Welcome back, sorry it's been a while, but I got a bit stuck. I figured it out, but these are the last two chapters for this story.

Ch. 5 A Feeling You Can't Say with Words

(CLARE)

I watch Fitz easily catch the guy and swing him into the wall. Fitz holds him by the throat and the guy looks terrified. In fact, I smell a change in the man, fear, I can smell his fear. Even from where I stand, I can tell Fitz has partially changed, wolf teeth are down, claws out. Fitz looks like he wants blood, actually I know he wants blood. Not sure how, but I do know he's out for blood. If I don't do something Fitz is going to kill this guy while I watch.

"Fitz stop," I call running over. Fitz either doesn't hear me or ignores me. "Fitz," I say in a firm but calm voice. I put my hand on his chest hoping the contact will break through. "Fitz, just get my purse back and let's call the cops. Don't kill him Fitz," I plead.

Fitz looks at me huffing out a breath, his hand relaxes but only enough to grab the guy by the shoulders and force his head into the brick wall. His intent is to render the man unconscious, and it works. The man's body drops to the ground like a dead weight and Fitz picks up my purse handing it to me. Then he gets out his phone and calls 911. He tells the operator that a man tried to take my purse and he knocked him out. A few minutes later the cops show up, and we tell them what happened. They're impressed that Fitz managed to knock the guy out, seeing as he's twice Fitz's size. Fitz tells them he's had martial arts training and they believe him.

"I wasn't exactly planning on that much excitement on our date," Fitz apologizes when we're back in the car. An ambulance was called for the man and after taking our statements and information the cops said we could go.

"It wasn't your fault, thanks for getting my purse back, and not killing the guy," I comment and Fitz smirks.

"Why don't we get some dessert from The Dot. We can eat it alone; I know the perfect place."

"That sounds wonderful," I grin. We drive to The Dot in silence, order dessert to go and get back in the car. Fitz drives us out to a road I'm not familiar with. He parks and opens the trunk getting out a blanket. He comes over opening my door and then takes my hand leading me down a trail. "How can you see where we're going?" I question.

"Let your wolf surface, you have incredible night vision," Fitz replies.

I try to change just my eyes, but I don't seem to change anything. I give up and let Fitz lead us. We end up in a clearing with a view of the city, it's gorgeous. Fitz spreads out the blanket and sits down, I sit next to him and look at the city lights as I eat.

"Would you have killed him?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.

Fitz releases a breath, setting his coffee cup down. "I might have, he hurt you, all my wolf saw was someone hurting you and my wolf wanted blood. It's part of the mate bond and being Alpha. I protect the pack, and wolves will kill to protect their mates."

"Does it always surface like that? In an instant when one of the pack is hurt or in danger? Can you communicate with your wolf?" I ask firing off questions rapidly as they enter my mind.

"When one of the pack, which now includes you, and even Drew, is hurt or in danger my wolf comes out. It's instinct, but as we are generally fairly solitary it's not usually an issue. We can usually control it, but often it becomes a fight between us and our wolf for control. We can communicate with our wolf, sometimes it's words and other times more emotions and feelings. It's hard to explain, you have to feel it for yourself, and you will, very soon you will start to feel it. If you'd like to come over tomorrow, I can help you begin to control the change and maybe help you begin to communicate with your wolf."

"I'd like that," I smile.

"Great, I'll pick you up in the morning, let's say ten?"

"Ten is good," I smile.

"In which case I think I had better get you home," Fitz comments. He stands up and extends his hand to me. He helps me up, we pick up our empty dessert boxes, and coffee cups, Fitz gets the blanket, and we go back to his car.

The drive to my house is silent, Fitz parks out front and walks me to the door. He gives me a tender kiss goodbye and I go inside. Mom asks how the date was and I respond with a smile before going up to my room. I set an alarm for eight and go to bed with so many thoughts on my mind.

