezing the hand back lightly. Looking at the older hunter he couldn't stop the smirk from spreading along his face, while he would try to keep himself in check Gabriel would not be intimidated by some human hunter.

"I thought I was here for a reason Bucko? I think we should do whatever it is you kids came up with before playing twenty questions, don't you?"

Without waiting for a response, Gabriel let go of Sam's hand and had to fight down the urge to crawl into the others lap. Instead of moving towards Sam like his grace demanded, Gabriel squared his shoulders and faced the two at the door. If he was going to do this, if he was going to expose himself to hunters in a way he had never allowed before, then he was going to do so with his pride intact.

"Well? What are you waiting for, a written invitation? I'm sure there's somewhere you need me to be to work this mojo so let's get started."

Not pausing even when the older one raised his gun to level with his head, Gabriel kept his smirk on his face and walked towards the two. He could hear the shout behind him as Gabriel tried to calm the old man down, but Gabriel ignored it. Instead of snapping the gun away, he moved slightly quicker than he normally would and reached out, his hand over the barrel of the gun. With only the tip of his fingers holding metal he bent it upwards so it was pointing at the ceiling. The casual display of physical strength seemed to stop whatever Sam was saying behind him, the silence was deafening.

"You might want to try something not made by humans. While I'm not willing to tell you what can kill me I have no problem telling you what can't."

Brushing his way past the two at the doorway Gabriel walked into the next room. He heard the older man curse before Gabriel made his way to the middle of the next room. The ritual site was just beyond where he was standing, and looking at the floor Gabriel hummed as he took in the symbols. It seemed Sam took his suggestion to heart, this was all Old Norse, all markings of his adopted family, and it would be binding. While he didn't know the exact wording, they would be using, his freedom depended on how binding the actual ritual itself was. Gabriel could see the branches of mistletoe from here, along with what smelt like herbs were seated in the middle of the circle.

"So, you going to walk in or what?"

This time it was Dean who spoke, although there was a slight weariness which wasn't there before his power display. Standing from his crouched position, Gabriel turned back to the three he would be binding his honesty to. Instead of resting his gaze on Sam like he wanted, Gabriel instead locked eyes with Dean before speaking.

"You're going to have to perform the spell, it can't be Sam."

Keeping his gaze locked with Dean, Gabriel knew he had to speak to the brother and not Sam directly. He could feel the sting of hurt from the younger hunter and he wasn't sure how his grace would respond to the perceived rejection.

"I'll explain what I can once I'm under this bind so that you know that I'm speaking the truth, but I need you to trust me on this. While Sam can be added to the ritual as one of the four, he can't be the main one casting it… I don't know what it might do to him."

"Do to him? What have you done?"

Sighing Gabriel thought about laying it all there, about how he was feeling, about how his grace was reacting. Glancing at Sam had Gabriel changing his mind. The moose of a man was looking at Gabriel with a tinge of hurt and caution. Sam was worried about what he was going to say, feared what was going to come out of Gabriel's mouth, but at the same time Sam seemed to lean towards him. No, he would tell Sam about the bond, about how souls worked, about how his own kind worked, and how he thought it was changing them. Sam needed to hear those words, not Dean and not the old man.

"I didn't do anything, but him taking lead on this might and I'm not risking him. We clear?" About to step into the circle Gabriel stopped before entering the circle, ignoring the curse behind him he faced Sam. "You should know that performing ritual, especially one that is designed specifically for Loki is going to change me a bit. I told you I was something else before I become Loki, this is going to push every bit of my old self not essential to my survival down. When I step over this, I might be a bit... quirky."

"Meaning what exactly?"

Shrugging Gabriel stepped so that he was half inside the circle and half outside. As he did there was a glow in the runes which traveled to surround his leg.

"It means be careful… I wasn't called silver tongue for nothing."

Stepping fully into the circle Gabriel could feel a part of himself fade away into the back of his mind. Like a switch had been flicked he could feel the moment Gabriel stopped, and Loki took over. While it wasn't exactly split personalities it was close enough, and while he was both right then Loki was well and truly a god. Shrugging as his wings seemed to shudder against the grace being pushed back to make room for pagan magic, Loki sauntered to the middle of the circle where the herbs were set up. Picking them up one by one he smirked at the mistletoe before turning to the three behind him.

"Well well well, three hunters summoning little ol' me… I thought that went out of practice in the last century. So, tell me what does a moose, bear and squirrel want with a god?"

