Chapter 4: Jin and Other

And finally, the last one is at the kingdoms of Jin and Other. When something quite….terrible, will happen.

Jin

Sima Yi: So….everyone awake?

Everyone: Yep.

Sima Shi: Except Zhao.

Sima Yi: What?! Ah, really, that kid agai? Goddammit, where's Wang Yuanji?

Wang Yuanji: Here, sir.

Sima Yi: Ah yes, can you please wake your husband up? Wouldn't wanna be late to welcome the newcomer.

Wang Yuanji: Of course, sir.

Sima Yi: Thank you. Sigh….really, he's ALWAYS like this. Time and time again I tell him off and even flog him with my whip but he just kept on being like this! Wonder who he got it from….

Zhang Chunhua: Pffttt. Real talk.

A few minutes later….

Sima Zhao: Yawn…..seriously, why the fuck must we be up THIS early?! I was having a nice dream with Yuanji an- smacked by Wang Yuanji OW!

Wang Yuanji: So you value my dream-me more than the real me?

Sima Zhao: OW! …..well, perhaps a little bit, since dream-you was less of a jerk and- OKAYOKAYOKAY CAN YOU PLEASE PUT THOSE KNIVES AWAY, PLEEEEEAAASEEEEEE?!

Sima Yi: Okay, okay, that's enough. So, ahem….today is a special day for all of us. Because today, we're going to welcome a new playable character in our ranks!

Everyone: Whoo!

Zhong Hui: Hmph. What's so special if it doesn't have anything to do with ME?

Deng Ai: Maybe try NOT being a selfish jackass?

Zhong Hui: What?! Of course not! I'm not selfish, it's just that I'm awesome and I know it hair flips HMPH!

Deng Ai: Yeah, yeah, as always.

Jia Chong: I really do hope we'll get a few good adds this time.

Sima Yi: Ah, yes, but worry not! Koei always cares for Jin. We're sure t get another amazing add, just like before.

Sima Zhao: You sure about that? I mean, we were the only kingdom to not get a new add in 8:XL!

Sima Yi: Well, that's because we already got 3!

Sima Zhao: But Shu had three regular adds as well! And they still got an XL add anyway! Hell, even Other got two XL adds!

Sima Yi: Well, be-because they're just saving the best for the last, okay! Now just be patient!

5 minutes later…..someone knocks on door

Everyone: !

Sima Yi: Ah, so here they are! Ahem, alright, please step inside, newcomer!

Door opens

Everyone: GASP!

?: with a sickeningly 'kawaii' voice HELO EVERYOOONNEEEEEE~!

Everyone: ….make a 'Really' face?

Sima Yi: …wha…..who are…..

?: Oh, that's right! My names is Xin Xianying! Nice to meet you all~!

Everyone: sweatdrop

Sima Zhao: What…what kawaii bullshit is this?!

Sima Shi: Fuck if I know! F….father?

Sima YI: Y-yes?

Sima Shi: H…how…how do we even…get something….

Sima Yi: Son….fuck if I know….but…this is….

Xin Xianying: Eh? What's wrong? Come on now, I'm just a newcomer and you guys didn't even greet me. Rude!

Sima Yi: O-okay, I'll handle this…..ahem!

Xin XIanying: Ah! Oh, you must be Lord Sima Yi!

Sima Yi: Ah yes, that's indeed me. And….Xin Xianying…..

Xin Xianying: Yes?

Sima Yi: …you do dress in a very…peculiar way for a supposedly scholarly woman.

Xin Xianying: Eh? Well, does it matter? After all, I don't just study! I kick ass too! If I dress in something long and covering, it would hinder me! Or are you telling me to "cover up"?

Sima Yi: Well, I mean, I-

Xin Xianying: Because that'd be pretty sexist you know, telling women to "cover up" just because it's too revealing". Hmph! I'm one of the very few women who actually got her name remembered in history and being famous, so I won't let being a woman hinder me! Got it?

Sima Yi: Yeah, well….I mean, we ARE already very sexist already, but….whatever. Okay, Xin Xianying, the brilliant daughter of Xin Pi, we expect you to do your best for the kingdom of Jin.

Xin Xianying: Why must you bring up my father like that? Just because I can't stand on my own?

Sima Yi: What? No, I jus-

Xin Xianying: I know it! Just because I'm a girl I can't be independent! Well! I'll prove that wrong! I'll do my best in service to the Jin!

Sima Yi: Phew, okay, okay, then…..well.

Sima Shi: So, are we seriously getting her?!

