Lucius Walker: Heyo, welcome back! And my oh my was this chapter quite different than the others.
Some more character building for Control Freak, as well as a series of stories that happened during Vent's absence.
Nice way to jump through the episodes without nearly completely dismissing them. Love it.
Re: I mean, Eugene could've made for a hell of a "Nerdy Hero" if he applied himself. I feel like he only did the Villain thing because he could have "more fun". I have big plans for him in Young Justice: The Hunter~
I mean… I just really hated it when writers would repeat Episodes almost-verbatim for their chapter just to ramp up word count…
danielsnow: loved it, pretty funny chapter.
I would like to request kitten jumping on vents bone! I really wanna know who does it first with him.
Re: My Ao3 story Ride the Wind will cover the possibly-Fanon/possibly-offshot occurrences.
It was always the plan to do as such, but I needed a Starting Point, and Ravager almost killing him seemed like a good one.
(Guest): It would be very awesome if the Titans went to TV land for a training montage
Would be cool if they learned the gates, Kaioken and Ki (since Ki would probably translate better in dc when they get back)
The tamaranians be in their element in dbz
Would be awesome for robin if he could unlock the gates too
Maybe Ventus and terra could go on a training trip on being an esper
Like to a certain scientific railgun
He'd be a monster (more of a monster really)
He'd be like tatsumaki lite
Would be awesome if beastboy went to Pokémon to train
With maybe cyborg as a trainer and BB as the Pokémon
It would be super awesome
Re: That sounds like it could be its own FanFiction, and while entertaining to contemplate, Eugene is massively on Probation…
That and hopping around through the TV sent out radio waves that threatened to melt people's brains… That or the "brain melting" was some social commentary the animators snuck in~
*TEEN TITANS*
"So Cyborg…" Ventus hummed a few days later after Starfire and Silkie finished their… clean-up. "I hear you fought Adam Smasher in the simulator."
"I did."
"Quick question: How the hell are you still alive?"
"We had the safeties on."
"And he still wrecked your shit that badly?"
"We're still refining the process," Eugene and Beast Boy stated.
"That or Adam Smasher's just that much of a beast even with safeties," Cyborg said rolling his shoulder.
"Well, you'll excuse me if I abstain from using the augmented Danger Room until you iron all the kinks out," Ventus hummed.
"Yeah, no shit," Raven said rolling her eyes, since she'd been the one asked to heal the organic parts of Cyborg's body that Adam Smasher had fucked up.
"Well it sounds like you all had fun~" Blackfire smirked cattily.
*TEEN TITANS*
"Man, Jump City really went all out for this Fourth of July, didn't they?" Kitten asked as fiery flowers of reactive metal bloomed in the sky.
"Well, they did manage to bounce back from a paramilitary occupation aftermultiple alien attacks," Blackfire hummed.
"Wasn't one of those alien attacks because of you though? Or, you know… both of them?"
"And?" the former dictator hummed, quirking a brow.
"Oh my! Look at all of the lovely colors!" Starfire awed as fiery flowers bloomed throughout the sky. While nowhere near the grandeur of the official fireworks show, those fired from atop office buildings and even on the shoreline were still spirited in their own right. "Please. This is a celebration of the month of July, or of the number four?" she inquired innocently.
"Neither. It's Independence Day, sorta like America's birthday," Robin replied, allowing himself to relax.
"Oh! Should we then bake the America a cake?"
"No cake, and no tea!" Beast Boy cried.
"What's your beef?" Raven huffed.
"See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party in Boston. King George, or maybe it was King Norm, anyway… the British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea, but they were like- 'Dude! No way! We're sick of nasty, old tea and your crummy, English muffins!' So then they decided- 'Revolution!' 'No taxation without representation!' and 'Apple Pie!'" the changeling summarized. Badly.
"Where'd you learn your history? A cereal box?" Raven huffed.
"What's your point?" the changeling blinked.
"Just for the record, the colonists did have representation; they just didn't vote for their representative in Parliament," Wintergreen cut in.
"And how would you know that?" Beast Boy asked, Wintergreen giving the changeling an icy look. " . . . I retract my previous statement…"
"As well you should."
"Okay, the fireworks should be starting in five… four… three… two…"
Robin and the Titans' countdown however was intercepted by a wall of static. The static soon gave way to a face that was instantly-recognizable to most of the Titans, his Cockney accent like nails on a chalkboard.
"Hello, my duckies."
"Gugh! It's like nails on a chalkboard!" Beast Boy cried.
"So sorry to interrupt, you're your revolution will not be televised. Matter of fact, it's been outright canceled… as in, it never happened!" the British super-patriot announced as he twirled his bejeweled cane, the screen then shifting to a black-and-white hypnotic pattern.
