A month passed, and we were struggling to hand over supplies to Adam. Our resources disappeared quickly as we handed over everything we had. We spent every day frantically searching for a new place to scavenge, but everything was ransacked. Eventually, we didn't even have enough food for ourselves. Apart from Vivienne's garden, we had nothing left to give.
I went out all day to try and find anything that we could give to please the Saviors, but failed to find supplies. Unlike Negan, Adam showed up every seven days for his stuff. So seven days later, we were desperate.
After driving around all day, I returned back to Doveport empty handed and saw the others were just as unsuccessful. We met inside the school to discuss our options. The sun was starting to set, and Adam was going to be arriving any minute. He had made it very clear that if we weren't able to deliver, we would pay.
"I could dig up my garden," Vivienne suggested. "There's plenty of food there and it could buy us another week." I could see the worry in her eyes as she spoke.
"You've worked too hard on that, Viv," Philip said, squeezing her shoulder. "And we need to eat too."
"We could give them one of the cars," Amy pointed out, but Philip shook his head immediately.
"No, we need that to gather supplies. If they take that, we're gonna be in even worse shape than now." He was right; we needed the cars.
"Why don't we just talk with him?" Eric asked. "Explain to him that we're doing the best we can."
"He isn't going to want to hear excuses," I said, crossing my arms. "We still have that toolbox. We could hand that over." I thought back to meeting Charlotte and how she had given that to me without even hesitating.
"Okay." Philip agreed, nodding his head. "And we can show them around the school and offer them anything they want to take."
I headed to my room to grab the toolbox, and then returned to where the others were still standing near the front doors. It wasn't long before Ryan pulled the gate open and the Saviors' trucks drove into the front yard of the school. We watched as Adam jumped out with his men and headed up towards the building. I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, but did my best to ignore it.
Philip pulled the door open for him, and Adam marched in and pushed Eric out of his way as he stepped inside.
"Hello, assholes!" he sang, turning to look at Philip. "Where's my shit?"
"Here," I said, handing over the toolbox. Giving him the tools made me feel a bit sad because it was all I had left to remind me of Charlotte. We had already given them the other supplies she had sent home with me.
"I don't want this," he growled at me, and then turned back to Philip. "Well? Where's the rest of it?!"
"We can show you around the school and you're free to take anything you like," Philip offered in a calm voice. Adam glared at him, and then started to laugh.
"I've seen your pathetic little school." He took a few steps so he was right in Philip's face. "Do you have my shit, Phil?"
Philip held his head high and didn't look away from Adam.
"No. We don't have anything. We tried."
Adam stared him down for what felt like an eternity before letting out another laugh and backing away from Philip. He shook his head while he continued to chuckle.
"This won't do," he whispered in a low voice. He was looking at the ground with a sadistic smile, and then looked back up to Philip.
"Everyone outside, NOW!" he yelled. The few Saviors that had followed Adam inside the school pointed their guns at us, and we all stood there terrified.
"Radio Negan!" Adam ordered his men. "Tell him that Doveport failed to provide."
We were led outside and forced to stand in a line. It was late, and the sun had set so there was very little light left. Philip was next to me on my right side, and Vivienne was on my left. I glanced down the line to see Amy and Eric were further down. They both looked as irritated as I was. I glared at Adam as he paced in front of us. He seemed to be trying to mirror Negan's actions.
"You had ONE JOB!" he shouted at us as the other community members were dragged out of the school and led over to the lineup. Everyone was incredibly silent as they joined us. We were constantly being tormented by these people, and it was getting old.
"You can't even do that! And so now you will be punished!" Adam scanned our faces as we all glared at him. Our defiance seemed to piss him off even more, and he looked over his shoulder back towards the school. He seemed to be focused on something, and when he turned back to us he had an evil grin plastered across his face.
"Dig up the garden. Take all the food," he ordered his men. I watched as Vivienne hung her head down at the realization her beloved garden was about to be raided.
"Wait! Don't do this!" Philip said, taking a few steps towards Adam. "Vivienne has worked so hard on it."
Adam shoved Philip to the ground and laughed at him as Philip struggled to stand again.
"Stupid old man," Adam spat.
"It's okay. They can take the food." Vivienne said, with her head hung low.
Unable to do anything, we watched as the Saviors went into the garden and started digging up all of the vegetables. Vivienne started to cry and the sound broke my heart. I had watched her work her ass off for months in that garden, only for them to take everything in minutes. One of the Saviors had carried over a box, and the others were tossing the produce into it. After everything was dug up, they turned and looked to Adam.
"Destroy it," Adam commanded in a low voice, glaring at Philip.