When I wake up, I find Mom gone, she left a note that she is out with Glen all day. I eat breakfast and take a shower, by the time Fitz is here I'm ready. He takes me back to his house; we spend the first few hours in the yard as he attempts to help me control the change. I struggle to even change a part of me, I manage to partially change my hands and that's after nearly three hours.

"It will get easier Clare, it becomes second nature, no harder than lifting your hand or getting your lips to curl in a smile. You're trying too hard right now, thinking about it too much," Fitz tells me when I growl in frustration. Even the growl didn't sound wolf-like.

"I don't know how to not overthink, it's one of the things I'm best at," I reply and Fitz chuckles.

"Let's have some lunch and we'll work on communication," Fitz says.

He puts his hand on my lower back and escorts me into his house. We make sandwiches for lunch sitting at the kitchen counter to eat. After eating Fitz tries to show me how to communicate with my wolf, but this doesn't seem to work either. I think I hear some growls but that could easily be my own frustration.

"Maybe you didn't do it right when you tried to turn me, I can't do any of this. Maybe I'm not actually turning into a werewolf," I sigh leaning back against the sofa.

"If you weren't part of the pack you wouldn't have heard me in your head. The pack link doesn't work unless you are a werewolf. Anyway, you said you felt your senses were heightened right?"

"I guess so."

(FITZ)

"You're stressing about it too much Clare, you need to relax and let it go," I tell her.

"I'm not sure I know how to do that," she sighs.

My wolf is whimpering and howling, our mate is sad and frustrated and we want to make it better. I wrap her in my arm and kiss her lips gently. As soon as our lips touch and I feel the fire, I hear Clare, her wolf and the desire inside. I know just how to get her to stop thinking. I pick her up into my arms and she gasps, her arms going around my neck.

"I know just how to get you to relax," I grin.

She smiles, her cheeks flushing, she bites her lip but doesn't say no. In fact, her arms tighten around my neck as I go up to my room. I set Clare on my bed and take her sweater off, her lovely skin breaks into gooseflesh at the initial rush of cool air. Leaning down I begin kissing her neck while my hands caress her sumptuously silky skin to the clasp of her bra. I unhook her bra and she lifts her arms for me to slide it off, it leaves her body and I toss it behind me.

"Lie back," I command softly through the link.

She scoots back on the bed lying down, her eyes round with anticipation, her smile soft yet salacious. I take a moment to just admire the vision of beauty and sexiness displayed before me. Then I move in front of her, laying a trail of open mouth kisses along her abdomen as I open her jeans. I pull her jeans off with her socks and grin at the sight of her in nothing but black cotton panties, sexy and demure all at once just like Clare.

"You're not naked," she pouts through the link.

I smile, both that she wants me naked and that she used the link instead of words. It's working already, she's allowing herself to go by instinct and not think too much. I take off my t-shirt, then jeans, boxers and socks come off all at once. When my erection is freed, she bites her lip and I see the slightest change in her eyes. Hooking my fingers into her panties I rip them off, she gasps but her eyes glow with lust.

I pick her up, repositioning her on the bed so that she's propped against the pillows. Opening her legs, I get between them and lick her pussy lips open. Clare moans, her back arches and she grabs my hair. She tastes so sinfully sweet, I drink her juices hungrily, eagerly and soon she's at the brink of orgasm. Her body writhing and seeking my tongue, her moans become like desperate pleas for release. Moving one hand I gently touch her pleasure button and it sends her over the edge. She starts to tremble, my name dropping from her lips in exalted cries and breathless whispers. I slow my tongue as she rides out the orgasm, and when I withdraw, she makes the tiniest of whimpers.

"Make love to me," she requests through the link.

"Need another orgasm, do you?" I ask through the link while I kiss my way up her body.

"We need you," comes the reply from Clare and her wolf.

