It was the next morning. Leshawna and the others were running towards the bathrooms. "Only one toilet is working today?" Beth wondered.
"This crazy, bargain-basement show doesn't even have a plunger?" Heather complained.
"And I'd have to be crazy myself to give up primo spot," Leshawna added. "Crazy with niceness. Duncan, honey? You take it."
"Nice try," Duncan argued, "But you lied to us and I never mess with liars."
"Or with mouthwash. I've got one word for you, Stank Breath: winter mint. Harold, baby, would you like my spot?"
"Hecks yeah!" Harold agreed.
"Figures," Duncan commented. "Taking a bribe."
"I don't do bribes."
"Then what's with letting Leshawna suck up to you? As far as I'm concerned, she's off the team."
"Except that the team needs her. Thank you for giving me your spot, Leshawna, my valued if somewhat untrustworthy teammate." Harold opened the stall, which had Owen on the toilet. "AHH!" Harold screamed in shock. "Owen, what are you doing?"
"It's not about what I'm doing," Owen explained through his wired jaw, "It's about what I'm NOT doing."
"Pipe's a little backed up?"
"Who knew a diet of blended corned beef and cheese puffs shakes could stop my whole system." Owen tried to use the bathroom as Harold turned his head away. "Move it, people!" Lacey barked out as she ran over with a shake.
"Lacey, a little privacy?" Owen asked. "I'm trying to poop-a-doop here!"
"Well, I've got the cure for your no-can-doo-doo right here. Always worked back home. One part fruit to nine parts bran."
"That isn't even food-esque!"
"Hey, I'm trying to help you here!"
"Give it here," Leshawna told Lacey as she took the shake. "I've been starving half to death since DJ left." She slurped the contents down. "She's gonna feel that," Lacey murmured as she shook her head.
"My, my!" Leshawna exclaimed after she had finished. "Who knew liquid bran could be so tasty?" She gave a belch. "Even on the return trip."
"I'd be more concerned about the lower end than the upper end," Lacey added as she walked off.
"I'd say that my work here is done," Owen sadly commented as he buttoned his pants, "But I never even got started."
"Today, we're all about war movies," Chris, wearing a military helmet, announced, "So look alive, you-"
"Buckets of horse doo-doo," Chef, in his military outfit, told the cast.
"So get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you-"
"Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!"
"Move it, privates! Fall in." Everyone gave him skeptical stares. "Why should we listen to you after yesterday?" Destiny pointed out.
"You either have to follow my orders or Lacey's," Chris offered, "And you wouldn't like her leading, trust me."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Drop and give me fifty, maggot!" Lacey, dressed in a camo tank top, shorts and bandana, shouted through a megaphone. "Hup-two, hup-two!" Destiny gave a squeak as she began to do some push-ups. She gave a groan as Lacey stood on her back. "HARDER!" Lacey shouted through her megaphone. "My army isn't gonna have any wimps in it!"
"Man, she's as brutal as a drill sergeant," Duncan commented.
"Demo's over," Chris told Lacey. Destiny collapsed after Lacey got off her back. Chris turned to the rest of the cast. "Now, you were saying?" he challenged.
"SIR, YES, SIR!" they rallied.
Confessional: Duncan (Screaming Gaffers)
"I've always wanted to be a Marine. They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say 'Hoo-ah!' No clue what that means, but it just sounds so cool! Hoo-ah!"
Confessional: Lacey
"Finally, the challenge that I'm actually excited about! I'm a huge fan of the war genre, along with most of my gang. In fact, two of the guys always help out with the local veterans center by donating fresh clothes, making warm meals and just being there for the veterans to talk to. You know, I did consider signing up for military school like that cadet from last season, but with my juvie record and having to maintain the bar, I just couldn't. But a girl can dream!"
End Confessionals
"I am so pumped!" Harold exclaimed as everyone except Duncan walked off. "My squad in Battlefront has won ten multiplayer gaming titles. The secret to our success: teamwork."
"This is the real world, Virtual Loser," Duncan argued. "You wanna win? Sit back and let me get my Marine on." The rest of the Gaffers joined them. "I'm the main course," Duncan boasted, "The rest of you are gravy, as in, on the side."
"You compared me to gravy?" Destiny questioned. "Yuck!"
