welcome back guyz did u miss me no ok
disclaimer: if u r sheryl, pls don't choke to death on a burger laughing
"You ungrateful bastard. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to braid hair as short as yours?"
"No. Why don't you enlighten me, because I clearly care so much about the science of hair braiding." Gray said dryly. Ouch. Maybe i was rubbing off on him too much...
"Hella. That's how hard." I said with dead seriousness. Because everybody knew that of the few things I was passionate about, being right was one of them.
"Well, I do hope you'll forgive me for not giving a damn." He joked, opening the car door while keeping smoldering eye contact with me. Goddamn this boy.
"The only way I'll forgive you is if you sing me a song." I demanded, folding my arms and hip checking the car door shut in protest.
"How about 'get the hell in the car unless you want to stay here and get eaten by bears'?" He asked, folding his arms on the hood of the car like he was on some reality TV show where they discussed what types of ties are acceptable at galas.
"How about 'sing me a song or I'll puncture your tires with my mascara brush'?" I threatened. Hopefully he had no idea what a mascara brush was.
He narrowed his eyes, like he remembered what a mascara brush was, but he was still pretty sure I would be able to pull it off.
"…Get in the car."
I stuck my tongue out at him and did what he said. The general idea of 'trick that asshole Gray into falling in love with me' was to keep my bitchiness on the down lo, and maybe hang around him like a gnat to a mango.
Mmmm…mangoes…
"The hell are you thinking so hard about?" He questioned, turning his head around to check the driveway for fallen children.
Nothing. Just how much I'd love to lick a mango off of your…face…
"Honestly? Swimming."
Oh wow, nice cover Juvs, you fucking idiot.
"Oh yeah. Your next meet is the second, right?" He asked, unusually on point with his estimation. Who am I kidding, this kid could be on point in a fucking horse mask damn his near perfect perfection!
"Uh…right." I approved.
"Hope it's ok that we're gonna be there." He mentioned.
"Huh, yeah it's…" wait a second…we're? what the hell does 'we' mean? "What do you mean, we?"
"C'mon. You knew you weren't getting away the second my family found out you have something to do with sports." He reasoned.
"Well…you can't!" I sputtered indignantly, almost desperate enough to grab the wheel and swerve into then nearest ditch, hopefully killing us both, so then I wouldn't have to look at his beautiful face, and in return he wouldn't have to look at my hideous face. A fair trade, if I do say so myself.
"What? Why not?" He asked quizzically.
"Well…I'm allergic…to…" spiders, scorpions, self confidence, wheat… "…moral support."
He looked at me like I had just swallowed an infant.
"You know…sometimes, I really can't tell if you're being serious or not." He remarked.
"I am being serious! I'm deathly allergic to any sort of moral support, and that's why none of my parents, or friends, come to my games!" I explained, my voice accidentally raising up a few octaves in defense.
He sighed, long and drawn out. "Fine, if you really want to be that way, then-"
"No! No, no, no! Don't make me the bitch here, I just really hate competitions, and I-"
"Oh, we're not still on that lie, are we?" He asked sourly.
"It's not a lie! It's…" I struggled to make up yet another lie. "The…truth." Wow, that'll convince him. Unsure pauses and ellipses. Fucking idiot.
Before he could say anything in retort, or crush all of my lies into the ground with a grand swing of his beautiful fist, his phone rang and he groaned.
"That's probably Ultear. She keeps trying to send my pictures of her stupid braided hair." He mumbled.
I picked up his phone, since he was driving, and swiped it eagerly. To my astonishment(and utter happiness) it had no passcode, and I was free to frolic on Gray's phone.
I sent Ultear a text back, just the word nice because the picture was a little bit blurry and she sort of missed the braid entirely and just got the side of her head.
She texted back extremely quickly, the words WHO R U in all caps blinking ferociously.
Ah. She saw right through my one worded façade. Too bad.
"Hey, you aren't doing anything precarious, are you?" He asked dangerously, like I was surfing internet porn or something else.
"No, I'm just texting your mom to go to hell, and sending your thirst trap photos to all of your contacts, no biggie." I covered.
He didn't even flinch, hinting to me that he had no cute photos of himself on the device. Dammit.
"So…" I began awkwardly, "your family, they…"
"Smoke lots of everything? Yeah. I know. I just can't believe you actually made it out alive. It's actually a new record. Last time Lyon brought a girl home, she left in tears because dad asked her why she dressed like she was color blind." Gray told, smiling fondly at the memory.
"Huh. That…wasn't actually the vibe I was getting from them…" I admitted.
"Yeah, well, that's cuz they liked you. You lucked out. Thanks, by the way. You have sick-ass lying skills." He praised. My heart skipped a few thousand beats and I scrounged my mind for something to say back.
"Uh…yeah. It comes with the job." I waved away.
"What job?"
"My new job, of getting you into a business college and screwing over Lyon on the process." I explained.
He looked surprised by my declaration, but shrugged it off. "Alright. Good to know I've got someone on my side. You do know you're not getting paid, right?"
I stared at him comically, like I hadn't realized this the whole time. "Stop the car."
He laughed and ignored my comment, thankfully he realized that it was indeed a joke.
He pulled into my driveway, surprising me because I had no idea we were that close to my home. Time flies when you're staring at a god, I guess.
He got out of the car, eliciting some definite protest from me.
"You don't have to-"
"It's fine." He interrupted with sly grin. Bastard. He just wanted to see me get embarrassed by my parents.
With a twisted smile, I walked up to my front door and knocked a few times, my dad hated whenever I walked in unannounced. The last time I made that mistake, he tried to shoot me with a nerf gun, and was found hiding under the kitchen table.
My mom opened the door and started choking on whatever exotic fruit she had been eating.
"J-Juvia! You're back early, both of you, come in, come in!" She stammered, throwing open the door and dragging Gray and I by our arms inside the house.
"So…how was studying for chemistry?" My mom asked, making it sound like chemistry was as deviant as hot sex in the basement. I also find it hilarious that they thought I was studying for chemistry even though i had told them numerous times we were studying physics. Unless she was testing me...
Gray looked at her oddly and I slapped his back to distract him.
"It was…great! Lots of…yeah." I trailed off.
"Well, isn't that nice…Mark! Get over here!" My mom suddenly barked.
"Keep it in your pants, woman, I'm comin', I'm comin'…" My dad muttered, more than likely not moving from his spot on the couch.
