Hey look an update occurring in a reasonable time frame- miracles can happen!

Enjoy :) SuchaNarcissist

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§Parseltongue§

Bold is notes or screaming, it should be pretty obvious which.

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A constellation of tears on your lashes
Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes
In the end everything collides
My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
Fall Out Boy- My Songs know what you did in the dark

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The last thing Cornelius Fudge wanted to see when he stepped inside his office was the shadowed face of Unspeakable Croaker. Fortunately for Minister Fudge that was not what he saw when he entered his office, unfortunately that potential view was replaced with the backs of three grey-cloaked individuals, which Cornelius was fairly certain belonged to unspeakables- after all who else would be in his office at such an inconvenient hour. Cornelius did hate not having all the cards in his dealings with the unspeakables and being flatfooted like this was simply bad form in any arena- political or not. Cordial nonetheless he spoke up, voice trembling with just a hint of fear.

"What can I do for you gentlemen?"

As one the unspeakables turned to face the pudgy man, the slight quiver of his shoulders transitioned smoothly into terrified trembling. "We have the results of the investigation that you requested Minister" the central one replied in an even, mechanical tone.

"Please sit Minister we have much to discuss" The voice of the left unspeakable was recognisable to the Minister as that of Croaker- the Head Unspeakble. For once not commenting the Minister sat quickly behind his desk and placed his lime green bowler hat on the hat stand beside him. "We have completed the task that you asked of us" stated Croaker.

"B-but the children! They have not been found, the ministry- involvement-Hogwarts-culpability" The Minister stuttered for a moment unsure of what to say. "What happened to the children then" He asked tiredly.

"The children were taken as an energy supply for Hogwarts, the old ones are fading and the children will keep Hogwarts running for now; However in terms of the ministry the children were never sorted by the sorting hat and as such were never official students of Hogwarts- acceptance letters have no legal might behind them."

"So neither the ministry or Hogwarts has culpability for the disappearances" The minister paused and thought for a moment "You say the children will keep Hogwarts running for now?"

The third unspeakable spoke up "Indeed minister, if our calculations are correct Hogwarts will need about one hundred new wizarding energy sources in the next decade- or one and a half thousand muggle energy sources in the same time period. Given our assessment of the Hogwarts wards we have calculated that if all the pointless wards are removed that number should drop to seventy wizarding or one thousand and fifty muggles."

"WHAT! You cannot be serious- kill seventy wizards or thousands of mug-"

"If you prefer it would require seven hundred squibs" Added Croaker "But nonetheless something must be done, if Hogwarts falls it would not be good for the ministry- think what the muggles would see"

"But what can be done, that many people cannot just disappear Croaker- the muggles are watching us already after You-know-who and killing upstanding wizards would have me executed in an instant." The minister exclaimed heatedly his hands going to his pocket for a handkerchief to wipe away the sweat on his forehead that formed at the very idea.

"Exactly minister, the public would rebel if seventy upstanding wizards were to vanish- but there are other options" Hinted the left unspeakable.

"Upstanding" Muttered Fudge "You mean to imply that criminals could be the answer."

"Not just any criminals minister, already convicted and sentenced ones, those who are expected to die off slowly over the next three decades in the worst hell on earth" Interjected the third unspeakable, a sense of grim satisfaction permeated their words even through the voice modifying charms on the cloak they wore "Those bastards deserve their fate and this way you get to say that you've solved two problems and lightened the load on the taxpayer."

"A win-win situation Minister" finished Croaker.

"But how to decide which prisoners to use?" Whispered the minister, more to himself than to any of the other presences in the room.

"Easy enough, the castle will need many lives over the next few decades- start with the worst offenders, those imprisoned for life or longer and work your way down. Avoid those with a chance of getting out and check innocence beforehand just in case." The words seemed to reach the minister through his thoughtful daze.

"Yes, yes indeed a sensible solution that pleases everybody. Excellent most excellent indeed. Well thank you gentlemen-ladies? Never mind I must be getting on thank you for your time" The minister spoke quickly looking down at his desk all the while, hands twisting together furiously.

"Very well minister we will take our leave, but do remember our little dealwon't you." Croaker's voice never once changed from the same flat tone he had used the entire time he was in the office but somehow his very presence seemed to grow more intimidating. Behind his desk the minister twitched, hi mouth opened and closed once- then twice before he just looked down. In the silence the unspeakables walked out.

The minister did not move from his desk for over an hour until his over-eager undersecretary strode through the door with a pile of paperwork and an indignant expression "Honestly Cornelius these people will they never-"

Interrupting with a surprisingly firm voice the minister spoke "Please Dolores, not now. Contact the warden of Azkaban and Headmaster Dumbledore at once, say, say it is an emergency and that they are to both arrive within two hours."

"But why Cornelius, I know of no current political issue that could require Dumbledore and Head warden Roslin" Dolores Umbridge queried, her beady eyes narrowed in consternation.

"This one is above your paygrade Dolores. Now please go." Was the reply she received and with the narrow eyed glare the woman turned on her heel and minced out of the room. Behind her turned back the minister stood up and walked to a cabinet in the corner of his office to retrieve an aged bottle of whisky and three glasses.

By the time the headmaster and head warden arrived the bottle was half empty.

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Hey look plot, where did that come from?

Enjoy :) SuchaNarcissist