We buried Seth behind the school in a marked grave. A few people hosted a funeral for him, and a man named Ryan offered to take over gate duty. We had no other choice but to move on and keep going, but this changed everything. We finally had a real reason to fear Negan.
After the initial shock of seeing Seth murdered in front of me, I realized how important it was to keep Negan and his men happy, regardless of how badly he scared us. We spent the next week gathering as many supplies as we could get our hands on from the traffic jam. Fortunately for us, the collection of cars were somehow still undiscovered by anyone else, and we continued to empty each one and bring the items to Doveport. It wasn't long before we had a good stock built up.
A week later, Negan was back, and I had more than enough stuff to give him to make him happy, this week and next. But I didn't dare get cocky. We had lined the boxes up by the front gate before his arrival and when he stepped out of his truck, he looked amused.
"Damn Elle! You really shouldn't have!" He put his hand over his heart in mock surprise while studying the multiple boxes stacked by the wall. "You are spoiling the fucking shit outta my men, you know that?" He turned and approached me where I was standing off to the side in the parking lot.
"Just trying to make this easy for everyone," I answered, looking over to his men that had started heading over to the boxes. I didn't want to look at him.
Negan studied me intently and I wanted to gulp. I knew what he was capable of, and now that he was standing mere feet away from me I was finding it difficult to breathe. It was like someone had sucked all the air out of the yard, and I was getting a limited supply through a straw.
Just as one of his men was bending over to pick up one of the boxes, Negan held his hand up and the man stopped in his place.
"Hold off on that," Negan ordered, still gazing down at me. "Make yourselves comfortable, boys. I'm gonna go talk to Elle here."
My eyes widened and he noticed. He let out a loud laugh and placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
"Aw, come on doll! Don't be shy!" He turned my body to face the front doors of the school and I tried my best to take a deep breath and compose myself. I started walking and Negan followed behind me closely, lugging that damned barbed wire baseball bat along with him.
I looked over to where Philip was standing by the garden with Vivienne as I walked. Amy and Eric were out on a run. When Negan hadn't shown up during the week, I figured he was actually going to be on time for once. I had sent them out earlier in the day and told them not to come back until the evening, thinking Negan would show up before then. Now the sun was starting to go down and I knew they would be coming home at any time. I really hoped I could get Negan out of our hair before that.
Danny was still hiding in the school and I hoped like hell he would figure out what was happening. I had been so busy gathering supplies that I hadn't been able to talk to him more, but Vivienne told me he seemed content on living with us. I could hear the sound of Negan's men following towards the building and felt my heart thud loudly in my chest. If Danny was discovered, we were dead in the water.
I reached the doors and opened them wide, holding them so that Negan and his men could enter. Negan stopped in front of the door and his men lingered behind him, waiting for his command. He was grinning from ear to ear.
"Ladies first," he said, gesturing inside with the bat. I walked inside, not wanting to argue with him on it. One of his men came over and held the door for Negan and the rest.
I lead him through the halls and towards Philip's office—an office that I was now going to have to pretend was mine. Danny usually stayed in the locker room area, and Phil's office was on the opposite end of the school. As we reached the door, Negan's men continued down the hall and began splitting off in different directions, looking around as they went. I didn't have the time to handle it, and just hoped to hell Danny would stay hidden. I was watching his men veer off when Negan cleared his throat behind me.
"I don't have all goddamn day, doll." His voice was less commanding than it normally was. I turned the knob and opened the office door.
I had been in this room more times than I could count, but right then it felt like I was entering a cage. I rounded the desk and slowly sat down in the large office chair. I didn't know what to say or how to look at him, so I gazed down at the desk in silence waiting for him to talk.
Negan didn't sit; instead he slowly made his way around the room, looking at the different plaques on the wall that the previous principal had decorated the room with. He had shut the door and now it was just the two of us.
"I've got an offer for you," Negan stated, and I looked up at him as he was studying a picture on the wall. "And it is a really fucking good one."
I didn't know what to say, so I just kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to continue.
"I run a place called the Sanctuary." He turned to meet my eyes and made his way over to the chair across from me on the other side of the desk. He sat down and leaned back, setting the bat to his side, and watching me as if he was waiting for my reaction.
"Okay?" I replied, not sure where this was going.
