"Gin… Not everything is Laputa…" Shinpachi sighed.

"Shut up, Pattsuan! Don't go destroying a young boy's dreams!" Gintoki chastised the redhead.

"I'm pretty sure those are your dreams. And you're definitely no young boy…" Shinpachi deadpanned. "And we should be concentrating on the important facts, LIKE THE BIG SPACESHIP IN THE SKY!" He hysterically shouted.

"Didn't Zura say they chose this moment because there wouldn't be any interferences?" The samurai frowned.

"I don't know about you guys, but that sure as hell looks like a space pirate ship to me…" Kamui muttered as he tightened his grip on Sadaharu's fur. He didn't want to think about the implications, but if his sister was somehow involved in this… Edo was sure to go up in flames.

A vermillion-haired woman took a deep breath, noting the change of smell in the air. She was all too familiar with the stench of fuel slowly filling the atmosphere.

"Those fucking bastards… What the hell are they doing here?" Kagura grimaced as she recognized the shape of the spacecraft above her. It looked an awful lot like the Eighth Division Main Ship.

She turned on her heel and sped through the alley system. She had to contact the rest of the Joishishi.

It wasn't as if she actually cared about them, it was more like she felt a certain responsibility towards them. They didn't ask questions and even looked up to her, giving her the title of 'Leader'. She'd definitely be a horrid 'Leader' if she abandoned them here and now. She still had that bit of pride in her. And if the Harusame was moving in even though she still had an ongoing assignment here, there was only one explanation.

They were planning to betray her.

As she took the next right, towards the emergency communicator, she came to a sudden halt when a familiar figure stood before her.

"You…" She glowered at him.

Abuto clenched his fist. Of course, why hadn't he realized it sooner? The seventh division members were considered monsters among monsters, and his captain's latest deeds weren't really helping. They were cleaning up after themselves, and that included getting rid of the members they deemed too strong.

In other words, he couldn't help but smile a bit at the thought, the Harusame was afraid of them. More specifically, of a female Yato named Kagura.

He stood up from his position on the rooftop and threw the chaos going on under him one last glance, noticing the absence of the sandy-haired police officer he was initially following. He dismissed it without a second thought and grabbed the purple parasol next to him in addition to his own one.

It was time he met up with that idiotic captain of his, even if just going without her would probably benefit his mental health.

"Do you guys see Zura anywhere?" Gintoki stood on his scooter, letting his gaze roam the area. "Cause I only see old men."

"You should be a bit more considerate, they also have feelings, y'know?" Kamui gave his muffled reply as he shoved another mouthful of rice into his mouth.

The silver-haired samurai glanced at the nearly empty rice bowl in his co-worker's arms and then at the surrounding area. " Kamui, where did you get that rice from?"

The redhead pointed over to a street vendor while munching away.

"… Do they have parfaits as well?" Gintoki asked seriously.

"I can't believe the two of you are thinking about food at a time of crisis like this!" Shinpachi growled as he approached the other two Yorozuya.

"Food is essential to a human's – and amanto's – existence and therefore there is no inappropriate time to think about parfaits!" The samurai announced akin to world-changing speech. It didn't help that Kamui was nodding in approval, somehow holding a new bowl of rice in his hands, practically inhaling its contents.

"Why am I the only sane person in this story?!" The black-haired teen wailed.

"So anyway, apparently the whole thing is distraction. The real objective is to storm the Shogun's castle and assassinate him while the police is stuck dealing with the massive overflow of priests." The glasses stand calmly reported after his short nervous breakdown.

"A distraction, huh?" Gintoki wondered out loud as he scraped his spoon along the bottom of his parfait glass. "Sounds a bit too smart to be Zura's plan. Somebody else is definitely behind this."

"Isn't it the Kiheitai? I mean, he did mention Takasugi when he came to visit us…"

"Neither of them would use this kind of approach." The silver-haired man frowned. "And didn't he mention his newest, brilliant recruit?" He pointed out.

