Memories Lost

Chapter Three

'Her new reality'

Upon hearing the hospital porter enter the room, Harvey and Donna broke apart from their embrace. Donna wiped the tears from her eyes while still clutching the photo. It was all so much to take in ...

"Mrs. Specter!?" ... She looked at Harvey in bemusement.

"I changed my name?!," Donna had always thought herself to be an independent and modern woman and never expected that she would use her husband's surname, if she ever got married.

Harvey put his hands in the air in surrender.

"Hey!... it was totally your idea. You didn't at first ... then when Lily was born ... you said you wanted us to all have the same surname ... said you felt closer as a family unit that way."

Funny ... Donna thought ... Lily must have really changed her views on life. She smiled to herself at the name Lily, she knew it meant Harvey had made amends with his mother. But suddenly she felt a pang of guilt that the little girl had run in to see her earlier and she didn't have a clue who she was.

Harvey noticed Donna's saddened expression.

"You know Donna ... everything will be fine ... we'll get through this ... together".

Donna looked up and smiled shyly at Harvey ... still adjusting to their changed status ... she didn't know how to be around him now ... two kids together ... wow! Harvey, a father, go figure, she couldn't imagine it! In her mind it felt like only yesterday, that she was working for Louis, and Harvey was still mad at her about that. Now ... she didn't know what to think ... or to feel ... how was she going to adapt ... would she ever remember ... how would things be between them now ... she felt lost ...

Donna was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts when the hospital porter approached her with a wheelchair; this was all too much, she had always been so healthy and independent, would she ever be the same Donna as before ... but that Donna, the one she remembered was gone, by all accounts ... who was she now ... a wife? ... a mother? ... would she know how to be either ...

Donna then realized the friendly nurse Jean had returned to her room.

"So Donna, the medical team think that we should try get you up out of bed, remove the catheter ... it is standard procedure to get patients out of bed as soon as possible now. It helps prevent blood clots and muscle wastage."

Donna looked at Harvey nervously "OK ... think I can manage that".

"You sure ...?." Harvey wanted her to have the option to opt out ... she had enough to contend with he feared!

Donna nodded "It's OK Harvey, I'll try".

"OK then, if you're sure?" Harvey got up from the bed to allow the medical staff to get to work.

Jean started to pull the curtains around the hospital bed so Donna could have some privacy.

Harvey suddenly felt awkward standing there ... the whole situation was surreal for him too ... suddenly his status had gone from that of a lover and husband ... back to what... a friend, a colleague even ... maybe it was ironic payback he thought, for all the years he kept her waiting to admit his true feelings ...

He decided that Donna deserved her space, he realized she may need time to come to terms with her new reality in privacy.

"I'll just be right outside, give you a chance to get sorted, I've a few phone calls to make, your parents, Louis; they are all waiting anxiously for news!"

Donna nodded nervously to Harvey "OK ... sure thing. Thanks Harvey."

Donna knew she loved Harvey, but hated to admit she was slightly relieved that she would have some time to think ... alone ... to adjust ... was it even possible to adapt to this reality if she couldn't retrieve those precious memories!

Harvey stepped out of the way, letting the medical staff do their work.

"I'll be right outside, making those calls", he affirmed as he exited the room with his phone in his hand.

...

After the medical team had removed the catheter and other medical devices, Nurse Jean helped Donna to sit up in the bed and then assisted her, along with the porter, to sit into the wheelchair. Donna felt stiff all over and extremely weak. Jean had helped her to put one foot in front of the other. Donna felt tired already, every move took such effort ... would she ever be the same energetic Donna as before, she wondered!

Noting the pressure that Donna was under, Jean tried to reassure her, "Don't worry ... it's totally normal after a head trauma to have difficulty with movement. It will get easier ... you are doing extremely well and so quickly too... with some physio you will be running around in no time."

Once in the wheelchair, Donna felt the need to use the washroom. She felt embarrassed at having to ask ... she suddenly realized what people say is true ... that dignity goes out the window when you are a patient in hospital. She had taken her health for granted before now.

"I'd like to use the restroom" Donna admitted, feeling as if she was a toddler all over again.

"Sure thing," Jean replied as she turned Donna's wheelchair around and brought her over to a door in the corner of the room next to the window.

Donna could see through the curtains that it was getting dark outside. She suddenly wondered where her ... where her children were. She suspected that Mike and Rachel must be looking after them. They had always been such wonderful friends.

Jean showed Donna that the restroom was wheelchair accessible and had handrails in all the necessary places.

Once there, Jean told Donna she would wait for her outside if she wanted privacy. Donna nodded "I'd appreciate that, thanks Jean."

After using the restroom facilities, Donna went to wash her hands; there she saw herself for the first time since she had woken up.

The image looking back at Donna shocked her and she gasped putting her hand to her mouth ... she barely recognized herself ... she had bruising ... lots of bruising and a bandage at the side of her head. She noted how her hair was a much lighter color than before, almost a strawberry blonde. Donna noted how the bruising was a yellow/green color ... as if it had faded somewhat ... she could only imagine how horrific it must have looked when she first came to hospital over two weeks ago. Donna felt there was more to her injuries than she had been told. Surely a random fall wouldn't cause this... On the up side...she noted that her skin, although extremely pale was smooth, almost wrinkle free ... mmmh... she thought to herself ... Donna girl ... you've been dabbling in Botox ... she shook her head ... at least 42 she thought looked as youthful as 37 had been!

