Shinpachi felt small next to the impeding presences of the Joi 3 and the Yato siblings. Their auras were strong and clashed while they were merely standing opposite of each other.

The Shinsengumi members were not to be underestimated either. They were still the property owners of this piece of barren wasteland and that was a title they were not giving away anywhen in the near future.

The tension was strong, and all surrounding humans and Amanto didn't dare say a word.

Shinpachi gulped.

Katsura was the first to speak. "Leader, I believe we will have to settle this our way."

The redhead nodded with conviction. "I trust you have the equipment?"

"Of course, I'm always prepared." He replied with a light bow and reached into the insides of his kimono.

The glasses' stand heart rate rose by the second, and he couldn't begin to fathom what Katsura was going to present them with once his hand reappeared. He looked at the other participants, sure that they were just as anxious as him and-

Takasugi was in the process of relighting his pipe and adjusting the bandage over his face a bit. Gintoki picked his nose and flicked his booger off to the side. Kamui found something in Sadaharu's fur and was trying to get it out. Okita was cleaning his bazooka while Kondo was suddenly missing a few teeth and Hijikata was wiping gorilla saliva and blood off his knuckles.

The only person who looked about ready to pee their pants was Madao.

"Oi! What's with this atmosphere?!" Shinpachi exclaimed. "This is going to break out into an epic fight any moment, what the hell are all of you doing?!"

"Obviously, we're waiting for Zura." Gintoki remarked sarcastically.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." The terrorist corrected his former comrade-in-arms.

"Katsura, are you sure you brought it?" Kagura asked her ally with a hint of impatience.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure it's here!" He answered while digging through the other side of his kimono. After pulling out multiple questionable objects, his face lit up in triumph as he pulled out a small, red, rectangular shape.

Takasugi focused on his fellow rebel and put on a serious battle face, as did Kamui, who cracked his knuckles for extra measure.

Shinpachi was about to let out a furious battle cry when he realised exactly what Katsura had taken out of his pocket.

"Are those… UNO cards?" He asked in disbelief.

"How else did you expect us to settle this?" Okita chimed in with unusual life in his voice. His red eyes were burning and he looked ready to tear somebody apart bare-handed.

"I… I don't know! Epic battles, fires, swords, honour… Anything but this!" Shinpachi shouted while banging his head against the nearest remains of a wall.

"This is an epic, honourable fight." Katsura explained while the others just nodded in agreement. "You will not insult it."

"It's a card game! There's nothing epic about it!" Shinpachi started wheezing hard after his shouting barrage, and he stared at them in disbelief.

"The only thing more epic than UNO is mayonnaise." The Demon Vice-Chief explained, having dropped Kondo back on the ground with a lit cigarette between his teeth.

"You're the only person who cares about that dog food." Okita teased.

"It's not dog food, moron."

"Stop your nonsense, and let us begin." Katsura announced, getting everybody's attention.

He began spreading the cards into ten equal stacks. Kagura swept aside some rubble to form a cleared, circular pattern on the ground. Everybody except Shinpachi sat down in the circle and Katsura placed the remains of the stack in the middle.

"Oi, Shinpachi." Kamui called out to him. "You can sit here." He pointed at the vacant space next to him.

"Why do I have to be the straight guy?" He muttered to himself as he let himself drop on the designated spot.

With high reluctance he took his stack and looked at his cards. And looked again. And again.

"Kondo, how kind of you to pass your move. But I'm afraid you'll still need to take a card from the stack." Katsura said to the unconscious gorilla and placed another card on the man's stack.

"Hey, Katsura…" Shinpachi said slowly while lowering his cards. "This is UNO, right?"

"Of course, weren't you listening just now?" Takasugi answered.

"If this is UNO, then what the fuck are Pokémon cards doing in my stack?!" He threw his cards on the ground, revealing a very familiar Eevee card amongst the colourful numbers. "And why does its backside look like an UNO card?!"