"Don't look!" Robin shouted snapping his eyes shut and turning away. The other Titans did so as well, but Blackfire, the least-familiar with the Titans' own rogues' gallery, quirked an eyebrow as she stared up at the screen. Her consciousness beginning to fade however, the next moment she was tackled to the floor by Ventus, his arms cradling her head as he shielded her eyes with his body.
"You American colonies have been rebellious long enough. I'm reclaiming this city in the name of jolly old England!" Mad Mod said as a crown settled on his head, which had superimposed itself over the hypnotic spiral. "And you lot had best bow down before your new ruler, King Moddy the First! . . . That would be me~"
" . . . So his entire 'bit' is that he's British?" Wintergreen inquired after shutting off the TV.
"Yeah, pretty much," Ventus answered as he helped Blackfire to her feet, the young woman blinking her dark-violet eyes.
"Cripes, they really are running out of gimmicks, aren't they?"
"So he's hypnotizing the entire city. Now what?" Kitten asked looking out the window, almost all of the celebration dying out within the first few moments of Mad Mod's pirated broadcast..
"Oh, that's another change we made," Eugene said hopping into one of the consoles. "See, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and I set up some hardware to automatically track the source of pirated TV signals whenever one of your rogue's gallery pulls something like this in your living room."
"You mean like you did?" Robin inquired.
"Yeah, pretty much," Beast Boy shrugged. "There," he said pointing at a map of the city.
"He's broadcasting from the subways," Raven hummed.
"Then that's where we hit him," Robin said pounding a fist.
*TEEN TITANS*
"The American Revolution was a hoax. The Declaration of Independence is a tissue of lies. There is no George Washington, and there never was. And from now on, they're not 'cookies', they're called 'biscuits'!" Say it with me… 'biiiissss-cuuuuiiiittttssss,'" Mad Mod lectured from the confines of his hijacked subway train, live feeds of Jump City's revelers showing them all to be sufficiently brainwashed. "There, now. We'll have you unruly Yanks acting like proper Brits in time for tea."
The subway car shaking, the next moment the back wall of his compartment blew inward.
"Class dismissed, Mod. Your twisted history lesson is over!" Robin announced.
"Yeah! Britain lost, America won; get over it!" Kitten snapped.
"Oh is it now, my little snot?" Mod asked as he ambled his hand toward a button on the console. Ventus lunging at him with literal super-human speed Robin couldn't match, Mod was forced to desperately clamp his hand on the button, a transparent screen preventing any more of the Titans from getting into his personal bubble.
"Seriously, what's your whole deal?" Ventus asked intercepting the haft of Mod's cane when the man tried to bean him with it, the two working their hands upward like kids with a bat to decide which team goes to lead-off in a baseball game. "What, did you get crammed into your locker one too many times because you were the only British kid in a sea of 'Yanks'?"
"I'll have you know that I'm a patriot. Isn't that what this bloody holiday of yours is all about?"
"It's a celebration of American patriotism. Britains have a whole separate thing going for them."
"Wait, they do?" Beast Boy blinked from behind the glass, the others pounding on it to little effect.
"Come to think of it, what do Brits do on the Fourth of July?"
"Equal parts bemusement and sneering. 'Happy Freedom Day, America – enjoy your guns, booze, and expensive healthcare'," Mod sneered as he raised his thumb and pressed it to the silver mount on his cane.
The next moment the two of them were bathed in a crimson light, the Titans' shadows stretching outwards, Ventus crying in pain and Mad Mod cackling in anguish as spectral energy spilled out of the wind-wielder's mouth and into the Brit's own. A final flash nearly blinding the Titans, when they managed to blink the spots out, Mad Mod had become noticeably younger, carrying himself with a proper British posture and clad in the sort of ensemble worn by boys at British private schools, while also bringing to mind the one favored by AC/DC guitarist Angus Young.
At first the Titans were nonplussed; Mod had used hologram technology to fabricate his age before.
However, when their eyes landed on Ventus, who fell to his knees, their eyes widened with shock.
In place of his casual attire (jean shorts, sneakers, a windbreaker, and a Captain America T-Shirt for the occasion), Ventus was now clad in khaki pants, dress shoes, a turtleneck sweater, and a trench coat. Not only that, but he was an old man with messy gray hair while sporting a thick, well-trimmed beard that his sideburns ran into.
"VEN!" Terra cried out in shock.
"Hah! Now that'll put the peas back in your porridge!" Mad Mod sneered.
"You! Change him back! Change him back right now dammit!" Kitten swore as she conjured a drill construct on her arm and started shearing into the transparent barrier.