Suddenly, Donna was curious about something else too ... she raised her gown and placed her hand to her stomach ... she sighed noting that her stomach was not as firm as she had remembered and she spotted that there were three or four faint little lines ... were they stretchmarks?... she pressed her hand to them ... amazed ! ... this was physical evidence she thought ... that she had been pregnant; she had dreamed of having children one day ... remembered losing hope of it ever happening and now the irony, that it had indeed happened, with Harvey Specter of all people, and she couldn't even remember the experience; that fact saddened her more than she could have ever imagined!

Suddenly Donna was pulled from her thoughts once again, "Are you alright in there Donna?" the nurse asked concerned from behind the restroom door.

"Sorry Jean, yes, I'm ready." Donna quickly pulled her gown down.

Jean entered, immediately helping Donna back into the wheelchair.

"Right ... down to the Imaging Department for this MRI scan".

Donna was extremely nervous ... what would the scan show? ... would the damage to her memory be permanent? What then ...?

Once outside her hospital room, Donna saw Harvey patiently waiting in one of the seats, he was looking at his phone, wow!, phones had really gotten slimmer in 5 years she thought to herself.

"Hey there", "just heading down for this scan now", Donna spoke to Harvey, who had sprung to attention, up out of his seat upon hearing Donna.

"So I called your parents, they are coming down tomorrow, they were so relieved Donna! ... and Louis and Jessica too!, they've been great, holding the fort at the office for us and all. Jessica flew from Chicago especially ...they send their love ...

Donna smiled, it was a relief to hear about family and friends ... that they were alive and well ... she couldn't handle any more shocks ...

Then Jean interrupted "Harvey you may want to keep Donna's ring safely for her again ", unfortunately she won't be able to wear that beautiful piece of jewellery in the scanning machine."

"No problem, I've kept it safe for two weeks already", he smiled.

Harvey placed his hand on Donna's hand and slowly took the wedding band off. He looked into her eyes as he did so ... suddenly Donna was nervous ... the way his touch had affected her ... she looked away confused ...

"I'll make sure I keep it safe", he promised, putting the ring into his pocket once again.

"Thanks. See you when I get back Harvey."

Harvey then placed his hands on Donna's head and placed a kiss on top.

Jean cut in, suddenly aware of keeping their appointment with the busy Imaging Department, "Sorry folks, we really will have to get going, the appointment is in 5 minutes. Just going to get the scans completed, won't take long, don't worry, she'll be back before you know it!"

"You'll be fine Donna, I'll be here waiting", Harvey reassured her.

And with that she was being pushed down the corridor by the hospital porter, with Nurse Jean following along beside them.

As they proceeded down the corridor, Donna looked back around at Harvey.

He smiled at her broadly, that smile she had always loved, and mouthed 'you'll be fine'.

Donna smiled in return and mouthed a 'thank you'.

With that, Harvey decided to go into Donna's hospital room, and anxiously await her return. He desperately hoped the latest MRI results would bring good news.

...

It was dark when Rachel and Mike pulled up their car outside Harvey and Donna's townhouse , a beautiful brownstone house they had bought after Lily was born. Mike and Rachel had been staying there along with Harvey's mom and June, the family's nanny. Harvey needed all the support he could get right now.

Rachel looked from her seat on the passenger side into the rear of the car ... In her car seat, Lily lay sleeping, clutching her teddy bear in a full hug. Rachel's heart sank.

"Mike" ... she sighed ... they were both exhausted, both physically and mentally from the past two weeks "What if, ... Donna ... what if she doesn't remember?"

Mike clutched his wife's hand in an attempt to comfort her "She will!"

"And if she doesn't?" Rachel wasn't so sure, "you weren't in that room Mike ... she barely recognized me today ... and absolutely no recognition of Lily" Rachel's voice broke.

"Then..." Mike spoke slowly, contemplating... "We'll help them deal with that too." "If it wasn't for Harvey, we wouldn't even have met, I owe him so much Rachel... so much" I just can't help thinking though maybe they would have been better off without meeting me ... then ... then Donna would never have been put in this situation ... Mike's voice broke ...he had tears in his eyes.

Now Rachel was the one to comfort her husband "You...you.. Have to stop beating yourself up about this ... both you and Harvey, Mike ... this was Gallo's doing ... not yours."

"Come on, its getting cold we better get Lily inside, Harvey's mom will be wondering where we have got to Mike".

...

Upon entering Harvey and Donna's beautiful townhouse, they noted through the french doors that the light was still on in the rear kitchen ... "Lily must be still up, I'll go chat to her for a bit, update her on the situation.

"OK" nodded Rachel " "I'll get this little one to bed,", Rachel said quietly, as she climbed the stairs with a sleeping Lilly junior.

"Thanks Rach," Mike added, as he headed to the kitchen to update Harvey's Mom.

...

Upon entering the kitchen, Mike spotted Lily sleeping in an armchair in the corner of the kitchen, the baby monitor beside her on a beautiful ornate kitchen dresser. She had been a wonderful support to everyone, it still amazed him how Harvey has reconciled with her after so many years. Now she was a central part of the family.

Suddenly Lily stirred after Mike had tried to gently close the kitchen doors. Lily was used to being alert for the sound of the baby. She had taken over from June, the nanny, who was on her night off.

"Hey it's only me, it's Mike", he didn't want to alarm her.

"Mike ... You're back ... everything OK?," Lily inquired anxiously.

Mike thought , where would he begin ... how would he begin to explain...

"Lily ... I have some great news, Donna's awake! " Mike figured from his life experience to date, always start with the positive news first!

...

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, following etc. I really appreciate it!

Going to start typing up chapter 4 tomorrow, Love always, Mary xxx