Memories Lost

Friends and Family will see you through this

Chapter 6

...

Upon returning to his hotel room from the hospital, Harvey had fallen back into bed; however, sleep had evaded him, he had tossed and turned during the night. Thoughts of Donna, her nightmare, their passionate kiss, flowing through his mind. He had fallen asleep finally, around 4 am, from utter mental and physical exhaustion.

...

Beep,beep,beep,beep ... For a minute Harvey didn't know what was causing the noise ... then slowly he turned on his side, wiping the sleep from his eyes ... it all flooded back to him ... Donna ... the hospital ... he had set the alarm for 6 am; still exhausted and drained of energy he moved in the bed towards the side table ... leaning over he pressed the alarm button to the off position and then contemplated the day ahead ...

He decided to phone the nurse's station on Donna's floor at the hospital for an update. Harvey had called them many times for updates during the few hours he wasn't at her bedside in the last two weeks. He was relieved to hear that she had been given the sedative to aid her sleep and was in fact still sleeping. Given this, Harvey decided to go to the hotel gym for a quick workout. He needed a quick fix to relieve the stress and pressure.

Upon his return to his suite he took a shower; as the hot steaming water poured down his body he thought about the day ahead. Following Donna's nightmares last night, he worried that she would be tired and too overwhelmed by all the visitors today. It being a Saturday, all of their close family and friends had flagged to Harvey their intention to pop in and see Donna today.

Harvey knew one thing for sure, the most emotional visit would be when their children arrived to see her. He feared how it may unfold. But knew Donna would be stubborn and would probably not opt to reschedule their visit, even if she was not fully ready for it yet. What a woman he had married, he was a lucky man and he knew it! She had put him first all those years, when he had been too scared to admit his true feelings, and now she always put their family first!

Once out of the shower he dried and dressed in beige slacks and a back shirt, which had been kindly dropped off to his suite by his mother. He made a mental note to call and thank her later. Harvey decided to text Mike asking how the kids were and telling him about Donna's decision to see them today. In the text Harvey had asked Mike if he could bring the kids to the hospital around midday, telling him that Donna was eager to see them, but to keep him notified when they arrived at the hospital, just in case their was a change of mind ... Although Harvey figured it had to be a good sign that she felt she needed and wanted to see them so soon.

...

On his way to the hospital Harvey grabbed a breakfast bagel and coffee at a trolley cart ... then walked towards the hospital eager to see how Donna was feeling this morning.

...

Upon reaching Donna's room, a nurse met him on the corridor.

"Mr Specter, your wife is actually still sleeping. You can go in and wait if you like."

Harvey pushed through the door and peered into Donna's room, there wasn't a sound, he saw her lying peacefully asleep on her side; as he approached her sleeping form he smiled down and planted a soft kiss on her head. Deciding to let her sleep, he took a seat in the armchair beside the window, wanting to ensure he was there for her as soon as she woke up.

...

Just over an hour later Harvey woke up; for a moment not knowing where he was ... sunlight was streaming through , he rubbed his eyes and slowly adjusted to the view in front of him ... Donna ... "Hey Mister ... you're finally awake!" ... Donna was sitting up in bed ... some color had returned to her cheeks, she looked brighter ... more like the Donna from before all of this had happened! She was having some toast and drinking a cup of coffee and smiling towards him.

Harvey smiled back affectionately at his wife " Hey there! sorry, I must have dozed off."

Harvey stretched his arms out, turning in the seat, yawing and rubbing his face as he stood up from the chair slowly stretching out his limbs.

"What time is it?" he asked as he strode across the floor towards Donna.

"Almost 9 ," Donna replied watching the clock on the wall.

"Then, I ... slept for over an hour" Harvey realized as he reached Donna's bed.

"You needed it Harvey", "You've been so good .. too good .. you will be here in the hospital next to me if you don't rest more." She scolded slightly

Harvey smiled at the slight telling off, it felt good, like the old days, his Donna was returning.

Harvey decided to perch on the side of Donna's bed , grabbing a piece toast from the plate on her lap.

"I can always order you some ... you have been practically living here anyway you know?"

