AN1: I found it! It was probably in another story that I mentioned these two one-shots by the same author about post-sickness with Kurtbastian. I had ran across them again and I wanted to post what I could here. Again, shameless plugs for other authors who deserve the love! Myrna1_2_3 on Livejournal called Glee Fic #1: The One Where Sebastian and Kurt Are Together/#2...Talk About Marriage. I think about these two shots ALL the time and wishing there were more. I think these about these quite often and JWMelmoth's series: Glad You Came/Glad You Stayed.. Can't be sure if I think they're my favorite Kurtbastian stories or not, but they're certainly ones that come to mind when I think Kurtbastaian or just about good stories I've read.

AN2: I'm in the midst of writing some heavy chapters for another story. So I thought, what's better than switching gears and writing... a heavy chapter for this story... yeah, not what I had meant to do for myself. This chapter was always planned here. I was just trying to take a break from that story and focus on something else but short of starting another story, this was my current option. I know, there's other stories I could have added to, but this is what I was drawn to. This chapter- MAJOR triggers.

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Chapter 11

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Before they knew it, about a month had passed. Things had settled down, had settled and relaxed a little and became easier for all involved and all were involved. Blaine's worry that Kurt wouldn't be able to keep up with the glee club and have to sit out for at least one round was unfounded or at the very least had been proven wrong. Blaine was one of the happiest to be proven wrong. Kurt had become a valuable member of their team, coming up with song options and was a pretty strong dancer when he had a choreograph to follow.

They'd all grown closer. Kurt didn't talk a whole lot still of life outside of Dalton but when he got excited about something, he spoke fast and long and it was very endearing. It was obvious to see his old scars had faded a lot with their help, lathering on cream and tending to him carefully.

Once in awhile something would spook him or put back a haunted look into his eyes. Mostly though he pushed it all to the side.

It was something they were most aware of when picking movies. There was an agreement throughout the boys that any time they had movie night, none of their choices would include bullying or violence against someone weaker or ganged up upon. It meant a lot of high school movies were out of the running.

They would try to search the internet databases to see if there was any mention of it. Sometimes it slipped through the cracks though and nobody knew what to do when that happened. Kurt always seemed ok, he wouldn't reach out for anyone, wouldn't bury his head in blankets or pillows. Would just suffer through it in silence. Usually the scene wouldn't last long and it would be onto something different. Once the scene lasted far longer and by the time they realized it, Sebastian had already pulled Kurt into his arms, burying his head into Kurt's shoulder, his body trembling and someone else had reached for the remote to fast-forward through that part. Kurt wouldn't know if he was the one being comforted or if Sebastian was the one that had needed it and sought him out.

The honest answer was both. What Sebastian had learned about what Kurt had gone through still haunted him too, still made him upset. Kurt just patted Sebastian's back and ran his fingers reassuringly through Sebastian's hair, never giving away if the scene had bothered him in return.

If Kurt hadn't been so interesting to all of them, they'd have never searched and wouldn't have come across the horrible information. Kurt wouldn't have been so interesting had he stayed with them from the beginning, but truthfully, being a mid-semester transfer was just far more interesting, even if he had stayed since the beginning. He would have always been interesting to Blaine and Sebastian.

They all had home lives that they mostly left at home. Some had been closer to their families and so stories would slip through. They would text family or talk on the phone. Kurt had weekly dates with Finn and would then talk with others at home too. Sebastian pieced together that his older boyfriend lived with Kurt's family.

Blaine had pieced it together too and wondered about it. He pitched the question to Sebastian and David one day at their water fountain. Of course at this time of the year it was turned off and they had to clear a spot to sit on and brought blankets to keep from getting too cold, but it was still a secret and safe space to talk.

"Why do you think he lives with Kurt's parents? Think he's a charity case or something?"

"Does make sense why he's been allowed to sleep with Kurt overnight. They live together." Sebastian wasn't pleased by that and so didn't mind sharing, hoping to drag Blaine with him.

"They're evening phone calls, guys, doesn't mean he's living there. He might just be over for dinner or something." David pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe." Blaine sighed and brought his knees up so he could rest against them. "Still sucks. That must be hard on them to do the long distance thing. Think they'll break up soon?"

"Doubt it, if he lasted through what Kurt had been through. Might have even made them closer." Sebastian also felt that dejection. "It would be really cool parents to let their son's college boyfriend live with them."

"I don't think Burt would be that cool. I mean he's awesome but protective." David said and they couldn't help but agree.

