Robbing the Memory Bank

(June 2015)

7: Down in the Lab

Dr. Stanford Pines still maintained his old laboratory space beneath the Mystery Shack. When his and his wife Lorena's house was finished, it would include its own spacious library/lab room, but even then, Ford intended to keep the Shack labs operational. After all, there he had three floors of equipment and specimens, as much as a reasonable-sized house could contain. And there was all the potential fuss of packing and moving. And he still held legal title to the Shack, though the deed had been re-recorded as a joint document between him and Stan.

And, since Ford had learned of the difficulties Stan had run into when Gideon wanted the Shack for his own, they had carefully incorporated under both state and federal law so the deed was no longer under the jurisdiction only of Gravity Falls law—where, thanks to Quentin Trembley, the "Finders Keepers" clause made it legal for anybody who could produce a deed to own whatever property was named in the document. Now anyone trying to steal title to the Shack would be stopped by state and federal laws.

Anyway, Ford had decided that, owing to considerations of equipment, convenience, and physical space, not to mention the mystic protective field around the structure, he needed to maintain his right to use the subterranean levels of the Shack for research and development, so he hung onto the labs.

Come to that, he kept meaning to get around to emptying the emergency shelter complex, concealed beneath a fake tree in the forest—the bunker, Dipper called it. He would need space for some of the equipment he'd kept there in his contingency retreat, and there would be enough room in the Shack labs. Also, there were certain disturbing loose ends down there that needed attending to. . ..

However, at the moment, Ford had other immediate concerns. He had asked Dipper to join him, and the two went down to the second lab level, where beneath the harsh blue-white glare of a fluorescent light, they sat at a table. Ford plopped down a thick manila folder of documents and pictures, as well as his Journal 6, to which he referred now and then.

"First," Ford said, settling into his office chair, "tell me about this experience of Pacifica Northwest's."

Dipper confessed, "There's not a lot to tell. She got catfished by some guy online and sent him a picture of herself, and then he ghosted."

Ford stared at his great-nephew. "I . . . don't have the faintest idea what that means."

Dipper grinned self-consciously. In fact, he had picked up most of the lingo from Mabel. Though he had an interesting Internet history, Dipper spent zero time chatting to others, because that made him feel self-conscious and phony.

He said, "Uhm, 'catfished' means some guy, or maybe even girl, pretended to be somebody else in a computer chat room. He asked Pacifica to send him a photo of herself, wearing a sweater, and he was supposed to send her a selfie—a picture he took of himself—in return. She sent hers, and then he ghosted. That means he just stopped responding and never sent the photo he'd promised, as if she had turned invisible to him. I guess usually they say that when someone who's been dating just cuts off communication with no reasons why. Like, 'Jane was dating Harold, but he ghosted on her' would mean that Harold wouldn't answer the phone or respond to emails and all. Like he just wanted her to forget him."

"I see," Ford said. "Now, you said something about a sweater she was wearing?"

"Right. Remember Weirdmageddon—well, I mean, you don't remember a lot of it because Bill captured you on the first day, but when we holed up in the Shack and formed the rescue team, Mabel made sweaters for everybody—even Chutzpar, the Manotaur—but she gave Pacifica one of her own sweaters, one of Mabel's favorites. It was the one with the llama on the front, and that's why on the Zodiac—"

"Miss Northwest took the spot marked with a llama," Ford mused. "That's informative. And on one level, disturbing."

He showed Dipper the enigmatic clues he had gathered, including the note that read "7 in Oregon." Along with that—a list of the dead, now running to a quarter of a page.

"What does this mean?" Dipper asked.

Ford leaned back in his chair. "Mason, I'm becoming more and more convinced that someone is trying to ferret out the identities of people who were represented on the Zodiac. I'm not sure why."

Dipper had been hesitating. Now he blurted, "I know you don't approve, but I went to consult Bill Cipher in the clearing around his statue. He confirms what you've been saying. He gave me this confusing rhyme." He reached into his vest and pulled out a slip of paper, which he passed to Ford.

Stanford adjusted his glasses and read Dipper's transcription of Cipher's words:

Ten of you,

Most old, some new.

Each is right, each is wrong.

Each is weak, each is strong

One won't do,

Or three or two—

The power of ten

Is a slim chance to win.