"So do you do this every morning ... at .. home ... eat my toast? Donna smirked at Harvey.

Harvey was so happy to hear Donna talk about home .. their home, it caught him off guard slightly.

"I have been known to make mean pancakes for us all actually!"

"Specter Special Pancakes?" Donna quipped! "Can't wait to try them"

"Oh you have ... and ... you love them!" Harvey smiled teasing, raising his eyebrow at Donna. "I mean ... that's when we have time for ... pancakes"

Was he flirting?! Yes he was, no doubt about it! Two can play at this game Donna figured!

"Are you still as fond of your MORNING MEETINGS Harvey!? Donna stared intently at Harvey with a questioning gaze.

"Only when Mrs. Specter is in attendance." He smiled at Donna and it reached his eyes. That Harvey Specter smile of his.

Donna couldn't help but feel flustered suddenly with all this innuendo in Harvey's description of their breakfast routine! She knew she was blushing furiously right now under Harvey's heated gaze.

She decided to throw water on this fire for now and cut to the chase. They needed to talk about her nightmare last night. And get to the truth!

Putting her head down towards her plate, she played with her toast, unable to look at Harvey directly for some strange awkward reason. Probably all the recent sexual innuendo she admitted to herself! She logged that last night's kiss had not even been mentioned yet and he had her like this already!

Changing the topic "As much as I enjoy this banter Harvey ... About last night ... I'm sorry if ... if I scared you I.. I "Donna began her sentence but Harvey interrupted.

"Donna , Donna look at me" as Donna complied to his request, she looked upwards to his face and into his beautiful but now serious brown eyes.

"You ... have ... absolutely ... nothing ... to apologize for!"

Donna continued "I know .. it's just the nightmare ... it was so real Harvey ... I know you know more than you let on Harvey " Harvey was about to interrupt her ... to explain ...

"Just let me finish ... I know its to protect me ... I get that ... I do ... and the funny thing ... it was like ... in the dream ... the fog had lifted and I even remember saying to him ... to that wretched man ... " I have children! ... I pleaded with him Harvey!, I thought that was it, that I wouldn't see you all again!" Donna began to sob, it was all getting too much!

Harvey enveloped her in his arms immediately in an attempt to comfort her.

"I've got you, I've got you ... it's all my fault Donna, it's all my fault! ..I'm so sorry ... that man ... he was after me and Mike ...We screwed him over almost 5 years ago, that is how Mike got out of prison early ... I've put you in this jeopardy Donna. I never deserved you ...!" Harvey started to break down.

"Harvey, you can't blame yourself, look at me! ... I made it through, I'm here! You are not to blame for this" she wished Harvey believed her, but doubted that he did. She knew that whatever line Harvey had crossed to get Mike out of prison early, he had done it for the right reasons!

Harvey thought he'd try lighten the mood suddenly.

"And here was me thinking you wanted to talk about that smoking hot kiss of ours last night?"

Donna blushed, Harvey still holding her close in his arms; she gazed into his eyes ...

" Harvey" she laughed nervously, then got bold, placing her right hand to his face she gazed up at him lovingly.

"Who said we need to TALK anymore about anything" Donna quipped. Almost challenging Harvey to his next move, like a game of chess.

More than willing to accept her challenge, with that Harvey lowered his head towards Donna's lips, each inching closer and closer to the other, last night's desire had awakened within them both!

Just then there was a quick knock and the door opened, with a crowd of people in white coats spilling into Donna's room.

Harvey under his breath, only within Donna's earshot blurted out "Dear God! ... can't a man get some peace around here to kiss his wife!"

With that, Donna and Harvey both erupted into laughter together. Admitting to themselves it felt good to laugh again!

...

Just after 9 am the medical team that had been taking care of Donna arrived, having interrupted Donna and Harvey's intimate moment.