"True…" The Yato of the group agreed. "But he didn't say anything else about this person."

"So we're back to the beginning, huh?" Gintoki sighed disdainfully.

"That wasn't even our objective, Gin." Shinpachi deadpanned.

"It wasn't?"

"It wasn't?" The two others asked in surprise with wide eyes.

"I definitely don't get enough money for putting up with you two…"

"I guess you've finally realized it." Takasugi noted offhandedly while passing something to her. Kagura eyed the small plastic bottle in her hand before raising an eyebrow at him.

"Exactly how is Yakulk going to help us in this situation?"

"It's not, but I'll give it to you. Don't worry, it's on me." After saying that, he pulled out a second small bottle out of his kimono and drank it in one go.

The vermillion-haired girl sighed and also downed the drink. Even she couldn't deny that it was good, even if the timing was kind of inappropriate.

"So, what are you planning to do against them?" The black-haired man asked her.

"It looks like it's only the Eighth Division, so there shouldn't be any problems. Hell, Abuto and I could probably take care of them ourselves." She explained. "But even though the admiral is an asshole, he's not stupid enough to just send one division after us. That means we have to assume there's back-up somewhere."

"I see. Then we shall simply destroy them all." Takasugi stated with a glint in his eye.

"That's a sound plan." Kagura grinned. "I call dibs on the back-up."

"Then I will lead the Kiheitai to the ship."

"You sure you can handle it?" The female Yato teased. "It is an entire spaceship after all…"

"You'll just have to trust me." He smirked at her.

He wiped the blood off his sword as he stepped over the dying man in his way.

"Damn rebels." He muttered under his breath. After eying the unconscious guards lying around, he added, "Useless idiots."

He knew he probably should have waited for back-up, but once he saw the spaceship in the sky he knew trouble was coming and it was coming fast. He liked pain, but he only like being on the giving side, not the receiving one.

Okita cautiously looked around the corner, finding the hallway empty to much of his relief. He gently crept down the corridor, alert to any Joi rebels ambushing him. But none came. He couldn't help but be suspicious about the eerie silence and the lack of personnel. This was the shogun's castle, for the god of sadism's sake!

He slowly made his way up another flight of stairs. Any moment now, he should encounter at least one of them. Any moment now… Any moment…

He let out a deep sigh. This was no fun. He didn't even get to have a proper fight and now all the enemies are gone. He wondered if he made really loud noises, would they come running?

He shook his head and decided he shouldn't piss off Kondo-san too much today, considering that he was probably already rejected by the Shimura girl today.

He halted in front of one of the sliding doors. It was the princess' room. The few times he had been on guard duty here, he usually got along with her pretty well, since she was a part of the sadist club. He briefly remembered her telling him about this other friend of hers he "totally had to meet". Pushing the irrelevant thought aside, he pressed his ear to the door to hear whether anybody was inside. He was pretty sure the shogun his relatives were already somewhere else, but maybe some of the assailants were still loitering around. When he heard nothing, he quietly opened the door and was met with total darkness.

Taking a careful step forward, he immediately jerked his foot back just as a penetrating 'snap' echoed through the castle.

Eying the shiny thing on the ground that could only be a bear trap, Okita sighed. If the enemy didn't already know he was here, they definitely did now.

Oh well, he could at least tell Hijikata that he tried.

"Retreat."

"What?"

"I said retreat! You can't take them on."

"Leader, you underestimate us. I, Katsura, shall show you what the Joishishi is really capable of!"

"…"

"Leader?"

"Don't shout out loud during a covert mission, moron."

Kagura flexed her fingers, hearing the cracking sound. It's been a while since she's given somebody a good punch. And right now she felt like giving that long-haired idiot named Kotarou Katsura a good punch to the face. A part of her wondered whether she would still get a chance to if he really did engage the Harusame and not survive. But then again, idiots don't die that easily.

