Warnings: Sex, frotting, angst.
Chapter 17
Having expected to be teleported this time, Sam was better prepared for the sensation. It was strange to be one place and then instantly be in another. There was no actual landing as far as Sam could tell as he was in the exact same position as he had been. Instead of looking around, Sam pressed his lips back to Loki's. The god didn't hesitate in responding to him, seemingly happy to have their lips pressed together, not asking for more. Unlike last time, Sam didn't feel any need to take control. It appeared every time their lips touched he wanted to claim more, to take more from Loki, this time Sam merely wanted to hold him for a while. Pulling back, Sam smiled at the man before him.
"So, we have a whole week to ourselves, do you have any ideas on what we should do with our time?"
Loki was the one to kiss him Sam time, a gentle kiss like the one before it. They must have stood there for ten minutes simply exchanging kisses and holding each other, neither rushed for anything. When they pulled away Sam wasn't sure what had changed in their dynamic, but he felt better right then with Loki, then he could ever remember. Maybe it was this bond, maybe it was thrusting feelings upon him, but Sam felt like right then he couldn't ask for anything more.
"I suppose I should probably give you the tour, yeah?"
With that Loki pulled away only enough to grasp Sam's hand before pulling him down the hallway. The room they had been in before was an entranceway, a door which probably lead outside behind them which lead into a wide-open space. Nothing was closed off in the room, all the rooms were divided by wide open doorways. From where he was standing Sam could see the into the kitchen and living room, there was a stairway down the hall along with a couple doorways he couldn't quite see in.
"Well over there is the kitchen, it's fully stocked so eat anything you like. The living room has Netflix and any gaming systems you can think of. I have a stack of movies if you want to watch something, normally I keep it on as background noise. Down the hall there's a bathroom, and have I library that will knock your socks off."
While he was explaining, Loki pulled Sam along so he could see fully into each room Loki was describing. Everything was top of the line, not that Sam was expecting anything different from the man. Glancing at the stairwell Sam wondered if they were going to explore upstairs before he was pulled along by an excited god. The living room opened to the backyard which was huge, no other houses in sight and Sam wondered if they even had any. The moment the door was opened a ball of fur came running towards them, which Loki was happy to bend down to pick up.
"I know, I know… but I brought Sam back with me, you remember him, right?"
Sam looked at the dog who was watching him cautiously, his large brown eyes looking at Sam hesitantly. Smiling at the pup, Sam made sure to keep his tone soft and even, his arm wrapping around Loki's waist so the god could better support the dog.
"Aren't you a good boy? Have fun playing outside?"
Maybe it was a bit silly to talk to the dog like he was a person, but Loki seemed to do the same thing. Xander looked at Sam for a while, just looking while Loki held him not saying a word. Finally, after what felt like forever the pup moved his head ever so slightly so he could sniff at Sam, his little nose twitching for a moment before he yelped. Seeing it as an invitation, Sam raised the hand which wasn't around Loki t bring it up slowly towards the animal. Xander didn't bite or growl as he moved closer. Sam moved until he had his hand just before the small animals' mouth. Very slowly Xander sniffed again before batting Sam's hand with his nose, and ever so gently Sam ran his fingers through the soft fur of his snout.
The bright smile on Loki's face encouraged Sam to pet Xander. There was a slight hesitation in the dog, but he didn't make any sign of being uncomfortable while Sam pet him in earnest. After a few minutes of the three standing there the pup seemed to get restless as he squirmed in Loki's arms. The moment his three paws hit the ground Xander was running for the door again, ignoring the two as he went into the yard. Loki watched the pup for a moment before looking up at him and Sam's breath caught in his throat at the expression on Loki's face. There was something soft there, something warm that caused Sam's knees to buckle for a split second.
"My pup seems to be growing fond of you."
