Hi my fellow Darvey fans. So here is my finale chapter to 'Memories Lost'. Apologies it took so long to update. Got sidetracked with work, college and then the flu! I want to thank my Darvey friend Vickster51 for all her advice and support. So grateful to have met her in the Darvey Fandom last year. We have such wonderful fun together talking and planning stories. Also, a huge shout out to my wonderful Twitter sister zhandi21 - This chapter is for you guys and all in our amazing Darveyland ! Mary xx

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'Memories Lost'

Epilogue Chapter

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Following Christmas Day Donna had enjoyed spending time with Harvey and the kids. There had been family walks in Central Park and trips to the zoo.

Observing Harvey in full 'family mode' tugged at Donna's heart every time. Their first trip to the supermarket, Harvey had drove them all in their 'family car' albeit a fancy family car, an Audi SUV. Donna had looked across at Harvey driving along with their kids in the back. "What, what's so amusing?!" "Nothing ... " she giggled. Just Harvey Spector in full 'family mode' ... it suits you ... it REALLY suits you!" She beamed. He took her hand and kissed the back of it " Donna ... you ain't seen nothing yet" he chuckled, thrilled his wife was so happy. That had been the first day she had felt that normal family life was resuming for the four of them.

Although part of Donna still felt as though she was pretending in someone elses' life, she did her best to hide this fact. She desperately hoped that all of her memories would return the more she immersed herself into regular everyday family activities. Even with her memory issues, Donna knew she had never felt this complete and happy before. She had also found herself spending hours looking through the photo album which Harvey had gifted to her for Christmas. Photos depicting all the memories she had lost. She felt a strange familiarity viewing the photos and hoped this would eventually turn to concrete memories of the events depicted.

She was still mesmerized that this was their life now. She had found herself fully immersed in family life and loved every minute of it. Harvey's mother was still there to help and had decided to move nearby with her husband Bobby. Harvey was insisting on buying his mom a house close to him, Donna and their children. It warmed Donna's heart how close he had become to his mother in recent years.

Harvey and Donna had also received the welcome news that the police had concluded their investigation into Donna's attack and were closing the case. They could finally move on with their lives. Yes, there would be more therapy and hospital appointments, but things were finally moving in a positive direction.

As the New Year approached, they had decided to stay in on New Year's Eve night. Mike and Rachel were due to pop around on their way to a New Year's ball.

Their nanny June was still away for the holidays with her family in Boston. So until after the New Year it was just Harvey, Donna, the kids and Harvey's mom.

...

On New Year's Eve morning, Donna was baking in the kitchen with Harvey's mom and little Lily was helping. Her job was cutting out the dough with a children's star shaper. Lily was dressed in a pink sparkly dress with a silver star on the front, accessorized with her own mini baking apron. Donna loved that she was already a little mini-me fashionista. As Donna kneaded the dough she smiled to herself contentedly. This was her life now! What would the Donna of old thought of this future; married to Harvey with two mini -me's and a house in the suburbs, all that was missing was the family dog. Although Donna suspected this was next on Harvey's to-do list.

"I'm so relieved!" Lily spoke quietly to Donna, she had tears in her eyes, and Donna felt she knew she was referring to the last few weeks.

Donna smiled towards her mother-in-law and placed her arm around her shoulders " Lily ... thank you so much ... we couldn't have got through this without you!"

"I came straight away ... that's what family is for ... Besides, if it wasn't for you Donna ... I may not be here in my son's life right now. Thank you!"

"I'm so happy ... all those years ... we were apart ... HE had YOU!" Lily smiled warmly at Donna, with tears gently falling down her face.

"Oh Lily..!" Donna had now found herself overcome with emotion, she smiled sweetly at her mother-in-law.

As Donna was about to respond, the kitchen door swung open ... Donna smiled immediately in recognition, it was Harvey carrying James in his arms ... they were back from the park. James was wrapped up warmly in a wool onesie suit and bear hat with ears ... he looked adorable.

"Hey! we're back!" Harvey exclaimed animatedly.