But she was urging even more to put those even bigger idiots who dare oppose her in their places. Just as she cracked her knuckles once more the handle of a purple umbrella was held out to her. She let the corner of her mouth twitch up slightly as she took the familiar weapon back from her second-in-command.

"You sure took your time. I nearly thought you were planning to go without me." She noted sweetly.

"As if I would, captain." Abuto replied calmly, trying as hard as he could not to let her realize that he had actually considered doing just that.

"Well then, no time to lose." She gave him a smile. Actually, it was more of a death threat, but any outsider would have seen it as a smile. "Let's go before the fun runs away!"

"I take it you already know where they are?" The blonde Yato asked his enthusiastic captain.

"Mhm." She gracefully leapt up to the roof, landing gently and jumping right to the next one. "I know exactly where they are."

"I thought we were going to go look for Katsura!" Shinpachi shouted.

"What?!" His silver-haired co-worker shouted back.

"I said, I thought we were looking for Katsura!" He repeated.

"Seriously, Pattsuan, you need to speak up!" Gintoki shouted again.

"ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF?!" The black-haired boy screeched hysterically.

"WHAT?!" The samurai shouted once more.

"KATSURA!"

"WHERE?!"

"EXACTLY!"

"WHAT?!"

Kamui sighed as he watched the pathetic exchange between the other two members of the Yorozuya. Talk about childish. He thanked the lady from the store for the free lollipop she gave him and walked over to his two partners, reached over to the control panel of the scooter and switched off the loud static noise that was hindering their communication.

"Ah, thanks, Kamui." He thanked the vermillion-haired Yato.

"No prob, Gin." Said Yato replied while sticking the candy in his mouth. "Are we going there now?"

"Yes. The heroes always come at the last minute, don't they?" Gintoki said while striking a pose.

"If you were trying to sound cool, you failed." Shinpachi mumbled.

"I doubt they'll see us as heroes, though…" Kamui noted while climbing on Sadaharu's back. "I mean, we are going there just to laugh at them for messing up their jobs."

"I still don't get why we're going there of all places. Shouldn't we be rushing to the shogun's castle right now? Katsura's bound to be there." Shinpachi asked worriedly as he got on the back of the scooter.

"I have the feeling we'll find what we're looking for at that place." He silver-haired man stated dramatically. He was definitely reading too much JUMP.

Okita opened the next door. Still nothing.

Where was everybody? He had almost already covered the entire building, and still nothing. Not one bit of Joishishi anywhere. The only trace of them ever being here was the one guy he had cut down on the way here.

This was a bit too fishy.

Since there wasn't anybody around anyway, he relaxed his shoulders and fished out his radio from his pocket. "Kondo?"

"Ah, Sougo! Good timing!" His superior's voice rang through.

"It is? Too bad I don't have good news to go with that." The first squad captain drawled.

"If it's about the shogun, don't worry. He's not even in the country right now."

Okita blinked once. Then twice. "What?"

"Sorry about that, I kinda forgot to mention that just now."

He sighed. That's Kondo for you. "What do you need me to do?"

"Go back to the compound as fast as you can. Apparently they're having some trouble with the fake priests."

"I thought they were actual priests." The sandy haired man recalled as he made his way to the nearest balcony.

"Yeah, but until we know which ones aren't, we can't let them go. Go help the others, will ya?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Okita stuck his head out over the edge of the balcony and estimated the height he was at. It was definitely too high for a normal human to survive.

He stuffed the radio back in his pocket and pushed himself up on the ledge before letting gravity take over.

Good thing this was only a story and he was vital to the plot.

"The Shinsengumi compound?" Abuto asked in surprise.

"Yes."

"But why there? What would they possibly gain from being captured by the enem- oh." Abuto stopped mid-sentence as realization dawned on him.

"Exactly." His captain confirmed. "They killed more than just two bears with this stone."

"I believe it's 'birds'…" The male Yato pointed out.