Smiling down at him, Sam moved down as if to kiss Loki but kept their mouths just slightly apart. This was new ground for them, nothing rushed or animalistic in their movements, and he wanted to savior it. Breathing in the same air as the god, although he wasn't sure if Loki even needed to breathe, Sam whispered against Loki's lips.
"That's good because I'm growing more than fond for his owner."
"More than fond?"
There was a slight hesitation to Loki's voice, something vulnerable. Not wanting to ruin the moment Sam kissed him lightly, barely brushing their lips together before whispering again.
"Yeah, definitely more than fond."
"Sam…"
Hearing his name being spoken that way, just barely a whisper made Sam close the distance. There was so much warmth in Loki now, so much emotion Sam didn't know how he managed to breathe without it. How did he manage each day without this god beside him? How did he get out of bed without Loki being his reason? Oh, he knew it had only been a few days, but unlike what Dean thought this wasn't the magic of the bond. Sam had felt the same way, the same intensity, when he finally started dating Jess. In less than a week he had wanted to ask her to move in together, had wanted the white picket fence and two point five kids with her in only a few dates. Sam wasn't like Dean, he wanted to be domestic, wanted a family and now he wanted it with the god he was holding in his arms.
Sam had always fell fast and fell hard.
This time though, Sam knew Loki felt it just as fast and just as hard.
"Sam…"
Loki's voice was hesitant, like he didn't want to finish his thought and Sam didn't want him to either. Shaking his head slightly Sam pressed his lips against the gods again. They would need to talk, had even come here so they could talk alone, but not right then. Right then Sam wanted to hold his lover, wanted to make sure they were okay, that everything was alright. They could deal with the secrets tomorrow, could figure out what they were going to do tomorrow. Tonight, was about them, was about connecting again, not as they did in Bobby's study, no that was a claim not a connection.
"Shh... we can talk tomorrow, yeah?"
Instead of a verbal response, Sam found a hand on the back of his neck pulling him down to a welcome pair of lips. This time there was bit more heat, more passion than the ones before, but no real drive. It was soft in its own way and Sam wanted to make sure it stayed that way this time. Holding Loki against him, Sam moved them slowly while keeping as much contact possible. Slowly they would break apart to come back together again while making their way up the stair way. It was a bit tricky to maneuver without miss stepping, but Sam didn't mind in the least.
Before too long Sam found himself in what must be the master bedroom, the whole room was softer than Sam was expecting from the other man. He had expected a room bright and full of life, instead it was warmer, earthy almost in its design. The only thing that didn't surprise him was the giant bed in the middle of the room. It was easily larger than any king-size bed Sam had ever slept in, and for the first time in a long while Sam thought that he might be able to fit comfortably. He only had a minute to look around before he was once again pulled into a kiss, this one holding more heat than the last.
Maneuvering around the room, Sam eventually pushed Loki down on the bed, smiling at the small bounce the man made. Still standing while Loki wiggled so he was laying down properly on the bed, Sam wondered how he got so lucky. While he knew it was ridicules, he could understand now looking at the man, still fully clothed minus his shoes, how so many had worshiped him. There was something about him, something that drew your gaze in and made you want to do anything for him. Toeing off his shoes, Sam crawled on the bed to hover above the god. Leaning on one forearm Sam easily balanced his weight to trace his other hand down Loki's chest.
"I'm so glad that we caught that case, I don't think I deserve it, but I'm so glad you decided to look for us regardless of the reasons why."
"Sam…"
Shaking his head again, Sam kissed Loki to make sure that he didn't continue his thought. Whatever secrets the other was keeping didn't matter, what Loki was didn't matter. Loki wasn't going to hurt him, wasn't one of the many monsters they had hunted down, this was a god, a god who chose for some reason to be with Sam.
"I know Loki, I know… but I just wanted you to know."
Locking eyes with the golden ones below him, Sam placed soft kisses along Loki's jawline. Making sure their bodies were pressed tightly together, Sam ran his hand to Loki's waist, holding his hip with his thumb slipping under Loki's shirt and rubbing the bare skin gently.