Kondo suddenly came back to life and let out a dramatic gasp. "That card! It couldn't be!"

"Is that…? No, it was destroyed in the factory fire, it shouldn't exist!" Kamui fearfully eyed the brown Pokémon.

"Hah!" A triumphant look glowed on Katsura's face. "It is indeed the legendary Eevee that was created because the factory workers let the cat trample around on the controls which switched the templates around, but no, it didn't go down in the fire. I, Katsura, was able to save it!"

"Tch." Takasugi clicked his tongue. "I'm afraid not even my +4 card can counter an attack from the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon."

Shinpachi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and picked up the card in order to inspect it closer. A blank look draped itself on his face while he stood still for a few seconds before releasing a loud scream. "WHY CAN AN EEVEE USE A NEO ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON?! WASN'T IT JUST PORN?!"

Shinpachi couldn't help but think about how ridiculous this must look from an outside perspective. Ten people sitting in a circle amongst rubble and flames, staring intently at cards. He tiredly looked at his hand and pulled out a green 3 and put on top of the other cards. This was just so absurd.

It was also ridiculous how terrible Katsura was at the game, even though these were his cards. Speaking of which, he was currently examining his own hand with so much concentration that Shinpachi could swear there was an aura surrounding him, not that that helped with his rotten luck.

The special Eevee card lay next to the deck, since all members agreed that the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon was just to overpowered and the winner would immediately be determined by who held the card.

The ten of them continued playing in silence, until the first +4 card was placed on the stack by Kagura. She made eye contact with Takasugi, who was sitting next to her, and chose yellow.

He smirked and confidently and put down a yellow +2 card and grinned at Katsura, who probably for the first time that day, was lucky enough to have a green +2 card on hand. The terrorist shot the next in turn, Hijikata, a shit-eating grin before putting his card on top of the others.

Hijikata calmly took his cigarette out of his mouth and flicked another yellow +2 card on top of the pile, giving Okita a meaningful look. The sadistic police officer merely nodded and put his blue +2 card with equally little enthusiasm on top of Hijikata's. Kondo joined them and put a red +2 card on the stack as well.

Shinpachi stared at the red card signing him up for eternal doom, then reluctantly put his only good card down on the pile. "I choose green." He sighed in defeat, saying goodbye to his precious +4 card.

Kamui broke out into a grin and winked at Shinpachi, putting a green +2 card on the stack. This wasn't going to end well, especially with Gin's eminent troll face as he let a red +2 card dramatically sail on top of the others and smirked at Abuto.

The blonde Yato yawned and placed his own +2 card, blue one, on the stack, and calmly looked over at his captain. She smiled into the round and pulled out a yellow +2 card from her deck. Takasugi audibly sighed and flicked a green +2 on to the stack, only to be met with the sight of a sweating Katsura.

He trembled in silence before putting his cards on the ground face-down and beginning to count with his fingers. "Well, I guess that makes one, two, three… a lot of cards."

With that, the atmosphere suddenly grew tense. Everybody cautiously let their eyes flicker between each other. Hijikata quietly put down his cards as well and let his fingers crawl towards the handle of his katana while Katsura was still desperately trying to count out how many cards he had to draw from the stack now.

Takasugi tapped his pipe against the ground, getting rid of the access ash and inconspicuously rested his hand near his sheathed katana.

Katsura scratched the side of his head until Kagura also put down her cards and leaned over to him and whispered "28" into his ear. His face grew enlightened as he began to draw from the stack, counting enthusiastically in the process.

But Kamui didn't fail to notice that his sister didn't pick up her cards again, instead she placed both her arms behind her, suspiciously close to her magically repaired umbrella.

He mirrored her action, slowly wrapping his hand around the handle of his own purple parasol.