Along with the medical team came a counselor, an occupational therapist and a cognitive therapist. Professor Li outlined to Harvey and Donna how he felt Donna was suffering from retrograde amnesia, explaining that it was where a person forgets incidents before an injury or traumatic event. Unfortunately they could not tell her if her memories would return, they had said that each case was unique and individual, however Professor Li felt that Donna's nightmare, was actually a positive sign on her road to possibly recovering her memories. The counselor and other therapists would assist her in the recovery process. She had also received new details of her attack, the canvas tarpaulin on the floor of the scaffolding platform had broken her fall, to the point where she hadn't broken any bones, unfortunately upon landing on the platform she had hit her head on a metal platform railing thus causing her head injury. Donna realized that her physical injuries, could have been much worse, she was lucky to be here !

After speaking with the medical team, Donna had felt more positive about her situation, even having a term for what she was suffering from and knowing that a team of medical professionals were on hand to help her with the recovery process gave her some much needed hope!

...

After the medical team's visit, Donna had consultations with the various therapists. Although Harvey had been there for these discussions they hadn't had any further time alone together since this morning, and Harvey knew that it was getting close to the time that Mike and Rachel would be arriving with their kids.

Finally at 11 am, the last of the therapists had left Donna's room, Donna's nurse Jean arrived to help her shower and change.

Following her shower Harvey immediately took the opportunity to discuss Mike's arrival. Telling Donna about their children's impending visit. He could sense both apprehension and excitement emanating from Donna. He wanted her to know that it was perfectly fine if she wanted to reschedule. He feared the stress it could subject her to.

Although she looked nervous .. Harvey could also see that Donna was eager for the visit to take place.

She was adamant "Harvey ... I NEED to do this ! " I NEED to do this for James and Lily."

"OK then, I'll be by your side ... all the way," he squeezed her hand in reassurance.

Donna smiled back, although he could tell it was a nervous smile.

"Thanks Harvey, I wouldn't have it any other way."

Suddenly Harvey's phone buzzed.

It was a text from Mike.

As he read the text he explained to Donna;

"OK ... so ... the kids are here ... with Mike and Rachel, they have just arrived in the hospital car park, could take 15 minutes or so, they need to unload the car.

"Remember .. Harvey .. I'm a trained actress .. I can do this, Lily won't know I have lost memories."

Harvey never doubted Donna's acting abilities, but something told him she was being naive about the emotional toll the impending visit could take on her.

"Harvey ... do me a favor, get my make-up bag from the closet over there, thanks?"

Harvey smiled "Of course."

Donna wanted to look as well as possible in front of their guests.

...

Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door of Donna's room .

"It's only us!" Rachel's voice rang out, Donna would know it anywhere.

"Come on in guys!" Harvey called out excitedly.

Just then, in strode Mike with Lily in his arms, she was dressed beautifully, especially for today's visit, in a pretty navy and while polka dot dress, her hair tied up with a matching bow, Rachel's hard work, Donna intuitively figured.

Mike stood in the door smiling and holding Lily who was beaming and waving excitedly, she had her Daddy's smile alright, Donna was certain of that.

While he held open the door, in came Rachel with a stroller with baby James inside. He was sleeping.

"Look Lily! its Mommy and Daddy" Mike put on an extra excited tone to his voice, especially for Lily and Donna's benefit.

Mike and Rachel smiled at Donna, "Hey Don, so happy to see her looking so well."

"Hey guys, thanks for coming" Donna sounded cheerful and happy to see her guests.

Lily came charging at Harvey, who immediately got down on his knees and outstretched his arms to his daughter. He was so happy to see her.

"Daddy" Lily yelped excited to see him.

Then Harvey picked her up "Daddy" she yelped, Harvey nuzzled his nose to Lily's "Hey princess".

Donna looked at Harvey ... amazed ... she had never remembered seeing him with a child in his arms before, let alone the surreal scene unfolding before her very eyes. Harvey the Dad, what a sight to behold!

Donna felt her eyes start to well with tears seeing Harvey with Lily in his arms. How could she not remember this, she thought to herself.

He looked so natural with her ... it amazed her ... Harvey a Daddy ... ! The best closer in New York. It was like his personality had changed the moment Lily came into the room. She had Harvey wrapped around her little finger, and Donna smiled at this realization.