"So, what did you guys talk about? Did you have fun? How many other people were there? Did you-"
"Yeah mom, I already said it was just…fabulous, now let's say goodbye to Gray, and-"
"-Actually yeah, it was a lot of fun. I just can't wait to see Juvia's next meet." Gray intercepted, throwing me a wink and those annoying finger guns. If he were absolutely anybody else, I would've broken his hands right then and there.
"Her next…what?" My mom asked openly, furrowing her neat little eyebrows, and probably interpreting the word 'meet' as 'meat' and wondering why I was out barbecuing steaks at other people's houses.
At that moment my dad decided to make an entrance, making Gray's little scene all the worst.
"Hi Mr. Lockser. Anyways, her next swim meet." He clarified, giving my dad like, three heart attacks just by mentioning him. To him, that was like the equality of Tom Hanks coming to our house and giving us a private performance of the national anthem.
"Swimming?" My dad's eyebrows went up and down, "I thought you sucked at that."
My eyes went blank and I almost keeled over dead. Thanks for the enthusiasm dad.
Gray looked at me, and then back at my dad like he'd pronounced Julie Andrews to be dead.
"Bad? No way, she's on varsity, and she just set a new record!" He advertised, like I was a roll of Sham-Wow that needed to be sold to my own goddamn parents.
"Like…an actual swimming record? She's not the team manager, or anything lame like that, right?" My dad asked, intrigued by my hidden sport.
"But you hate swimming," my mom said pointedly, referring to every time I denied her mother/daughter beach time, half because she was totally right, I hated swimming, and half because the swimsuits she call swimsuits are not swimsuits. More like…pieces of sparkly fabric that just happen to be connected by a limp string.
"So…let me get this straight," my dad said, a little loud for a simple standing in the doorway conversation, "you're actually remotely good at something sports?" He asked.
"Uh…n…o?" I said awkwardly. "And Gray, oh my gosh, I think I can hear your mom calling-"
"Yes. She's great, and I can't wait to see her on the second." He repeated the date like it was my execution date.
"Well I guess we'll see you there," my mom said, a little bit shocked.
Wait. Wait just a second.
So…Gray's family was coming…my family was coming…Gray was coming…
Well somebody just give me a fucking shotgun to the face. Seriously. This is not ok, in any way, shape, or form.
I turned to fiercely glare at Gray in the form of a small smile and I gently shoved him out my door.
"Bye Gray, I'll see you at school!" I screeched, my voice taking its own accord and practically summoning a demon.
"Uh…bye?" He bid, as I slammed the door as hard as I could.
Instantly my parents exploded with chatter.
"Ohmygosh Juvia, how could you not have told us? I'm so disappointed-"
"-Grandchildren by the time I'm forty! Use contraceptives, dammit!"
Wait, what was that last thing again?
"Calm down guys, it's no big deal." I said coolly, edging my way across the entryway and cautiously darting up the stairs.
"I can't wait to see you swim dear! And also, are you a yay or nay for birth control? Because-"
I slammed my bedroom door shut before I had to hear any more of my mother's rambling.
My mom, and dad, both had this unhealthy obsession with contraceptives. They were all for abstinence, or so they've told me, but they prefer condoms and shit because they know firsthand 'teen hormonal needs' or whatever abbreviation my mom has given it.
And honestly, this is an obsession I can understand. My parents had me when they were seventeen years old, something that sickens, and also scares the living daylights out of me. I mean, hell, I'm eighteen now, a year older than them as parents, and I couldn't even keep my goldfish that cost nineteen cents alive. God forbid a fucking baby.
I buried my face into my blankets, absorbing their distant warmth and sighing.
My life sucked.
.
.
.
I got to school early on Monday, but only because Erza wanted to go to Calculus review and offered to pick me up, and since my dad was still asleep and any alternative to the bus is manna from heaven, I gladly accepted.
"Did you even do the homework? I couldn't figure it out for the life of me…" Erza moaned as we stopped by my locker to grab my government things. Calculus review, was, as I knew it would be, completely useless, and only proved to confuse us further.
"I googled some of the answers, worked backwards from there." I informed, pulling out my textbook and shutting my locker.
"Whenever I google it, I get zero results. Damn you and your search engine friendliness!" She cursed.
"Yeah, well, I try…" I sort of trailed off after spotting Natsu and Gray out of the corner of my eye. They were talking and laughing about something. God, I really wish I could be that casual with him, and not just be the total bitch that I was.
"-study for the formative quiz?" I heard Erza finish as we entered the classroom.
"A little," I lied. Formative quizzes were like emails from Satan – no matter how hard you studied, or how much you knew, ultimately you'd still get a pitchfork to the ass.
Luckily, formative quizzes were done with partners, and Erza and I always managed to pull out a high C or B- usually, and that was like…top score.
"Juvia!"
Oh. That was new.
Gray, followed closely by Natsu, caught up with me and Erza easily.
"Hey," he breathed, looking around, almost to make sure no one but us was listening, "I gotta ask you something."
My breath hid in my throat and refused to come out.
"Uh…what about?" I squeaked indignantly. Erza looked at me skeptically, and Natsu…whoa, Natsu was full on glaring at me. Didn't know he had the sort of willpower to conjure up that sucker. Yikes.
"Just, you know…things…" Gray covered, nodding his head unrhythmically.
"Hey Gray, one minute till class." Natsu reminded, seemingly pretty eager to get rid of Gray. Or, more likely, get Gray away from me. Hm. I guess I'll have to figure out what I did to piss him off so badly…
"Oh," Gray said with a frown, "I guess I'll tell you in Physics."
"Yeah, you do that." Erza said, an unreadable expression in her voice.
"I'll see you Gray," I said softly as he turned around to get to his class.
Erza looked at me like I declared myself the new queen of America.
Natsu continued to glare, before sharply whirling around and taking his seat.
I went to sit down in my chair, mind whirring from the last thirty seconds of activity. My heart desperately hoped that Gray wanted to tell me something fantastic, like 'I've always loved you' or 'Juvia, you're hot af' but the rational side, my brain, was telling me to chill my motherfucking tits and take a goddamn breather, because he probably wanted to tell me something stupid, like 'Lyon says hi'.