"I know there's still so much I don't know, and I get it… I do, but I just… I wanted you to know regardless of all that I'm so very glad I have you. We can deal with everything else, we'll figure something out… but I feel like so long as I have you it will be alright… so do I have you Loki? For right now, do I have you?"
While he was speaking, Sam made sure to continue kissing Loki everywhere he could reach. His hand remained where it was, not pressing for anything, just keeping them close. Trailing his kisses down Loki's neck, Sam's breath made warm puffs of air caress Loki's ear, causing the body below his to shudder lightly.
"Sam…"
It was the same tone as before, like Loki was trying to hold back, like he was scared. Keeping his movements slow, Sam pressed kisses along the collar of Loki's shirt before licking lightly at the skin. His hand moved up slowly, pushing the shirt up Sam caressed the revealed skin softly. This wasn't something he wanted to rush, Sam wanted to make sure although he couldn't say the words that Loki knew he was so vary cared for.
"You said this bond between your kind consumes the weaker… I get that you're trying to protect me Loki, and I'm so very thankful you're thinking of me… but I don't think its going to hurt me. I don't want you to hold back Loki, I don't like you keeping something so vital from me."
This time Sam wasn't expecting an answer and so flicked a pebbled nipple to cause a gasp instead. By then the shirt had been pushed up to Loki's armpits and Sam leaned back a bit more so that he could help Loki pull off the offending clothing. Now looking at the half naked man, Sam wasted no time before pressing his still feather light kisses down new skin. Loki shifted slightly so he was now running his fingers through Sam's hair while Sam moved. Licking at a nipple, Sam smiled at the light moan from the god, making sure to spend a bit of time alternating between licking and sucking on the nub before moving to the other.
"I've never felt so peaceful than when you're with me, when you're in the same room as me. I want this Loki, I know you're scared but I want nothing more than to let whatever this is between us grow. Stop holding back, please Loki, let me in."
There was a moment then, one he wasn't expecting where Sam could feel something brush against him. It wasn't physical, but he had been around enough of the supernatural to recognize when something else was touching him. While Sam didn't know what it was per say he did know where it was coming from, and so instead of tensing Sam relaxed as much as possible while moving to nibble along Loki's stomach line. The soft brush soon turned into a type of caress through him, warm and inviting.
"That's it… open up to me Loki, let me feel you."
A rush of warmth flowed through him, it was beautiful, powerful and consuming, and though Sam knew he should be afraid he only made sure to continue his kisses along the waistline of his lover. Opening the others' pants, Sam slowly pulled them down along with his boxers, kissing softly at each bit of skin. Sam avoided the straining erection and instead kissed and nipped Loki's thighs. Feeling the warmth increase, seeming to flood him, Sam took a moment to breathe before he pulled Loki's pants off the rest of the way. Having to lean back to throw off the pants, Sam kissed each foot of his lover before pulling off his own shirt and opening his pants, leaning back over his god.
"I can feel you, it's amazing Loki… I want you to keep going… whatever you're doing don't stop… do you need me to do anything?"
With quick movements, Sam pulled down his pants, struggling for a moment while he tried to stay pressed against Loki in case the warmth left. He didn't have to worry as it was steadily flowing into him, what Sam was assuming the 'essence' Loki spoke of earlier, was flowing into him. Once naked Sam pressed the two of them together, moaning of the feeling of their skin touching everywhere.
"N-No… I… I can't complete the bond… but like this? I can do this… just… when I say you have to… Sam you're gonna have to shut your eyes… please… when I say…"
Loki's voice was broken by soft moans as Sam began to rub them together, Loki easily spread his legs to allow for better contact. Kissing along Loki's collarbone, Sam ran his hand down the gods' side before grabbing his thigh and moving Loki's leg to wrap around his waist giving them a better angle. Pressing tightly together Sam moaned as their cocks pressed and rubbed against each other. Thrusting slowly, he made sure to keep his kisses soft even though he was now panting against the skin he was kissing. Sam could taste the beads of sweat starting to gather along Loki's skin and gave quick licks from time to time.