"Daddy" Lily dropped what she was doing and ran straight to put her arms around Harvey's legs. She really was a daddy's girl.

Harvey acknowlged his little daughter immediately,making sure to bend down with James and give her a hug.

Donna smiled at the scene before her eyes ... her husband, baby son and daughter... it melted her heart! How was she this lucky she thought.

"Okay, so James loved the park but its FREEZING, even for this little bear," Harvey kissed his son's head ... it was the cutest scene.

Donna wiped the flour from her hands on the sides of her apron and then rounded the kitchen island towards her husband and baby son.

Harvey smiled widely and put his arm around Donna as she held her son's gloved hand and kissed his cold nose.

She couldn't still get over the love she felt for her children and for Harvey.

James smiled widely at Donna while cooing. Although he had uttered his first words recently, they had yet to hear a repeat performance.

"He missed his mommy," Harvey smiled his best Cheshire cat smile in Donna's direction.

He then handed James over into Donna's arms.

Donna chatted baby talk like a pro,"You missed Mommy ... didn't you! Yes you did ... oh Mommy's little bear!"

"Mom ... you're baking!?" Harvey smiled in the direction of his mother.

"Actually ...WE'RE baking ... little Lily here has been essential to the operation!"

Harvey swung his little girl up into his arms.

"Lily ... I'm so proud of you helping Mommy and Grandma bake!"

"Daddy ... I'm baking stars for you .."

"You're baking stars! ... wow! wanna show me?!" Harvey exclaimed animatedly and excitedly for his daughter's benefit.

Lily proudly showed her Daddy her star which she held in her flour covered hand.

"Oh Harvey! ... she'll get flour everywhere!" Lily laughed at her son. She was secretly overwhelmed to see her son's life had turned out so content and happy.

"Don't worry Mom!, I'll clean it up." Harvey beamed at his mother pulling her in and giving her a kiss ... Harvey was delighted his mother had become such an integral part of their family. He regretted often, all the years they had spent apart. Now with his own family he had realized, it had just been pure stubbornness on his part to let the rift go on for too many years.

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The rest of the day was spent cleaning up after baking and preparing a family dinner with Lily senior at the helm in the kitchen. She felt she was making up for all the years she lost with Harvey. After dinner they watched kids movies and then watched over Lily who was trying to teach baby James how to play her favourite games. She wouldn't listen to reason that he was still too young. She was besotted with her baby brother.

Lily senior had begun to paint a portrait of the family. After a couple hours of painting she put away her canvas for the evening, she was meeting her husband Bobby for a New Year's date. They needed some quality time together after the long weeks she had spent helping take care of her grandchildren.

...

Around 6pm the doorbell rang. Harvey knew immediately who it was.

He opened the door with an excited Lily in his arms.

"Look Lil .. look who is here! .. its Aunty Rachel and Uncle Mike!"

Lily looked in amazement at Mike and Rachel who were all dressed up for their New Year's ball.

"Aunty Rachel .. luv your dress!" Lilly squealed with delight. She had become even closer to her godmother during Donna's recent stay in hospital.

"Thank you Lily, love your pink PJs."

Rachel felt a sudden pang ... she secretly missed Lily and the time she had spent minding Donna and Harvey's family. She had longed for a child of her own.

"Come on in you guys". Harvey greeted his friends warmly.

"Where's Donna at?" Mike asked.

"She's just putting James down in the nursery. She'll be down soon."

"In the mean time you'll have to make do with me!, but Lily here has baked cookies especially for you guys, haven't you Lil?"

"Yes" Lily squealed suddenly wriggling free of Harvey's arms "they're in ..here ... look ... look" she ran into the living room all excited.

"Right" Harvey laughed, we better follow the little boss!"

They all laughed, little Lily really was becoming the boss of the house.

Harvey showed Mike and Rachel into the large living room.

They all sat in front of a roaring fire where the beautifully decorated Christmas tree still adorned the corner of the room.

Rachel and Mike smiled to one another, they felt happy that things were returning to normal for their closest friends.

