Hi all!

I am really sorry for not uploading for over two months but I am back! Between suffering from a case of writer's block, I also wasn't at home for the entire of July in a place with no internet connection!

But I am back! Thank you for your continued support x

"His name is Alexander Luca. A known Southern Rebel and the man who attacked you the other day."

It was now 3 o'clock in the morning and I was telling Maxon the truth - well most of it. Once Maxon had reclaimed his composure, I had convinced him to return to the ball for a few hours. I had watched him - with a slight hint of jealousy - twirl around the floor with Kriss in his arms. They had seemed so perfect. Kriss had become a great Princess and would lead the country well once Clarkson died - there was no way that he would step down willingly.

While the guests had laughed and drank, I had found a comfy chair where I could watch the events without having to get involved. This plan had proved successful up until the point where I had been invited to dance. Hastily, I had declined the offer and escaped, leaving the guards to watch over the celebration. After it had been announced that the guests were Selection Members, I had felt more out of place even though I was one of them.

At 12 o'clock in the morning, I had been typing away at my computer, when a light knocking could be heard. Calling for whoever it was to enter, I had looked up to find a nervous Maxon. He wanted to know and I was prepared to tell him.

But as he sat there looking at the photo, realization dawned on his face. He recognized Alexander. I sat back in my chair, while scanning the documents I held for relative information to avoid having to sit in the silence.

"He was there. At the engagement."

"Yes." I replied simply. "It is his last known location until now as he is a very hard man to track down - even with the information provided by America."

"So she escaped?" He asked.

"As far as we can tell." This gave me a questioning look from Maxon. "We don't know what happened to her. She just came out of that experience a changed woman."

"And I caused it."

It was at this point that I realized just how much blame we were putting on ourselves for the tragedy of our romance. My throat seized as I tried to restrain myself from becoming too emotional. Falling apart in front of the prince was not an option I had the luxury of having. But while I tried to restrain myself, I was simultaneously cursing because I could have avoided all of this by just staying at the base. I hadn't been forced to come here but rather I had volunteered because I was worried about him. If I was being truthful then I had never stopped caring for him no matter what my struggles were.

I looked back to Maxon and realized the time. I needed rest and I could only hope that he tried to sleep - I had noticed the dark circles ever since I had arrived which gave me the sign that sleeping was still an issue for him. I asked the prince to leave, much to his dismay, with promises that I would finish the conversation soon. I also made a mental note that I needed to get the idea that everything to do with me was caused by him - I didn't want the rest of his life to be a misery.

But even after Maxon had departed, I still didn't sleep. My job required me to finalize so much that sleep was not an option for me. I could have gone to sleep earlier if it had not been for the fact that Andrew had evilly given me more papers to sign sneakily while I had been out.

Just before I started the work, I logged onto my computer. I had seen everyone's amazement when I had had it brought in - because it was one of the only computers in existence. I checked the security cameras - and clicked on the prison cameras. I then clicked on the only cell that was occupied - Alexander's. I watched as he stalked round his cell like an animal. It occurred to me that he had never been confined to a small area for this long. In the time I had known him, he had always been on the move. He had traveled all over Illéa trying to encourage more to join his cause. Just as I was about to turn off the screen, Alexander stopped and looked towards the camera. I sat frozen as he stared directly at me - as if he knew I was watching him. I quickly turned off the screen before harsh memories of our time together could haunt me. I would have to face him again soon - just not quite yet.

The next morning brought new challenges. I had meetings with about fifteen different members of security and the King had also made an appearance to try and force information out of me. But the moment that had caught my attention was when Aspen entered my chambers.

"I thought I had asked to speak to your General?" I asked without looking at him.

"I want to be part of your force." This did not seem like a request and more like an order.

"You can't." I said bluntly without looking up from my report - which happened to be for the ball.

"Then how can I apply?" It became clear to me that he wouldn't give up easily.

I turned slowly in my chair to face him, only to be greeted with an irritated Aspen. I looked him straight in the eye - which was hard to do considering that I was sitting and he was standing.

"Each member of my Elites are sent to find someone who is willing to join and then I approve their choice. There is no way that I will approve you." I said bluntly - trying to keep a straight face.

Although Aspen tried to hide it from me, I could tell that he was angry with my statement. A sudden wave of guilt went through me but I knew it was for the best that I stayed away from anyone from my past. Sensing that he was about to burst, I quickly clarified my statement.