"You won't be saying that when I bust out my deadly numb-yo," Harold told Duncan. "No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks. Not when I'm carrying this bad boy." He pulled out two yo-yos tied together and swung them around. "I will defeat all enemies and smite them with dishonor," Harold continued. Leshawna yawned at the sight while Duncan and Heather had bored looks, with only Destiny watching in awe. Duncan walked over and tossed a little piece of wood into the strings, making the yo-yos lose momentum and hit Harold in the groin. "My nether regions," he moaned as he fell down.
"Harold just took a numb-yo in the numb-yos," Duncan joked. Heather and Leshawna laughed at this. "What a loser!" Dunca laughed as he walked off.
"Not funny, Duncan," Harold squeaked in a pained high-pitched tone.
"I thought it was pretty good, Dweeb," Destiny put in as she walked over and helped him to his feet.
"Don't call me Dweeb, Destiny!"
"But you ARE a dweeb."
"Well, dweebs can't fend off against ninja attacks, and I can!"
"Ha-ha!" Lara, now cosplaying as Stealth Elf from Skylanders, laughed as she suddenly popped up behind Harold, making him fall over in surprise. "Do you dare to challenge me in combat? The Elven trained in the art of stealth and was able to take down an army of Drow and slip away in the shadows."
"That's so incredible!" Destiny gushed. "How do you do it so well?"
"A bundle of patience and a steady hand. It's not easy getting elf ears, you know. Well, I'll be seeing you." Lara did a sommersault as she left, but Destiny winced as she heard a loud CRASH. "I'm okay," Lara weakly assured her off-screen.
Soon, the cast were blindfolded and sitting in another area. "Okay, people," Chris announced, "Remove your blindfolds." They did just that and saw themselves in the inside of an airplane. "When it comes to making a war movie," Chris explained, "Jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is." He opened a box of parachutes and the door. "So naturally, it's our first challenge!" Everyone stared in shock. "If we live," Lindsay told Beth, "I was thinking I should totally be our team's admiral."
"Admirals are in charge of sailors," Beth corrected. "Generals are in charge of soldiers, generally."
"But admiral sounds cuter, so now I'd like to be called Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness. Okay?" Justin walked over and sat between them. "Beth, Lindsay, I wanna propose something," he told them, "But don't get excited. It's not marriage." He gave a chuckle but noticed the girls hadn't laughed. "Anywho," he continued, "It's a long way from the airplane to the ground below."
"Three kilometers, to be exact," Beth informed him.
"Wouldn't know. Math is for ugly people. Here's the deal: I need you two to jump before me in case I need a soft place to land, okay?" Justin batted his eyes and smiled, but Lindsay and Beth gave him skeptical looks. "Now you girls know I don't blink these eyelashes at just anybody," Justin said. He blinked again, but the girls just glared at them. "Nothing?" Justin wondered. "When were your last eye exams?"
"Guess your so-called gal pals wised up and decided not to put their trust in pretty boys, Pretty Boy," Destiny taunted. She blew a raspberry at him until Heather gave her a slap. "Ow!" she moaned with a muffle. "I think my tongue has a bruise."
"Drop zone's approaching," Chris shouted. "Form a line. It's time to part-ay! Stunt people go weeks of training before they parachute. Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part: jumping!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Harold asked.
"Most of us jumped from a plane before," Destiny informed him. "Remember our first trip to Pahkitew Island?"
"What's the worst that could happen?" Chris assured them.
"We die?" Owen asked.
"I know. Hilarious. Ha-ha! Time to jump!"
"There's only one way off this big old silver bird," Izzy declared, "And it's through that door! Let's dance!" She tried to push a terrified Owen out the door. "Come on. It's not that scary."
"Hello!" Owen pointed out. "Crazy girl pushing me off an airplane, and I haven't had a parachute lesson yet!"
"That's okay," Chris assured him as he turned off his phone. "I just spoke to our research department. There were no parachutes in World War One."
"So, what do we do for a challenge?" Heather asked.
"Simple." Chris pushed the crate of parachutes out the door, to the Gaffers' horror. "Whoo-hoo!" Izzy cheered as she ran to the door. "Tell my pet rock I love her!" She jumped out of the plane, to Owen's worry. "You're next, Private No-Can-Poop!" Chris shouted.
"For the love of everything deep-fried," Owen begged, "Don't ask me to do this!"