My wolf makes a satisfied growl in response as my lips attach to Clare's. Between our legs my cock finds her opening and makes entry. Clare moans, her wolf howling through the link. I know she's let go now, that she's going on instinct and communicating with her wolf. She even changes partially, her fangs descend a little scraping along my shoulder, her eyes change, a little fur appears on her nose and near her ears. To others it may seem grotesque but to me it's beautiful. It's her and her wolf, me and my wolf intertwined.

Then the mate link brings us to a place I didn't know existed. Somewhere in the link, in our head but out of it, in this world but out of it, our wolves find each other as our human bodies make love. While I thrust into Clare, my human lips kiss hers and my human arms hold her as close as possible, our wolves circle each other. Me black as a moonless midnight, Clare white as pure winter snow, my eyes dark, hers so light blue they are almost ghostly. Circling each other once, twice and then our muzzles meet in a greeting and it's as if my heart becomes whole. Lying down together, nuzzling and snuggling our wolves are satisfied and happy.

Meanwhile our human bodies are deep in connection and drawing close to another orgasm. Clare's hips buck, her legs wrap around me, her neck cranes back as she moans my name. I feel her core tighten, gripping my cock tightly as her body goes taut for just a moment and then she exhales as she cries out in orgasmic bliss. Unable to keep control any longer I release into her, moaning her name as my orgasm peaks. My body stills for just a moment, then I thrust slowly a few more times until we've both ridden out our orgasms. I pull out of her slowly, kissing her lips as I lie next to her and bring her into my arms.

"I know you were in communication with your wolf, and at least some kind of control," I remark, kissing her shoulder as she nuzzles into my arms.

"Once I stopped thinking it just kind of happened," she replies in a sleepy and gratified voice. I smile and hold her in my arms for many long silent minutes. "I don't want to go home," she comments, breaking the silence.

"Then don't, stay the night. We'll have dinner and we can run later tonight. If you don't think you can change fully, we can just do this again," I remark.

She doesn't reply but she does turn her head and take my lips. I take that as a yes.

(CLARE)

As soon as I arrive at school on Tuesday morning I sniff the air, and immediately I know that Fitz and the others are here. I spent my entire weekend with Fitz, even staying the night on Saturday, I lied to my mom of course. I wasn't able to completely turn and run in wolf form with him that night, but we did make love again.

The experience of making love with Fitz was incredible, like nothing else I've ever felt. I was in bed with him physically, mentally and emotionally, and yet, somehow also mentally, physically and emotionally my wolf was somewhere else with his wolf. Our wolves being sweet and intimate, and loving, while our human selves were wrapped in all the emotions and sensations of making love.

I'd practiced using my heightened senses and was pretty good at it now. I didn't want to leave Fitz when I went home last night, but it did give me a chance to practice using my senses without Fitz coaching me. I was even able to communicate with my wolf, which was interesting. She was a piece of me, in some ways like that internal voice everyone has, but in many ways different. First of all, I could see my wolf, there were times I could actually see her padding around in that world where she existed both in me and outside of me. Rarely was communication in the form of words, and I hadn't heard a full sentence from her yet. We did communicate though, more with feelings and sort of unspoken demands. It was odd and something I was still getting used to.

When I walk into school, I see Drew and Bianca in the hall and wave to them. Drew asked Bianca to be his girlfriend Saturday night, Bianca was very happy about being official with him. Fitz and I still were not official, not in human high school terms anyway. He had marked me though and even I could feel the mate bond, especially when we were making love.

"Hello Beautiful," Fitz says from my side. His arms go around me, and he runs his nose along my neck before stealing my lips in a gentle kiss.

I smile and nuzzle into him when he breaks the kiss. When not in class I'm with Fitz, it was like this yesterday too. I wanted to be around him, was always happier when I was near him. Fitz says it's the mate bond, the yearning to be so close at pretty much all times. I want to go with Fitz after school, but after fourth period I find a text from Mom asking me to come home right after school.

"What's wrong?" Fitz asks when he sees my face.