"No!" Vivienne cried out, looking up just as one of the Saviors tore one of the signs off a post. They began kicking the dirt around and destroying the little mesh fence that had ran along the garden. Adam laughed the entire time and put his hands on his knees, as if the sight was hilarious. Philip started to make his way over to stop the Saviors when Adam saw him. In a split second, Adam punched Philip in the face and knocked him onto the ground.
I ran to where Philip was laying, holding his face and had almost reached him when Adam pulled out his pistol and aimed it at me.
"Don't move," he threatened. "All of you get on your knees. It's time to accept your punishment."
I slowly lowered myself to the ground while still glaring up at Adam. The other Doveporters obeyed as well, and I knelt near Philip who had started to sit up, but was still holding his face. I saw blood was gushing out of his nose.
"We gave you the toolbox and all of our food! We don't have anything else to give!" Philip shouted out, and for the first time that day I heard anger in his voice.
Adam walked over to where Philip was now sitting up fully on his knees and pressed the pistol against Philip's forehead. Philip continued to look up at him defiantly. Adam glared down at him, and then smacked the gun across Philip's face hard, knocking Philip back to the ground.
"STOP!" I screamed, moving to go to Philip, but a Savior pointed a machine gun towards me. I watched as a line of blood rolled down the side of Philip's head and he didn't move from his place on the ground.
"GET UP!" Adam shouted, pointing the gun at where Philip was laying on the pavement. Philip slowly started to get back onto his knees, and I could see he was struggling to keep himself up. The sight was killing me, and I couldn't stand it anymore.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I shrieked as loud as I could, which made Adam turn and look at me. I clenched my fists at my sides.
Adam moved away from being in front of Philip and marched up to where I was kneeling. He got right up in my face and smiled wide.
"You're lucky you're Negan's pet," he hissed in my face.
"You're pathetic," I growled. It was taking every ounce of control I had not to get up and attack him. I felt my chest rise and fall heavy as we stared one another down. Adam continued to grin and nodded slowly as I glared at him. He lifted his hand and pointed the gun towards my forehead.
"Do you still wanna play leader, Elle?" he taunted, pushing the barrel into me. I raised my head so it pressed further into the gun.
"Philip is Doveport's leader," I uttered, my eyes still narrowed on his.
Adam grinned wide cocking the pistol.
"Not anymore."
I didn't have any time to react. It happened so fast, like a bolt of lightning striking the earth in a single instant. One second Adam was smiling in my face and I could feel the tip of the gun pressing against my skin, and the next his arm extended away from me, to the side. He turned his head to look…
And he pulled the trigger.
I turned to see Philip fall down onto his side, facing me—the gunshot wound right in his face—blood pooling out of the tiny little hole in his forehead—his eyes were wide and permanently open. They were fixed right on me as he laid there motionless.
I stared down in horror at his lifeless body—the body of my friend. I couldn't look away from Philip and barely heard the others start to sob behind me. I knew the Saviors were still pointing their guns—I knew that Adam was still standing right in front of me, but all I could do was look at Philip.
Just like that, he was gone.
Adam walked over to where the body was and crouched down by it.
"Should have gotten me my shit," he chuckled, and spat onto Philip's corpse.
I felt frozen in place, unable to move or even look away. My friend, the man who had taken us in and been such a light in this dark world, was dead.
I heard Adam start to laugh and pace in front of the others just as headlights flooded the front gate. I didn't look away from Philip, but could see a Savior was opening up the gate in my peripheral vision. The sun had finished setting, and it was completely dark now. The light from the trucks illuminated part of Philip's face, and I stared into his lifeless eyes.
"What the fuck is going on here?!" a familiar voice demanded.
Negan.
"Doveport didn't do their job, so I taught them a lesson they're NEVER gonna fucking forget," Adam informed him while laughing.
Negan came around the front so I could see him near Adam. He looked over to where I was kneeling on the ground next to Philip's body.
"You shot Baldy," Negan didn't sound sad, but disappointed.
Vivienne was bawling, and I could hear the others were crying too. I wanted to move—to say something, but all I could do was look into Philip's dead eyes.
I barely noticed Negan make his way over in front of me.
"Is that true, Elle? You didn't provide?" His voice was so calm and relaxed, as if he wasn't standing next to a corpse.
I couldn't answer him.
Negan waved a hand in front of my face, but I barely noticed the action.
I couldn't look away.
"Anyone gonna fucking answer me?!" he shouted, turning his attention on the other Doveporters.
"We tried to find supplies and we couldn't!" Vivienne wailed. "We gave up the garden and all our tools. And now… Phil… oh god Phil…" She sobbed even louder than before.