"If you won't do it for me, maybe you'll o it for a corned beef blendy." Chris pulled out a blendy in a cup, catching Owen's attention. "Fetch, boy!" Chris shouted as he tossed it out the door. Owen chased after it, making the plane shift weight. Everyone was pulled toward the door and they screamed as they fell out of the plane. Everyone soon landed on a large mattress. "We're alive!" Owen cheered as the camera zoomed out to show the plane was just a set. "Whoo-hoo!" Chef turned off some big fans as Lacey walked over to the cast. "It's good to be alive!" Owen exclaimed.
"You guys enjoy the plane trip?" Lacey asked them.
"One, two, three, four little pigeons," Destiny dizzily slurred as she pointed to the imaginary birds circling around her head.
"Let's roll, soldiers," Chris told them, "Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds, and everything else within a 50-foot radius." A few minutes later, Paul was pulling off a tarp with different bombs underneath. "Are those paint bombs?" Lindsay asked as Izzy started collecting some.
"We've divided the camp into two halves," Chris explained. "Most creative and controlled splatter wins."
"Don't worry about the blast too much," Paul assured them. "Lacey and I got these protective panels up. As long as you don't do anything crazy, there's nothing to worry about."
"Talk about a challenge custom-made for me," Duncan boasted as he went through the bombs. "I'm all over this."
"Might I suggest you consult your friendly neighborhood chem expert?" Harold offered, "Because what is an explosion, other than the chemical reaction of trinitrotolene decomposing as C7-H5-N3-O6-3N2 plus 5H2O plus 7CO."
"That's the lingo Greggy uses!" Destiny realized.
"Try speaking English," Heather told him. Duncan walked off with some paint bombs. "I think we might have to stick with Duncan, honey," Leshawna told Harold.
"Why?" Harold asked.
"Vandal boy beats big chem nerd," Heather explained. "It's a simple equation." The duo walked off. "Chillax, Dweeb," Destiny assured him. "Your mad skills will come in handy soon."
On the Grips' side, Lindsay walked over, now wearing an admiral's hat and jacket. "Okay, minions," she began, "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness, is about to tell you how this is going to work." She looked at a chart with some confusion. "How is this going to work?" she whispered to Beth.
"What we need to do is lay the explosives in a wide, interlocking pattern to ensure maximum paint coverage," Beth explained.
"What an excellent plan we came up with. Okay, step to it, please."
"I'm way too weak to even think about working," Owen moaned as he laid on the ground.
"And my butt needs its beauty rest," Justin explained as he laid in a hammock. Lindsay and Beth knocked him out of his hammock. "Admiral Lindsay decrees that you will get up and work on this challenge!" Lindsay ordered.
"Is it getting hot out here?" Justin asked as he took off his shirt. "Now if you'll notice, I don't sport a six-pack. I've got twelve. That's a dozen smoking man dominos."
"Get to work, Lazybones," Beth told him as she walked off. Justin watched in shock. "This-this can't be right," he stuttered with panic. "Have I really lost my lady-controlling mojo? Say it ain't so!"
"It's so, Justin," Lindsay replied with a bored look.
"Time's up!" Chris announced. "Uh-oh, it looks like you didn't even get started." Beth was trying to drag Owen off the ground. "Not so fast, senor Chris," Izzy interrupted. She stood in the Grips' camp, which was loaded with paint bombs. "Whoa," Chris breathed out as he and the Grips walked over, "Now that's what I call thorough."
"Izzy, what did you do?" Owen asked.
"I didn't do it, Big O," Izzy told him. "It was my friend Explosivo. Explosivo is loco for BOOM-BOOM!" She gave a cackle, to Owen's concern. "Explosivo might be a good ally with Boomer," Lara noted as she and Lacey observed the scene through a pair of binoculars.
"Who?" Lacey asked.
"You've never played Skylanders, Lacey? Boomer, the troll, a Tech Skylander, has dynamite and a wicked troll smash?" Lacey was about to reply when she heard her cell phone ringing. "What now?" she murmured as she pulled it out of her pocket. "'For all the trouble you've had to burden, a little compensation. Sincerely, GLITCH.'" She scrolled down and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Lacey?" Lara wondered as she shook her arm. "Hey!" She gave her a pinch. "Ow!" Lacey yelled out. "Don't do that!"
Confessional: Lacey
"It was a check for 30,000 bucks into my family's account! I have no clue who this guy is, but that money can really help out back home, though I wonder where the money came from."
End Confessional
The Gaffers were gathered behind the safety panel. "Gaffers, are we ready?" Chris asked as he passed Duncan the detonator.
