An Abrupt Education

Stitch came streaking through the kitchen, arms outstretched and eyes wide in panic. His fur was soaked, and he shook sprays of water into puddles on the floor.

"Lilo! Lilo in trouble!" he shouted.

Having just sunk down into a chair-her first break from cleaning all morning-Nani just stared at him blankly. Then, she groaned and slapped her forehead, recalling the sound of the shower running just minutes ago.

"Lilo!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, "Was Stitch in the shower with you again?"

"He knows not to touch." Lilo's answer came from the stairwell. In just a few seconds, she appeared around the corner, hair sleek and dripping water down her back, wrapped in a green towel. The towel did little to hide the twelve- year- old's curving waist and breasts, yet her furrowed eyebrows and fiery eyes were vivid reminders that the stubborn six- year- old she had been was still very much alive. "It's the only way to get him to take a bath."

"Lilo!" Nani moaned, rubbing her temple. She put her hand on her belly for comfort, feeling the baby move around again. Only two months away…"Baby, we talked about this! You know it's not appropriate anymore…not even with an alien…"

Stitch's panic couldn't wait for the lesson to finish. He grabbed Nani's shirt and began to tug, pointing at Lilo all the while.

"Lilo! Lilo in trouble!" Nani struggled to get her shirt free, but stopped when she saw tears flooding his large eyes.

"Lilo, what is he talking about? What trouble?"

Lilo cringed, glancing down at her feet.

"Well…I sorta started in the shower, and he saw it before I did."

"He saw what?" Nani tilted her head to one side. Lilo averted her eyes while gesturing to her legs.

"Oh!" Nani looked from Lilo to Stitch. "Ohh, that's what you mean."

"I think we have to explain it to him, Nani," Lilo said somberly, as though the topic spelled death for all concerned.

"I thought we DID explain it to him," Nani protested. Stitch had been there, after all, while she and Lilo discussed menstruation and sex. He had looked over the pictures Nani had found, and listened while Lilo read a girl's handbook to him. As it coincided with her pregnancy, Nani had even showed them the medical aids on baby growth in the womb. He'd seemed very excited when he realized that Lilo could have now have babies, too.

Lilo shrugged. "I guess he didn't really understand it after all."

"Yeah, no kidding," Nani retorted, trying to avoid the large pitiful eyes pleading with her.

"So, you're just going to have to explain it to him again."

Nani glared at her. "Why couldn't you just avoid being naked around him?"

"Your argument is invalid." With that, Lilo turned and fled back up the stairs, leaving Nani with a very upset, very scared Stitch.

"Oh, boy," she breathed, looking down at him. "As if I didn't have enough to do. Okay, Stitch," she said, resting her hands on her knees while leaning towards him.

Stitch sniffled as he buried his face in her belly. "Lilo dying. No more Lilo."

Nani rolled her eyes, fighting back a laugh. The situation would have been hilarious had it involved anyone but her. She raised his head.

"Stitch, listen," she said, "Lilo isn't dying. I know you saw blood in the shower, but it's not like that at all. I promise." She put a hand over her heart.

"What?" Stitch blinked back at her, his mouth open.

"Don't you remember what we talked about last month? Hm? About Lilo and having babies?" She patted her belly.

"Ick." Stitch gave a nod.

"And don't you remember what I said about a woman's-a human woman's-body changing to get her ready for babies?"

"Ick."

"Well, that blood in the shower-" Damn. Why did explaining menstruation to an alien suddenly make periods sound disgusting? "Is just Lilo's body's way of preparing. For a baby." She tried smiling reassuringly at him. "Do you understand, sweetie?"

Stitch blinked. "Naga."

"Ugh." Nani knocked her head on the table. There had to be a better way to explain this. Why hadn't someone just written a book about periods for aliens already? Surely there were other people sharing their homes with aliens…

"AAAHHHH!" Pleakly's scream made both her and Stitch jump. "NANI, GET UP HERE! THERE'S BLOOD IN THE SHOWER! SOMEONE'S BLEEDING TO DEATH! AAAHHH!"

"Lilo!" Nani moaned.

Why did aliens make everything so difficult?