With a snap of his fingers Loki summoned a long lounge chair. While the circle stopped him from using his magic against those who summoned him, it did nothing for using magic for himself. Flopping down on the leather, Loki laid down on his side with one leg bent. His head resting on his palm, Loki rested his other hand on his raised knee, his eyes glancing over the three humans. Instead of the elder it was the squirrel who stepped forward, his head held high as he tried to stare Loki down. Smirking, Loki couldn't help but wave his hand slightly in a twist to gesture the man to speak.

"This was your idea, you said to find a ritual so we could bind you to honesty. Well here we are so are you going to keep your word or are you just another monster?"

While Gabriel would have jumped at the chance to do this for Sam, for his mate, Loki wasn't about to give something for free. Looking at the tall man Loki could see the appeal, but if he was going to bind himself to anyone for anything he wanted something out of the deal. The thing was he didn't deal with souls, and his normal payment of blood didn't appeal to him either. If he wanted sex he was certain Sam would be willing to give him that, but this was Dean's show and while pretty, Dean wasn't really Loki's type. Tilting his head slightly Loki wondered what he could want from the older of the two brothers.

The eldest of the two brothers.

The righteous man.

The one to break the first seal.

But what if he didn't have to? What if Loki took the choice from him? Ignoring the growing silence, Loki pondered on the thought for a few moments. His grace was bound to Sam, would be for the rest of his existence… but without Sam's soul binding itself to him Sam could still be used as a vessel. The easiest solution would be to complete the bond, but without knowing if it would harm the hunter it wasn't something he wanted to consider. This could work though, if Dean was bound against selling his soul than he would never be dragged to Hell.

No Hell, no breaking, no Apocalypse.

"Loki?"

The tone was hesitant, afraid and yet angry, and saddened at the same time. Loki couldn't look at Sam then, not with that tone and not without breaking his concentration with Dean. This could work, it could really and honestly work or at least buy them some time. Locking eyes with the elder Winchester Loki cocked his head to the side.

"You should know by now that magic, any magic really, but binding magic especially, doesn't come free. I'm going to need a drop of blood from each of you three to mix with my own to complete the bond, but I want something else out of the deal."

Sitting up from his lounging position, Loki stood and walked to the edge of the circle. Smirking he made sure to keep his arms open in a sign of peace he hoped they would pick up on.

"What could you possibly want from me?"

Deciding to have a bit of fun, Loki let his gaze run up and down Dean, obviously checking him out. He couldn't hold back the chuckle at the growl from Sam and the way Dean paled.

"Dude!"

"Oh, your face! That was priceless. No Dean-o as pretty as you are, you're not the Winchester I'm going to climb like a tree. What I want from you is a vow of your own, a vow for a vow, pretty even don't you think?"

"And what exactly is it you're gonna be vowing him to?"

Glancing at the gruff man, Loki smirked.

"I want you, Dean Winchester to vow and thus bind yourself to your word that you will never, and I mean never, offer your soul in exchange for anything. When you die, your soul goes where it's suppose to naturally, no deals with demons, no storming the gates of Hell, not for anything. If you break the vow, if you make a deal, if you sell your soul to anyone then every human in this little binding dies, and their souls come to me."

"What?!"

Ignoring Sam, Loki was thankful his grace was so pushed down inside this circle as he was certain it would have been aching at the tone the hunter used. Instead Loki locked eyes with Dean, his hands resting at his sides.

"All you have to do is not sell your soul, that's it. You can make any other deal if you like, find a demon who wants a roll in the hay instead of your soul? Go for it. All I'm asking is you don't sell your soul. You do this, and I will bound myself to you three and another of your choosing in the future to where I will only speak the truth as far as I know it. That's all, I'll even throw in a promise, to explain why I want this as my payment after the deal is complete."

Walking slowly back to the center of the circle, Loki picked up the wooden bowl which had been placed there for this purpose. Picking up the silver dagger he sliced deep into his palm, the blood poured from his palm and into the bowl while Loki used his other hand to add the herbs. Stirring the herbs in as his hand started to heal Loki walked back to the edge of the circle holding the bowl in one hand and the dagger in the other.

"What happens if you break your end of the deal?" asked Dean.

Shrugging his shoulders, Loki passed the dagger over to Dean who accepted it but didn't add his blood until the final bit of bargaining was done. Smart man.

"I willingly break my end of the deal and I lose my magic."

While it wasn't his death it was all he was willing to offer. Loki had no intentions of breaking the deal, but if he ever had to then he could and would still survive. Being Loki for so long though, his magic was as much a part of him as his grace. If he had to travel down that road than Loki was certain he would not be unscathed. Getting a slight nod from Dean as he sliced his thumb and let a few drops fall into the bowl he started to recite the spell. Dean's words were a bit choppy, not used to the change in tongue but he got through without any problems and Loki could feel it the second the magic took hold.