"Time for a little punk rock," Duncan declared. He pressed the detonator, setting off the explosions. The finished result was a green skull. "And who says vadalism doesn't pay," Chris announced as he walked off.
"As much as it pains me to say so," Harold admitted, "You did good, Duncan."
"Yeah, no kidding," Duncan boasted. "This is my world you're living in, Dork Boy." He poked Harold in the chest and walked off. Harold glared at the delinquent. "Calm down, Dweeb," Destiny assured him. "I know a way to get back at him...by improving his art." She pulled out another detonator and pressed it, setting off another small explosion. "Hey!" Duncan complained as he heard the blast. He ran over and looked in horror as the green skull now had a bright-pink bow on it. "My skull!"
"Nice bow, juvie boy!" Lacey teased as she saw the sight. Destiny and Harold giggled at the sight. "You're dead meat, Dorkus!" Duncan threatened.
"You'll have to kurder me first if you want the dweeb!" Destiny retaliated as she raised her fists. Leshawna had to keep the duo apart.
Chris was behind the Grips' safety panel. "I'm not liking the look of this," Lara gulped as she inched away.
"It'll be fine," Ethan assured her as Lacey and Paul joined the Grips. "Paul built the safety panels, so we'll be okay."
"Are we ready to blow it up?" Chris asked the Grips.
"Si, si," Izzy answered. "Explosivo is ready. Uno, dos, BOOM-BOOM!" Lara ducked as she pressed the detonator. Surprisingly, nothing happened. "Well, folks," Chris announced, "Looks like we're having some technical dif-" A huge explosion cut him short, covering him, the Grips and the interns in green paint. "Looks like those panels didn't hold up as well as you thought," Lacey informed Paul.
"He couldn't have predicted this," Ethan defended. "No one could."
"You have anything to say to defend you ruining my attire, Izzy?" Lara bitterly asked her.
"Explosivo is one crazy hombre," Izzy giggled.
"Explosive: yes," Chris replied with annoyance. "Creative and controlled: not so much." He walked over to the Gaffers. "The Gaffers are victorious!" The Gaffers cheered at the news. "It is my honor to present your prize," Chris continued, "The Big Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets!" Chef and Ethan wheeled over a fancy trunk. "You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more Total...Drama...Action!"
(cue commercial)
Leshawna was fanning a tired Owen. "Oh, poor baby," she told him, "You don't look so good!"
"I've got what you need right here, Owen," Lacey announced as she brought over a blender. "A tasty bran smoothie for your backed-up behind."
"No...bran...smoothie," Owen protested as he pushed the blender away. "I need bacon-cheese blendie."
"Need I remind you that bacon blendies got you here? Now drink!"
"I'll take it, Lacey," Leshawna cut in as she grabbed the blender. She quickly down the drink and gave a burp. She noticed her stomach gurgling. "That sounds a little like the time I ate ninety-two chili dogs on a dare," Owen noted. "It wasn't pretty."
"Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge," Chris announced. "It's a giant game of Capture the Flag, except in this case, the flag is the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets!"
"Oooh!" Destiny gushed. "Let me see!"
"No," Paul argued as he pulled her away from the trunk.
"I wana see what's inside!"
"Destiny..."
"GIVE IT!" The two began to fight. Lacey quickly pulled them away. "My three little brothers are more mature than you two," she commented as she held them up by their arms.
"I think she bit me!" Paul cried out as he held his hand.
"Oh," Destiny meekly said. "Sorry, Paul. But I just wanted a peek inside!"
"There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk," Chris informed her, "And that's to win the challenge."
"COME ON!"
"As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote and a peek inside. But be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brain to bits!"
"I need my brain," Harold told Chris.
"Not to worry. A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the gray matter back together."
"He's probably exaggerating, Sir Harold," Ethan assured him.
"Sir Harold'?" Duncan chuckled. "You crack me up, dude."
"But-"
"Leave Galahad here alone, Duncan," Destiny advised.
"My name's Ethan, Miss Destiny."
"Gaffers," Chris continued as he walked over to a tarp, "This is your base camp. Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities."
"Swiller!" Destiny exclaimed as Duncan and Harold carried the trunk over.
"Well, that was the plan," Ethan admitted, "But unfortunately, I lacked the time to construct such a structure."