"Good morning East Magnolia High, these are your morning announcements-"
God. First things first, our announcements are like those peppy 'our chess team placed fifth in the national tournament! Gooo owls!' the kind of stupid stuff you thought you'd left behind in primary school. Also, our school fucking sucks at everything besides hockey. Seriously, we're known as the hockey school. Everything else is more like 'hey look! We didn't get first in this thing, but we sure as almighty fuck didn't get last! School spirit everyone!'. Extremely painful.
I guess I should have seen it coming.
"-and congratulations to our girls swimming team for defeating Hargeon High, and varsity swimmer Juvia Lockser for setting a State record! Remember to cheer our girls on in two weeks at the-"
Oh. Fuck.
The kids in the classroom looked around, almost like 'hey, isn't that Juvia Lockser? Lol I thought she was an untalented fuck.'
My body went into overdrive and I stared at my desk for comfort.
I guess you'll always love me, desk…
I could feel Erza's eyes on the back of my neck, strange as the occurrence was. She was demanding to know why I was just mentioned as a record setter, and why she didn't know about it. I could already hear her in my brain. Juvia, how the fuck did you manage to hide this shit from me?
Scary.
The humiliation only grew when the teacher worded his congratulations to me, which meant next to nothing to me, other than the fact that he was broadening the group of people that were aware of my secret talent.
Just…fucking brilliant, really, just excellent.
I was seeing red the whole class period. And, to my, and probably your surprise, all of my anger was directed at Gray Fullbuster.
That assfuck. He must've bribed, or told, somebody about my stupid accomplishment, they wouldn't have included it! They never say names, only teams!
With the exception of Gray during hockey season, but that was a complete given.
I really just wanted to gut that boy like a salmon and lay him out on a grill to fry.
I trusted that dickspliced piece of ass, god was I stupid for it, the only thing I had to offer him was a shot at his dream college, and maybe a nice pair of boobs.
Hm…alright, so maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him explain himself before I beat the living crap out of him, perfect or not.
We all know that it would be the former.
I made a b-line for physics, ready to slice Gray a piece of his own ass and feed it to him like cake. I also skillfully avoided my daily encounter with Erza, which was usually scheduled for the last minute of calc, so we could complain to each other fervently. She was probably pissed. Scratch that, she was definitely pissed…ah, I would make it up to her later.
"Juvia! Juvia! Juvia!" Lucy called, unfortunately closer to me than I had anticipated.
"Hey Lucy, I gotta-"
"I heard your name on the announcements! I didn't know you swam! That's so cool! I'm so excited to see you swim!" She bubbled, shaking my shoulders excitedly.
God. Not another casualty…especially not Lucy…
"Listen, Lucy, I really have to-"
"-and glitter paint! It'll say 'Juvia! Win or die!' I'm just kidding, but I will make a banner." She chattered. She really could talk forever, if I let her.
Gray walked into the classroom with my arch nemesis, or something like that, Cobra, but my focus was completely on him.
"Gray!" I whisper-shouted, grabbing the strings of his unzipped hoodie and viciously yanking him out of the classroom. You know, so I could bite off his head in the sanctity of the hallway.
When I stopped pulling, his face had disappeared behind the tightened mask of his hood, completely obscuring his face. I wanted to squeal and melt into a big 'ol Juvia puddle, but now wasn't the time for doing what I normally do.
He tugged his hood loose, his hair a stuck-up mess and his eyes blinking rapidly.
"Uh…wow. You're pretty eager. What's up?" He asked cautiously, remembering halfway through his sentence that we're literally talking about me and with the information he's gathered of me, I do not get excited, or eager, at all, ever. To him, I probably have an emotional range close to that of an ice cube.
Heh. If only he knew how much I actually freaked out over everything, ever.
"You idiot. What the hell did you do?! I told you I don't like people watching me swim, or…you know! Do…stuff! You think this is a joke!? I'll-"
He interrupted me, thank god, before I embarrassed myself any further. I had totally forgotten about that whole 'benefit of the doubt' thing and just kinda jumped straight into the blame game, which involved punches.
"Hey. Hey. Calm." He instructed, like I was some sort of excited labrador that was jumping on top of his furniture. "I didn't do anything." He finished calmly.
"…" I stopped, closing my open mouth and holding a single finger up like I was still trying to process the four words he said.
"…Oh."
He folded his arms and looked at me expectantly.
I blankly looked back.
He raised his eyebrows made a little motioning sign like he wanted me to go on.
"…the hell are you staring at? Do you want something…? Money? I don't have any money…" I patted my pockets to symbolize my lack of currency.
He sighed, unintentionally saying 'you're impossible'.
"Well, you should sort of apologize. You did just kind of try to rip my spline out." He reasoned.
"The hell I'm apologizing, do you even know me?" I asked sarcastically, already knowing 100% well that he had no idea who I was.
"I like to think so." He mused, stroking his chin like I was the fucking da vinci code. "You've apologized to me before."
"That was a one time thing!" I yelled as I pushed him back into the classroom. Damn. I'm not doing a very good job at 'operation force Gray to love me'.
Twisting my lips into a frown, I sat down at my desk to prepare for an hour of oh-god-kill-me physics. Of course, my mind managed to wander because honestly if it didn't I'd have to question whatever sanity I may have had left.
Why the hell did the announcements actually say my name? They stuck with teams, not names, excluding Gray…
Was it seriously just a stroke of horrendous luck for me? How many fucking pennies had I picked up in my previously lifetime tails up? My luck was like fucking heads or tails, screwing me with a rusty screwdriver in the gall bladder, no matter how you call it.
Wait…wait a second…
Gall bladder…I just reminded myself of something.
Oh yeah. I think I knew exactly who would have the means to rat me out to the school board, to rally the school to follow me on my epic journey at the next competition just to see me fail.
Fucking basketballs-for-tits Evergreen.
Just…splice my ass with a fucking piranha. That's how fucked I was, on a scale of one to kicking Satan in the kneecap.
My pocket buzzed and I subtly pulled out my phone, mentally cursing Evergreen to the fifth circle of hell, which, according to Dante's Inferno, will leave her eternally drowning in a marsh of souls, or something like that.
It was Erza, surprisingly enough.
You still coming to my meet this sat?
Oh yeah. I had completely forgotten about that.
Yeah. As long as jellyman gives me a ride
Heheh. It was fun giving Jellal random nicknames. I swear, his name could be molded into practically anything.
K thx.