"I'm gonna cut through the shit and just get right to it. I want you to come back with me." He said it so plainly, as if he was offering me something simple. I just stared at him trying to process what he had just asked me. When it really soaked in, I frowned at him.
"No."
"Shit, you didn't even fucking think about it." He leaned further back in the chair and kept those dark eyes on me. "Why the fuck not?"
I stared wide-eyed at him. This had to be a joke.
"You killed Seth!" I almost yelled it at him.
"Holy fuck! You're still on about that?!" His voice boomed and I winced at the loud sound, but I felt angry at how he was acting so nonchalant about it.
"He was my friend!" I shot back. I hadn't slept well all week. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Seth's face and the bullet that had ripped into his flesh.
"Your friend was a fucking psychopath!" Negan yelled, leaning forward in his seat towards me. "I did you a favor by offing that son-of-a-bitch!"
"You're the psychopath!" I shouted. "He was going to hand me the gun and you murdered him!"
Negan stood up and I sunk back into my seat. He towered over me even from the other side of the desk. Once again I had pushed him too far. He had picked up his beloved bat again and gripped it tightly as he glowered at me, breathing heavy before he spoke.
"He took my man hostage. He threatened my life. If you want to survive, you don't fucking hesitate."
"No," I shook my head, feeling the adrenaline kick in as I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes. "That's how you do things. And I'm not you."
We remained deadlocked, both of us glaring at one another. I wouldn't budge on this. He could beat my head in and I still wouldn't accept that what happened to Seth was okay. He hadn't been perfect and taking a Savior hostage had been a huge mistake, but he didn't need to die.
I was surprised to see it was Negan who broke the stare-down to look away from me and back to the wall, shaking his head in frustration.
"I have tried to play nice, but you are testing me, Elle. I've done shit for you I haven't even done for my own people." I wondered if he was referring to his middle of the night visit where he brought me the box. I hadn't even thanked him for it.
He turned back to look at me, and his expression had transformed from bitter to grave.
"Come with me. You won't have to run this fucking circus anymore. You let me put one of my people in charge here and come back to the Sanctuary."
"You think your guys can run things better than me?" I asked, crossing my arms. It sounded like he was already trying to replace me as leader of Doveport.
If he only knew this wasn't even mine…
Negan smirked and got a frisky look in his eye.
"I've got a better job for you. Involves you bending that perfect ass over the side of my bed."
I scoffed and turned my head to the side, feeling my cheeks heat up. If this was his idea of flirting, he was horrible at it. He probably thought that because I was blushing I was considering it, but I just didn't expect him to say something so vulgar. The swearing was one thing, but his straight forward proposal and the lingering silence made me realize he was waiting for my response—as if he expected me to agree to it. He was being serious.
"You can go now," I grumbled, not wanting to look at the smug look on his face.
Negan chuckled low.
"It's just an offer, doll. One I don't fucking give to just anyone. Think about it."
Like hell was I going to think about that.
Negan stood up, and as he did he took the barbed wire bat with him. I was still looking off to the side when I saw him gazing at something in my peripheral vision.
I turned my head to see his eyes were locked onto the bottle of whiskey on the desk. He studied it for a few moments, and then turned to exit the office. I wondered why he would be so interested in it, and then I remembered: I had turned down his offer for whiskey. I had told him I didn't like it. And here, on the desk that was supposed to be mine, sat a half empty bottle of the amber liquid.
Shit.
I felt a sense of relief when Negan didn't say anything. He walked out and I sighed, trying to collect myself. I stood up quickly and followed him out into the hallway and heard him ordering his men to get back outside. I followed them out and watched as they started loading up the boxes into their trucks. Danny was nowhere to be seen.
Amy and Eric were just pulling their car into the school's walls and Negan noticed them right away.
"Your friends are home!" he exclaimed, turning to look at me. I watched Amy and Eric get out of the car, their eyes on Negan.
Suddenly all of our attention turned on a Savior that was going through one of the boxes.
"What the fuck is this?" The Savior shouted, looking over at me. I watched as he held up a baby rattle from the box.
I turned and looked at Amy who was already making her way over to the Savior. Negan started striding over too, and I followed close behind.
"I am so sorry!" she sputtered, leaning down to take the box. "I must have accidentally sent this box out with the others."