"Oh my God, did you see Wes' hair today? He totally got the wrong cut this morning." Blaine shifted gears and they all laughed at the way too short look on Wes. They gossiped about many of their classmates while they sat out there. It's what they did. That or plotted.

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Kurt stared at himself in the mirror, wishing it would give him answers. Chiefly among which – what the hell was wrong with him? Followed closely behind with – was he such a masochist?

He had forgotten to take his sleeping pills last night. He was terrified about what could have slipped out. Had he had night terrors? What had he said in sleep? What had these boys learned about his messed up past? How were they going to judge him today?

Fear gripped him as he dressed and then slowly exited to face his three roommates. How had their opinions of him turned over night?

He walked out of the bathroom, expecting critical eyes and judging stares. Instead he met David's brown gaze who looked at him quizzically and Blaine was still asleep and Sebastian was working on getting himself out of bed and facing the rest of the day. Nothing had changed except his own behavior and he firmed his resolve, attempting to pretend that nothing had changed.

He'd been stupid, he wouldn't make that mistake again.

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"Hey, you ok?" He heard Blaine ask as he helped him back to the dorm room.

"Yeah." Kurt slurred and collapsed onto the bed without changing or without grace. He had taken his pills too early, he realized but his head had hit the pillow and he was out. Would the others even notice his change of behavior? He hoped they hadn't.

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It was Sebastian that was in his bed, arms curled around him, pressing his face to a muscular chest and whispering words of comfort. He didn't know what Sebastian was saying but he was also in the middle of a panic attack, having trouble bringing breath into his lungs, much less sort out what had happened. Blaine had been the last person he'd seen.

Sebastian's hands stroked his back in an attempt to calm him. A light flickered on as Sebastian wasn't able to keep his cries from the others in the room and soon all three were crowding into his bed. He clung to Sebastian's shirt front with one hand and the other gripped at his waist, unsure how his hands had gotten there. Other hands reached out, attempting to console him and he hated how suddenly he'd become the center of attention once more. He however, had gotten over his fear of many hands reaching for him, had to with Burt, Finn and Puck all crowding in on him over the last few months.

He didn't know what happened but his forehead was against Sebastian's shoulder and then he was wrapped around his pillow once more. But he wasn't alone, two beds were pushed up against his and Blaine stroked Kurt's cheek tenderly while Sebastian was draped around him from behind. Even David had a hand on him, his hand wrapped around Kurt's ankle loosely as his bed was pushed up perpendicular to Kurt and the other boys' beds.

"Wh-what happened?" Kurt asked a little concerned about how they'd all basically piled on him and he hadn't noticed. He was even more worried about why.

"You had a night terror." Sebastian whispered into his ear, his arms tightening around Kurt.

"This was the only way we found that calmed you down." Blaine started and then shook his head. "Only it isn't the first thing we tried. Sorry, I think we freaked you out more for awhile there."

"In your sleep you liked touch but not being surrounded by it. We all wanted to lend your our strength and support." David explained, sitting up and carefully moving into the beds with the others, bringing Kurt's feet onto his lap and he stroked Kurt's calves in comfort. It surprisingly did wonders to loosen up the knot forming in his chest.

He relaxed back around his pillow. "Was this the first time?" Kurt asked instead of answering the questions written on their faces.

"Yes." Blaine answered. "You usually sleep so soundly and deeply. I've wondered if it was aided-."

"Yes." Kurt admitted before Blaine could say anything more, make it sound worse than it was. "I was prescribed sleeping pills. I missed it one night this week. Do you think that could be why my nightmare came through tonight? Are they not working as well as they used to because I've gotten used to it and/or missed a dosing?"

"I think there's a lot of things you haven't fully dealt with and have suppressed and it would have come out sooner or later in some form." David added his thoughts. "You can get used to them but I don't think that's the culprit at this time."

"I've been to therapy." Kurt responded mulishly. He was still technically going but not as often as he was supposed to. He often deflected out of it, claiming he was too busy with other things. Now that his dad wasn't driving him there, he didn't feel like he had to go as much. He also had more time now that he wasn't going to the doctor's as well. He felt fine, he was fine.

"Have you told anyone what you've been through?" Blaine asked with all the sensitivity of a two-by-four. He meant well but he said it far too openly and told Kurt without saying it that they already knew. He already knew that though, but it was still hard to swallow.

"Actually told someone, from your point of view and not just the basics, the actions?" Sebastian slotted in, his hold on Kurt could have been crushing but it wasn't. His entire front was pressed against practically Kurt's entire back, molded against him like second skin.