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Donna had placed baby James down for the night, looking at her sleeping baby, she put the night mobile on ... stars lit up the ceiling of the nursery ... it was perfect! She couldn't remember decorating the nursery but knew immediately from the beautiful decor that she had made the decisions. Definitely her style!

She had heard Harvey greet Mike and Rachel downstairs, so she decided she had to draw herself leaned over her son and gave him a gentle kiss "Night my angel". With that she turned on the baby monitor and proceeded towards the landing and the stairs.

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"Wow Rach! I love your dress ... FABULOUS !" Donna exclaimed to her friend as she entered the living room.

Rachel got up and excitedly gave a twirl in her dress, followed quickly by Lily, who gave several twirls in her pink bunny PJs, immediately sending everyone into fits of laughter.

Donna felt a tad under dressed with Mike and Rachel in formal evening wear. Although she had a beautiful sparkly short blue wool dress on, it felt casual in comparison. But what really surprised her was that she didn't care,she was happy for her friend and content with staying in with her family tonight. There was no longing to be heading out to the ball.

"Thanks Don!" Rachel greeted her friend with a kiss.

"So you guys feel like getting a babysitter and joining us at the ball?" Mike teased.

"Only ... if Donna wants to?" Harvey smiled at his wife then.

"Thanks Mike.. but WE'RE good, just a quiet night in for us this year I think, maybe next year." Donna smiled contentedly at Harvey.

...

Mike and Rachel had stayed for an hour or so before saying their goodbyes and leaving for the ball. Rachel had helped Donna tuck Lily into bed before leaving. She shared her secret with Donna then, that Mike and her had decided to try IVF in the New Year. Donna was thrilled for her friend and vowed to help her through it.

...

With a couple of hours to go before midnight Harvey and Donna sat alone before a roaring fire. Donna with a glass of red wine and Harvey with his signature scotch. Since she had returned home from hospital last week this had become their routine, after Lily and James were asleep.

Harvey noticed Donna hadn't spoken in a while ...she had a far away look in her eyes staring into the fire ...

"Donna ... are you okay?" Harvey gently touched her hand.

"Mmmmh... I'm fine" she smiled at Harvey's touch " Its ... its just ..."

Harvey looked concerned "Just what...?" He asked tenderly.

"Just ... thinking ... remembering ... a night like this ... "

Harvey listened intently to his wife.

"That night ... at my apartment ...after you prevented my going to jail ... " Donna cast her eyes from her wine glass to her husband.

Harvey smiled softly towards his wife "I remember ... I'll let you in on a little secret ... you had NO IDEA... HOW... terrified I had been Donna!"The thought of you possibly going to jail ... That's when ... when EVERYTHING changed ... " his tone was sincere and honest. "I was terrified ... terrified at the thought .. of losing you!" Harvey's eyes watered at the memory.

"I ... I couldn't hide it anymore" he continued.

"Couldn't hide what...?" Donna pressed him further, although feeling she knew his answer already. She was enjoying the raw honesty from Harvey.

"That ... I loved you ... I wasn't ... able to act on it ...yet ... not that night ... but I felt I had to let you know. After all ... I had almost lost you...!"

"It threw me... " Donna remembered his shocking admission to her that night.

"In a good way?" Harvey asked reminiscing.

"In .. the most amazing and petrifying way!" Donna beamed at Harvey revealing her own raw honesty.

"I love ... that I can remember THAT night ...but ... what happens? ... if I don't remember.. everything ... especially these last few precious years?" Donna looked downcast suddenly.

"THEN ... I'll fill you in ... on whatever you want or need to know!" Harvey made sure to sound upbeat and positive. "Besides we'll make new memories..."

"Are you ... happy?" "If you NEED .. ANYTHING..?" Harvey knew he would do anything for his Donna.

"Harvey ... I HAVE EVERYTHING!" she stated with absolute certainty.