Moaning at the sensation flowing through him, Loki allowed his eyes to close for a second while the magic rushed through him. From the gasps around him, Loki could guess the light was flowing over Dean as well. Once Dean was released from the spell he moved the bowl and knife to Bobby who added his blood and then finally to Sam. Loki was nervous on how the bond would react to Sam, if it would see it as a threat. Thankfully he could feel when Sam's blood was added and there were no negative side effects, only adding to the warming sensation inside him.

Once Sam was added, Loki glowed a bright white for a moment before it faded. Opening his eyes, he saw Dean held the bowl again with their mixed blood. Sending a burst of magic to the bowl the blood disappeared leaving the wooden bowl empty without so much as a stain on it. Giving the magic a minute or two to take complete root, Loki flexed what little amount of grace he could inside of the circle to see if it was enough to override the spell. The moment his grace made contact Loki sighed and shook his head, this was just as binding as he hoped it wouldn't be. Unless he wanted to lose his pagan magic, he would have to stick to the truth with the three hunters.

"What the fuck did you do to my brother?"

It appeared now that Dean knew he couldn't lie he wasn't about to waste time. Sighing, Loki stepped outside of the circle, it wasn't made to trap him. The second he was outside of the circle Loki could feel his grace once more filling every part of him, sadly he also felt it work to ease any injuries he may have gotten while it wasn't able to heal. Snapping his fingers, Loki easily removed the plug inside of him and cleaned his skin while the bruises and bites were erased from his body. Glancing at Sam, Loki gave him a half smile before the marks on his neck disappeared. Once more Loki and Gabriel merged to make him whole, and with another snap Gabriel erased the runes on the floor as well to protect his grace.

"You might believe me this time, but I didn't do anything to cause this. This bond? It goes both ways Bucko."

"Bond? What kind of bond?"

Sighing, Gabriel snapped his fingers again so there were several pieces of furniture they could relax on around the room. They must have moved whatever was there before to make sure nothing got in the way of the ritual. Without a backward glance, Gabriel flopped down on the sofa, the cushions letting out a whoosh of air when his body made contact. Dean and Bobby took a seat on either chair and while there was a small chair off to the side, Sam easily lifted Gabriel's legs before sitting down and placing them on his lap.

Smiling, Gabriel looked up at Sam, his smile faltering slightly as he still saw the hesitation and fear lurking there. Sitting up, Gabriel reached forward and took one of Sam's hands in his, his grace giving a thrill of pleasure as he wasn't pushed away. This time while he smiled at Sam Gabriel got a small smile in return.

"I wanted to explain this to you alone, but I get the feeling big brother isn't going to let us have some time to ourselves. I also get the feeling transporting them out of the room once has already put me on their shit-list… are you okay with this being explained now?"

Gabriel made sure to keep his tone soft, if Sam made any motion to him he wasn't okay with the other two being there then Gabriel would make them leave. He had promised his honesty, however he never said he would be forced to answer their questions. He could refuse to answer, could dumb things down, could omit the truth if he wanted, so long as Gabriel didn't outright lie he would be in the clear. Sam deserved an answer, as much of one as he could give. Seeing Sam nod, Gabriel brought the hand he had been holding to his mouth and kissed it lightly, enjoying the blush spreading along Sam's cheeks.

"You change your mind at any time and you let me know."

Facing the other two, Gabriel intertwined his fingers with Sam's longer ones. Sighing heavily, Gabriel ran his other hand through his hair, trying to gather the words to explain something he didn't fully understand himself.

"I don't really know how to explain this, I don't even fully understand it myself so… bear with me?"

Getting a grunt from Bobby, Gabriel noticed while Dean was getting impatient, he seemed to understand Gabriel was at least trying and therefore would give him the benefit of the doubt. Bringing Sam's hand to his lap, Gabriel started to play with the long fingers, using them absently as a distraction to what he was going to say.

"I should start by explaining that as far as I know it this has never happened before. My kind, not the pagan, but what I was before… when we choose a mate will bond with them. Our bonding is absolute; we combine our very selves during the bonding, leaving a piece of our being behind in the other. Humans have a way of doing this as well, I believe you've heard of soulmates? Of people loving each other so deeply their very soul recognizes it?"

"So, you're saying what, the two of you are soulmates?"

Shaking his head at Bobby's question, Gabriel bit his lip before trying again. This was why he didn't get involved, there were always so many questions he couldn't answer, and now he didn't have the benefit of being able to lie his way out of it.

"No. I'm not doing a very good job of this… let me try again? When one of my kind finds their mate, when they combine their… essence we'll say? They for that moment in time become one being. You see the problem I've had in the past was in that moment they also combine their power. If one of them is stronger than the other it would cause the weaker of the two to be swamped by power… it would cause the weaker one to lose themselves, wanting to be protected by the more powerful; and what was supposed to be a union of two would become one basically encasing the other."