"Sorry, love, but like I've always said, 'youth is wasted on the young.' Ta-ra, Titans!" he said throwing a lever, the loud *BANG-BANG-BANG!* of exploding bolts and a jerking of the floor causing the Titans to flinch as the train car they were in split in half, Mad Mod taking Ventus and the glass barrier with him as his half of the train car zipped off with rocket power.
Moments later, the train car the Titans were on was redirected to an adjoining tunnel, the Titans screaming toward a large barricade.
"Brace for impact!"
"Oh shit! This is gonna suck!"
Raven, Terra, and Kitten pulling defensive walls of darkness, metal, and hard-light around themselves and those immediately beside them respectively, moments later the train cart derailed itself, leaping up through an underground station before flying up into the city street above. To the Titans' confusion, the ambient light was like mid-day instead of night, but that confusion soon gave way to shock and horror as they beheld their city, which now looked like a tribute to the Liverpudlian scenery from the Yellow Submarine's "Eleanor Rigby" segment. Not to mention that the entire sky had been transformed into a Union Jack flag.
Public transportation vehicles had also been replaced with red AEC Routemasters, but that was less of an immediate concern…
"Um… Are we on 'the high'?" Starfire inquired, rubbing at her eyes.
"Nope, I'm seeing it too…" Cyborg said alternating between his organic and cybernetic eyes.
"Okay, seriously, how in the hell did he do this…?" Kitten asked incredulously. Compared to her father's "Mothra-with-mange" plan, this was some Infinity Gauntlet-levels of BS…
"Extra, extra, read all 'bout it! King Moddy teaches Titans a lesson!" a street-urchin paperboy announced holding up a fresh newspaper, the headline featuring a photograph of 'Old Man Ventus' tied to a chair and also 'old man napping', Mad Mod at his side with an arm thrown over his shoulders giving a peace sign.
"I mean… at least he isn't hurt or anything…" Terra said somewhat relieved.
*Clomp*Clomp*Clomp*Clomp*
"What was that?" Robin asked.
"Guys… We've got a problem," Terra said pointing over her shoulder toward a large formation of broad-chested robots styled after Beefeater guards marching toward them with shouldered muskets. To make matters worse, their chests opened up revealing Mad Mod's hypnoscreens.
"Hit 'em hard, hit 'em fast, and whatever you do, don't look at the hypnoscreens!" Cyborg said firing off his cannon, the first staggered only for others to march around it.
*TEEN TITANS*
"Okay seriously, where the hell do these guys keep getting their robot armies?!" Kitten demanded angrily.
They'd been able to handle the Beefeater-bots handily enough, only losing Beast Boy to a Cockney accent that made him "sound like a rock star" as he put it. However, once the French FT-17s and Supermarine Spitfire fighter planes began showing up, the Titans fell back so they wouldn't get "party wiped".
At the moment, the Teen Titans were concealing themselves under the Jump City Bridge, which in the wake of Mad Mod's retrofit, now resembled a low, arch-supported stone structure.
"Am I the only one who noticed it's suddenly evening again?" Kitten asked as Beast Boy nattered on about the squaddies not fancying a swim.
"Makes me wonder what this all looks like from space…" Terra hummed as Raven yanked the coiffure off Beast Boy's head before slapping him upside the head with it.
"Dude! Why'd you-? Sweet! I'm American!"
"You're welcome," Raven said flatly.
"No, but seriously, where the hell did Mad Mod get that sort of hardware? Even Slade didn't steamroll jump with anything more than robot ninjas," Kitten continued.
"Foreign interests, maybe?" Blackfire ventured, causing the others to stare at her. "What? It makes sense. If Mad Mod wins, Britain gets a foothold with plausible deniability to rebuild their empire, and if he loses, they disavow his actions. It might not be inter-planetary politics like in the Vega System, but in the small scale it isn't hard to imagine."
"Regardless of whether or not Britain is funding Mad Mod's quest for power, we need a plan," Robin said, fuming that despite all his efforts, he couldn't match pace with Ventus due to his super-soldier serum.
"We need to stop Mad Mod, save Vent, and take back the city. I know they're tough, but we gotta tackle his tin toys head-on; full frontal assault!" Cyborg said banging a fist into his palm.
"No. Friend Ventus should be our first priority. In his infirmed state, there is no telling what deranged torments Mod is subjecting him to…" Starfire said somberly.
*TEEN TITANS*
"Where's my split-pea soup, you damn hipster?!" 'Old Man Ventus' demanded as he beaned 'King Moddie' upside the head with a walking stick.
"I'm 'alf-tempted to throw you out on your bum and let the Titans take you back…" Mad Mod said shielding his crown, only letting this fly because they were out of the public eye, and his own granddad had gone off his rocker toward the end of his own life.