Katsura continued counting down as he took card after card from the pile. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, on-"

Before he even finished the saying the number, he along with the majority of the others all jumped up, pointing their drawn weapons at each other. Shinpachi stared at them all in confusion, shocked by the sudden change in pacing. UNO cards sailed through the air like cherry blossoms while everybody glared each other down with their best evil eye.

Then, in a split second, everybody charged into the middle of the circle. Kamui headed straight for his sister, forcefully pushing Gintoki into Takasugi in the process of breaking through. Kondo thrust his sword at Katsura, who laughed and threw his UNO cards into the air, using them as a distraction to circle around the Gorilla. And, for whatever reason, Okita chose this as the perfect moment to murder Hijikata.

"Sougo, you fucking bastard! What do you think you're doing?" He seethed at his fellow officer. "They're the enemy, go and kill them!"

"I felt like giving them a handicap, since we outnumber them." He drawled in reply.

"Go and commit seppuku."

Meanwhile, Kagura skilfully dodged her brother's kick and jumped over him with ease, aiming a kick to the back of his head. He turned around and grabbed her leg in order to fling her to the side of the ruins of the Shinsengumi compound. She cursed mid-air and landed in a crouch, pulled up her umbrella and pointed the machine gun at her opponent, immediately opening fire.

He shielded himself from her bullets by opening his umbrella and letting the special fabric absorb his sister's deadly attacks. Using the cover, he ran towards her, careful to keep her movements in sight.

She was fast, he knew that. And she was more experienced and more skilled than he was, so all the more reason for him to be cautious. The Yato blood in his veins was pumping furiously, exited to battle once more.

He caught sight of her smiling at him before she vanished. He sensed her movements, telling him that she was behind him. He swung his umbrella around, blocking her attack in the nick of time.

This was not going to be easy.

Takasugi calmly placed his pipe back into the folds of his kimono while holding the sheath of his katana against Gintoki's bokuto.

"I believe we're still even, correct? How about we change that?" He asked his silver-haired former comrade.

"Are you that desperate to lose to me?"

He scoffed. "I think you're the one who's going to lose to me."

They charged at each other, swords clashing, and Gintoki took the initiative to pull back and aim for the head, something Takasugi saw coming and blocked with ease. He took a step back and changed into a different position, ready to aim for his former comrade's arms.

"This seems familiar, does it not?" He smirked at the silver-haired man. "Brings back memories."

Gintoki pushed his blade aside, avoiding injury and shook his head. "It doesn't bring back memories, it brings back nightmares."

"Heh, it's all a question of perspective. I believe we were their nightmares." Takasugi answered.

Katsura had hoped the distraction would be enough to take down the Shinsengumi Chief, but he had apparently underestimated the Gorilla.

"Neat trick you did there, but I'm afraid it won't be enough to cut me down." The gorilla laughed while blocking Katsura's attacks.

"We shall see about that." The Joishishi leader replied. They were both talented swordsmen, but now was the time to find out who was better than the other.

Their swords met with an ear-piercing screech as they forcefully tried to push the other back, but both held their ground as sturdy as a rock. This was a test of strength, after all, one that neither one of them was willing to lose.

Shinpachi took in the scenarios with a blank look on his face, slowly turning towards the last member still sitting in the circle with him. It was the tall, blonde Yato who served Kamui's sister, Abuto.

"I don't really want to fight, you know?" The Yato yawned into his palm. "It's not really worth it. Violence isn't the way to solve just about anything. How about this, human, we continue playing UNO while the rest of them are being total idiots, sound good?"

Shinpachi tried his best to smile and nodded mutely. Anything to get him out of severe trouble. With trembling fingers, he reached for the scattered cards and began to shuffle them, all while anxiously looking at Abuto, praying he doesn't change his mind halfway through.

Fortunately for Kamui, Kagura had kept her basic fighting style, the style they had learned from their father. Most of her moves were easy to read and anticipate, however, the strength and force behind them had increased significantly in comparison to when they were just kids.