"Like this?"
Instead of answering verbally Sam watched as Loki's head bobbed positively. Secure Loki would keep the leg wrapped around him, Sam trailed his hand back around to grope the mans arse for a moment. The grip made Loki jump slightly which caused a wonderful twist to their pleasure and the warm feeling to burn. Groaning at the sensation, Sam leaned back enough that he could watch Loki's face as he thrust against him. The god had his eyes closed, his head tilted back against the pillow while he panted.
Bending down Sam pressed his lips against the others, shifting his weight to allow for his other hand to hold the two of their weeping erections together. The added friction caused them both to groan. While his hand was large it wasn't large enough to wrap around them both completely, but it was just enough to make sure while Sam moved his hips they moved together. If the moans coming from Loki were any indication it wouldn't be much longer before the god came, the warmth had begun to change as well. Instead of being merely warm it was burning inside Sam with pleasure, it was as though he could feel the Loki's pleasure along with his own.
It didn't take long before he heard Loki's breath begin to hitch, his grip on Sam's shoulder tightening while he tried to hold out. Having moved his head to pant against the others neck, Sam sped up his hand, groaning deeply while he tried to wait for Loki.
"Sam… now Sam… close your eyes… Sam!"
Just able to close his eyes before Loki screamed, Sam saw a flash of bright light behind his eyelids. The light wasn't the first thought on his mind however as in the warmth had a surge of pure power, one enough to trigger his own orgasm. For a moment, Sam thought he was going to pass out, the combination of pleasure of both his own and Loki's almost too much for his system. It was only the thought of crushing his lover which cause Sam to remain upright. Still, he didn't say anything for a while merely panted while holding himself above Loki. Both arms now holding him up, Sam stayed where he was, his eyes still closed while he came down from whatever it was Loki had been doing.
"Sam?"
Leaning up enough to look at Loki, Sam opened his eyes and smiled at the god. There was worry there, and while he understood where it was coming from, Sam felt it was unnecessary. Opening his mouth to say so Sam was surprised to notice he could feel the worry from the other man. Closing his mouth again, Sam closed his eyes for a moment and did a quick inventory of his body as he was prone to do when something felt off. There, in the back of his mind was the same warmth, the same 'essence' Loki had let loose. Looking at Loki again, Sam smiled.
"You're still there."
Watching Loki for a moment as the gods' head tilted slightly to the side in an adorable fashion, Sam pecked his lips. Knowing he would have to find something to clean them with before their release dried, Sam winced as he pulled away from Loki. Before he could get far Sam felt a pair of strong arms hold him back against an equally strong body. Shifting so they were both on their sides, Sam chucked slightly.
"I need to clean us up a bit, I was going to be right back."
Instead of letting him up though Loki snapped his fingers and in an instant their skin was clean again and the blanket which had been under them was now covering them. Wrapping an arm around Loki, Sam pulled him in close, easily twining their legs together like he had been laying like this all his life.
"What did you mean by I'm still there, where was going to go?"
Running a hand through Loki's hair, Sam smiled while trailing his hand down the gods back, enjoying simply touching the others skin. The presence inside of his mind wasn't something he was worried about, if Sam was being honest with himself it calmed him greatly. This would let him know if Loki needed him, if something was wrong. As far as Sam was concerned it put them on even footing considering whatever tracking spell the other had put on him earlier.
"Your warmth, it's still with me in the back of my mind. It's letting me feel you, I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but its like there's a piece of you still with me."
Seeing Loki's eyes widen made Sam hesitate slightly before he continued. While he felt that this was a positive thing, Loki had not held any punches when explaining how consuming the bond could be, and it was easy to tell the god was terrified of it.