*TEEN TITANS*
"You're both wrong. Mad Mod is the crux in all this, so we need to sneak into his control room and take him down. Everything else will follow," Raven argued.
"No way. What we need to do is go underground! Organize a resistance movement, starting with a trained gerbil army!" Beast Boy said doing a passable impersonation on George C. Scott's famous speech from Patton.
"ENOUGH!" Robin shouted as Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy started arguing amongst themselves. "Arguing solves nothing. We need to pick a plan and stick with it. Preferably before Jump City falls under national scrutiny. We already lost the city to supervillain occupation once. If it happens again, and we lose the people's trust…"
"It might not look like it, but this is still America. I say we vote," Cyborg said raising a hand. "Who's up for a full frontal assault?" he asked raising his hand.
"Rescue Ventus," Starfire offered.
"Sneak attack," Raven cut in.
"Gerbil Commandos!" Beast Boy grinned. " . . . Actually, training gerbils takes forever. I vote for Starfire's plan."
"What about you three?" Robin asked turning to Terra, Kitten, and Blackfire.
"I'm fond of Cyborg's plan, but that's just my warrior bloodline talking," Blackfire shrugged.
"We need to get Venty back. Who knows what kind of drafty, British prison Mod's keeping him in?" Kitten said turning to the London-esque skyline.
"I say Raven's plan is the right call. Cut the head off the snake and the rest follows. And I think you all know how-potent a sneak attack can actually be if executed properly," Terra stated.
"If I voted for any plan other than Starfire's, it'd just cause another deadlock…" Robin hummed, crossing his arms. "If Kid Flash were here too, there would be a tie-breaker, but-"
"Hey, shouldn't we call Wintergreen in on this? I mean, he's British too, and Venty is kind of his 'young master'," Kitten hummed.
"And hey, even if we can't get Mod's cane right away, the Dog Talisman would get him mobile again…" Terra nodded. "I wonder if being an old man would make his wind powers stronger, or weaker…"
"Where is the Tower anyway?" Beast Boy asked looking into the bay. "I don't see it anywhere."
"Maybe try the onlytower sitting on an island all by itself…" Raven said pointing a finger into the middle of the bay, Titans Tower now resembling Blackpool Tower.
"I mean, at least it doesn't look like Big Ben…" Kitten hummed.
"Can we even get in touch with him?" Cyborg asked.
"I'm already here."
"JESUS!" the Titans yelped as Wintergreen stepped out of the shadows to their backs; exactingly like his former master used to do.
"Wintergreen, how'd you even get here?" Terra asked.
"I took the young master's car," he said gesturing to the T-Con, which was hovering off to the side.
"Oh…" she blinked. "Anyway, I know this might be asking a lot, but we need you to help us stop Mod after we rescue Ven."
"Sure."
"Wait, that's it?" Beast Boy blinked. "You're not even going to try and defend this new London?"
"Resurrecting the empire isn't as simple as re-taking some American soil and taking a revisionist stance on American history. The British Empire disintegrated as a consequence of many things accumulated over many, many years; not just the American Revolution and dissolution of the North American Colonies. And honestly, if he truly wanted to re-take a slice of America 'for jolly old England', he should've gone with Boston, Massachusetts, the Cradle of Liberty. All of this is just an ego-trip because he got beaten by a bunch of 'meddling kids'," Wintergreen summarized. "Also, unlike myself who has aged with grace and dignity like a fine wine despite the fall of the empire, Mod has aged like milk; spoiled, rotten, and ruining my meal."
"Ah, well, at least we won't have to go on some sort of side-quest-y Loyalty Mission…" the changeling hummed.
"I also had the wherewithal to fetch these from the armory," he said holding up a small attache case, opening it up for their purview.
"Contact lenses?" Kitten blinked.
"They'll block out Neil's hypnotic screens from re-writing your brains."
"Who?" Beast Boy blinked.
"Neil Richards. That's Mad Mod's real name," Robin deadpanned.
"Wait, that's his real name?" Kitten blinked. "I thought it'd be something with 'Mod' in it. That or at least the letter M…"
"Wait, if he's British, why wasn't he extradited after your first run-in?" Terra asked.
"The UK didn't care enough to file the transfer, nor did Mad Mod ask. Allegedly," Robin answered.
"How'd he get out of jail anyway?" Cyborg asked.
"We can sort out the hows, whos, and whys later. Right now, don't we have something more pressing to deal with?" Blackfire huffed brusquely.
