A.N. ~ Well I don't own these characters. First fanfic so if you are going to review, please be nice. Constructive criticism is definitely ok, being an ass isn't. That said... Please leave comments, good or bad, so that I know what readers think. Thanks
Ch. 2 What's my name
It had been a week. Seven long days and nights. Severus looked at the clock that hung above the fireplace. 1:00 am. Harry would start screaming soon. It had been this way every night. Severus ran his hand down his face. What was he doing wrong? Hadn't he tired Harry enough to sleep through the night? Given him a warm soothing bath? Filled his little belly? He would have used Legilimency if it would have been safe for the infant. There was something Severus was missing. He wished he would have spent more time with Lily, hell even James, to learn how to get Harry to sleep peacefully.
There was a soft *crack* behind Severus' armchair. "Tabby is sorry for disturbing Master of Potions, but Tabby is wondering if she can help with Little Master." The tiny house-elf squeaked. Dumbledore had assigned the tiny elf to Severus and Harry exclusively. She seemed to know when Severus was at his wits end. "Yes Tabby. If there is anything you can do to help him, please do so. I don't think either of us can keep this up for much longer." Severus told the elf. The house-elf seemed quite pleased with herself, having gotten the difficult Potions Master to hand over control so easily. Tabby quietly made her way to the sleeping infant. "Mmm. Tabby is sorry Little Master. Do not worry. Tabby will fix it." The tiny elf whispered to Harry as she placed both hands on either side of his head and closed her eyes. Severus watched as her face scrunched and she gasped. Pulling her tiny hands away from Harry and opening her eyes, Severus could see the elf was crying. "What is it? Is something wrong with him? Is Harry going to be alright?" Severus started panicking. House-elves did not cry unless their Master or Mistress was dying. "Tabby is sorry for worrying Master of Potions. Little Master is having very bad dreams. He seeing a woman screaming and falling. He sees a man lying on the floor, Tabby thinks he is dead. Little Master is dreaming of Master of Potions dying!" Tabby covered her eyes and cried.
Severus rubbed his face with both hands. He can't Obliviate Harry, he was far too young to have his mind altered in that way. Harry is having nightmares of the day his family died. Seemingly also scared that Severus was going to leave him as well. "Tabby. I cannot take those memories from him without damaging him. Is there a way for your Elf magic to soothe him? Or take the painful memory without harming him?" Severus tried to leave out the desperation from his voice. He failed miserably. Tabby the house-elf nodded "It is already done Master of Potions. Little Master shall sleep sound from now on." Severus could have kissed the elf. Instead he thanked her profusely and declared her the best elf he had ever met. Tabby left Severus in a daze, with a smile that covered her entire face.
Sleeping soundly didn't stop Harry from waking at 6:00 am sharp. He would sit in his crib, playing with toys until 6:30 am when Severus would be dressed and ready for the day. It was a routine now. Severus up at 5:45 am, ready at 6:30 am, get Harry changed and washed up, breakfast at 7:00 am. Harry would play in his highchair while Severus finished at the Head Table in the Great Hall. Everyday was the same, except today. "Good Morning Students!" Albus called as he stood from the table. "As you all know, the winter holidays are upon us and those of you going home will be leaving this afternoon. I want to wish those of you leaving the castle, a very Happy Holiday. To those that are staying over the break, I would like to inform you that while break is on, there is no curfew and Hogsmeade visits are at your leisure, as are meals. I'd also like to remind you that there will be a Supper Feast on Christmas Eve and one at Dinner Christmas Day. I'm sure all of you have plenty to do before the train leaves, so I'll leave you all to it." He sat down with a smile, looking at the excited faces of his students.
To be honest, Severus had completely forgotten about Christmas. He never celebrated anything before. Should he be doing it now, he wondered. It was a few weeks away and he hadn't the foggiest idea what one did to celebrate. Would Harry even understand or appreciate it? Most likely not. The more Severus thought about it, the more he convinced himself that Harry wouldn't care if their rooms were decorated or gifts under a tree. He wouldn't even know there was a holiday to celebrate. Mind made up to forego Christmas, Severus lifted Harry from his spot at the table and made his way to his office.
