I had a hard time explaining the box of supplies to everyone at Doveport. None of us could make sense as to why Negan would give us not just the medication, but all of the other things as well. I thought it was a gesture of good faith, but was unsure of why he would show us kindness. Maybe he pitied us? That seemed more likely.
Either way, we still needed to gather more supplies for him. Over the next few days, Eric, Amy, and I made routine trips to the traffic jam we had discovered to collect as much as we could. Although we didn't discover anything as good as the medication we had come across on our first trip, we did find plenty of food and clothes.
It was kind of haunting to see the many suitcases that were shoved into trunks, now ours for the taking. We filled up our car multiple times and even spent an entire day siphoning gas. We felt we had more than enough to please Negan, but Amy and I decided to go out on the last day to see if we could find anything else. Eric stayed back at Doveport to help Phil work on getting another vehicle working.
I drove down the road and glanced over at Amy, who looked uncomfortable. We hadn't talked much since Negan had come into our lives. I missed our conversations and wondered if she was still upset with me about lying. As we headed to the abandoned cars, I wished the car had a CD player. The silence was unnerving.
We reached the traffic jam and I drove in the ditch, passing the cars we'd already scavenged through. Once we reached some untouched cars, I put the car into park. The engine turned off and as I went to open the car door, Amy finally spoke.
"I'm pregnant," she said it so matter-of-factly that I expected her to tell me she was joking immediately after. When she didn't, I turned and looked at her with wide eyes.
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"I think I'm 3 months along. I'm gonna start showing soon."
"3 months?!" I gasped. "Amy!"
"I know. I should have said something, but we've had a lot on our plate lately." She was just staring out her window, not looking at me. She paused and then spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear her.
"I'm scared, Elle.
"I couldn't blame her. Motherhood in itself was hard. Now she was bringing a baby into this world. We didn't have any supplies for a baby. We weren't prepared. We would need a doctor. We needed baby clothes and food. We needed to start preparing for it.
"I'm sorry," I said, reaching out and putting a hand on her arm. She finally turned to look at me and I could see she had started to cry.
"No. It's fine. I'll be fine. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch lately. My hormones are a mess." She wiped at her eyes and I smiled understandingly at her.
"It's okay. I get it. I haven't exactly been Miss Sunshine either these days."
She chuckled and then looked out the front window as if she was lost in thought. I turned to look at the cars too.
"You don't think he would hurt it, right?" Amy asked, rubbing at her nose. I didn't quite understand and furrowed my brow.
"Negan, I mean. You don't think he would kill my baby, do you?" She was looking at me again with scared eyes.
"Why would he kill your baby?" I was confused at her question. We didn't know him that well, but after he had given us the box of supplies I was starting to think there was more to him than we had initially thought. I knew Amy didn't like him, and maybe it was her hormones making her think of crazy scenarios, but as she continued to stare at me I realized this had been on her mind a lot recently.
"I don't know," she confessed. "But I'm scared, Elle. We don't know what he's gonna do."
She wasn't wrong. Negan was chaotic. I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't be a threat to her child, but I could make her another promise.
"Amy, I swear to you, I will never let him lay a hand on you or your baby."
She looked down at her stomach and nodded. She knew I wasn't telling her that just to make her feel better. Amy was like my sister. If Negan, or anyone else for that matter, tried to hurt her child, I would kill them.
"I know, Elle. But he has more men than us. He's got a fucking army and we are sitting ducks. He's just waiting for us to fuck up so he can hurt us." A few tears fell down her face as she continued. "I always wanted to be a mom, but I don't wanna bring a baby into this. With the walkers and Negan…." She broke into a sob and I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to say to make things better because she was right.
It was only a matter of time before we made a mistake. Amy's pregnancy would soon be an obvious weakness to our community and I understood her fears now. It would be easy for him to use that against us. We didn't know if he would or not and that was her biggest fear: the unknown.
Amy sniffled and rubbed at her face again, wiping away her tears. I sighed and tried to think of what to say.
"We have supplies that will last us weeks now. He's going to be impressed. We're going to do good by him." I tried to point out the positive.
Amy nodded and exhaled loudly.
"Does Eric know?" I asked.
"Yeah," she whispered, sniffling. "He's excited."
"He should be! And you should be too. You're gonna make a good mom, Amy," I said, squeezing her shoulder. She smiled a bit at me.