Mike and Rachel moved towards Donna's bedside; seeing her amazement at the spectacle in front of her. They guessed it must be down to the fact that this was the first time she had remembered seeing Harvey with their daughter.

The sad irony of it all, Rachel thought, Mike and her had witnessed Harvey and Donna's many happy family moments. Moments which Donna appeared to no longer remember. This moment with Lily, was in fact, a normal scene they had witnessed time and time again, but now it was new to Donna; Rachel could only guess at how difficult that must be for her.

Not wanting to leave her friend out and wanting to comfort her, Rachel greeted Donna excitedly with hugs and kisses. She parked James's stroller beside them both at the bedside. Mike grabbed a couple of seats for them to sit down upon, and placed them next to Donna's bedside.

"Donna, so good to see you!" I've missed you so much!"

"You too, Rachel" as Donna hugged and kissed her back.

Rachel took a seat beside Mike. She saw Donna gazing at Lily and then baby James. How surreal it must be for her friend, she thought.

Suddenly Rachel broke the silence "Donna ... I'm so sorry about yesterday . I didn't know what to say to you ..." "I didn't want to confuse you further"

"Rach ... you did the right thing! ... Harvey told me .. what you've done for us ... you've always been such wonderful friends!"

Harvey could see Rachel and Donna were having a moment, Lily was excitedly showing him a sketch she had drawn.

"Daddy ...I did this for Mommy!" Lily excitedly and proudly held up a sketch for Harvey to see.

Harvey beamed at his daughters latest art work, a sketch of their family at the circus, his daughter had obviously inherited some artistic talent from his mom. It was truly amazing work for a four year old to have completed to such a high standard.

"Wanna show Mommy Lily"

Harvey decided it was a good ice breaker for mother and daughter.

He walked Lily over by the hand ... "some one here has made something very special for you Mommy."

Donna would have nearly fallen over, if she wasn't in bed already, when she heard Harvey called her Mommy! Wow! It had really tugged at her heart strings. Luckily she recovered quickly for Lily.

"Hey Lily" Donna spoke sweetly to her daughter.

"Mommy.. I ... made this for .. you ... Mommy."

Harvey lifted his daughter up on the bed beside Donna so that she could show Donna the sketch.

"Oh ... Lily ... it's the most beautiful drawing I have ever seen, and although Donna appreciated the fine arts ... this simple sketch, her daughter had made, tugged at her heart strings and quite simply she thought it was the prettiest art work she had ever seen."

"Mommy ... when .. r.. you coming home? Miss you Mommy?" Lily said longingly to Donna.

Donna was overwhelmed .. she didn't know what to say. She stifled back the tears.

"Lily ... I love you so much ... and I'm going to be home very soon .. I promise!"

"Love you Mommy" Lily cuddled Donna then, and Harvey could see tears welling in Donna's eyes.

Harvey gasped at the mother/daughter bonding scene before his eyes.

Rachel was holding baby James now, he had woken up and she had lifted him from the stroller, at eight months old he was the cutest baby Donna had ever seen. Rachel lifted him close to Donna so that she could hold him. At first Donna was apprehensive, almost fearing to hold him, then Harvey intervened taking Lily in his arms from Donna to give her a chance to bond with James too. Rachel helped to get James comfortably in Donna's arms and lap. He was dressed in a beautiful yellow romper suit with lion cartoon pictures. It took everything within Donna not to break down and cry. Even at that, a couple of tears managed to trickle down her cheeks ... she held James close to her chest and held his little fingers, and little toes. Hugging him closely, she smelled him, ... something about the smell was so familiar. She couldn't describe it, it just felt like home, so natural.

Technically Donna couldn't remember, couldn't see through the fog to access those precious memories with her children but she felt it was real, the memories were there, if only the veil of fog would rise slightly higher. She hoped and prayed that it would.