"Mom is asking me to come right home, she never does, something must be wrong," I tell him as we walk to our lockers.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Fitz questions.

"You have no idea how badly, but Mom doesn't really know about you. I'll call you later," I tell him.

He cups my chin and kisses me gently; he still walks with me to my locker and walks me to my car. He kisses me again at my car and then follows me to my house, waving as he drives on to his house. There's an unfamiliar car in the driveway, but a familiar scent lingers outside the house. My father, it's his aftershave, and under that his natural scent, I haven't smelled it in months, but when I sniff the air it's there. Something feels wrong, my wolf is restless and growling, part of me wants to call Fitz and have him come back.

"Hi Clare, it's good to see you," Dad says when I come in the door. He comes over and hugs me, I hug him back, but barely.

"What are you doing here Dad?" I question. I know something is wrong, and just don't have the patience to be polite.

"I've filed for sole custody; I want you to come live with me and Elaine. I don't think it's healthy for you to be here with your mother and this shotgun marriage," Dad tells me.

"Did you think to ask me how I feel before just flying out? No, I'm not sure you ever think about how I feel or what's best for me. I think this is just a way for you to try and win," I remark, pulling back from my father.

"Clare, I don't think it's good or healthy to have two men in your house you barely know. One that is just a year older than you," Dad replies. He's totally convinced he's right, that I shouldn't be here because of Jake and Glen.

"You don't even know Jake and Glen, and you ran off with your mistress to a whole other province! Left us broken and I barely hear from you! Now you want to uproot my entire life because what…you think Jake and I will have sex sharing a house. I've got news for you Daddy I am no longer a virgin; I haven't been since just after you left. If you actually manage to get custody of me, I will not go, I want nothing to do with you or that whore!"

I realize mom is not home, I'm sure she didn't want to see my dad, but I guess knew he was coming home. Apparently, he also still has a key. My dad's face is red, his eyes round, his heart beating fast. He seems to think he was coming to my rescue, that he'd show up and I'd happily go with him.

"Clare Diana Edwards you will not talk about the woman I l…" Dad starts but my wolf is out, and she's pissed! She wants blood, and I can feel myself beginning to change. In fact, the desire to grow some claws and draw some blood is becoming more appealing by the millisecond.

"I WILL TALK ABOUT HER ANYWAY I WANT TO AND I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!" I yell at my father in a louder voice than I've ever been capable of. My voice growls, my wolf is surfacing and if I don't get out of here soon, I will hurt him. I push past my father with a lot of force, sending him into the wall as I run out the door.

I leave my purse, backpack and keys and just begin running. Down the street, around the corner, toward the ravine that runs through the city. Without even thinking I'm running toward Fitz's house. I keep running, I want to be with Fitz only I'm not running fast enough. All I know is I want to be with Fitz and suddenly I'm no longer human, I'm in wolf form. I didn't even think about it, I didn't try, one step I'm hitting the ground in shoes and the next I'm hitting the ground on four paws. My shoes and clothes in tatters somewhere in a seldom used part of the ravine. I don't even care, I just keep running, wanting nothing more than to be in Fitz's embrace.

"Fitz," I call through the link, again without thinking about it, "I need you."

"I know, I'm coming," he tells me.

I keep running, somehow knowing which direction to go and where Fitz is. I pick up his scent on the air, his wolf scent but it's him and I know it. I run faster, going in that direction, seeking him out and I see him, black fur coming my way. As soon as we're together I feel better, our wolves meeting, muzzles touching in kisses and rubbing our heads against the other.

"What happened?" Fitz asks, rubbing his head and neck against me one more time.

"My father was at the house. He wants sole custody of me, he says it's because he doesn't think it's appropriate for my mom to be getting married so quickly. That he doesn't trust Glen and Jake around me, but I think he just wants to win against her. I don't want to go with him, I don't want to see him again."