"It's not trying to do anything Loki, seriously it's not trying to harm me or take over or consume me… it's just there, letting me know you're okay. I think it's kind of acting like the spell you put on me, I swear it's not trying to hurt me… just calm down, okay?"
"Sam, if my gr-essence is still inside you then I can't get it back. I didn't… I didn't mean to leave a piece in you."
Seeing Loki was starting to work himself into a panic, Sam pressed so Loki's head was laying against his chest and resting his head on Loki's. Rubbing Loki's back softly, Sam made sure to keep his voice soft and even while speaking.
"It's okay Loki… like I said we'll figure this out. You said the bond was something completely new, yeah? Maybe this is a part of it, another step. It doesn't feel threatening in any way, like I said it's not trying to take control or change me or anything. Please don't worry about this, it feels good, if anything it's keeping me calmer, I like knowing you're alright. If it changes, if anything feels off I will let you know… but right now I can't see this as anything but a good thing."
"Sam… if this bond completes… even if by some miracle, it doesn't take away your will… I don't think you really understand. We've only known each other for a few days… bonds like this? It's forever, like until the world is destroyed and maybe even beyond that. I'm immortal, and the bond will make you immortal too… while I'm not invincible there are very few things that can kill me. The way I see it if the bond completes it either goes one of two ways; either you remain human but stop ageing… or the other, where you remain mostly human, but my essence flows through you the same as it does me. If that happens Sam, if you're able to absorb and use that power through your body than you will only be vulnerable by the same things I am." Explained Loki, taking a breath before he continued.
"I know that you want this bond, I don't understand why, but you do and to tell you the truth I want it too… but there's just so much more to think about than if we want to be together or not. You would be immortal, literally outliving humanity. I just… I don't want you to accept this bond because you feel you should or because it's pushing you. Forever isn't just a word to me Sam, it's a reality. I don't want you to regret it, if we do this someday, I don't want you to regret it later down the line when all your friends and family are gone… when I'm all you have left, because I think… if you regretted it then… I don't know if I would be able to…"
Loki didn't have a chance to finish his sentence as Sam pulled back and bent down to press their lips together. Pulling away Sam cupped Loki's face gently, making sure that he was looking into watery golden eyes while he spoke.
"Loki, I can't promise you that I won't have regrets, that I won't think of 'what if's', but if we do this, if we complete the bond… I can promise I will never regret you. You're right, I don't really understand the concept of forever, not in the same way you do, but I'm willing to try. We can keep going around in circles until the end of time about what might happen, about how I might feel down the road… but Loki, that's just going to hurt us both. What I know for certain is I want you, in every way that I can have you. I want to learn everything I can about you, I want to wake up with you every morning and sleep with you every night. I may not understand immortality, but I do understand things like this happen for a reason, and I'm going to choose to believe it's a damn good one, because this? Having you right here feels like something I've been missing my entire life." Placing a peck on Loki's lips, Sam smiled softly.
"It may have only been a few days, but these few days I've been happier than I ever remember being. Yeah, there are going to be bad days, they happen… and there's going to be times where we're probably going to be at each others throats for one reason or another. You're probably going to get annoyed at some of my habits and vice versa, but that's a part of being with someone. So long as we keep working on it though? If we talk things out instead of letting it fester? Then I promise I'll be right here with you, that I'll stay with you. Because right here with you? This is exactly what I've always pictured Heaven to feel like… and I'm not willing to let it go, ever."
This time it was Loki who initiated the kiss, and though he didn't say anything else he didn't need to. Sam could still feel Loki's essence inside him which was broadcasting well what the other was feeling. Loki was so scared of what could happen, of Sam leaving, his loneliness was almost consuming, but Sam could see the glimmers of something else in there. Somehow Sam's words were being heard as slowly Sam could feel hope begin to take hold in the god. It was hope which Sam held onto and wanted to bring to life. It was hope that would eventually give way to another emotion. He just had to wait.
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