His hand slipped under Sebastian's where it was laid flush against his chest and he linked their fingers while drawing circles on the back of his hand. Blaine caught the action but Kurt was reaching out for him too, pulling his hand away from his face to hold it with his instead. "I haven't."

"Is it something you are willing to do now, with us?" David asked, his fingers never once stopping their relaxing path on his legs. Kurt wondered for once since meeting him, if David wasn't quite as straight as he claimed. There wasn't anything sexual but it was reassuring and intimate yet detached in a way. Then he realized what it was, David was being a friend, a really good friend. It wasn't something he'd had a lot of experience with.

He took a deep breath, wondering if his throat would sustain him through this story. "Water?" He asked instead of starting in on the story. David bounded off the bed and dug around in his chest, coming back with five bottles of water. He placed one next to Kurt who hadn't really moved from the comfortable position he'd strangely found himself in.

Kurt decided it was probably smart to move now. He didn't let go of any hands but he did move to a sitting position and the boys moved in closer but still gave him a clear path of escape. They were just there to support him once more. He leaned back into Sebastian's chest and put Sebastian's hand back on his stomach so he could hold David's hand instead. He didn't let go of Blaine's.

Was he really ready to tell this story? He had dealt with it, had put it into it's place, he didn't want to be viewed as weak by these boys. They'd seen him at his worst but he hadn't broken down and he wasn't sure he'd get through the story without breaking down.

He took another deep breath, he wouldn't know until the words were out. He just hoped it didn't make things worse. "There was a jock from my school that I caught making out with one of the football players of our opposing school after a pretty stressful game."

Kurt thought back to that day. He was heading to the Lima Bean, the day was bright and he had very little concerns over the fact that they'd lost the game. He'd gone just to support his friends on the team. It had been tied scores for most of the game and they would only get a few yards at a time before it was passed over to the other team. Karofsky was too slow to tackle the guy with the ball and the other team got a point right at the buzzer. They'd lost the game.

The player who scored the winning goal was holed up in the alley next to the Lima Bean, just in far enough that no one would see them, but Kurt had heard a noise and he'd been curious. Karofsky's head turned toward him, his eyes fastening onto Kurt's face even as his mouth moved over the other guy's neck. He looked furious and Kurt didn't know if that anger was part of the sex or directed at Kurt.

He'd moved on quickly, not wanting to be a voyeur or to be in that line of sight. He had never seen such hatred directed his way before. "The guys weren't especially easy on me, I was always a pretty big target and an easy one too. After that... it was worse than ever." Sebastian's hand pressed reassuringly on his waist while Blaine and David both squeezed his hand, bringing the other one up to cup around the hand they held.

"He threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I was pretty sure he would have gone through with it even then, but the thing was, he hadn't needed to threaten me." Kurt trembled. "I wouldn't have told based on principle alone, I didn't believe in outing people. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have outed him because I didn't want the backlash too. The threat- it made me paranoid and for good reason."

Sebastian buried his face into Kurt's shoulder and he was taking unsteady breaths. Blaine looked wrecked too and David had some tears in his eyes, but none fell.

Kurt steeled himself to go on. "I don't know where the anger was coming from really, even now. Was it because he was so deeply self-loathing and he'd been caught? Was it the particular individual he'd been with that he was fearful of how the guys would react or even just in general. Or was it because it was me? Well, part of that got answered eventually. He slammed me up against a locker and was in my space, suggesting that he could shut me up with a method that would please him. Since I was just a... a watcher with no prospects of ever getting laid myself, he might help me out and call it a mutually beneficial arrangement. He'd gotten cruel, getting delight in pushing me around. The increased bullying and intensity nearly had me going to authorities, my dad especially. I wasn't able to cover up all the bruises and scrapes anymore and I was running out of excuses."

Kurt swallowed hard. "He'd tried to follow through with his suggestions, thought it would be something I would accept if he just approached me the right way. I screamed bloody murder and he never got the chance to touch me. I was going to go to the adults then, it had gotten ridiculously bad and he had crossed a line. It was no longer about just keeping my mouth shut about what I'd seen. Now it was allowing him to get away with- with... Well I wasn't going to let it happen. I should have done so right away but I didn't know how to bring it up and I was just getting to the point that the words and how I said it didn't matter, the important thing was saying it.