*TEEN TITANS*
Wintergreen, being functionally invisible within the bounds of Mad Mod's little fiefdom as well as wholly unaffected by his hypnoscreens, was able to move about Jump City completely unnoticed. He hardly needed the Dog Talisman to do so, though there was definitely a slowness of movement to him once he'd handed the magical octagon over.
After Raven ferried everyone back to the shoreline, to avoid notice by Mad Mod's mechanical army, the Titans crossed the city's underground, which in their current state resembled the Catacombs, down to the skulls and bones lining some of the walls.
"Geez, Mod really went all-out, didn't he?" Beast Boy asked.
"Don't get too comfortable. We're almost at the edge of the city," Raven hummed.
"Where is the Mad Mod keeping our friend?" Starfire inquired.
"According to his locator, Ventus' is being kept in the maximum security prison," Robin answered looking down at his T-Comm.
"What do you think that'll look like?" Beast Boy asked.
*TEEN TITANS*
As it turned out, the Supermax Prison had been visually transformed to look like the Tower of London, its original white-armored contingent of guards stripped of their tactical armor to instead resemble Beefeater guards; the vacant expressions on their faces and the drool running down their jaw was hint at how their compliance had been established. That the would-be king hadn't orchestrated a mass break-out of the worst offenders like Slade had before was the only consolation prize to be had; he probably didn't want a bunch of "yanks" trying to overthrow him in the event they wouldn't renounce their American citizenship.
"This smells like a trap…" Raven hummed as they clung to the shadows outside the prison.
"Perhaps, but there is little to none choice in the matter if we want to retrieve our friend," Starfire hummed somberly.
"So, who's going in?" Terra asked. "Because if we all go in, we're going to blow our cover within the first five seconds," she said eyeing the eight of them. "That or the other prisoners will rat on us."
"We have the numbers, so we could branch off and try Cyborg's plan while the infiltration team makes a grab for Ventus," Robin hummed, scribbling everyone's faces in the dirt with a Birdarang. "It's possible a full-frontal assault in the heart of the city would pull Mod's forces away from the prison, making it easier on the infiltration team in the event they have to go loud, either on the way in or out."
"Obviously I'm going loud and proud," Cyborg said extending a screwdriver from his finger and drawing a down arrow under his picture, pointing away from the prison.
"I'm with you. Now that I don't have to worry about getting brain-jacked, I want a little payback," Beast Boy said punching his hand. The special contacts were a little irritating, but now that his brain was wash-proof, he could go all-out without worry.
"I'm getting Venty out of there," Kitten hummed.
"In that outfit?" Raven asked with a raised brow at her ostentatious violent accents.
"I've got something for that~" the Star Sapphire grinned.
"Kori, I know this was your plan, but I feel like the two of us would be better suited taking the fight to Mod. Out of everyone here, the two of us have the most raw stopping power," Blackfire suggested.
"You and your sister go with Cyborg. I'll lead the exfiltration mission," Robin said putting an up arrow on his own picture.
"I'm no slouch at stealth either, so I'm going in there," Terra hummed.
"No, you'd be better suited on Cyborg's team. Three is already a crowd and unlike you, I can teleport us out of there in an instant," Raven interjected. "And it isn't like you could tunnel a way in without setting off the alarms; not with how-much damage you caused last time you orchestrated a break-out."
" . . . Fine," Terra sighed, eyeing the scribbles in the sand, "So Robin, Star-Girl, and Raven will get Ven out while the rest of us raise hell?"
"In as many words. Wintergreen is trying to get a bead on Mod, and if Eugene can un-hijack the TV feeds, even better. Last thing we need is a bunch of human meat-shields muddying things up," the black mage hummed.
"Not that I'm comfortable letting Control Freak anywhere near our computers, but desperate times call for desperate measures," Robin huffed.
"Hey, I can think of worse 'guy in the chair's to work with," Beast Boy shrugged.
"You're only friendly with him because you can talk about TV shows all day."
"What's your point?"
"Robin?"
"Yes, Starfire?"
" . . . Thank you," the space princess smiled prettily.
"Any time."
*TEEN TITANS*
"Out of all the things you could've possibly used your Ring to fabricate, did it haveto be that…?" Robin groaned irritably as the three of them infiltrated the prison after Raven helped the others 'Fast Travel' back to the city.
"What? I think it's pretty sexy~" Kitten smirked behind her new mask. In place of her original Star Sapphire uniform, Kitten was now clad in a tight-fitting black body-glove and pullover hood with a white skull-like mask, gray gloves with a matching mantle and belt, with hot pink Xs on the tops of her feet, back of her hands, chest, belt, and forehead, a short mane of free-flowing hair to match.
In summary, she looked like "the daughter of Red X", and the name "Pink X" was both fitting and too-on-the-nose…
"I think one of Beast Boy's 'internet rules' covers this exact scenario, but for the life of me I can't remember," Raven hummed.