"That's beside the point." Kagura chided him. "The point is that we have an unknown number of enemies on an unknown terrain."

Abuto nearly stopped running right then and there. Had… Had Kagura… Had his captain finally developed sensibility?

She threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder. "Isn't that just wonderful?" The glee was burning in her bright, blue eyes.

He takes back everything.

"This really isn't the time to laugh at their failures. They're just doing their jobs, you know?" The glasses asked the other two.

"Yeah, doing their jobs of stealing our taxes."

"Which I highly doubt you pay anyway." Shinpachi muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

He took the shortcut through the woods. Maybe, if there'd be a priest who misbehaved, he can cut him down, right? Right?

Okita grunted at his inner voice. He really wanted to kill somebody. No, needed to.

He was surprised at his own speed, but it made him completely neglect his surroundings. He only heard the leaves rustling in the wind.

He felt a tap at the top of his head, but when he looked up, there was nothing there.

"Are you still wearing that outfit?" Abuto eyed the priest gown his captain was still donning.

"Yeah, why?" She gave him a confused glance.

"Isn't it a bit too conspicuous?" He tried reasoning with her, even if the main reason was how easily he would lose her in the crowds.

"No." She replied swiftly, jumping over a boulder as they entered a small forest. She lead the way by heading through the crowns of the trees, travelling as unnoticeable as possible, akin to a shinobi. The path below her was pretty dark, so she didn't want to risk accidently running into somebody with a flashlight. "Isn't it easier for me to blend in with them like this?" She added.

The blonde man sighed. "I guess." He admitted reluctantly.

She flashed him a victorious, smug smile before suddenly missing her step and falling down from the top of the trees.

He nearly called out her name, but stopped himself as she bounced right back up into the leaves. Typical Kagura.

Meanwhile, the Harusame captain glanced towards the ground. Was her height perception really that off? She could have sworn she touched the ground faster than she should have… If only she could see something in this darkness…

How did they always, always, always end up in situations like these? He would never know. Shinpachi set his fingers on the hilt of his katana, ready to draw it at any second. Naturally, the moment they had arrived at the Shinsengumi gates, total chaos broke out as one of the priests recklessly attacked one of the officers.

And naturally, about three quarters of the remaining priests and monks joined in without hesitation, pulling all sorts of weaponry out of their robes.

And even more naturally, Gintoki pulled out his wooden sword without hesitation, crying out "This is Edo!" before storming right into the fray.

Kamui just set aside his chopsticks and rice bowl before running after him. "Let's go, Shinpachi!" He exclaimed before suddenly halting. "You know, just cause' your name ends with 'pachi' you're no Kenpachi, right?"

"Of course I know that!" The glasses stand shouted furiously. He seriously needed to take those JUMP away from the two of them…

Just as Kamui was about to join in the fight, he halted again. "Madao!" He shouted out while happily approaching a tearing-up brunet man wearing pair of sunglasses.

"Oh, you're here too?" Said pair of sunglasses sweatdropped at the sight of his least favourite redhead.

"Yep, we're helping out Katsura." The Yato explained.

"Really? I just got a job helping out these priests." Hazegawa chuckled lightly, while thinking 'If these guys were around, things are bound to go south…'

"…"

"At least you're really Kenpachi." Kamui suddenly said, completely context-unrelated.

"I don't think that that's what's important here…" Shinpachi facepalmed.

"Anyway, time to join the fun, let's go, Shinpachi, Kenpachi." Kamui ordered them.

As they followed him, Hazegawa pondered out loud. "I think I rather like Kenpachi…"

Kamui grit his teeth together in annoyance. He made a mental note to never doubt his gut feeling again, as well as tear off both of the Chihuahua's hands once he's pried them off his sister.

AN: One Yakulk for you, one for you, one for you and lots of them for me :)

[Edit 31.05.17: Still busy removing honorifics, don't mind me]

~Emi