Memories Lost

Chapter 5

'Memories returning'

It was after 1 am when Harvey arrived back at his room in the Four Seasons; although he had kept the room here, as it was so close to Donna's hospital, he had barely stayed there, other than for showering and changing clothes. He preferred to be at Donna's side, just in case ... he didn't want her to be alone ... but she was right ... now that she was awake... he would be of no use to her, if he collapsed from exhaustion. He needed a decent nights sleep in a proper bed.

Opening the door to the luxurious suite, Harvey turned on the light, although it was a beautiful room, one Donna would have loved, she wasn't here to enjoy it with him. Coming back to the hotel room alone reminded him of his lonely bachelor days ... before Donna and the kids had turned his life upside down in the most positive way possible ... Now he was used to coming home to a warm and loving atmosphere ... lots of noise ... chaos ... happy chaos; how he missed it ... how he missed the happy family life they had built together. He hoped that those days would return soon!

He sighed! He was utterly exhausted, spent ... but still felt like he needed a shower badly, hospitals always made him like 'ugh'. Harvey moved towards the washroom, after using the toilet and going to wash his hands he looked at himself in the mirror, Jeeze, he thought, what a mess! He ran his hand along the 3 day old stubble; he was almost sporting a beard at this stage; his face was grey with worry and exhaustion ... poor Donna, how had she even recognized him; he'd fix that, he thought, he found his wash bag, and took out his razor and shave gel and got to work.

After shaving, Harvey felt better already, he wiped the last of the shaving gel from the side of his face with a towel, then removing his clothing he got into the powerful rain shower. Funny how this experience was the only thing that had comforted him over the last two weeks, the only sanctuary he had been able to somewhat relax for 5 minutes. He turned on the faucet and felt the welcome hot water cascade down over his head, shoulders and body; almost washing his problems away, almost ...

After his shower Harvey finished drying himself off, then put on a clean top and pajama bottoms, then moved towards the bed; he set his alarm for 6 am, he didn't want to risk not being there when Donna woke up. He looked to the corner of the room and saw a new suitcase ... his Mom ... he figured! She had been leaving fresh clothes to his hotel room. He didn't know what he would have done without her support and the support of their friends. Mike and Rachel had been helping to look after the kids, ferrying them between the family home, the hospital and playschool. They were trying to make sure that life had continued as normal as possible for them. When he had tried to explain to Lily that her Mom was in hospital, it was difficult for her to understand; she had even thought it meant that they were getting a new baby ... he supposed it made sense, the last time Lily had seen her Mom in hospital, James had just arrived.

What a day he thought as he fell onto the bed putting his arms over his head... what a day! ... at least Donna was awake ... he was so thankful that she had come around and that she was so well, much better than the medical team had predicted.

He had been so hopeful two days ago when they began to remove Donna's sedation, they had been able to stop the bleeding from the injuries to her head through surgery... they started to bring her around gradually ...they had been satisfied from the previous MRI scans that the bleeding to her brain had stopped and the swelling had reduced enough that it was safe to try bring her out of the induced coma. They had warned him of lasting side effects. Telling him they wouldn't know the extent of her injuries until she came around. She had fallen almost 20 feet and hit her head against a metal bar; only for the scaffolding and tarpaulin she had fallen onto she would have died. He knew, by all accounts that she was incredibly lucky to have survived at all. Harvey hoped her memories returned ... but if they didn't, he would help her deal with that too, he was just so happy that she was alive!

The last two weeks had been a nightmare, Harvey wondered what tomorrow would bring ..., he smiled knowing how excited Lily would be to see Donna. He was thankful that 8 month old James was blissfully unaware of the events of the last two weeks. At least he had been spared any trauma.