"Thanks, Elle."
We both continued to sit in the car for a while longer until Amy placed her hand on the car handle and opened it.
"Might as well get to it," she muttered, closing the door behind her. I got out of the car and followed her towards the parked cars.
We rummaged through a few cars and found more water and food. I was loading some into our trunk when Amy called my name.
I headed over to where she was standing next to a minivan with the back doors open. She didn't turn to look at me as she smiled and stared into the vehicle. I stepped over and looked into the backseat and couldn't help but laugh.
It was full of baby supplies. There was baby food and clothes, a car seat, toys, bottles, and diapers. The boxes were stacked up to the roof of the van. I turned to Amy smiling when I saw her expression had changed to a frown. I turned to look at the van again expecting it all to disappear. When it didn't I turned back to Amy.
"What's wrong?" I asked her, cocking my head to the side.
"I wonder what happened to them," she mumbled, still regarding the van. She was thinking about the owners of this van. That had just been trying to get away from the walkers and probably had to abandon their vehicle like the others. Their demise was beneficial to us, but that didn't mean we enjoyed it.
There was a ping of guilt I had felt emptying out all the different cars, but it wasn't like they were still using all this stuff. Most of these people were probably among the living dead now. We have to do what we have to do to survive. Feeling guilty was a small price to pay for survival.
"Don't think about it," I said, turning from her to grab a box of diapers. "We need it." I walked by Amy carrying a box as she continued to stare at the van, and then she started taking out boxes too.
We loaded up our car with the baby supplies and decided to head home for the day. Negan was due to visit the next day and we needed to be ready for him. The car sped down the road and Amy seemed a little more relaxed than before.
"That was a good find," I said, trying to make small talk.
Amy nodded. "It was. I can't wait to show Eric," she smiled at me. She looked hopeful. I wished I could take her picture. It had been so long since I had seen that look on her face.
On top of the baby supplies, we had filled up the car with food and water. It was an incredibly successful run and I was excited to get back and show Philip what we had found.
I pulled the car up to the school gate and waited for it to open. Amy had fallen asleep on the way back and was just starting to wake up when I put the car into park.
The gate wasn't opening.
"Are we home?" Amy asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
"Seth must be on a bathroom break," I said, opening the car door. I walked over to the gate and pulled on it a bit. It moved. It was unlocked.
I continued to pull the gate until it was fully open. Amy got out of the car and stood beside me. We both stared at the scene before us.
Once again there were trucks scattered throughout the parking lot. I looked around and noticed there wasn't a single soul outside.
"They're here," Amy whispered, turning her attention on the school. "We can't catch a break."
"Go back to the car and pull it in. Take the boxes and hide them inside that new car." I instructed her and she turned to me.
"No!" she hissed. "I'm not leaving you alone."
"Amy, listen to me. They'll take the baby supplies. You have to hide them until they leave," I begged her, knowing they could come outside any second.
Amy let out a frustrated groan and then nodded. "Okay. Just be careful." She looked terrified and I knew she would be better off if she didn't come with me.
I watched her get into the car and pull it inside the wall and then I turned my attention on the school.I walked through the front doors and was surprised when I didn't see any of Negan's men patrolling the halls. There weren't any Doveporters around either.
I made my way slowly, wondering if I should take out of my knife. I had just started to reach for it when I heard Philip's voice.
"Don't do this!" he pleaded.
It was coming from the gym.
I sprinted down the hallway and turned the corner. The gym doors were wide open and I approached them quickly to look inside.
All of Negan's men were standing on the sides of the gym. The Doveporters were there as well, all huddled together. They all seemed to be focused on the scene taking place in the middle of the gym. Danny was nowhere to be seen.
Seth was holding a gun to a Savior's head. He had taken the man hostage and was threatening his life. Standing about 30 feet away from him was Philip, who was trying to reason with him. And behind Philip, aiming a gun at Seth's head was Negan.
All of Negan's men were aiming their guns at Seth, who was shouting. "I just want Negan!" he barked, gripping the terrified Savior in his arms. "No one else has to die!" I could see the gun shaking in his hand.
"You're fucked either way, you dumb fucking fuck!" Negan roared.
"You don't have to follow him anymore!" Seth cried, addressing the Saviors. "You don't have to be afraid anymore!"