"Rule 63~"
"Perhaps I should reiterate; I don't care enough to remember."
"Focus," Robin shushed as they slinked onto the roof past the hypnotized guards and making for an air vent.
When it became obvious that Mad Mod had hypnoscreen'd the prisoners as well as the guards, the three of them didn't worry as-much about being exposed by gen pop as they were the facility's many cameras. Robin, workaholic as he was, knew the location of each and every camera, and despite lacking in any formal training, Raven and Star-Girl (he utterly refused to call her 'Pink X') did an adequate job of following his lead to stay out of the cameras' sight cones, or just using Raven's shadow travel to cheat.
"Kitten?"
"Daddy?" the ex-villainess blinked, removing her mask and turning to the cell on their right. "You're not brainwashed."
"Guess it doesn't work on non-humans," the moth-man shrugged, giving her a once-over. "New look?"
"It's a special occasion~" she grinned.
"Hey, you mind? We're on a bit of a time table," Robin huffed.
"Right, sorry, daddy, gotta go. I'll visit you soon."
"Kitten."
"Yes?"
" . . . I'm proud of you."
"Th… Thanks, dad," the blond smiled prettily, pulling her hood and mask back over her head before following after the others to the heart of the prison. "So… Where is he?"
"We've got a lock on his locator. Bottom floor, probably in the solitary confinement wing," Robin answered.
All too soon, the three Titans got to the bottom floor, an array of doors with tiny light and tray slats on them. The directional bearing indicator counting down, when they arrived at the further-most door, the T-Comm. pinged incessantly.
"Looks like this is it," Kitten hummed, her ring conjuring a giant key-like sword that shot a beam of violet light into the electronic lock too the side, the red LEDs pinging to green before the door popped open.
"Well… That was quick…" Robin said lowering his own lock-picking tools into his belt.
"Most powerful multi-tool in the universe~" Kitten grinned dismissing her key-sword. Entering the solitary confinement cell, they saw 'Old Man Ventus' slumped forward in a wooden chair just like the ones Mad Mod had used on them in his 'Institute for Bratty Teenage Do-Gooders', only this time he wasn't calmped down.
"Vent, don't worry, we're going to get you out of… here?" Robin blinked as his hand passed through his friend's shoulder, his body flickering before vanishing entirely, revealing a holo-cube on the seat next to the T-Comm.
"As they say, my duckies, you just got 'red herring'd'~" Mad Mod grinned from above as the ceiling turned into a TV screen, the door snapping shut behind them. "Now, why don't you sit pretty in the ol' penalty box while I sort out your little friends~" he chuckled, Raven trying to will a portal into existence only for it to flicker out. "Ah ah ah. No witchcraft in this keep~ I made that special, just-in-case," he said gesturing to an arch of runes craved into the wall around the door.
The next moment Robin combined two Birdarangs into a sword and cut a gouge through a vertical line of runes, the magic inside of it flickering and dying out.
"Hey! I worked very hard on those!" Mad Mod shouted as Raven conjured her magic and spirited them away.
*TEEN TITANS*
"So, your plan a bust too?" Cyborg asked as the Titans huddled together in City Hall.
"In as many words," Robin said laying Vent's T-Comm. onto the table. "What happened on your end?"
"Endless Wave Mode…" Beast Boy sighed.
"We caused a lot of damage, but I think Mod has been recycling some of the stock we already destroyed; I recognize some of the plasma burns from our first dust-off he couldn't completely cover up," Cyborg elaborated.
"Maybe we smash whatever factory he's been using to fix all his British crap?" Kitten offered.
"It won't be that easy."
"JESUS!" she yelped as Wintergreen strode out of the shadows for the second time that day. "Seriously, do we need to put a bell on you?"
"It wouldn't work, even in my old age," the old man chuckled. "Anyway, he has all the laborer unions brainwashed. They'll attack anyone who tries to take the factory, and if Mod's the vindictive sort, well… I need not go into exacting detail."
"So, did you get anything on your end?" Raven questioned.
"Yes, actually. Mad Mod has turned the mayor's office into a bootleg Buckingham Palace. He's scheduled a little parade for himself later today before all of his 'adoring subjects'. Didn't even cover up the route or anything."
"And Vent?"
"Will be in forced attendance. Mod doesn't seem to be hurting him, but you can cause damage to the elderly without leaving any marks."
"Then we hit Mod when he's out in the open," Robin hummed. " . . . What do we do until then?"
"Eat? I'm starving…" Terra sighed. " . . . What is there to eat in jolly old England?"
"I thought you'd never ask," Wintergreen chuckled.