I asked Coach Sue to meet with me after Cheerios practice, I had something I wanted to discuss with her. She asked me why I didn't go to Mr. Schue. I said that I didn't think he would handle what I needed to discuss appropriately, wouldn't give it the gravity it deserved. I think she knew and she agreed to meet up with me and she didn't say a word to anyone. I didn't either." Kurt shuddered as he thought about what came next and he lost his voice again for a moment and powered on, never wanting to be voiceless again, even for a moment. "I think though the jocks knew. Coach Beiste had been the one to come barreling in and she was giving them far more punishing reps than normal. I hadn't told her, but she wasn't unaware, wasn't dumb."

"Kurt... we know, you don't have to tell us this part." Sebastian gave him an out, unsure if he could handle listening to it.

"No, no, I have to say this part." Kurt wrapped his hand around the bottle of water before opening it and taking a sip but then made a face. "Water... I'll always have a complicated relationship with it now. They dragged me into the science room where they had a beaker of water boiling on a Bunsen burner. I didn't know for sure what they were going to do with it, but I knew no matter what it was, it wasn't good.

Karofsky... he... he was talking about how this would permanently shut me up since no one wanted to hear my fairy fag voice, that they would correct the mistake. I don't know if he realized it very well could have shut me up for forever, that I wouldn't be able to speak again. Wouldn't even be able to do anything that would give him away because I would have been dead.

I had it written in my journal though, once he threatened me, I had written down everything I could remember. It was my safety net in case he followed through with the threat." Kurt curled his legs up into his chest.

"His friends just laughed and agreed, making fun of my voice and they held me down. Azimio grabbed hold of my face and held my jaw open while Karofsky donned heat resistant gloves and poured the scalding water down my throat. I could have drowned, it could have destroyed my lungs fully and permanently, it could have, did, strip my mouth, throat and lungs of protective coating and allow germs to attack me.

It punched the air out of my lungs, I couldn't breath, I couldn't scream and I couldn't swallow but it was making it's way down my throat to my stomach anyway. It was excruciating. I'm pretty sure I blacked out pretty quickly and I only remember one voice sounding shocked at what they were doing, telling the others to stop. I don't know which one it was but he didn't do anything to actually stop it. I know he ran. The rest, I have only heard bits and pieces from Noah and Mercedes."

"I'm going to kill them." Sebastian had known the basics but the details, it was so much worse. Blaine and David were nodding along, having said something to the same degree once the story was out.

"You can't, they're all in jail." Kurt shifted, not wanting to be around so much intense anger. It was setting off some of his anxiety again. "And from what I understand, they aren't doing well. There's an infinite restraining order on all of them, they can't be within a mile of me."

Sebastian caught on first and he breathed Kurt in and slid both his arms around Kurt again, being very careful and monitoring Kurt's reactions. He tried to force himself to relax. Kurt was there with them, he was alive and talking and dancing once more. He still didn't try to sing, but he was with them most of the day.

"They've taken so much from you." Blaine said and David smacked him upside the head at the insensitivity of those words, no matter how true or how caring he had said them in.

"I think Kurt knows that." David said through gritted teeth. "He doesn't need you pointing it out."

"I did lose a lot." Kurt agreed and Blaine put both of his hands on Kurt's leg closet to him in comfort. "I did it's true. There are some things I'll never get back, but I'm alive and I'm doing really well considering what happened. I gained a lot too, I got the three of you and the rest of the Warblers and a good majority of Dalton. I wouldn't have had that had I not come here."

"You would have still been with your friends, still have everything you always had."

"Maybe, there's no telling what would have happened once I told people what had been going on." Kurt bit his bottom lip as he thought about it. "I suppose it would have been nice to at least see what that path would have been." He would have probably ended up here eventually though.

"Do you want anything?" David eventually asked, cooler head finally prevailing. Sebastian was probably plotting legal ways to get back at the boys who'd done Kurt harm. Blaine was probably imagining inventive but overall unlikely revenge scenarios.

"More sleep?" Kurt glanced at the clock, it was 3 am.

"Yeah, yeah, ok." David started to pull away to move his bed back to where it belonged but Kurt caught up his hand.

"You three can sleep in my bed tonight, if you want."

"Will you be ok with it?" His sleep-riddled reactions now made more sense and they would be very careful not to restrain him again in the future, or let a lot of boys surround him.

"I think so, especially if I'm aware of it going in." He scooted back so he was pressed up even more so against Sebastian. Sebastian only closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Kurt. Blaine pressed in close to his front and David settled down behind Blaine with an arm tossed over the three of them and a leg over Kurt's and Blaine's.

Kurt slept pretty soundly that night, considering.

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EAN: So, some answers in this chapter! :)

I honestly couldn't write more for this chapter. This is where it needed to end for now, it took a lot out of me.