"So," Chris finished, "We're gonna give you this!" Chef and Paul pulled the tarp, revealing a rusty building. "I think it's a toolshed," Chris guessed. The shed fell apart. "Was a tool shed," Chris said. "And as an added bonus, our interns Paul and Ethan will assist you."
"With Miss McMunchy here?" Paul complained as he pointed to Destiny. "Are you nuts?"
"I think that disdain is exactly why he decided that," Harold reasoned.
"Won't that be a bit unfair to the Grips?" Ethan wondered.
"They'll get Lacey and Lara," Chris replied. "So, good luck." He walked off. "The girls won't be glappy to hear they'll be partnered with Izzy AKA Explosivo," Destiny commented.
"WHAT?!" Lacey shouted off-screen. "YOU'VE GOT TO BE-" Some censored bleeps were heard. "KIDDING ME!"
"Called it."
"How are we gonna defend this big old trunk of secrets with no fort?" Leshawna wondered.
"We'll put our heads together and come up with a group plan," Harold suggested.
"You do whatever you want," Duncan decided. "I'm gonna go set some booby traps."
Confessional: Harold (Screaming Gaffers)
"He said booby!"
End Confessional
"In First World War movies," Harold informed the others as he passed out some shovels, "They always have underground hiding places, foxholes."
"If I'm digging," Leshawna commented, "We're gonna have to call it a 'foxy hole'."
"Let's get digging," Ethan decided. He, Leshawna, Heather and Paul started to dig. "Duncan," Harold told him, "The rest of us have agreed on an actual plan. If you wouldn't mind, we could use a little help."
"If you wouldn't mind," Duncan argued as he set up a net, "I could use a little of you shutting your useless piehole. I'm busy!" He ran off.
Confessional: Harold (Screaming Gaffers)
"I have had it with Duncan. I've been giving my all since day one. Then Mister Too Cool to Care suddenly wakes up and everyone falls all over him. He might be standing tall after that first challenge, but the taller the mohawk, the harder it falls."
End Confessional
"Hey, General Dweeb," Destiny called out as she skipped over. "Permission to scout the opposition to see their course of action?"
"Please, Harold," Paul breathed out, "Give us some time away from that...that...chick."
"Granted," Harold sighed, "But how will you sneak by?" Destiny took out a costume and placed it over her, making her look like a shrub. "Wish me luck," Destiny giggled as she tip-toed towards the Grips.
"Admiral, what's going on?" Beth asked as Lindsay looked through a pair of binoculars.
"Well, Duncan and Destiny sort of disappeared," Lindsay answered, "And the rest of them are digging a hole for some weird reason."
"I recommend we attack immediately."
"I second that," Lacey agreed. "We catch them off-guard with all our power."
"Team," Lindsay ordered, "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness, says it's time we attack."
"First, Admiral Lindsay," Izzy spoke up, "A suggestion, um, from Explosivo."
"NO," Lacey firmly answered.
"Let's hear it out first," Lara suggested.
"He says we make a Trojan taco," Izzy explained.
"Ooh, I love Mexican food!" Lindsay gushed.
"Okay, first we make a giant taco shell five kilometers wide. Then we load it with beef, beans, cheese..."
"And jalapenos? I like it spicy."
"Si. Muy muy caliente. But the salsa, my friends, the salsa we'll make from TNT!" Owen, Justin and Lara got shocked looks. "We bring the Trojan taco to their camp," Izzy continued, "They take a tasty bite and then, BOOM-BOOM!" Everyone stared at Izzy. "People," Lindsay spoke up," Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness, decrees that although Mexican food is very tasty, we will NOT be making the Trojan taco."
"What about attacking?" Lacey impatiently asked her.
"We are going to attack! So...let's get down there and fight." Owen, Justin and Izzy gave a moan. "Now listen, peeps," Lindsay told them, "I know you're frightened of going into battle, but I'm here to say be strong, be fierce, be fericious. Go and fight for that trunk like it's Boxing Day and you're fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants. SHOW NO MERCY!" Justin, Izzy, Owen, Beth and Lara cheered as they ran down the hill. "I'll be here when you're done," Lindsay said.
"Why isn't 'Her Hotness' getting into battle?" Lacey wondered.
"We have to hold down the fort. Keep things in order. Let's see...everything's here from the lights to that shrub."
"What shrub?" Lacey and Lindsay went towards a shrub. "That one," Lindsay pointed out. "Hi, shrub!"
"Hi, Linds!" the shrub answered.