"I promised America I would keep you safe."

It was as though America was my solution for any problem I faced. It wasn't that I didn't believe that Aspen wasn't good enough for the job - he had been recommended several times over the years - I just didn't want him to be with me. I wanted nothing to do with my past - even though I was currently facing every ghost I knew. It may have seemed selfish to everyone else, but I didn't care. I looked back down at my reports again to avoid eye contact with Aspen. But it seemed that he didn't believe we were finished. Before I could say anything to him, Andrew beat me to it.

"Back to your station soldier." he called in a strict tone.

I silently smiled to myself. Andrew knew all of the stories, so he knew exactly what every person I knew meant to me so it didn't surprise me that he spoke to Aspen like that. He had always held a slight dislike for my former flame after all that I had told him. But Andrew wasn't the type of man to ever show his dislike - he was too professional for that. I listened to Aspen move - only to stop when he saw Lucy.

Wondering what was taking so long, I looked to see them staring at each other in shock. It was clear to me that they hadn't seen each other in a long time and there now seemed to be a awkward atmosphere in the room. I became annoyed at the lack of knowledge on what had happened between them. The unknown past of my former friends was becoming much more of an issue for me on determining how best to go in a situation. But before I could say anything, Aspen had broken the stare and continued on his way out of the room. Lucy seemed very distressed by what had happened which meant that I let her leave - seeing as she didn't want to cry in front of two strangers.

"This isn't good for you." Andrew warned, "I warned you not to come!"

"AND WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO ANDREW!?" I screamed back, losing all self control.

All of the pain from watching Lucy cry, Aspen so angry and the transformation of Maxon hit me like a wall. I had wanted to ensure their safety ever since I had left Luca's grasp. When I had seen them for the first time after all of my suffering I had wanted to call and tell them how much I missed them - but I hadn't. I had erased all of who I was to make sure that Alexander couldn't find me - yet that had clearly failed. All of my mental preparation had failed the minute that I had arrived through the intricate metal gates.

But even though I was feeling all of this emotion, I was unfairly targeting Andrew just because he had happened to say something at the wrong moment. He had always tried to make sure I had never been put in an uncomfortable situation and he had argued for days trying to convince me not to come.

Taking a breath, I apologized to my assistant and focused back on my reports. But Andrew continued to stand there.

"What do you want?" I asked quietly.

"Maxon wants to go on a trip - to see your family."

I had no words. It was as if Andrew had come up to me and slapped me in the face. Questions ran through my mind faster than I could answer them. Why?

After that I couldn't continue to work on the stupid reports. I needed to find out Maxon's intentions.

I quickly stood up and made my way towards the entrance, where Maxon and his family stood. Clarkson was clearly unhappy about the situation as well as it was the only time he had seemed glad to see me.

"Miss Eadlyn! I am so pleased that you were able to come and stop my son from going."

"I will not be deterred Father." Maxon replied strongly - to the amazement of most who were present.

"Then I'll go with him."

The happy look that Clarkson wore was quickly replaced with his usual scowl. Realizing that the rest of the family was also looking at me, I tried to explain myself.

"I need to go out of the borders to speak to my soldiers. I will escort your son to his destination."

It seemed odd for me to suggest that I would leave with Maxon to visit my family - who also thought I was dead. But to be honest, I wanted to see them! I hadn't seen them for 7 years which had been one of the hardest part of this experience. I had had one of my men check on them regularly so I knew where everyone had got to in their lives. But even though I knew what had happened to them, I had never had the courage to visit myself. But now I had this opportunity, I finally felt strong enough to actually do it. I also wanted to find out why Maxon wanted to visit my family.

After a while,I finally managed to convince Clarkson that it was a good idea - this did involve saying how much it would improve Maxon's public image to be seen visiting a family in Illéa. I tried to hide my annoyance but was glad that it worked. Soon, I had arranged for armed guards and vehicles to escort us to the border of the house - Maxon had fitted it with security before he had gifted it to me - and then myself and Maxon would visit my family.

As I sat down next to Maxon in the car, my stomach knotted a thousand times over. As I looked towards Maxon, he had turned white and was staying extremely quiet as he stared out of the window. I could tell that he was scared but I was beyond scared.

I was going home.