"I'm happy ... TODAY .. I made star shaped cookies with OUR daughter...go figure ... OUR daughter" she smiled "and it was the most simple ...yet amazing experience!" she wiped a tear from her eye, overcome with emotion suddenly.

Harvey was amazed by the woman before him and pulled her in until they were forehead to forehead "Oh Donna ... shush ... its okay... I'm here..." he whispered gently, wiping a tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"AND ...I remember... THAT night ... that Jessica left ..." Donna spoke quietly, her voice trembling. "So MAYBE ... more memories will come back .. who knows!" she sounded hopeful now.

"The night we held hands" Harvey stated smiling.

"I'm just SO happy ... that I remembered that" Donna added.

"I'm so happy you did too" Harvey smirked.

"Do you remember ... LATER that night ... at my apartment?" Harvey asked coyly.

Donna smiled shyly "unfortunately .. not yet... not EVERYTHING" she giggled suddenly. At least some humour was returning to their night.

"We ... were .. both..quite nervous ... believe it or not" Harvey smirked at Donna then ... taking a sip of his scotch.

"Well .. I suppose it had been 12 years ... since ..'the other time' " Donna added, amused at the direction their conversation had taken.

"I'll never forget .. the very first night I met you" Harvey admitted suddenly.

"I pulled my "this is the day you get to meet Donna shit on you ... didn't I?" Donna laughed then getting all nostalgic.

"Yes .. YOU .. did! and I thought ...you were shit hot and so beautiful !" Harvey added proudly.

"I was ... wasn't I " Donna stated firmly with a wry smile towards Harvey.

"You ALWAYS will be !" Harvey smiled adoringly at Donna then ... with pure love in his eyes.

Donna smiled shyly at her husband, her Harvey ... as he brought her in for another embrace.

"But Harvey ... how are you?" "I MEAN these last few weeks ... its been all about me ...but ... they must have been ...so tough for you ... " Donna felt slightly guilty at the burden her 'accident' had put on Harvey and the family.

Harvey caressed her face then ... looking deeply into her eyes "Hey .. HEY ...look at me ... Donna!"

"ALL I care about .. is that you are here ...WITH ME ... with OUR CHILDREN;... when ... it happened Donna .. I was so scared ... that..I was gonna lose you!" tears fell down his cheek and he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand, wanting to remain the strong one for Donna.

"I love you ... Harvey ... so much ..., I'm not going anywhere," she reassured him.

"I'm the luckiest man Donna" Harvey spoke softly to his wife.

Donna blushed at Harvey's words ... suddenly feeling the urge to ask something that had been bugging her of late.

"Was I ?... was I the same ... before ... before all of this ... ?" Donna asked cautiously. "I ..NEED ..TO ..KNOW!"

Harvey sensed Donna needed some reassurance "Hey ...LOOK at me ..."he asked tenderly "you've always been my Donna ... and you always will be ... NOTHING has changed ... NOTHING!"

Donna became overwhelmed with emotion " Thanks Harvey ... I REALLY needed to hear that, more than you know.."

"When .. did we become so sentimental?" she gave him a playful dig.

"Well its YOUR fault!" With that Harvey smiled and pulled his wife in for a kiss filled with emotion.

"How about ... we finish the count down to the New Year ...upstairs!" He smirked.

"Harvey Specter ... I thought you'd never ask ... AND how about we bring the champagne that's chilling in the fridge up ... ring it in ..in style" Donna added.

"With whipped cream and strawberries" Harvey raised an eyebrow suggestively.

" OF COURSE ... WITH whipped cream AND strawberries !" She said winking back. "Why do you think there are two cans of cream sitting in our fridge!"

"WHAT ... are we waiting for then?!" Harvey smirked and laughed.. taking Donna's hand gently in his.

Oh ... she would never tire of this intimacy she thought then to herself. Same Harvey and Donna banter, only now, they could act on their feelings, instead of dancing around them.

That night, New Year's Eve Night, Donna knew that everything was going to be fine. She just knew it ... because SHE WAS DONNA and because she had her Harvey by her side.

The End.

Thank you for reading - Mary xxx

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