"It sounds like Bill's nonsense," Ford agreed. "He is so infuriating! You can't trust anything he tells you, because he always has meanings layered over meanings." He drummed the six fingers of his right hand on the table top. "I hope that whatever remains of Bill in the Mindscape isn't secretly re-gathering his power. How did he appear to you, Mason? Did he physically manifest?"

"No, he was just in the Mindscape. But—he didn't show up. I mean, visually. I didn't dream that I saw him. I just spoke with him in the dark."

"Are you sure it was Bill?"

"Pretty sure. I mean, the voice sounded just like his, and he even tricked me. He sent a message back, carved in stone and in code—well, not a code, a cipher—but the carvings in the rock weren't real, and Mabel couldn't see the inscription. In fact, it faded out as I watched it. Wendy even wrote down the symbols as I dictated them on the phone, but her writing vanished too. What was left was a pencil sketch of Bill, and Wendy swears she didn't do it." He reached in his pocket for the inventory sheet and showed it to Ford.

"Mm. Not unlike a self-portrait. A Cipher selfie, I suppose. Do you remember what the cipher message said?"

"Not really," Dipper confessed. "See, I thought we had a copy of it, so I didn't try to memorize it. I do remember some of the letters, and that it rhymed."

Ford frowned. "Rhymed?"

"I mean the last few letters of each word—there were only two words—were the same. Anyhow, the symbols looked like the same ones in Grunkle Stan's fake carving on the Talking Rock."

"Oh, the 'Welcome Suckers' thing," Ford said.

Dipper nodded. "From the overlap, I figured out these letters."

He produced his last bit of paper, a 3x5 note card: S _ R _ _ _ ER _ _ _ _ ER.

Dipper explained, "Now, whatever comes after the first S is unique to the cipher. Whatever comes first in the second word is also unique. But the three letters after the first R and the second, third, and fourth letters in the second word are the same symbols, so I figure they rhyme. It's just too short for me to figure it out with letter frequency tables."

"STRANGER DANGER," Ford said drily.

Dipper blinked. "Why . . . couldn't I see that?"

"Because it doesn't help us much," Ford said, laying down the note card. "Like most of what Bill says, it's equivocal."

Dipper tilted his head to look at his great-uncle. "You mean it could be taken two different ways."

"At least two," Ford said. "It could be a warning to beware of a stranger. Or it could be saying that the danger we face is stranger than anything we've encountered. Or—who really knows with Bill? Where did you seem to be when you spoke with him? What was the landscape like?"

"I didn't see. We were in the dark," Dipper said. "Really, pitch-dark. It didn't seem scary, though, sort of . . . warm and enclosing, I guess? And he said something strange. He said he was the old Axolotl's prisoner, or that the Axolotl had him or something."

"Hmm. The Axolotl is a force that keeps the Multiverse balanced. Not exactly a god, not exactly even a being, more an awareness, an embodiment of an ideal. In my journey through alternate dimensions, I encountered an Oracle that spoke of the Axolotl. And from what I've learned from Stanley, Bill appealed to that force just before Stanley destroyed him—in fact, from my own dreams and brief encounters since Weirdmageddon, I think Bill's last deal was with the Axolotl. He begged to be allowed to return from annihilation, and the price was that he would reform. I don't mean 're-form' as in 'take shape again,' but as in 'try to be a better—uh, trans-dimensional demon'. I'm not sure Bill ever meant to mend his ways or intended to—but if he gave his word to the Axolotl, he would be compelled to obey some rules."

"That's a punishment for Bill in itself," Dipper pointed out. "He's chaotic. Rules stifle him."

"Indeed, the rescue may be worse than the alternative, from Bill's point of view." Ford picked up the poem and stared at it as though daring it to give up its secrets. "Ten of you, most old, some new," he mused. "Yes, that sort of fits the Zodiac. There are ten of us represented on it. But 'some old, some new?' We're all still alive."

Dipper said, "I don't even want to bring this up, but—remember Robbie Valentino? The boy who wore the hoodie with the broken heart?"

"Oh, yes," Ford said. "When we tried to form the Zodiac, I remember he was uncomfortable holding hands. Not as bad as my brother, but—"

"He's not wearing the hoodie any longer," Dipper said. "He gave the original one to Teek—T.K. O'Grady, Mabel's boyfriend."

Ford's dark eyebrows rose. "Really? Has anything significant happened in Robbie's life lately?"

Dipper almost laughed. "He got married! To Tambry. Right after their high-school graduation. And they've gone to Los Angeles for a while to make a professional recording of their music."