But that didn't stop his ability to predict her moves. She was going all offense, attacking so rapidly in an attempts to keep him on the defensive. This style worked for her best, after all. She was flexible and highly mobile, but he had more brute strength when it came down to it. However, she had found a way to evade that problem. She always blocked his strikes with her parasol, always keeping an eye on his exact movements, every shift and every place his eyes briefly looked towards.

And while she had managed to land multiple significant hits on him, she was practically untouched, only slightly injured from their previous scuffle. Their short session of UNO was enough to heal up partially, but apparently not enough. He spotted the reddish remains of a heling burn mark on her arm and readied himself for his underhanded move. He let her fist come dangerously close to his face before wrapping his hand around her exposed burn, digging his fingernails into the unprotected flesh.

She hissed loudly and elbowed him in the face as a response, then clutched her wounded arm close to herself.

"You're going to pay for that." She threatened with a dangerously low voice.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You left me no choice."

She cracked her knuckles, obviously still effected from blocking the Sadist's sword with her bare hands just now, and winced. "You always have the choice to drop dead, big brother."

Taken by surprise that she had officially acknowledged him, he had no time to block her next attack, a good old punch to the face. He heard the audible crack of his nose probably breaking and felt the warm liquid gush over his face.

Great, now he just looked like one big pervert.

He caught her second fist in time and attempted to fling her away once more, but she caught on to his plan and managed to cling on to his arm similar to a koala on a branch. She used this opportunity to try and kick him in the face, but he bent his neck away from the trouble before it could impact.

Kamui feinted falling forwards, which made her jump off as a precaution to avoid being trapped under him, coincidentally freeing him in the progress. He made use of the second it took her to land and steady herself again and aimed his parasol at her, unleashing a wave of bullets.

She leapt into the air in response, managing to dodge all bullets and land behind a piece of concrete wall.

Now it was a test of speed and reaction. Who would be able to shoot the other first?

Takasugi, until this day, had no idea how Gintoki's wooden sword could withstand the blows from his katana. He struck and parried and attacked and blocked, but that bokuto was made of something stronger than metal.

It was an odd, but familiar routine sparring against Gintoki. He remembered the old days, when they would fight each other under the watchful eye of their teacher Shouyo.

But then he would always remember the sight of the dismembered head rolling on the ground, a sight that would always spark his inner anger and rage.

That picture in mind, he attacked Gintoki.

The leader of the Joishishi versus the Shinsengumi Chief. Katsura smirked to himself as he casually slipped a bomb into Kondo's coat and immediately distanced himself from the explosive.

Unlike the police, he wasn't afraid of doing amoral things. The explosion resonated across the compound and took down some more of the already destroyed building, but the gorilla was still standing.

"Gorillas have tougher skin than you think. And now…" His eyes glinted. "Now I shall repay you for all the times you messed with our toilet paper!"

Shinpachi sighed as he reluctantly drew another card from the stack. It seemed like Katsura's bad luck had transferred to him as he stared at the yellow 9 looking back at him, then he glanced at the red 5 that had put a significant halt to either of the two player's progression.

Abuto also reached for another card and shook his head, indicating that their current standstill would last longer. Where the hell had all the red cards disappeared to?

Okita and Hijikata had successfully snuck way from the fray and entered the Shinsengumi's weapon room, procuring items that would set their victory in stone, even if Hijikata was wary of the way Sougo's eyes were sparkling at the sight of his beloved bazookas.

Madao sat quietly in the middle of the ruins, sulking away as nobody seemed to pay attention to him. "They didn't even let me play UNO with them, and here I thought I had finally become Kenpachi…"

AN: I went back and changed the first chapter a bit because I wasn't really happy with how it was, but it didn't have too much of an impact on the story line.

I also decided to completely remove all honorifics after being traumatized by reading horrible inter-language disasters, so it might appear a bit weird at first.

I hope you and enjoyed it :)

PS: Chapter 636 was pure gold. Nobody can tell me otherwise.

~Emi