Harvey thought about how he couldn't bring himself to go to their office building since the attack on Donna. Louis and Jessica had been taking care of business. Jessica's name was now back on the wall for the last year, they now had a Chicago office which Jessica ran. Mike and Rachel had even moved to the Chicago office for a year; they were about to return to New York when this had happened. He was so appreciative of their immediate return. Although he and Donna had their nanny and his mom was also helping out, he needed all the support he could get ... anyway he had missed Mike and Rachel. Jessica had also returned to help Louis out upon hearing of the awful news. Poor Louis, he had been devastated about Donna, Harvey knew they were as close as a brother and sister. Louis and Jessica were planning to come visit tomorrow too. Her parents were arriving from Cortland also. He worried so many visitors would be too much for Donna, but he knew how important family and friends were to her and knew that keeping them away would possibly do more harm than good for her. Perhaps seeing them all would aid her recovery, jog her memory, he could only pray that it would.

He began to think back to that awful night ... wished it had been him and not Donna ... he had done his fair share of 'what if's' over the past few weeks ... what if he had returned to the office that night instead of her ... what if he had gone looking for her sooner... what if ?

It turned out Gallo had been watching them for days ... then seized his opportunity for revenge.

Harvey turned over in bed ... trying to push the thoughts ... the guilt away ... just for a couple of hours.

Eventually the tiredness won out and Harvey slept.

...

Meanwhile back in Donna's hospital room ...

If Harvey had been in Donna's hospital room right now he would have seen her toss and turn ...

Donna was running, she didn't know where, she didn't know why ... all she knew was that she needed to get away from something ... something terrible ... she was terrified! ... It was dark ... so dark, before she knew what was happening she was on a roof top ... trying to find a hiding place ... then ... it was too late ... the terrible thing, had followed her, he was here, he had a knife, it was too late to hide ... she backed away from him ... She pleaded with him, 'Please ... no! I have children!, please ...! he didn't care ... he just laughed menacingly at her ... 'THERE IS NOWHERE TO RUN DONNA! ... He knew her name! he moved closer to her, with the knife ... Donna edged closer and closer to the rails at the side of the building, she looked down terrified over the rails, there was no way out ! ... THIS WAS IT! she thought... this was how it ended for her ... Harvey and her babies came into her mind again ... she wished she could see them .. one last time ... ! Looking down she knew she wouldn't survive ... she was frantic ... but then looking around over her right shoulder she saw some hope, maybe 2 or 3 floors down, she saw a scaffolding platform, it was still too far ... but maybe ... just maybe it was her only chance if it came to it and he pushed her over the edge ... She had never felt so terrified in her whole life and yet so determined to survive. She knew she had to survive ! Suddenly he came at her with the knife, they struggled, she was desperate to live, she kicked him .. desperately she wanted to live ... suddenly the knife dropped, 'YOU B*TCH' he had yelled . A further struggle ensued ... he was trying to throw her over the side of the building ... Donna summoned up strength she never knew existed ... she had to survive ... she fought back with all her might but he was too powerful ... then it happened ... they both fell ... fell into darkness ...

Donna awoke ... gasping for air! ... she bolted straight upwards ... she was drenched in sweat ... panting ... where was she? ... what was happening? ... she felt herself ? she was alive ... she swallowed ... what had happened ? she wanted to be sick ... she heaved ... then breathing in and out deeply ... Donna suddenly became aware of her surroundings ... suddenly she remembered she was in hospital ... Dear God it was only a dream ... it all came back to her ... Harvey ...her memory loss ... then she remembered sending him to the hotel to sleep. She desperately needed to talk with him. Donna found her phone beside her on the beside table and quickly fidgeted and swiped at the screen, she was shaking, with trembling fingers she scrolled through the phone.

Harvey's name was first on the log of calls. After a couple of attempts she managed to press the button to call him. She needed him close, she needed to know what really happened to her ... was this a bizzare nightmare, or were they memories ?... God she hoped not ... what had happened to her?!

The phone was ringing while Donna was still shaking.

Then she felt such relief once she heard his voice.

"Donna ... Are you OK?" he almost shouted in panic.

"Harvey... ! I need to see you ... please ... I need you here" Donna was sobbing uncontrollably. "I think ... I think I'm remembering what happened ...!"

"Donna ... Donna listen to me... I'm on my way ... you're going to be OK!"

Then Donna dropped her phone and the connection was gone.

Harvey shot up out of bed, through on some clothes and ran as fast as he could towards the hospital,towards Donna.