"You won't have to; I will see to it. Let's go home, but you should drink from the creek first. Just a little, but you ran a long way." Fitz nudges me toward the water, and I look down at it. At first just sort of marveling at my white wolf form, I'm beautiful and feel proud, and can't believe I turned into a wolf. Then wondering if the water is safe to drink. "It's okay, a few sips to get you home. Wolves have very strong immune systems. It will be easier to get back to the house in this form, and I'm assuming your clothes are ripped somewhere in the bushes?"

"Yeah, I ripped through all of them, and I left my phone and everything at the house."

"One of the girls can bring you something to wear. We'll pick up your backpack and everything tomorrow, but tonight you stay with me. Now come on, drink a little and let's get home," Fitz kind of commands through the link.

He nudges me again and I give in, lowering my head to the running water. Once my tongue hits it, I drink quite a bit, it's cool and clear and feels good. When I'm done drinking, I follow Fitz, running with him back to his house. We come to the backdoor and he changes instantly, naked and delicious looking. He's also looking at me waiting for me to change, only I didn't think about changing into a wolf and I don't know how to change back.

"Think about being human again, feel it, feel the desire to be human again," Fitz says.

"I'm trying, it's not working," I reply through the link.

"Don't try Clare, just feel. I can command you to change with alpha influence, but I don't think you'll like that. You changed into a wolf as you were running out of instinct, because you felt you needed to. Feel human again and you will be," Fitz says.

I close my eyes and visualize myself changing, being human again. I try to feel being human again. It doesn't happen as quickly as changing to wolf did, but I slowly regain my human form. Once I'm fully human again Fitz brings me into his arms and kisses me tenderly.

"Dallas is with Jake; I've asked him to tell Jake you're safe and let your mom know you're sleeping at a friend's house. Let's shower, we'll have some dinner and I'll hold you all night," Fitz tells me, taking my hand and bringing me into the house.

"I wanted to kill him, I wanted my father's blood," I say, leaning my head on Fitz's chest when we're in the shower.

"The wolf wanted blood, she's a part of you but your father was hurting you and the wolf is driven by emotion and instinct. When you have better control over changing, we'll start working on control when your wolf is trying to take over."

When we get out of the shower Fitz gives me a T-shirt and a pair of his boxers to wear. He says Paige and Jane will both bring some things for me to wear in the morning. At least, until we get to my house. Owen's mom brings us dinner and we eat cuddled on the sofa, I sleep in his bed and his arms. Inside my wolf is happy, this is home and where she needs to be. Where a big part of me feels I need to be, but I'm also afraid.

When Fitz's alarm goes off, I don't want to leave his arms. I pout and nuzzle into him, he chuckles and holds me closer, kissing my forehead softly. My wolf is sleeping happily and sleeping in his arms all day seems like a good idea to me.

"Paige and Jane are on their way with clothes. As much as I'd also like to stay in bed all day, I think Jake will be worried if we don't get you to school," Fitz says, kissing my temple.

He slips out of bed as I hear the front door open and close again, then a female voice calls hello. Fitz pulls on some jeans and runs downstairs. I hear muffled talking, then Fitz returns up the stairs as I hear the front door open and close again. He's carrying a bag in each hand and sets them on the bed.

"They brought you deodorant and stuff as well," Fitz says.

"Thanks, don't you ever lock doors here?" I question finally sitting up in bed.

"What for? It's a gated community of werewolves. We'd know if someone got on the property that didn't belong, and we just communicate through the link when we're on our way to someone's house. You better get dressed. Bianca will come with us to your house, and you can tell your mom you slept at her place last night," Fitz says.

I sit up with a yawn and slowly get out of bed. I take the bags into the washroom and look through them. I find a skirt in one that I like and fits me well, and pair it with a black and grey blouse from the other bag. Paige and Jane packed me everything I need to get ready, even brought me shoes and they fit. I decide I don't need to change at home, but I still need my backpack and everything. When we're ready Fitz links with Bianca and she says she'll be over in a few moments. We take Fitz's car to my house, and I'm somewhat surprised to see Mom's car along with Jake and Glen's trucks still here.