"Once the bonding was complete… the weaker would lose a part of themselves in the bonding. The more powerful of the two would be more dominate, more controlling, and while we would never harm our mate… the weaker would be completely subservient to the more powerful of them. It's because of this I never mated before. Even amongst my own kind I'm extremely powerful, enough so there are only three others at the same power-level as me."

Seeing that they were about to ask another question, Gabriel hurried on. He had a feeling they would be coming back to his power level again soon, but it would have to wait. If he didn't get this out now Gabriel was afraid he would push it off again and again. Sam deserved to know.

"When I left home, I knew I was giving up finding a mate. While weaker by a great deal, and they knew what would happen during the bonding, if it got too lonely I knew any of my kind besides the other three would jump at the chance to bond with me. Pagans don't bond, in case you're wondering… they marry much the same way as you humans do, it's fragile and it normally doesn't take long before they find the bed of another."

Feeling Sam grip his hand tightly, Gabriel looked up at the taller man. Sam was trying to hold himself back, but Gabriel could see how angry he was at the very mention of another's bed.

"Sammy, I'm not fully pagan… my pagan magic is much weaker, while I'm not ready to tell you what I am I can promise you monogamy is a big deal with us. I'm yours I promise."

Seeing the anger start to leave a bit from Sam, Gabriel fought the urge to kiss the hunter. While he was certain the other two wouldn't stop him, Gabriel didn't know if he would be able to stop Sam before he lost control again. Instead of kissing the mouth that seemed to be made for such an occasion, Gabriel continued from where he had left off.

"Human souls don't have to worry about one being more powerful than the other. When two people who are soulmates come together it's a beautiful thing. While you guys don't get the perks that we do, a soulmate bonding is no less sacred. You see when we bond, the sliver of essence that stays with the other? It means we can always feel our bonded, can always know if they are safe and happy… we can mentally communicate with the other as well, share our power if one is harmed. Everything we are becomes about our mate; while we can still function normally, and we do, our mates are never really away from our minds, never really gone."

"Some humans feel this to some degree. Some when they find their soulmate can tell when something is wrong, can feel it when the other is hurt. It's common for soulmates, when one dies the other does as well or they become a shell of who they once were. Love like that isn't something to mess around with, and every bit of the human bond is done subconsciously, which makes it even more beautiful."

While he wanted to stop, to leave things there Gabriel knew he couldn't. The older two had been good so far to let him speak, to understand what he was saying, and he couldn't leave things as they were. Once more beginning to play with Sam's hand, Gabriel wondered if they were going to remain so understanding once Sam came into this.

"From what I can feel, Sam's soul seems to think I'm his soulmate and my essence thinks the same of him. I figure him acting out of character is in fact his soul trying to prove it's just as powerful as my essence… and my essence burns when we're apart because the weaker of the bond could be in danger and without us being actually bonded I wouldn't be able to lend my power."

Letting go of Sam's hand, Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and walked around to lean against the wall beside a window. Looking outside Gabriel could see the sun still shinning brightly and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them, glad Sam hadn't followed as he spit the next words out of his mouth.

"I have no way of knowing if it will hurt you Sam, I ache to bond us together… but your soul while bright and powerful in its own right is nothing compared to me. You don't have the power needed to bond, don't have the same essence as my own would look for in a bonding… and I? I have no soul to offer yours."

"Loki…"

Not turning back even at the broken way Sam said his name, Gabriel closed his eyes and held himself a bit tighter. Oh, how he wished he knew what bonding would do to the human, if he would be able to even complete it. Gabriel would never risk Sam that way, would never do anything to smother Sam's wonderful light. While it was pushed a bit by the bond, Gabriel knew even without the bond all it would have taken was time before he could admit it naturally. He loved Sam, loved him in a way he had never loved another and he would never risk his hunter being hurt. Even if it killed him, and from the constant burning of his grace it just might.

Feeling long arms wrap around him from behind, and his back being pressed against a firm chest Gabriel sighed. Yes, he would make sure to keep this human safe even from his grace. Sam would be able to survive without the bond, maybe Sam would be a bit more dominate than he typically would, maybe he would worry a bit more and need to be reassured by Gabriel often…. But he could do that so long as Sam was safe. He could never smother out Sam's vibrant soul, never.

And he wouldn't let anyone else do so either.

P.S. If you want to keep up to date on my writing add me to Facebook, Tumbler or Twitter as CrowNoYami ;-) Also, if you want to see what I'm reading (I always review so you know what you're getting into) I'm on Goodreads as well, same name as always.