I was about to put my phone away, but it buzzed once more, I guess I was just really popular today.
Ew. Sting. He is literally the reincarnation of a toilet emoji. Sadly, I think I'm going to adopt him.
I opened his message and saw a horrible quality photo of the back of someone's head, with scraggly black hair.
10/10
Huh. Sting had babbled on a lot about how many hot people were in his pre-calc class, but I never imagined it'd be this…whatever this is.
Plus, I'm not even sure what gender the person was. Not that it really mattered.
But…since it is Sting, I'm just gonna go ahead and put a boy label on mystery crush.
qt
I slipped my phone back into my pocket, pursing my lips and sighing.
This was just going to be a butt-fuckingly long week, wasn't it?
.
.
.
"Oh my god! I just hit a squirrel!"
"No you didn't." I insisted.
Jellal swerved the car hastily to the shoulder of the road anyway. Fucking brilliant. I swear, we would've been there a fucking hour ago if Jellal didn't have to keep stopping to either pee, examine what he thought was a dead body on the side of the road, or moan over something he hardly even nicked.
Luckily, he had picked me up half an hour early, so we could be punctual, or whatever the hell Jellal's code was for 'mack on Erza before she competes'.
Jellal skittishly jumped out of the car, a brave squirrel rescuer in the making, and I reluctantly followed him, mostly because I didn't trust myself not to drive away without him.
"Hm…I don't see anything…" He uttered, checking each of his wheels for leftover squirrel.
"See? Told you that you didn't hit anything, now let's…" I trailed off, spotting, on the left front wheel, proof that Jellal did not imagine the hit-and-run.
"What? What is it?"
"Uh…" I cringed at the graphicness of the squirrel guts. Jellal might actually pass out if he sees it. "My…period is acting up! Quick! Drive me to a gas station!" I screamed, using my period as a crutch even though I described it a bit like arthritis, and I wasn't even on my period.
"O-oh my gosh! Let's go!" He remarked, hopping back in the car and eagerly starting off.
I sat back, rather proud of myself for my quick thinking. Jellal was fairly pliable when it came to the topic of periods, then again, most guys were, but Jellal was especially sensitive, probably because he was the one who had to deal with Erza of all people on her lady days.
He pulled over at the first gas station we saw, to my happiness, not a trashy one either. It was a gas station I would gladly get stabbed at.
"Go, go, go!" He said, out of breath, like we were running in an army infantry and not a gas station parking lot.
"Yeah, yeah, calm your balls Jellal, I'm not going to explode." I chided wryly, slipping into the gas station and purposefully not holding the door for Jellal. I'm such a delightful bitch.
I went to the bathroom, and played with my hair for about fifteen minutes, stalling just enough so that Jellal would believe that I was losing enough blood to be dying. I got a few strange looks, maybe because I was dressed sub-par (jeans and a big-ass sweatshirt, it used to be my dad's) or maybe it was because a girl can only mess with her hair so much until she starts to look a wee bit obsessive.
Exiting the bathroom, I picked up an oversized bag of pixy stix, something Erza would enjoy after the competition. We used to see who could down more of those suckers in a minute, her record was thirteen, mine was like ten and a half.
"Wow…uh, you ok?" Jellal asked cautiously.
"Buy me these and I will be." I answered, throwing the bag at him unnaturally fast. He caught it and gave me a funny look, but complied.
The rest of the ride to Roseville was rather quiet, me tapping my fingernails to the beat of Jellal's driving mix, and Jellal subtly nodding his head to the beat.
We make a pretty bitchass team.
"Hey, so…I got a question for you." He said casually, walking to the bleachers in the oversized gymnasium. Already, the bars and beams were set for the gymnasts to fuck around and do the flippy shit I couldn't even accomplish in my dreams.
"Yeah?" I asked, ducking my pixy stix into the giant front pocket of my sweatshirt.
"And…this is serious, because you're Erza's best friend and I need your advice." He informed.
I stopped for a second. Was I Erza's best friend? I suppose I couldn't really imagine anyone closer to her than me, mostly because Erza, like me, generally didn't go around spreading her friendship like malaria. We kept to ourselves, and sometimes, each other.
"…Ok." I blurted, chopping my thoughts in half.
"How…do you…"
Of course, Jellal was cut off by the glomping of Erza herself.
"You actually came? I can't believe it!" Erza cheered, in one of her rare excited moods.
"We almost didn't make it. Jelly-bean had to go all wicked witch and kill an innocent forest animal on the way." I told, enjoying the horrified look on Jellal's face when he realized what had happened.
"You…you told me that I didn't!" He accused hotly.
"I spared you the gory details of your fist homicide." I corrected diligently.
"Ah! Oh…my god, it's still on my tires isn't it…" He recalled vaguely, staring into the empty space of Erza's hair.
"Think of it as a battle prize, a sign to ward off other forest animals with the blood of their equal." I reassured.
"Yeah, maybe you'll be considered like a forest god or something now. Glass half full, Jellal." Erza said with a shrug, letting her hand rest gently on Jellal's shoulder. Damn, I envy these two bastards.
"Anyways, you two should go grab seats, wouldn't want them to fill up," Erza said sarcastically. Gymnastics meets, especially away meets, were not known for their rousing popularity.
"Got it. We'll be watching." I said, making glasses out of my curled hands and twisting them to mimic zooming in.
"You're gross." Erza shot at me, before giving her boyfriend a quick kiss on the nose and bouncing away with a wave.
Fuck. Why can't I be that beautiful, cute, smart, talented, attractive and perfect all at once? God.
"She's…great." Jellal drawled dreamily. I rolled my eyes and dragged him up to the bleachers.
"So, what did you want to ask me again?" I asked, taking overly large steps to the center of the bleachers. There were only about ten people sitting there, and most of them were on the opposite side of the gym to support the home team.
"Oh. Oh yeah, so you know how…uh…the uh…" Jellal struggled to find the words that he wanted to ask. Heh. Erza sort of had that effect.
"Oh! I remember, so, you know how prom is sort of coming up?" He asked, looking at me for conformation.
"What? No it isn't, you need to stop worrying about…" I trailed off briefly. Holy shit. For once, Jellal wasn't obnoxiously overprepared three months in advance. Prom was less than a month away. "Oh. I guess it is. Go on then."