The Savior was peering at her, and then straightened up as Negan approached. He eyed the rattle and then looked at Amy.
"You got a kid here?" he asked, taking the rattle out of the Savior's hand and shaking it a bit. Amy tensed up and didn't respond. Negan was about to open his mouth when I cut him off.
"Amy's pregnant," I blurted. I was still looking at Negan, but from the corner of my eye I could see her turn her head to scowl at me.
"No shit!" Negan beamed and looked around the yard at the other Doveporters. "Which one of these lucky bastards put a bun in your oven?"
Amy was staring daggers at me before she turned and looked over at Eric, who was helping the Saviors unload boxes from the car. He was watching Amy like a hawk, and then realized everyone was looking at him.
"Get your ass over here!" Negan called to Eric, and he obeyed immediately, making his way to us. He was as stiff as Amy, and looked up at me nervously as he approached.
"Congratu-fuckin-lations!" Negan sang, going around to Eric's side and patting his back.
"Th-thank you." Eric muttered, looking over to Amy. She was still staring at me, clearly feeling betrayed. Eric took a few steps away from Negan and went over to Amy, putting his arm around her protectively.
Negan watched them with an amused expression.
"You should make me the god-parent," he teased, leaning on the baseball bat.
Amy and Eric didn't respond, but their eyes grew wide at the very thought of Negan having anything to do with their child. They were terrified that he was showing a new interest in them and the baby, and it was making them scared.
Negan leaned towards them and Amy gulped.
"That was a joke. Jeez, you people are uptight. You know you can still fuck when the baby is cooking right? Might help with some of this tension." He winked at Amy who looked like she was holding her breath.
Negan continued to grin at them and then addressed his men.
"Leave any baby shit. Momma bear's gonna need it." Then he turned to look at me. "You just made a mistake. This is me playin' nice."
"Thank you. We'll have more stuff next week," I replied quickly.
"Oh, I know you will, doll."
Negan leaned even closer, and put a hand on my arm gently.
"And think about my offer," he whispered.
I felt my cheeks burn again, thinking about his proposal. I know he meant me moving to live at his community, but I couldn't help but think back to his vulgar suggestion. I crossed my arms and averted my eyes, which made him laugh.
With that, Negan ordered his men to leave, and within a minute their trucks were pulling out of the school yard. As they left, Ryan closed the gate behind them, keeping out the threats of the undead. But even that large metal gate couldn't keep me safe from Amy's wrath.
"What the fuck, Elle!?" Amy shouted, storming over to me. Her fists were clenched tightly together and I thought she was going to hit me. She stopped right in front of me and pointed a finger in my face. "You told him I'm pregnant!"
"I'm sorry!" I cried out, putting up my hands. "I didn't want to lie to him anymore." In the heat of the moment, when he was waiting for her answer, I had figured we would be better off if we were just honest with him from now on.
"You're lying about being the leader!" she hissed. "And we're hiding Danny. We're lucky they didn't just find him inside!"
"I know. And you're right. We need to be more careful."
Amy looked disgusted.
"I can't believe you did that to me." She was shaking her head and I looked over to Eric. He was staring at me too, but I couldn't read him.
"He would have found out!" I cried, pointing at her stomach. "You're starting to show!"
Amy looked down at her belly. Her shirt was much tighter than usual around her abdomen, which had started to extend a tiny bit. I don't think she had realized.
"Amy?" I said gently, and she looked up at me. "I am really, really sorry. I wasn't trying to throw you under the bus. I just don't want to lie anymore. And I'm scared. He saw the whiskey in Phil's office."
She scrunched her face at me.
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
I sighed and looked over to where Phil was helping Vivienne in the garden. They both had been working there the entirety of Negan's visit.
"He offered me some when he took me away in his truck two weeks ago. I told him I don't like it."
Amy still looked confused at what I was telling her, and then she closed her eyes realizing what this meant.
"Shit," she whispered, shaking her head. "We are so fucked."
"No," I said, doing my best to sound reassuring. "He didn't say anything about it."
Amy looked at me and she didn't seem angry anymore. That helpless look had returned, and I was the one who put it there. I regretted betraying her trust like this, but it was too late to take it back.
"We are going to be okay," I whispered, trying to comfort her.
"You can't promise that, Elle," she said sadly, as frustrated tears started to form in her eyes.
She was right.