"Wait a minute," Lacey realized, "Shrubs can't talk!"
"Uh, ignore Lacey, Linds. She must've caught something from the fumes of her motorcycle." Lacey pulled the foliage away, revealing Destiny hidden inside. "Heh-heh-heh," Destiny nervously giggled. "Hey, girls. What's shaking?"
"Spying on the Grips, are you?" Lacey challenged as she readied her fists. Destiny got a look of worry. A moment later, she was tossed into a trash bin. "No more Gaffer garbage," Lacey declared.
The rest of the Grips and Lara charged to where they saw the Gaffers but were surprised to see nothing. "Where are they?" Beth wondered. "I just saw them." Unknown to them, Leshawna, Heather, Harold, Paul and Ethan were hiding under their foxhole. Suddenly, Leshawna's stomach gave a rumble. "I'm bloating up like a pufferfish," she whispered as she backed up, "And when it blows..."
"Leshawna, you are not farting in here!" Heather warned in a whisper. "Not only will it be disgusting, the sound will give us away!"
"But there's an air baby in here and it wants to be born!" Heather, Harold, Paul and Ethan looked at each other. Soon, Leshawna was seated. Harold and Ethan rubbed her feet while Heather stood behind her. "Hush, little baby, don't you cry," Heather sang in a whisper, "If you do, we'll surely die!"
"Harold, baby," Leshawna breathed out, "I'm sorry for lying. It was wrong. Can you forgive me?"
"I will if you keep holding it-" Harold answered. Leshawna gave a fart. "In," Harold coughed out. The Grips and Lara were walking back when they heard Leshawna's farts. Harold and Paul peeked out of the foxhole. "There they are!" Lara announced. "They burrowed like Terrafin! Get them!" They raced towards them but were caught in Duncan's net. Duncan swung over and cut a rope, sending the group flying. They crashed over where Lindsay was napping in her chair. "There's..." Justin panicked as he put a hand to his cheek, "There's a...there's a scratch. My face can't continue to take all this abuse! I'm losing it! You gotta let me go on leave, Admiral Lindsay."
"Are you buying this?" Lindsay asked Beth and Lacey.
"Nope," the duo replied.
"Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness, says to drop the crazy act, okay?" The three girls walked off. "Izzy, you're sort of female, right?" Justin asked her. "Can you help? I mean, I had Lindsay and Beth wrapped around my finger and now I'm getting zero play. What's the deal?"
"Honestly, I never really got it," Izzy answered. "I don't think you're so cute."
"Like I care what you think." Justin walked off. "Know what he's talking about?" Lara asked Owen.
Confessional: Justin (Killer Grips)
"Me, not cute." He gave a nervous laugh. "I tell you who's not cute: blind, crazy people named Izzy!"
End Confessional
"You think I'm cute, right?" Owe asked Izzy.
"Course," Izzy replied. "You're super cute."
"That's great, Iz. Because even though I'm weak and torn down, I still really like you."
"That's nice, Big O. But Explosivo, Explosivo loves two just two things. The first is boom. The second is boom. Put them together and what do you get?" Owen and Lara got worried looks. "Boom-boom?" the duo nervously answered.
"Ole!" Izzy happily answered.
"What's going on in here?" Duncan asked as he and a trash-covered Destiny ran inside the foxhole.
"I'm trying not to puke is all," Heather answered as she, Harold, Paul and Ethan held their noses.
"Y'all, I really think it might be over now," Leshawna assured them as she laid on the trunk. "I'm feeling much-" She let out another fart. "Ugh!" Heather gagged. "I am out!" The smell reached Duncan's nose. "It smells like blue cheese in here," Duncan whispered as he covered his nose.
"I'm so sorry," Leshawna apologized. "I feel like I really let the team down."
"You think? Harold, what have you been doing all this time?"
"Trying to keep the team together," Harold answered, "No thanks to you or Miss Toxic Emissions here."
"Be mad at Chef," Leshawna put in, "He made the stupid smoothies."
"But you drank the stupid smoothies," Destiny pointed out.
"You can't do anything right," Duncan angrily told Harold. "You're an idiot."
"At least I'm here," Harold argued. "At least I'm trying."
"Yeah," Destiny defended. "At least I asked to scout ahead, unlike you. What kind of Marine leaves his squad all alone?" She noticed a mouse in her tangled hair. "Hi, Mousey," she gushed as she grabbed it and cuddled it. Leshawna farted again. "Dude, we gotta get out of here!" Duncan declared as he fanned the air. He ran towards the exit but Harold blocked the way. "Not until you say we're a team," Harold decided.