Jellal raised an eyebrow but continued anyway. "So, I was wondering…do you have any ideas on how I should ask her? I really want to make it good, but not too flashy, because…yeah. I'm not exactly a flashy person. He explained half-assedly.
Says the guy with the tattoo on his face, honestly.
I scrunched my face up, hoping I'd be able to spontaneously make something up, because, you know, fake it till you make it.
"Here's an idea," I began, throwing my arm over his shoulder like a handsy real estate agent might do if they really wanted to sell you a piece of shit. "You take a box of dirt, with the word 'no' written on it. Then, you stick a rose, with the word 'yes' on it. Then send her a note asking her to prom, and telling her to bring her answer in." I ended with a laugh. "It's completely foolproof! You know Erza would never bring a box of dirt to school, she'll be stuck with you!"
He looked at me, long and hard, like it was the hardest decision of his life – whether or not to kill me right then and there, and to end suffering in America.
"So…your plan for prom…is all centered around," he swallowed, like he was still savoring his sanity, "a box of dirt?"
I nodded. "Make sure it's big too. Big 'ol box of dirt."
"Juvia…you…you're strange." He muttered offhandedly.
"Do you have a better idea? And remember – it's Erza we're talking about – so no singing, public declarations, or restaurant proposals. She thinks they're cliché and dumb." I reminded.
"Yeah, yeah, I know all that…it's just…what? I don't understand anything that goes through your brain." He spoke.
"Nobody really does. Just ask her Jellal, she really won't mind, as long it doesn't fall under any of the 'no-no' categories." I encouraged gently.
"Yeah, well. You know, it's senior year, we might not get accepted to the same college…" he sighed, like being an eighteen year old with an insanely great girlfriend, good grades, and not bad looking was a burden. "I just want it to be special. I guess." He added quickly, hoping not to sound too sappy.
"You're…kind of a dork." I commented. He went red and just nodded.
"But, you're Erza's dork. So don't worry about it." I added just as the gymnasts began to file out and really practice. Like the ankle-shattering sort of practice. Erza wasn't quite out yet, but when she did come out, it was going to be 10/10 hilarity when the other team realizes that they're monumentally fucked.
"Hey, why don't you go down and get me some Pepsi from the vending machine?" I requested, throwing him a dollar and he complied diligently.
Dammit. I just really want a boyfriend like Jellal. Completely submissive to my every demand.
Just kidding. Pretty much my only criteria for guys was you have to be funny, and nice, but still have the ability to be serious.
And you also have to be Gray Fullbuster.
But besides that, it's pretty much fair game. I like to think that I'm rather lenient when it comes to guys. Especially if they are Gray Fullbuster.
Ugh. I was getting my damn hopes up for no reason. He didn't want to fucking date me, I'm disgusting. Eleven years old. A five out of ten but only on Wednesdays.
Guess the only way to get Gray to like me is blackmail, bribery, hypnotism, arranged marriage, poisoning, or maybe a hostage situation.
My chances were less than zero. My hopes diminished to a grain of fucking rice.
Mmm. Rice. I'm kind of hungry now.
I whipped out my bag of pixy stix and began tearing them open and swallowing them like shots. I was running on about three and a half hours of sleep due to a thunderstorm the previous night, not that I'm afraid, hell no, I stayed up and watched those babies light up the night for hours on end.
I always liked the rain. I couldn't tell you why.
After about the third pixy stick, satan decided to pay me a visit.
"Oh fuck no. Not this. Anything but this."
Oh god. For once, I actually wish I wasn't holding pixy stix. So my hands would be free. So I could punch him in the fucking face.
Lyon had his head resting in between his fingers, like my presence was even more agonizing than a triple vasectomy.
Dammit. I wish I didn't have a pixy stick halfway down my throat, I would've poured that powder all over his spiky hair, then blew some in his eyes so he'd be momentarily blinded, then I'd run – to Jellal's car – and escape. It was a foolproof plan.
"Are you stalking Gray or something? You crazy stalker bitch, you totally are! Look, he's got fangirls, but you, you are extreme, it's like you're obsessed or something-"
But I'd tuned him out the second he said Gray.
Gray was here?!
I coughed up a small cloud of pixy stick dust and looked down at myself, having a minor panic attack. I looked like forty five year old trucker, and my hair…god let's just not talk about my hair… I was screwed, so screwed, and that minor shot I had with Gray was about to fly out the fucking window like a lost balloon, bye-bye!
So, I did what was only natural, really, what any girl hopelessly in love with Gray Fullbuster would do.
I threw my bag of pixy stix –and if this doesn't prove how much I like Gray, I don't know what does – at Lyon's fucking face, making a comical slapping sound I wish I could've gotten on tape.
And then, I booked it down the steps.
And you know, it all would've worked out really well, instead of…what actually happened.
I slammed straight into some poor soul who happened to be coming up the stairs.
My body squished against the other persons, and my face buried into their jacket.
I…oh god…I knew instantly it was Gray, just by the smell of his jacket. It was a nice smell, you know, if I wasn't thrown at him like a major league baseball.
Now, this was not the sort of girl-bumps-into-guy-and-they-fall-on-top-of-each-other-adorably kind of cutesy crap you read in fanfiction. This was straight up oh-my-god-his-neck-is-gonna-fucking-snap terror shit from nightmare on elm street.
I wanted to cry. I fell forwards, and he fell backwards, smacking against the metal bleachers with a horrible thunk.
Oh my fucking god. I killed Gray Fullbuster. My fat ass fucking squashed him and broke his fucking neck like a fucking pigeon. I'm going to jail for manslaughter.
And I didn't even get to fucking finish my bag of pixy stix.
I never saw Venice. I never got married. I never had kids.
But I did kill a kid, so I guess that sort of counts, not really.
I lifted my head slightly, my hair spread over Gray's chest like an unattractive mop.
His eyes were shut.
I let out an uncharacteristically loud wail.
"OH MY GOOOD! GRAY! I'M SO SORRY…I BROKE YOUR SPINE, DIDN'T I? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD…" My cries were cut short by Lyon's yelling.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU KILLED HIM! YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM, WHAT THE HELL?" He screeched, jumping past bleachers to come upon our scene.
To our combined surprise, Gray's mouth scrunched up and he groaned.
Not dead. Not dead. Not fucking dead oh my god, thank you satan…thank you so much oh my god…
"God…stop yelling…" Gray groaned, because yeah, Lyon was screaming himself hoarse.