"Oh Honey, I'm so sorry about your father. I should have been here, but I didn't want to see him. We're going to fight this," Mom says, crushing me in a hug as soon as I come in the door.

"It's okay Mom, I slept at Bianca's house and I'm feeling better. It was just upsetting to see him and then for him to say those things."

"I don't think your father has a case, but you are also old enough to have a say in where you live Clare," Glen tells me.

"That's good, because I don't want to live with Dad. Bianca and Fitz are waiting for me. I'll see you at school Jake."

Jake nods, I get my backpack and purse and go back out to the car. Fitz takes us to school where Owen and Dallas are waiting for us. We go in and Fitz comes with me to my locker, Bianca leaves us to find Drew, but Dallas and Owen follow us. Adam is at his locker and upnods when he sees us.

"Adam and I have homeroom together, I'll see you next period on our spare," I tell Fitz. I give him a tender kiss before he leaves with the others.

"Okay, what happened? Also, those aren't your clothes," Adam comments.

I look around the halls and decide there are too many kids out here for me to tell him. I close my locker and motion for Adam to follow me and he does. We go to the empty home ec room again and I tell him everything. Dad being at the house, everything he said, my wolf getting mad, yelling and growling at Dad, pushing him as I ran out, turning to a wolf in the blink of an eye, and instinctually finding Fitz.

"I doubt your dad can get full custody based on your mom getting remarried, I wouldn't worry about that. I think you are right and it's just another way for him to fight your mom. However, from what Fitz told us and what you just told me I think it might get harder and harder for you to be living away from Fitz. You might want to start thinking about how to convince your mom that you need to live with your boyfriend," Adam remarks when I'm done.

"Yes, I already know you're right. When I'm not close to Fitz I want to be with him, and my wolf really hates being away from him. Now that I can really communicate with her, she gets restless and unhappy whenever we're far from Fitz and his wolf. I'll talk to Fitz next period, see what he thinks," I reply just as the bell rings.

I spend all of my spare with Fitz, but just can't bring myself to ask him about moving in together. My wolf doesn't think it's fast, and I'm sure Fitz doesn't, but I can't broach the subject. We eat lunch together, and he walks me to third period.

"You want to come over and do homework? I'll get you home by dinner, or we can even stop at your house for your car. Of course, you are always welcome to stay the night," Fitz comments.

"I'll tell my mom we have a project together, but we don't need to stop by my house for my car. I do need to visit my locker first," I respond.

"I'll wait for you on the front steps, Bianca can ride with Owen and Dallas," Fitz smiles.

He kisses my nose, and we go in different directions. I visit my locker and then get waylaid by Jenna and Alli, so it takes me nearly ten minutes to get back out to the front. When I do come to the front, I see Marisol flirting with Fitz. She's touching him and batting her eyelashes. He's not responding, they're talking about homework for a class, but my wolf is instantly jealous and angry. I don't say anything but my wolf growls at him through the link and he looks over. He's not surprised, he's not angry, he's almost giddy.

"Ready Gorgeous?" Fitz asks, pulling me into his arms.

"Yep," I smile.

"Your wolf is feeling territorial," Fitz chuckles. Before I can respond he tightens his arms around me and couples our lips. His tongue slides along my lips and they part, welcoming his tongue in. Our tongues tangle and dance until other kids start whistling and hooting. I tug his lower lip as we break the kiss.

"That was quite the steamy kiss," Bianca remarks. I knew she and Drew had come out to the steps by smell but was busy kissing Fitz. "I'm going to Drew's to do homework, if you're taking Clare home can you pick me up from Drew's?" Bianca asks Fitz.

"Sure, I'll let you know when I leave Clare's," Fitz replies.

"Hey, maybe the four of us should double this weekend," Drew suggests.

"Yeah, sounds good," I smile.