Sima Yi: Fuck you mean we are "seriously" getting her OF COURSE we are!

Sima Shi: But look at her! I mean…..seriously! Jin having one of those weeby kawaii shit is a disgrace!

Sima Yi: Yes I know but what choice do we have?! This is what we got, and it wasn't even half bad compared to Shu! Just accept it!

Sima Zhao: Okay, but…..is there still more newcomers we're gonna get?

Sima Shi: Yeah, I mean, there's simply NO WAY we'll JUST get her, right?!

Sima Yi: …oh. Welp.

Sima Shi: makes a tense demanding face

Sima Yi: I'm afraid she's the only one we get.

Sima Shi: HWHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?! OKAY, THAT'S IT I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT!

And so Sima Shi starts to riot inside the Jin building, and chaos ensued….which soon gets to be interrupted by a much, MUCH louder monstrous scream from outside…..

"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE in the cast are shocked and rush outside.

"What was that?!"

"What's going on?!"

"Was that a monster?"

"NO! It's…"

"…..hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….."

"….IT'S LU BU!""""""""

Lu Bu: HYAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS! ALL OF THIS IS DAMN THOSE CORPORATE FUCKERS KOEI'S FAULTS! THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO GIVE OTHER AN ADD AS WELL!

Cao Cao: What?! Come on now, you already had your own goddamn faction and you're salty about this?!

Liu Bei: Yeah! And beside it's far better than having ONE, FICTIONAL add anyway….

Sun Jian: Come on man, just, calm down!

Everyone: gets attacked by Lu Bu AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Cao Cao: WHAT?! LU BU! Come on now, we're trying to reason with you and you do THIS?!

Lu Bu: OF COURSE I DO! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM, AND YOU!

Liu Bei: Lu Bu, PLEASE! STOP THI-

Lu Bu: NO! I WILL NEVER! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING AND THOSE CORPORATE FUCKERS! HYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-

Zhao Yun: GUYS STOP!

Everyone: GASP!

Liu Bei: Z-zhao Yun?!

Cao Cao: What? What's going on?

Lu Bu: WHAT?! YOU DARE TRY TO STAND IN MY WAY?!

Zhao Yun: NO! I just….I just received this! shows a magazine scan

Everyone: Gasp!

Liu Bei: What is that?

Cao Cao: Let me see that! snatches paper

Zhao Yun: What the- HEY!

Cao Cao: …..what…no…no way…

Sun Jian: What is it?

Cao Cao: …..Yuan Shu? Hua Xiong? Do, Dong Bai?

Everyone: Huh?

Liu Bei: Wait! So…..Other does get adds as well!

Lu Bu: Huh? Really?

Cao Cao: Apparently! And…..Xiahouji?!

Liu Bei: What?!

Cao Cao: ….depressed ….they….they actually did it, didn't they?

Liu Bei: What is i-

Cao Cao: Well, YOU FUCKING LOOK AT THIS! THEY, THEY ACTUALLY DID ADD MY NIECE WHO YOUR BROTHER KIDNAPPED AND RAPED HISTORICALLY WHICH THEY CHANGED INTO A LOVEY DOVEY RELATIONSHIP!

Liu Bei: I honestly don't-

Cao Cao: THERE'S NO FUCKING EXCUSES! I just….how…..they….they finally did it. They, they have finally FUCKING DID IT! I can't believe this. Just, wow. They literally won't stop at NOTHING for MONEY, WILL THEY!

Liu Bei: Cao Cao, please just-

Cao Cao: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! KOEI ARE A BUNCH OF DISGUSTING, SICK FUCKS! AND YOU! YOU, YOU, AND YOU! ALL DISGUSTING! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

And so Cao Cao and the rest of Wei returned….

Everyone: …

Liu Bei: …..anyway, lemme just read this….what?

Everyone: Huh?

Zhuge Liang: What is it, my lord?

Liu Bei: …trembling they….they….

Zhao Yun: Lord Liu Bei! What is it?

Liu Bei: They actually…no….these….these aren't new adds….

Everyone: Huh?

Liu Bei: They're….they're….unique NPCs.

Everyone: …..eyes slowly widen

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

THE END

Hiya! So that was all! Hahah! Quite an anticlimactic ending, I know, but hey! It does perfectly summarise my feelings after all when they reveal all those bullshit, so yeah. Also I intended to upload this yesterday but my internet gave up on me orz

Thank you so much for reading this fic from beginning to end, also I may not know if I really am just going to be regularly uploading fics again like I used to or take small breaks in-between, but we'll just see. Please leave a review and have a good day!