"Gray…" I breathed, ready to pass out from fear, "you scared the shit out of me, fuck you…fuck…you…" With the final 'you', I curled my hand into a fist and landed a mini punch on his chest.
"Juvia…" he wheezed, "can you…get…"
I leapt off of him cartoonishly fast, almost bumping into Lyon on my way up. Why take out only one of the Fullbuster boys, when I can murder both? Heh heh…I'm emotionally unstable…
"Now how the fuck is he supposed to play at state!? It's in two fucking weeks…if he's got a goddamn concussion, he'll be out! What the fuck-" Lyon punctuated his wheezing by grabbing the scruff of my dad's sweatshirt and pulling me up close to his face for maximum effectiveness.
"Lyon, shut the hell up, god dammit, I'm fine…" He croaked, cradling his head in one had and boosting himself up with the other. By now, I was pretty sure that my hand was permanently glued over my mouth from embarrassment, and horror.
"Fuck…this crazy bitch fuckin' decked you…are you sure you don't have a concussion?" Lyon asked, his angry tone twinged with concern. Aw, he really did care about his brother, even though he had a messed up way of showing it.
"Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine…just…" Gray trailed off, standing up woozily and blinking a few times. His eyes came to focus on me and Lyon, who was still holding me by the scruff dangerously close to his face. Gray's face fell.
"Lyon, put her down." He had the decency to sound offended that his brother was manhandling me. Under different circumstances I would've been just as offended, but I was preoccupied trying not to burst into tears of embarrassment/relief that I didn't kill my object of affection.
Lyon obeyed begrudgingly and released me. I felt my feet hit the bleachers. Huh, I hadn't even realized he'd lifted me up.
"Gray, I'm-"
"You were sure in a hurry to get somewhere," Gray interrupted me before I could apologize again. He looked at me and smiled a little bit, melting my heart just a little a lot.
I guiltily looked back at Lyon. He glared, big surprise, and tossed me my bag of pixy stix.
"You dropped this," he said darkly, lips twisted into an angry sneer.
"Oh." I mumbled, tucking it into my sweatshirt pocket, "didn't even notice."
Gray visibly perked up. "are those pixy stix?"
"Yes." I answered quickly, yanking them back out of my pocket and shoving it in his face. "You want some? Take them! I-"
"Whoa, relax. Juvia, Jesus, you look like fuck." He rudely pointed out, not towards my outfit, but to my face, which was no doubt drained of all color.
"S-sorry." I apologized wildly, but I didn't back down on the pixy stix.
Dammit, where the fuck was Jellal with my Pepsi?
Gray selected a blue stick and downed it in one swallow, not unlike what I had been doing a few minutes ago.
"Damn that shit is good. Hit me again." He requested, holding out his hand hazily. I complied eagerly, supplying him with eight sticks. I didn't know if pixy stix were good for people with traumatic brain injuries, but I figured it couldn't hurt. I hoped.
Lyon looked at the both of us, appalled. "What are you two, three years old?"
Gray scoffed, a little less sassy than usual, because he just had a near-death experience. "You're just jealous because you can't join our super-secret pixy stick club." He sneered like a bratty three year old.
"Gray, are you fucking delirious? Fucking snap out of it, or I'll-"
"I'm gonna go sit down…" I interrupted, pointing to my seat awkwardly and skittering away.
God I'm a fucking embarrassment to myself. I just had to knock him on his fucking ass, didn't I? That's just how life works for me, something slightly good happens, then something so horribly bad happens it's like the world will never again be as bright and sunny as it once was.
I spotted Jellal talking to Erza on the ground, she was in her leotard already, looking fabulous, and fucking hot as hell. Her legs rivaled mine and that said something because my legs were one of the only parts of me that I took pride in.
Sting was right. If I went for chicks, I'd go so hard for Erza, Jellal would have to watch his fucking back.
I sat my head on the palms of my hands, miserable from my latest screw-up.
Everything is terrible forever.
"Scoot over. You're my supplier."
I looked up at Gray, perplexed by his decision to sit by the person who nearly gave him severe brain damage.
He held his hand out, and I slapped a pixy stick into it begrudgingly.
"Oh, blue raspberry. You spoil me." He said sarcastically, even though I could tell from his smile and preference that it was his favorite flavor.
"Yeah, well. Jellal paid for them anyways." I covered shortly. Jellal was coming back up the steps anyways, with my pepsi in hand.
"Hey Juvia. Hey…Gray." Jellal said slowly, unsure why I managed to pick up a stray member to our two person crew.
"Sup." He said boyishly, not looking up from his shot of sugar.
"Whatcha doin' here?" Jellal inquired, taking his seat on the other side of me and passing me my pepsi.
"My sister's on the team, she complained that we never come to her meets, so…blackmail." He let out.
My eyebrows squished together. "Ultear's on the gymnastics team? I thought she was still in middle school…" I mused.
"Yeah, well there ain't exactly a surplus of gymnasts in East Magnolia. She got accepted pretty early on." Gray said, grabbily reaching for my pepsi. I let him have some, but not without giving him a quick glare.
Jellal eyed us both confusedly, my out-of-character sharing probably puzzling him.
"I owe him." I said simply, proving to be enough for Jellal.
"Damn right. She about cracked my skull in half." He mimicked a slicing motion with his hands and laughed. He must be losing his marbles, I guess. That's good though, if he's a dummy, I'll have a bigger shot at tricking him into liking me.
"Sounds like Juvia," Jellal murmured, and then the announcements began.
The announcements at this cheap gym were really loud, echoey, and staticy. You could hardly understand a word they were saying, but you got to watch the gymnasts do their stretchy thing and then do whatever activity they did.
Erza was a vault queen. She'd run at that sucker with all she had, barreling towards it faster than I had slammed into Gray, and then would force her hands into the vault and just fly, adding a few tight twists and turns before her feet would slam onto the mat, often bouncing once after the harsh landing.
It really was breathtaking, and I'm sure that Jellal would be twenty times more impressed than I was if he was actually looking.
"I can't watch!" He declared, slapping a hand over his eyes in fear that Erza would snap her ankle in half or something.
"Oh, relax. She'll do fine, do yourself a favor and watch, this shit is bitchin'," I whistled, watching another girl fly off of the uneven bars gracefully.
I felt Gray's shoulder lean onto mine for a second, and I had to remind my heart to continue beating and stop slacking off, probably drooling over Gray like my brain.