"Of course," Ford said. "That change in his life situation might well have changed his outlook, his attitude, and might disqualify him. And I'm sure he has no inkling of what he did, but in giving the emblem to T.K., Robbie symbolically gave him entrance to the Zodiac. Is T.K. by any chance not happy in love?"

"That . . . depends," Dipper said. "He loves Mabel, but—well, Mabel is Mabel. Sometimes she makes it difficult for him. I don't think he'll stop loving her, but sometimes he's not exactly happy."

"The young lover who languishes," Ford said. "Yes, it may well be that T.K. is now part of the Zodiac, and Robbie no longer is."

"Then you and Grunkle Stan aren't on the Zodiac any longer," Dipper said. "You and he both are married men now."

"No, I think we are." Ford smiled. "It isn't that a person represented on the Zodiac can't be married. It's more a case of fitting the patterns—the broken-hearted young man is an archetype—the pining young lover. When he finds a, well, we'll unscientifically call it a true love, he disqualifies himself. You're the Pine Tree—sturdy of purpose, with a solid heart, but flexible. Soos is the Question Mark, the unknown quantity, with hidden depths. Miss Northwest is the unsuspected warrior—llamas can be unexpectedly fierce."

"I thought they were sort of like big lam—uh, sheep, I mean."

"Look up 'berserk llama syndrome,'" Ford advised him. "Miss Northwest appears to be docile and obedient on the outside, like a lamb—but when pressed, she's a fierce warrior. Why are you looking embarrassed?"

"Nothing. I have a lamb phobia," Dipper said hastily.

"Your sister is the Shooting Star—dazzlingly brilliant in her way, but unpredictable. My brother is the arcane symbol—like a fish about to feed. Fish are symbolic of those who move below the surface of life, those who are slippery and wily. You see? Marriage wouldn't change his nature, or mine—of course, I am the freak."

"No," Dipper objected. "You're not—"

"Oh, yes, I am," Ford said, waggling his six fingers. "Marked as different from birth. My difference isn't affected by marriage. But the other symbols—Well, Fiddleford is still the studious man of science. Wendy is still cool when danger threatens. Hm. I wonder . . . the Pentacle—that was young Gideon. He's no longer a fake psychic—but he was, at least temporarily, a wolf boy. Pentacles figure heavily in werewolf lore. He may still be on the wheel, but perhaps not."

"Do you think that Bill's warning means we shouldn't trust Teek?" Dipper asked anxiously. "Is he a danger to us?"

"I wouldn't think so," Ford said. "It would be more likely that—hmm."

"What?" Dipper asked.

"I was thinking back to last winter, Mason. Wendy, Ice on the Zodiac, was menaced by the T'klatlumodh. She said that was the first time in her whole life that she'd ever felt a strong personal fear—but she faced it and dealt with it, so her cool courage is intact."

"I—guess that's good news," Dipper said.

Ford didn't seem to hear him as he continued, "Then, at nearly the same time, Gideon was bitten by a werewolf. It's possible those constituted the opening gambit in the—well, call him the Unknown—the Unknown's game. If the Zodiac, as embodied in the people it symbolizes, is somehow a threat to him—or her—or even it—it's possible that the Unknown is aware of that and in moving against Wendy and Gideon was trying to weaken or destroy the team."

"And now Pacifica's in his sights," Dipper said. "What should we do?"

"I can see only one thing to do," Ford returned, his voice determined. "We have to find this Unknown and make sure he, or she, can't destroy us. That may mean—" he broke off, apparently hesitant to continue.

Dipper finished for him: "We have to destroy him first."

At about that moment, Pacifica and Mabel walked out of the pizza restaurant with Jude. "This has been fun," he said.

"Yeah, it has!" Mabel replied with enthusiasm. She turned, walking backwards so she could face Jude. "Hey, here, take this." She produced a yellow card and handed it to Jude.

He looked at it. "The Mystery Shack?"

"Yeah, it's a great tourist attraction!" Mabel said. "When you get time, drop in and see everything. That's a free pass. I'll be there!" She nudged Pacifica with her elbow. "Paz can be there—just give me a call when you plan to come! My number's on the card. Uh—Paz, you can be there, right?"

"Oh, sure," Pacifica said. She smiled at Jude. "I had a good time, too."

Mabel playfully shoved Jude's shoulder. "See? Something's happening here! So—don't be a stranger!"