"Who cares when we're gonna die of toxic butt poisoning?" Duncan argued.
"Gentlemen, please!" Ethan cut in as he stood between them. "Duncan, please say you value the contributions Harold provides to the Gaffers." Another gurgle was heard. "That ominous warning usually means a really bad one is coming," Harold noted.
"There are worse ones?" Duncan asked with concern. "You're not a complete loser, okay? I value the small portion of you that isn't a loser. Can we go now?"
"Let's move, then," Ethan told the two boys.
"That was good for Galahad here," Destiny told the mouse, "Even if he's pretty as a babboon's butt."
"Um, thanks?"
"Oh, yeah," Paul commented. "Let's go."
Confessional: Paul
"Ethan has guts. Any longer and Juvie Hall and General Dweeb would've choked each other out." He gave a sigh as a slight blush came to his cheeks. "What a man."
End Confessional
Harold, Duncan, Ethan, Paul and Destiny moved Leshawna and the trunk outside the foxhole. Destiny noticed Lacey charging down the hill. "Sweet Metallica!" she cried out. "We're gonna get clobbered!"
"Not yet," Paul told him as she grabbed her arm. "Ethan, can you help me? Destiny's gonna go scouting again."
"Wait, what?" Ethan grabbed Destiny's other arm. "Are you sure?" he asked Paul.
"Trust me," Paul assured him. "And...heave!" They flung Destiny towards Lacey, knocking her over. Lacey growled at her until she noticed Destiny's mouse now tangled in her bandana.
Confessional: Lacey
"I may have a very mild phobia of rats."
End Confessional
"AHHHHHHH!" Lacey shrieked as the mouse looked at her. She dashed off, trying to shake the mouse out of her hair. "Bye, mousey!" Destiny exclaimed with a wave.
"That takes care of the biggest threat on the Grips," Paul breathed out. They noticed Lara and the Grips charging at them. "NO MERCY!" Lindsay rallied as she led them.
"Six of them," Duncan noticed, "Five of us. Don't like these odds."
"Well," Harold replied, "We do have a secret weapon." He pulled out his yo-yo. "The num-yo?" Duncan asked. "We're dead meat!"
"And we're not strong enough to beat them with our fists," Paul added. The Grips and Lara were almost to them. "I respect your strength," Harold declared, "But I will defeat you."
"As will I," Ethan added as he held up his shield. "Ready to assist, Sir Harold." Duncan and Paul froze at the Grips' incoming charge. They heard another gurgle coming from Leshawna. The boys turned her around just before she let out a huge fart, engulfing Harold and the Grips. A few blows were heard, and once the gas cleared up, the Grips were all in a pile as Harold stood victorious. "What can I say?" Duncan admitted as he, Paul and Destiny joined his side. "You did good. You did real good."
"The team did good," Harold pointed out. The group headed back, unaware that Lara was creeping up from behind. "AHA!" she declared as she lunged at them with two blades. Duncan, Harold, Destiny and Paul froze in shock. Ethan, however, went to action and blocked her attack with his shield, knocking her out. "Too close," Harold breathed out. "Thanks for your quick thinking, Ethan."
"Just doing my duty," Ethan humbly replied.
"Paul?" Destiny wondered as she waved a hand over the mechanic's stunned face. "Paul!" She got an annoyed look. "AHHHHH!" she screamed into Paul's ear.
"OW!" Paul cried out as he put a hand over his ear. "What the heck was that for?!"
"You were acting wunny."
"No, I wasn't."
"Uh-huh. Let me put on my skepticals." Destiny put her hands around her eyes like a pair of glasses. "You're a nut," Paul scoffed as he walked off.
"Skepticals," Destiny repeated.
"Time's up," Chris announced as he walked over. "The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner's circle. That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own tonight. And now, it's time to reveal to the winners the mind-blowing secrets within this trunk. Here's what you were fighting for, teams." The trunk opened and Harold, Duncan and Destiny looked inside. "All this sadness," Duncan gasped.
"All these tears," Harold added.
"Dude, no tears. That was just our eyes watering off Leshawa's butt blasts."
"Still, all this hatred, for what?"
"An empty trunk."
"The madness of war."