When he got to Donna's hospital room, Harvey was out of breath, he felt so relieved to see her .. all sense of holding back ... of giving her space went immediately.

He ran to her on her bed and enveloped her into his arms.

"Shush, I've got you, I've got you" ... Donna was holding onto him for dear life, sobbing uncontrollably.

"What happened Donna ... what happened?" It's OK .. you're OK ... I've got you ... You're safe now!"

Harvey held her tight, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back gently.

"I ... I ... think... I remember Harvey ... what happened to me ... what really happened?"

Harvey held her even tighter ... "all that matters is that you are OK now ... I'm here ... I love you so much ... and nothing ... nobody is ever going to hurt you like that again ... I promise" Harvey knew he had once promised this before, but he had let her down ... never again, he thought, never again!

"I was on the roof," she sobbed "I tried to get away ... I was so scared Harvey... I thought that was it ... that I'd never see you again".

"You're safe now, I've got you". Harvey choked back his own tears as he held her tightly in his arms.

With that Donna looked up at Harvey, she looked grief stricken.

He cupped her face and stared lovingly down into her tear filled brown eyes...

She had tears streaming down her face, he wiped them away gently with his thumb, they stared lovingly into each others eyes ... nothing else mattered in this moment ... they had each other ... slowly Harvey brought his head down and placed a gentle kiss on Donna's lips; at first it was for comfort ... wanting to be close, tentatively their lips moved, slowly at first, as if kissing for the very first time, then a spark ignited within Donna and she drank him in, feeling like she couldn't get close enough ... she needed him ... wanted him ... the kiss intensified ... became more urgent ... Harvey's hands ran though her hair, how he had missed this, missed being with her, Harvey groaned ; Donna moved her hands though his hair, under his top ... if felt so good, she wanted to wash away the nightmares , wash away the pain. She felt alive, desire pulsed within her, "Harvey!" she gasped "Harvey please"!

Then suddenly there was a noise, the door opened; they immediately broke apart, Harvey quickly getting up from Donna's hospital bed.

He turned around to see a nurse had entered the room.

"I'm Beth, the night nurse" ... she looked away, highly embarrassed; "I ... I can come back later, Just doing my rounds."

"No ... no... come on in" Harvey protested, quickly trying to recover from their awkward situation.

Donna and Harvey smirked at each other ... not knowing which person in the room was more embarrassed! Feeling like teenagers who had been caught making out by their parents.

Harvey tried to save the situation "Sorry um ... Donna ... just had a nightmare ... I was just ..."

"Not a problem " Beth didn't want the details "lucky you were here so ... ,don't worry Dr. Cassidy has authorized me to give Donna a sedative for sleep if required." Beth added.

"That probably would be a good idea ... thank you," Donna replied.

Beth approached the foot of Donna's bed and began reading her medical chart.

"Look Harvey ... I'll be fine with a sleeping tablet ... now go ... get some rest ... I'll see you in the morning!"

"If you're sure?", Harvey was hesitant.

"I AM. NOW GO!" Donna directed him with a smile.

Harvey grasped Donna's hand, not wanting to let go, but knew she was right once again, as always!

"OK, you get some sleep, I'll see you in a few hours, we can talk about it all then" he smiled, squeezing her hand, then reluctantly letting go.

"Yes sir!" Donna giggled

Harvey's smile reached his eyes at Donna's humor. It felt so good to hear her laugh.

Donna smirked at him

Beth the night nurse moved towards Donna, with a medicine bottle and some water.

"Don't worry, I promise I'll take good care of your wife!"

"Thank you Beth!"

"Right so, see you in a few hours" Harvey said smiling as he turned and left Donna's hospital room.

Just outside Donna's room in the corridor, Harvey took a seat for a moment ... his emotions were mixed ... hope for the way they had been with each other just now ... but worry that her memory was returning and the pain it could cause her.

He needed to be strong for her ... help her through. He had put his head back against the wall in contemplation.

After a couple of minutes he stood up from the seat and headed back towards his hotel room. Tomorrow was another day!

...

Once again, I would like to thank you all for your support, it means the world to me, Mary xxx

Chapter 6 arriving soon !