Harry sat happily on the floor of Severus' office, playing with Tabby. The house-elf was trying to teach him how to call upon her shall he have need of her. "Ta! Beebee!" Harry squealed. "Oh, you is so close Little Master. Tabby be needing Little Master to say her name to be hearing you." Tabby explained to the baby.
Severus gently remind the elf. "He is only 18 months old. You've done extraordinarily well. I've had Harry with me over a month and I can't get him to call me anything."
Seemingly listening to the conversation, Harry slowly stood and waddled his was over to Severus. When he stood next to the seated man and had his attention, Harry pointed a chubby little finger at Severus' face and exclaimed "Da!"
Speechless, Severus just stared at Harry's little face with his brilliant green eyes as Harry repeatedly called him "Da" as if to make a point.
The weeks went by easily and tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Severus sat in his favorite arm chair, Harry in his lap, reading a potions article aloud when his floo activated.
"Severus, are you there?" the familiar voice called from the fireplace.
"Yes Minerva. What can I do for you?" Severus replied.
"I'm coming to visit." She barely got out before stepping through the fire. McGonagall looked around Severus' living room with a frown. "Did you forget how to decorate? Where's the tree? I brought gifts for you and Harry."
"I didn't bother to decorate. You know I don't celebrate. Besides, Harry gets gifts quite frequently. He's missing nothing."
"Severus Snape, you know he would love to see all the lights on a tree. He may not understand it but he will remember what you do and more importantly don't do for him. Now, where do I put the gifts?" She knew Severus wouldn't let Harry have any negative feeling towards himself or Hogwarts.
Sliding Harry off his lap and onto the chair, Severus stood up. With a lazy wave of his wand he muttered the incantation that let the staff decorate the castle with all four house colors. Lights and ornaments floated in the air above their heads. Wreaths sporting red, blue, yellow and green ribbons attached themselves to the doors. And on the mantle hung two Christmas stockings the names Harry and Severus stitched on the front, already filled.
Without saying a word Severus pointed his wand at the far corner of the room. Minerva watched as a nice sized fir tree grew from the floor already covered in twinkling lights and red, blue, yellow and green ornaments.
Harry sat quietly in the arm chair and watched as their quarters were being decorated. The look of wonder and awe on Harry's face was not lost on Severus. He had watched Harry out of the corner of his eye. Grateful that Minerva felt she could speak freely to him, Severus turned to said witch raising his hand toward the new Christmas tree.
"Severus, this is wonderful!" McGonagall exclaimed as she headed to the tree to deposit her gifts. "Just look at his face. Harry is just precious. I know you feel like you're in this on your own Severus, but I want you to know that you are not alone. Anytime you need something, or just another adult, do come to me. If you need to get out, I'll gladly watch over Harry and I know for a fact that Hagrid world love a chance to spend time with him." McGonagall said, hoping Severus would take the help offered.
Severus sighed. He knew he could ask any of the staff to watch over Harry if he wanted to go out or simply have a few hours to himself. He didn't want to be one of those parents that doesn't know their child, who doesn't raise their child but pass them from person to person or leave them with a house-elf. He would feel far too guilty leaving Harry alone even though all the staff loved Harry and he seemed to love being passed around during staff meetings or during meals in the Great Hall. "I'll try to remember that Minerva, thank you. And for the gifts."
"You're welcome." She smiled and bent down to kiss the top of Harry's head before vanishing one again through the floo.
"I guess it couldn't hurt to see what the elves put in the stockings." Severus said looking at the little boy sitting in his armchair.
After opening the stockings and letting Harry play with his Christmas stocking, Severus had went back to reading the potions article. Glancing at the clock he realized it was only minutes until super. "Harry, let's go to super. We're going to be late as it is." Looking around the living room, Severus spotted Harry sitting in front of the Christmas tree with his Christmas stocking pulled onto his head. Reaching for his camera (that had mysteriously shown up on the kitchen counter one day) Severus quickly snapped a photo of the scene. Harry really was too precious.
Supper was an amazing Christmas Eve feast of Roasted Lamb, Braised Duck and Poached Salmon. Every side dish imaginable seemed to have been made as well. The desserts that followed the feast were even more grand than the feast itself. Even though there were only 27 students who stayed over the holiday break, the elves were not about to take it easy.
Once the pair had their fill and Harry had been passed around to all the adults, they said the good nights and headed to the dungeons .