Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs the Moftiss and the BBC.

Warning(s): This is bad. No really. The jokes are terrible, the puns are terrible and amateurish (even if there is very little of them), and you all are probably going to hate me by the time you're done if you haven't left already. I'm sincerely sorry for what you are about to read. Not like it's stopping me from posting it for the hell of it, though. Otherwise, all warnings from last time apply. Also, the ones I forgot last chapter - slightly cracky and probably ooc. You've been thoroughly warned.

Sherlock

Ficlet

Thinking Outside the Box

Summary: Billy is unamused when he finds himself trapped and in the dark.

It was dark.

Very Dark actually.

Thankfully I got used to the dark years ago so I'm hardly upset. Mostly.

Oh! I'm sorry, you don't know me do you? Well how rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Billy. Just Billy if you please. Nice and simple. I did have another name once, quite distinguished. However, I enjoy the simplicity that is Billy and find it suits me.

Though, I do hope this next part doesn't frighten you. I'm, well, I'm not all put together. No, no! Goodness, no. I'm not mentally unhinged, don't worry about that. My mind is perfectly intact, but, well, it's the other thing.

I'm a skull. Really. Quite literally a skull, a human cranium. Please, don't ask where the rest of me is, I don't know for sure. We lost each other sometime ago and were never reunited. It's not too much of an issue though, not like I could do much more with it anyway. In fact, I'd say my life has significantly improved. After all, it's quite a step up from being buried in dirt and cobwebs to being on the warm mantle of an elegant fireplace and rooming with a madman.

Well, the madman bit probably puts most off, but I find him fascinating. His new flatmate is alright, if a little dull. He reminds me of a hedgehog oddly enough. I digress, however.

The point is, I've been taken from my mantle. Again. Though I'm not entirely sure where I've been put. So I've been trying to figure it out.

Now, this may fly over your head a bit, but the fact that I'm a skull doesn't mean I'm incapable of deducing things on my own. Though I do not have the finer senses such as smell and taste, I can see, to an extent, and my sense of space and time is impeccable. Came in handy when I was buried six feet under.

What I can tell is that it appears Mrs. Hudson has taken me again. Perhaps for my companion getting a head start on his maggot experiment. He said it was supposed to be the crown jewel of his experiments this week. Apparently his landlady disagreed.

She didn't walk for too long. I'd say not even five minutes. I couldn't tell which way, considering my face was buried in her bosom. Would have made me blush so long ago, but I'm more experienced now and have already reached my peak years of life and went over the hill of old age.

I assume she went up stairs rather than down them, considering, er, her chest moved less than if she went down. Don't look at me like that, remember I became quite experienced in my old age! Anyway, I remember rattling, creaking hinges, and then something sliding open. Then she dropped me with little ceremony and trapped me inside whatever this dreaded box is. I assume it's a box. Or box like. I know boxes, considering a coffin is a type of box. I'm very familiar with coffins.

Oh! Wait! What's this? Light? Oh god, don't tell me they came for me again. I'm more suited for a highway to hell than a stairway to heaven, anyway.

"Sherlock!" Oh, never mind, it's the hedgehog. Better, but not by much.

"What in blazes is your skull doing in my pants drawer!?"

P-pants!? Oh lord above! I've never been more thankful for my lack of olfactory senses. Goodness, I probably smell like pellets now.

"My skull?"

"Yes, your skull. Billy. Why is Billy in my drawer with my pants?" Oh use your head man, why else!? It's no walk in the park for me either. How embarrassing. At least the red ones aren't in here.

"Well, Mrs. Hudson is certainly getting creative isn't she?"

"If by 'creative' you mean 'slightly creepy' then yes."

"I do hope she knows that putting Billy in with your pants wouldn't stop me from looking in there. It's not the first time she's used it. Hm. Alright, maybe not so creative, perhaps losing her touch."

"Wait, what!?" I sometimes wonder why they haven't kissed yet. While not exactly smiled upon back in my day, I do acknowledge times have changed. They've already got a head start on the arguing and living together. Might as well sign the damn paper and be done with it. I know I'm rambling again but it makes me feel better than thinking about where my frontal lobe has been sitting.

"Why were you in my pants drawer!?"

"Come along, Billy. We have experiments to perform."

"Are you going to answer me? Sherlock!"

Hmph. Honestly. The hedgehog's pants drawer again? Third bloody time, I swear! If I didn't already have a bone to pick with that woman I certainly do now!

I once again apologize for the trash and terrible punage that is this chapter. I truly am sorry. I don't even care for puns but I couldn't help it! It's like I felt compelled to write them as I made this. I probably could have wrote this without all the terrible jokes and puns but I my imagination (and possibly Billy) possessed my hands and I couldn't stop myself once I started. Er, oops? I also apologize for any British terms that might be misused in this chapter. I know some British vocabulary but lack personal experience to fall back on.

Sincerely,

Fallen L. Angel

P.S. Hopefully you guys didn't get too much of a headache from this. ;) (I'msorryIcan'tstop!Helpme!)