"WHY?!" the duo cried out. They soon left, leaving Destiny alone with the box. "Hmm..." she thought as she felt inside the box. "If the ground can hide people, then maybe this box is hiding something, too."
"Give it up, Rock Star," Chris teased as he, Ethan and Paul watched her. "There-" He was surprised to hear a CLICK sound. Destiny pulled out a panel from inside the trunk and pulled out a small statue that looked like Chris's head. "Is this-?" she gasped as she eyed it. "It is! An invincibility statue! EEEE!"
"Which one of you geniuses put that in?" Chris asked Ethan and Paul.
"If you must know," Ethan began, "It was-"
"I did it," Paul cut in as he covered Ethan's mouth. "The panel, the statue, everything was all me."
Confessional: Paul
"Okay, Ethan set that all up. I just saw him in the shed carving that stuff with his sword. That's what he spet that time on instead of that fort. But I was afraid he would get in trouble with Chris, so I took the credit."
End Confessional
"Don't get in an uproar, McLean," Paul nervously assured an annoyed Chris. "That statue has a catch to it."
"Catch?" Destiny wondered.
"Yeah. It can only be used after the merge. It's right there on the bottom." Destiny looked at the bottom of the statue and saw Only valid after merge carved out. "Rats!" she cursed out.
"You know," Chris thought, "I like this twist. Well done, intern."
"So I'm not in trouble?" Paul hoped.
"Oh, you're still in trouble. Guess who's feeding Fang tonight?" Paul gulped as Chris walked off.
Later, the Killer Grips were at the Gilded Chris ceremony. "This one's a nail-biter," Chris, in his usual blue tuxedo, began. "I'd say no one's safe tonight. Lindsay, how do you feel about your chances?"
"Let's face it, Chris," Lindsay admitted, "It was my lousy admiraling that cost us the challenge. If I go home tonight, I won't blame anyone."
"I think you did decently," Lacey told her as she and Lara joined them. "You were the one that noticed the shrub that hid the Gaffers' spy."
"Then there's Izzy," Chris continued. "You overdid it on the first challenge and cost your team an important victory. Will it be your crazy bum sitting in the Lame-O-Sine tonight for the second time?"
"Explosivo does not answer most questions," Izzy told him.
"Justin, Beth and Lindsay seem to have kind of left your corner, pretty boy. Are you worried?"
"No, I never worry," Justin casually replied. "Causes wrinklage."
"You should," Lara pointed out. "You contributed the least out of the Grips."
"Alright, then," Chris announced as he got the votes. "The votes have been tabulated. So, it's time to present the awards. Tonight, the Gilded Chris goes to Beth, Lindsay and Owen. And now, only two nominees left." Justin had a neutral look while Izzy gave a smile. "The final award goes to...Justin." Justin flashed a smile as he caught the last award. "Hey," Izzy said with surprise.
"I'll miss you, Iz," Owen told her. He tried to give her a kiss but Lacey pulled her away.
Confessional: Lara
"How did this happen? Sure, I don't like the 'Explosivo' side of Izzy, but I would've bet money that Justin would get the boot."
Confessional: Justin (Killer Grips)
"I'm not saying I voted for Izzy just because she said I'm not cute. Okay, it was just because of that. Thing is, Beth and Lindsay told me they were sending me home. So you see? I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to shake things up with my new patented all-time lady-killing mega-flip." He flipped his hair and posed. "I'm back, baby."
End Confessionals
"Well," Chris narrated, "We finally got rid of Little Miss Weird and Weirder. Again. For the last time, hopefully. Catch you next time on Total...Drama...Action! At ease."
Episode eleven is finally here! Izzy got the boot again, Justin lost and regained his charm, and Leshawna was used in the name of war. Admiral Lindsay got a few minor tweaks, like in the elimination ceremony she didn't put blame on her bestie Beth. Harold and Duncan's feud has reached a bit of peace, but might it last? Hmm...
And yes, I decided to include the invincibility statue, though this time it has a catch that the user can only use it after the merge. When might it be played? (Well, I already know, but you can guess.)
The interns, Paul, Ethan, Lacey and Lara, are OCs created by LaCuevademisgustos.
Now for a war-themed movie quote:
"Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." Gen. George Patton
-From Patton
The next episode will be the second Aftermath and we'll check on the eliminated, which now includes the likes of a teddy bear and an Olympian. Until next time, this is Dunsparce519 saying enjoy and have a good day.