"Go right ahead and pull that fucking trigger! Whether you kill him or not, I'm going to beat your stupid fucking face to a pulp!" Negan was furious as he shouted at Seth. I noticed he hadn't shot him yet, then realized it was only a matter of time before that changed. I stepped into the gym and made my way over to Philip, who was begging everyone to calm down.
"Seth?" I tried to calm my voice as I addressed him. He turned his attention from the Saviors and looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Elle!" He seemed shocked to see me. I nodded at him and approached him slowly.
"Let him go, Seth," I urged. "You don't have to do this."
Seth frowned at me and tightened his grip on the Savior.
"No, Elle. We don't have to do this. I'm sick of watching you guys break your backs just to please this son of a bitch." He glared at Negan who was unusually quiet. "He's a bully and we don't have to keep working for him."
"We can make it work," I insisted, moving closer to him. He tensed up and I froze in my place. "Seth–"
"Don't try to talk me out of this, Elle. We have to kill him right here and right now." He turned his attention back on the Saviors. "Give me Negan!" he begged them.
"Look at me!" I cried. "This isn't you, Seth. We don't have to resort to hurting people." I gestured at him holding the Savior. "We are better than that. You are better than this."
Seth turned and looked at me. He had tears streaming down his face and was trembling.
"Put the gun down, son," Philip urged.
Seth looked down at the ground and I watched his grip loosen on the Savior. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and I took another step forward.
"It's okay. Give me the gun," I said softly, reaching out.
Seth looked at my hand and nodded.
He was moving to hand me the gun when a gunshot rang out and echoed throughout the whole gym.
I watched in horror as a bullet ripped into Seth's face and he fell forward. The hostage-Savior was scrambling away from Seth. My eyes went wide. Seth had been shot. He fell towards me and landed right at my feet. I felt frozen as I stared down at him. Blood pooled around his head and he didn't move.
Vivienne screamed and the other Doveporters started to wail. Their cries filled the gym, and I found I couldn't move from where I stood staring down at Seth's body.
The shot had come from behind me.
Negan had shot him.
Negan killed Seth.
Philip was on the ground trying to get a response from Seth, but I knew he was gone. As the others sobbed, I found I couldn't even move.
"Well shit, that was fun," Negan's voice rang out from behind me. "One helluva headshot! Makes for some easy cleanup. The fucker isn't even going to come back." I heard him walking around the gym.
"Now, as much as I fucking love a good hostage situation, I think it goes without saying this cannot happen again. You motherfuckers had better clean up your act before I show you how big of a bully I really fucking am." His words were like ice and the members of my community continued to cry.
I heard him walk over to where I was standing.
"Hello, Elle!" he gushed. "Your kids got into some trouble while you were out. Speaking of which, where is my shit?"
He put an arm around my shoulder. I didn't respond. I couldn't find my voice–I still couldn't move.
"You need to fucking speak when spoken to," he growled right into my ear, and finally I winced which made him let go of me. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would pop out of my chest. I turned to look up at him and felt my eyes start to water.
"Don't you fucking look at me like that! I just did you a favor! Your little gate guard lost his motherfuckin' marbles!" he barked. "I told you if you don't follow my rules, you'll be punished. And one of my fucking rules is you don't threaten me and my men."
A few tears fell down my face as I nodded at him. I felt completely helpless. I didn't know what to say or do anymore. I was so afraid someone else was going to get hurt.
Negan watched me, as if he was confused, and then he let out a deep sigh. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I flinched.
"Don't worry. Even after this, I know you'll do good by me." His words were selfish but he said them as if they should comfort me. "You just need to get your people in line."
I nodded again and again. I just wanted him to leave. There was no fixing this. Seth was gone and I couldn't change what had happened. The sooner Negan left, the less likely anyone else would die.
I turned to look back at Seth's body. Phil was still kneeling down by it with his head hung low. Negan walked in front of me, blocking my view of Seth.
"Where's my stuff, Elle?" he asked gently.
"Outside in the car," I whispered, finally finding my voice.
Negan pulled me into him and kissed my forehead softly.
"Good girl," he purred.
Negan turned from me and ordered for his men to leave. They filed out of the gym and, in a matter of seconds, all that remained was Doveport and our deceased friend. I continued to look down at Seth's body and suddenly my legs gave out beneath me.
I fell down on my knees.
I had never felt so numb.