After a little while they all fell into easy conversation, laughing as if nothing had happened. Lily and James loved being the center of attention, each adult taking turns to hold them and play with them. Having Mike and Rachel there had made it a more natural and fluid experience, it had taken the pressure off Donna somewhat and Harvey was grateful for that. Although this all felt new to Donna, in a weird way it felt perfectly natural as if she was experiencing a deja vu of some kind. Rachel told the funny story of Mike trying to bring a Christmas tree home for the kids into Harvey and Donna's house and how it wouldn't fit in through the door and Mike had to try saw off some branches. The room erupted into laughter. Donna realized Christmas was fast approaching and quietly made a vow to herself to be home with her family for Christmas Day.

Then it was time to go and Donna and Harvey kissed their children goodbye, sending them home with Mike and Rachel. As they left Harvey told Donna how proud he was of her. She had been so strong for their children. He comforted Donna as she cried after Lily and Donna had left. Donna realized she had indeed underestimated the power of the parental connection and how their visit would affect her.

...

Donna's parents had arrived around 3 o'clock. Harvey warned her that her mother had had a stroke the previous year. Her appearance was much older than Donna remembered. On a positive note she had been so happy to hear that her parents were back together. They all chatted and had tea. Her Dad got quite emotional at one point in the conversation, his baby girl being hurt like that had almost finished him. At least she got the vibe from the atmosphere between Harvey and her Dad, that they had a much better relationship now than she has remembered.

Then it had been time for her parents to take their leave and they said their emotional farewells, promising to visit the following Saturday and call Donna each day between now and then.

...

It was after 6 pm, and all of Donna's visitors had left, she didn't like to admit it, but she was tired. Seeing all of her family and friends had been amazing, but most especially her children, they were on her mind now constantly. She knew they were her children, but it still felt like she was a 'stand in' in some other woman's life. She needed and wanted to recover as quickly as possible for her children and for Harvey.

Harvey had gone to the cafeteria to grab a quick coffee and call his Mom when all of a sudden Donna heard a knock to her bedroom door.

"Come on in!" she called out.

"Hey, it's only me Donna!," a welcome and familiar head popped through the door.

Donna could not believe the sight before her eyes, it was Louis ... it was unmistakably him ... but my, how he had changed, he was looking so slim and trim, like she had never seen him before. He was even wearing fitness gear. He looked fantastic and she was so pleased to see her friend.

"Louis!"

"Donna" he said softly as he approached her bedside.

She held out her arms and they hugged. There were tears. They had always been so close.

Louis was holding her hands in his own now, perched on the side of her bed, "I was here ... before ... but you were sleeping ... for days Donna. I've been so scared. I thought I was going to lose my best friend."

"Oh Louis, I'm here ... everything is going to be fine, I promise! you look fabulous by the way!"

"Thanks Donna!" With that Louis stood up from the bed and did a twirl.

"It's the lemon and lime prunie juice diet Donna, it's the latest diet craze in Manhattan, you really have missed out! Don't worry, I'll soon get you up to speed"

Donna laughed ... how she had missed Louis and his ridiculousness ! She loved her friend so much!

Donna and Louis then passed the time chatting about everything from his new juice diet, to PSL now having a Chicago office, to Louis informing Donna that Mike and Rachel were Lily's god parents and that he and Jessica were James's godparents. Wow she had thought, their PSL colleagues had become their family. She wasn't surprised. They had always felt like family to her!

Louis apologized for Jessica not being there, saying how she was meant to come with Louis and had been so excited at the prospect of seeing Donna, but then she had to fly out to Chicago urgently on business.

Then suddenly Harvey returned to Donna's room and Louis saw it as his cue to leave, noting how tired Donna was, and wanting to give her and Harvey time alone together.

The two friends hugged again and cried.

Louis headed for the door to exit, before doing so he turned to Donna, wanting to say something thoughtful and helpful. After all he had been practicing mindfulness lately. All part of his new zen lifestyle.

"Donna, don't you worry, friends and family will see you through this!"

"In fact, as it's Sunday tomorrow, I'll call in, bring you some Shakespeare TV adaptions."

"I'd love that Louis, thank you." Donna smiled appreciatively at her friend, watching him leave.

She was so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends, helping her through this incredibly tough time. She had a renewed hope after today.

...

Thank you for reading, reviewing etc. I love to get feedback. Love Mary xxx

Chapter 7 will be up soon!