"There's Ul," he pointed to the balance beam and a short girl bouncing her arms on it repetitively.
"What level is she?" I asked, pretending to vaguely understand the science of gymnastics. One thing I did know was Erza was a level nine, who, according to the local feed, would be better off in club gymnastics than on a measly high school team.
"Seven, I think."
That was definitely good for someone of her age, at least compared to me. I would probably get something of a negative zero if I were to try. Also, I would end up dead.
Ultear jumped up on the beam and made fancy hand motions.
"The hell is she doing?" Gray muttered, hand dances not pleasing his fancy, I guess.
She pushed forward and did a front flip, accurately landing with one foot planted in front of the other one.
Jellal whistled, impressed by her smooth transition. Because apparently, he could watch someone that wasn't his girlfriend.
"You saw Erza's vault, right?" I confirmed, I wouldn't allow him to leave without seeing her absolutely slay at her sport.
"Y-yeah…she almost fell on her ankle, she could've broken it…" He mumbled the last part quietly and looked to the mats anxiously.
Ultear did a twister-flipper thingy, I don't know what it's called professionally. She landed, a bit more shakily than her first flip, but still infinitely more impressive than any swimming I could accomplish.
"I feel a little bad," Gray said suddenly, startling me a bit from his period of silence evaporating.
"About what?" I questioned, dipping one eyebrow below the other.
"Ul. She…I dunno, she kinda gets overshadowed by the hockey season. Both Lyon and I play, so she's the odd one out. That's probably why she wanted us to come here so bad." He explained, watching Ultear perform her routine.
I looked back at Lyon unconsciously, he looked…sad. As much as I wanted to celebrate his depression, I felt a familiar twist in my gut…my arch nemesis…pity. Gray said that he played hockey too. I wonder if he still played...
Like Ultear, I could assume that he, even as an older brother, was constantly bathed in Gray's shadow. I could never imagine the feeling of being inferior to a sibling, let alone one who was younger than me. Maybe that was why he was more bitter than warheads bathed in battery acid.
Lyon turned to look at me, interrupting my inner monologue and giving me a weird look.
I turned away, knowing very well that he'd caught me staring.
"Well," I began, remembering my half conversation with Gray. "You'll be off to college next year, so she'll have the house to herself."
Gray smiled. "I guess so. Lyon too, damn mooch." He mumbled the last part under his breath sourly.
"It's hard to get on your feet," I said without thinking. Gray looked at me like I'd just sprouted wings and declared myself to be a woman of god.
"Did…you just defend Lyon?" He asked, not so much angry as he was surprised.
"No," I answered quickly, my gaze flickering to Lyon for a minute, dammit, that fuckass was listening to our conversation…
"Alright…" he said, unconvinced.
I ignored Gray's persistent gaze on my cheek for the rest of the meet, annoyingly making me want to scream in excitement and fear. Of course, if we hadn't had a near death experience it might've been a bit more impressive. Maybe he was just plotting his revenge scheme.
When the meet ended, I allowed Jellal to have some alone time with Erza - wink wink – and I went with Gray and Lyon to congratulate Ultear on her 9.47 average, earning her sixth place in the competition.
We were all deathly silent on the way there, the tension between Lyon and Gray making it kind of hard to breath. They were sending each other glares from across the cramped hallway, in a vicious eyeball battle that would never be resolved.
"Gray! Lyon!"
Ultear mauled Lyon, who was the closest sibling, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck and squeezing with unnatural power.
"Fuck Ultear, get off!" Lyon cursed, bouncing on one leg in an attempt to get Ultear to fall off his body like a coconut.
"Gray? You brought your girlfriend?" Ultear teased, sticking her tongue out at him and tightening her grip around Lyon's neck, if it were possible, as well as wrapping her legs around his chest so she hung off of him like a tumor.
"Not-"
"His girlfriend." I finished for him. Ultear just grinned.
"They're already finishing each other's sentences, isn't that cute Lyo?" She jeered, poking Lyon's cheek with an affectionate nickname and ruffling his hair to the point of static electricity.
"Just adorable." He said flatly.
"Get offa him, ya gremlin." Gray peeled Ultear off of Lyon in one swift pluck.
Sometimes, I really wish I had siblings. Or that my parents would just go ahead and adopt Gajeel already. Even though they had no idea who he is. Minor detail, I'd work it out with them at a later time.
"Feed me after midnight, then we'll see who the real gremlin is!" She cheered, gleefully grabbing at Gray's back.
Fuck. They're so cute. Fucking date me Gray.
"We found a bloodstain on one of the gym mats. Wanna see?" Ultear asked excitedly, the sort of glimmer in her eyes that told me she was desperate for her brothers' approval.
"I'll pass." Lyon said.
"Awesome." Gray encouraged.
Ultear dragged gray away hurriedly, and all of a sudden, it dawned on me.
I was alone with Lyon.
The second Gray and Ultear disappeared, he turned to me fiercely, with an accusatory glint in his eyes.
"Look, I don't know what your goal is here, and I don't care. If you're here to fuck up Gray's chances at State, and Magnolia U, congratulations, because you're doing one hell of a job. But if you keep going, sooner or later, your feelings are going to make this all blow up right in your face, so I hope you're ready for when that day comes." He whispered coldly.
My…feelings?
Oh no. Oh no, oh no, I'm so busted. He knows I like Gray. He's going to tell him, and I'll be mortified for the rest of my life. I'll have to go into the witness protection program. It's the only way. Change my name, change my home, change my life-
"What feelings?" I demanded to know, just in case I was overreacting and he thought I had a secret love for umbrellas, or something stupid enough that only Lyon could've thought of it.
He scoffed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You think I don't notice? It's so obvious, and if you think you have even a sliver of a chance, then-"
Oh no. I'm dead. God has officially pulled me from the world of the living, and placed me into a mental home where I can sit in a rocking chair for eight hundred years, reminiscing about the day when my life all just went straight to hell.
"-with me."
Huh? I totally missed what he just said.
He noticed the primitive look on my face and rolled his eyes.
"I said, you have absolutely no chance with me. Forget it." he said confidently.
…Huh.
I felt relief flood through me like fucking exodus. Amazing. He thought I liked him. Gah, the idea was so ludicrous I don't know whether to start puking or just laugh at him.
He had no idea.