*TEEN TITANS*
"That's right, me duckies! You love King Moddy! You love being Brits! Silly old America's a thing of the past!" Mad Mod chuckled, grinning ear to ear atop his catbird seat, suspended by a balloon with a Union Jack design. "I'll bet you'd like this, wouldn't you, old chum?" he taunted as he stepped to the back of his craft where 'Old Man Ventus' was seated, waggling his cane before his elderly opponent. "Well, what's stopping you? Go ahead and-"
*BOOM!*
*KRASH!*
*KRA-KROOM!*
"Oy! Who told you to stop?" the red-head cried as explosions went off up the stretch of the street, his platform bouncing to a stop against the nearest Beefeater-bot. "Keep marching! My British subjects are in the middle of adoring me!"
The next moment, one of his hypnoscreens filled with static, then another, and then another until all of them within his sight and across the city as a whole let out only an annoying *HSHHHHHHHH!*
"The bloody hell?!" Mad Mod demanded as the static soon gave way to a waving American flag, followed by-
Americaaaa~
Americaaaa~
'Merica, fuck yeah!
Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah
'Merica, fuck yeah!
Freedom is the only way yeah
Terrorists, your game is through
'Cause now you have ta answer to-
"What the deuce?!" Mad Mod demanded as America F**CK YEAH! from Team America World Police began to play.
His attention diverting from his prisoner toward his subjects as they began to snap out of their hypnotized daze, the would-be king failed to notice a green-furred chipmunk disgorging a stone talisman from his mouth before resuming humanoid form. A thumbs-up raised once the talisman had been placed in the elderly aerokinetic's hand, the Shiba Dog-shaped insignia flashing, as the changeling leapt from the craft a sonic blast shot up the street and took out the balloon, dropping the catbird and its passengers to the ground with a hard *CRASH*, both of them taking a spill.
"Man, I bet even real British people don't like you!" Cyborg whooped.
"A frontal assault?" Mod asked as he got to his feet. "Haven't you sprogs tried that already?" he sneered before dodging another cannon blast that would've taken his head off. " . . . Right!" he said adjusting his glasses before transforming into something like the Blue Meanies from 'Yellow Submarine' with gray skin and a Union Jack-clad body. "Destroy 'em!"
The battle to follow was one for the history books, and those that hadn't fled entirely would tell stories of what they witnessed for years to come. Sure, those stories would become distorted with each re-telling, but the fact of the matter was, that the Teen Titans were fighting Jump City's occupiers in front of God and everyone, a far cry from Jump's previous occupation where the bulk of the Titans played dead in order to satisfy a personal vendetta. The sight of their city's guardians fighting on their behalf even inspired the common man and woman to take part in the fight in whatever ways they were able.
And what was Mod doing while all of this was going on?
Goofing around on a chessboard with custom pieces…
"Jolly good, boys! Show these Yanks who's king around here!"
The next moment a finger tapped his shoulder from behind.
"What? What is it?" he asked whirling around. "Can't you see I'm-"
*Splort*
"Blegh! Apple pie!?" he cried as he shook the pie tin from his face. "I hate apple…!" he trailed off as he stared up at a distinguished-looking older gentleman who was not that tall, or broad-shouldered, after getting age-ified.
"Pop quiz: What's red, white, and blue all over?" Old Man Ventus ask cocking back his arm. "YOU!" he shouted delivering a powerful uppercut, sending the de-aged Brit flying and dislodging his Control Cane from his grip. Mad Mod looking up, felt his stomach lurch as Ventus' hand snapped up and caught his hand. The ex-teen spinning the shaft in his hands, then pressed his thumb to the top facet of the ruby cane head, causing the planes to fall out of the sky, the tanks to roll to a stop, and the tin soldiers to fall over, the aesthetic changes to Jump City following after revealing the evening sky.
"Remind me again, what was that line you were so fond of when we first met?" Ventus asked as the Teen Titans, free of their mechanical adversaries, began to reconvene upon them. "Ah, I remember now. 'You see, I'm older than you, so I'm bigger, badder, and better.'"
"Say wh-clonk-OW!" Mad Mod cried at the turnabout as he was smacked upside the head with his own cane.
"Whoa. Gotta hand it to that Chinese magic…" Raven blinked as she took in his well-trimmed beard and strong jaw, on top of his muscles.
"Actually, he pulled a 'King Bumi' after giving this back," Beast Boy whispered as he held up the Dog Talisman behind another hand. "He did it right after you grounded his parade float and Mod was distracted."
"Y-You've been faking it the entire time?!" Mad Mod gawped.
"Yep. Now, before I wail on you, I have some 'elderly wisdom' to share with you," Ventus said handing the cane off to Wintergreen before striding forward and cracking his knuckles. "Youth might be wasted on the young, but wisdom is wasted on the old."
*WHIF*CRACK*POW!*
"Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain!"
"Oof! That's gotta hurt!" Beast Boy winced as 'Old Man Ventus' took his pound of flesh out of Mod, the would-be king's crown rolling along the ground.
"My my my, I can see why some women on your planet prefer their men a bit older," Blackfire giggled while licking her lips, the brunette's now-grey hair actually more-fitting than his super-soldier-serum-induced platinum lochs.
"H-He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"
"Hold on, is it just me, or does he look like Joseph Joestar from the Stardust Crusaders arc?" Kitten asked, making a Construct camera and taking a photo.
"It's either coincidence, or a purely aesthetic choice," Raven hummed.
"I regret everything! I regret everything I've ever done!"
"Wait, are we talking 'time travel' like Mad Mod stole his 'time' and he swapped places with his future self? Because that would imply Mad Mod's cane didn't just up and steal his life-force like the Puppet King…" Beast Boy hummed contemplatively, eyes swirling and smoke coming out of his ear.
"You call that breaking my spine? You Yankee wankers wouldn't know how to break a spine if-" *SPLACK!* "-AUGHHH! MY SPIIINE!"
"Think we should help him?" Robin asked.
"Do you want to get in the middle of that?" Wintergreen inquired, holding onto the cane and careful not to touch anything.
"Ah, no…" the Boy Wonder returned, wondering if he would've still been that fit and buff had he been age-ified.
"There is a checkbook in my left-rear pocket! I will pay you all of my money to stop!"
"Senior Citizen Smackdown," Cyborg narrated as his optic recorded the entire ordeal. "Vent was right, our life is better than cable."
"But we get satellite," Terra rebuttled.
"You know what I mean," Cy returned.
*SPLAT!* "My blood! He… He punched out all my blood…!"
"Yow! That took a turn!" Terra winced.
"Well, he did try and make America British, soooo…" Cyborg hummed.
"Y-You can't hurt me! British Imperialism doesn't give me time to bleed!" *CRACK!* "My schedule has just opened up! Aaaohhww, my God!"
"Okay, I'm done," Old Man Ventus hummed making his way over to them.
"Hey guys, I'm back!" Kid Flash zipped in. "So, what did I miss OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he cried pointing at what vaguely resembled a human body, once upon a time.
"For the 'fastest boy alive', you sure are late a lot," Kitten huffed.
"No, seriously! What the hell did I miss?!"
*One lengthy explanation later…*
"Hey uh… If you swap back, is he gonna be okay…?" Kid Flash asked as he stared at the crumpled heap of human misery.
"If the whole 'time travel' thing pans out, probably," Kitten hummed. "Still, I kinda thought the two of us would get to grow old together at the same time," she said eyeing him.
"Hey, at least you have a nice piece of man candy to look forward to," Terra hummed. "Makes you wonder how he'll look in the interim~"
"You have exquisite facial hair, master," Wintergreen said with a bow.
"Thank you, old friend," Ventus said patting the man on the shoulder, now standing eye-to-eye with him.
"So, what're you going to do now?" Blackfire purred as she felt his bulging muscles.
"Oh, I can think of something to do with these old bones before I get my youth back~" Old Man Ventus said in turn as he put his arm around Blackfire's shoulders, the alien girl salivating in anticipation as she ran a hand down his broad, muscular chest.
*TEEN TITANS*
"I'd like to buy some movie tickets with my senior citizen discount," the still-elderly Ventus hummed at the ticket booth at the local multiplex, the Teen Titans gathered behind him.
"U-Um, sir, the senior citizen discount only works on you-"
"VIETKOOOOOOONG!"
"KYAAAAAAAH!"
"Well…" Beast Boy hummed. "Nice to know he'll still be funny as an old guy," the changeling chuckled as the elderly wind-wielder put the fear of god into that under-paid teenager.
"Not exactly what I had in mind…" Blackfire hummed disappointingly. "But I guess it'll do."
*TEEN TITANS*
AN:
Honestly, I always imagined that "Old Man Robin" was as crook-backed as he was because of stress and an unhealthy sex life (read: lack thereof)~ Between him and "Old Man Bruce", I'm hard-pressed to say who was better off…
Also, I've been dying to use those "Meet the Sandvich" lines for ages, so I'm really glad I got to finally put them in~
That and having Ventus pull a "King Bumi". That shit was way too good to pass up, I've literally been waiting years to do something like that in one of my stories. Or more-specifically in this one.
Anywho, see you next time on Young Justice: The Hunter!