I sighed, a happy smile resting on my lips, and a confused, fading smirk on Lyon's.
"What are you so happy about?" He sneered, like my happy attitude had somehow derived from my thirst to murder him, which, in a way, it had.
"Just the fact that I'd rather date Sting for three years, get engaged, and on our wedding day get left at the altar because he finally discovered that he was so, so gay, than ever look at you in any romantic light. Like…ever." I said, slowly and sweetly so he could understand every word.
Perplexed, he looked at me for extra conformation.
"Just one question."
"Hit me."
"Who the hell is Sting?"
Oh. Damn. That probably would've made much more sense, and proven to be much more impactful if he actually knew Sting.
I stared at him blankly, hoping my point would still sink in without excess clarification.
He sucked in a breath, realizing that I was indeed, serious about this.
"…Oh."
"Yeah, oh." I repeated dryly, enjoying the awkward situation we were now thrust into.
"I…read that wrong." He admitted. Heh, at least he's not being a tool about it.
"Better luck next time." I added crisply, before whirling around in the most epic of fashions and strutting off like I was motherfucking Tyra Banks and not the huge loser Juvia Lockser that I was.
With perfect timing, Jellal waved me over to his car so that we could leave. I felt a little bad about leaving without saying godbye to Gray and Ultear, but there was no way in hell I was going back to Lyon-Central. That atmosphere had to be preserved.
For once, my day was actually looking pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.
"So," Jellal started casually as he started up the car, "when did you start liking Gray?"
...you know what? Just…fuck it.
"Four years ago."
His eyes visibly widened, but he nodded slowly.
"And you…just started acting on it this year?'
"Yup." I said, popping the 'p' with surprising mental stability, which I knew was a façade, but it was wearing up pretty well.
"I don't suppose you want any help?" He added hopefully.
"Jellal, I love you, but if you make one single contribution I'll chop your balls off and mail them to Lucy's cat." I said, cheerfully refusing to meet his eyes as I stared out the window, my eye probably twitching.
"Ah. That sort of arrangement." He breathed out, "and…am I the only person who knows?"
Should I tell him about Gajeel…? Yes? No? Maybe…?
"Yes. And it had better stay that way, or else you might wake up without organs, who knows. Anything could happen, really."
"…Juvia?"
I blinked, staring at my reflection in the sidewiew mirroe, my pathetic, stupid reflection.
"Yeah?"
"I think you have a pretty good shot."
I smiled a little bit my sad reflection disappearing for who knows how long.
"I hope you're right."
i just wanted to add this one thing and then nine thousand words happened
also, wth there were like twenty five reviews last chapter. I cried almost as hard as I did when I found out about zm.
I should probably just start pm-ing you guys for answers now, huh.
Anyways, you guys are fabulous snicker doodles thx for listening to this weird pointless story and telling me what you liked/disliked. It reallyreally means a lot to me in the long run :)
response-z
a river of stars: thx idk I just kind of attempted ultear and it didn't work so I just fucked it up and yeah :) gruvia romance jfc idk when ill get something in there but I do know when their first kiss will be XP im annoying trust me
guest: thx! I try to make juvia shit tons of awesome
AsDarknessSpreads: oMG THANK YOU I TRIED SO HARD ON THAT LINE U HAVE NO IDEA bc someone once gave my brother a jesus pamphlet on halloween instead of candy it was a true outrage. ftftfftft thx for reading and reviewing and stuff that's vv nice you nice human v nice
Zstar1: thank you! sorry for the wait, I hope I didn't let u down ;(
guest: ye this one was way longer it wa to write u hear me a bitch I hope u liked it though
chokecherries: ohmygod date me ok thx I just kinda poke the keyboard and see what happens literally thank you so much ily
and also listening to 80s music at night is literally me I mean me literally same bye ly
guest: thxthxthx I tried to keep it up so yeah do tell me what u thought
guest(2?): thank you v much
guest(again? I guess? thx anyway love): thank you!
anya: yes she liiiiiikes him
sheryl: that's ok u can date me instead sheryl I will buy you ice cream and cake and chocolate and also heres an update thank you! (I also left you a disclaimer so u don't die horribly that would be bad on my part)
guest: I like hoe I portrayed them too
Lyralei: thx school sux don't do it its bad and thankyouthankyouthankyou! you are vv nice and sorry about the ul/ur confusion!
muffin-dragon227: you mean like drugs jk jk I was watching breaking bad and I needed that ok but DAMMIT I STILL HAVENT FUCKING READ SHAVED ICE JUST STEP ON ME ok but yeah I really tried on that evergreen bit, hopefully ill be able to pullit off again next chapter. THANK YOU KINDLY MUCH FOR THE HEADCANONS BC YOURE AMAZING AND CREATIVE THX ily2 hope this was a little bit past mediocre bc that's were I set the bar
fireXmaiden: thank YOU LOVE omg I love you you sounded so out of breath in your review xxx stay kindly
wtf gray: ikR I want to braid grays hair badly oh my god I forgot to total the fuck count lemme just check oh oK 536 FUCKS WE WON YAAAAAAAAAAAY I don't have pizza but I have caramel and starbursts! (not together, im not into masochism) heheh side comments don't listen to me im weird
valences: thank you thank you kind baby egg ily I was gonna write it out but I have something better planned for next chapter B) touchy touch ily
guest: thanks! sorry, im kind of a trucker when it comes to swear words xxx I tried to tone it down a bit more...ddnt really work, but enjoy anyways!
TiTi: heheehe its my goal to embarrass with laughter thank you v much
LucyHeartfilia4068: thank you thank you! hapoe you enjoyed this little nugget
hotrodren: thank you sweet lady ilysm no don't admire me im bananas but have fun with your two year old :)) hopefully they wont be too terrible, for my brother they sure were.
GuestsDontTwerkTheyRead: thank you! I tried to keep ultear nice and creepy for u
Little Miss Z: thanx no run away from my tumblr im creepy but your review made me smile so much awe ilysm I hope I updated to your liking! o the tampons that's hilarious omf
queen . drop: (sorry ffnet wouldn't let me type your name normal) literally this review was so unexpected like I was actually writing this when I got it and it really motivated me to yknow update faster but THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVED YOUR REVIEW SO MUCH IDK WHAT TO EVEN SAY BUT LITERALLY I LOVE YOU LETS GET MARRIED
qts everywhere