"Adam, is this true?" Negan inquired, turning to look at him.
"Yes, but it wasn't enough!" Adam exclaimed. His entire demeanor had changed once Negan showed up. He wasn't acting as cocky, and seemed to be trying to plead his case to his leader. "These pieces of shit were slacking!"
Negan came back in front, and I could tell he was staring down at me.
"I fuckin' liked Baldy." Negan said matter-of-factly. "You didn't have to fucking kill him."
"Y-you put me in charge!" Adam sputtered. "These motherfuckers had to pay! Why not take out the weak, old, piece of shit?" Negan's attention turned back to Adam as he spoke.
Maybe the shock started to wear off, or maybe his words struck a cord, but my head snapped up to look at Adam, and I felt my blood boil.
"You're a murderer!" I screamed. My sudden outburst made Negan look at me with a furrowed brow. I could hear the others were still crying, but all I felt was anger.
"So are you!" Adam yelled loud. "I know what you did to A.J. He may have been a son of a bitch, but he still mattered. You killed my friend, now I've taken away yours."
It didn't dawn on me until he finished speaking that he was referring to the man I had killed at the Sanctuary—the man that had tried to rape me, but then it made sense. Adam wanted revenge for me killing his friend. He had probably just been waiting for an excuse to hurt me, and today he had found it.
"Stand up, Elle," Negan ordered, but I ignored him and continued to scowl at Adam. I felt a hand grip one of my shoulders forcefully and pull me upwards. Negan was bringing me to my feet, but he wasn't hurting me. I continued to glower at Adam.
"Hold this," Negan instructed, placing something against my hand. I felt my fingers wrap around a handle—the baseball bat's handle. I didn't understand why he was giving it to me, but I wasn't focused on that. I didn't take my eyes off Adam.
Negan walked over to where Philip's body was slouched onto the ground. He bent over and studied the corpse and the bullet wound as if to make sure Philip wasn't going to come back as a walker. I didn't realize at the time, but it was why he handed me the bat—so he had both hands free. He turned the body over so that Philip was no longer looking at me, and then stood up straight again.
"A.J. was a mother-fucking rapist, piece-of-fucking shit and deserved to die," Negan snapped at Adam. Adam watched Negan with a sad look on his face, but didn't argue with him. "I put you in charge because I thought you could handle it."
"I can handle it, sir," Adam replied. "Especially now that the stupid old man is dead."
I looked back over to Philip's body that was no longer facing me and was now unable to look into his eyes. I couldn't believe he was gone. It didn't feel real.
None of it felt fucking real.
"Everyone here respects you, Negan. They didn't start kissing your ass until you killed that stupid gatekeeper. Now that I've killed the bald bastard, maybe they'll learn their place," Adam explained. He watched as Negan started to walk around and looked down at the other Doveporters.
"What exactly was your problem with Baldy that you gotta have a dick measuring competition with the guy?" Negan demanded, crossing his arms and stopping across the way from me. Adam turned his back on me to face Negan.
"He was a weak, horrible leader! He's doing more for us rotting on the ground than when he was running shit. That old man was worthless."
Weak—
Philip had been the strongest of all of us.
Horrible—
He had given us a home.
Worthless—
His friendship had meant everything to me.
Those words—all of it. Every little insult upon Philip made something inside me snap.
I didn't think. I didn't hesitate. I felt my grip on the baseball bat tighten, and I sprinted at Adam.
All the anger—the sadness—every bit of rage I was feeling was unrestrained, and I screamed as I ran towards him. Lifting the bat up above my head and to the side, I swung as hard as I could.
It was absolutely silent when the bat connected with the side of Adam's head. As I pulled the bat back up again, blood rolled down from the puncture wounds where the barbed wire had dug into his flesh. He remained standing a few seconds before he toppled to the ground. I raised the bat high and brought it down again.
And then again.
And again.
And again.
I continued to hit him over and over—blood sprayed all over me as I bashed his head in continuously. I watched as it turned to mush beneath me, and still I swung the bat.
I don't know how many times I hit him, but eventually I couldn't swing anymore and I stopped and clung to the wooden bat tightly, the end of it was covered in mangled skin. His head was crushed; bits of bone and flesh were mashed together where it used to be and his lifeless corpse laid stomach down on the blood soaked ground.
I was breathing heavy as I finally stopped, and then froze as the realization of what I had done hit me. Shock took over once again, and I stared at Adam's body, waiting for the sound of gunfire to take me out.
But it never came.
The silence was deafening. I thought maybe time had froze, until I felt a large hand come up against mine and ever so slowly remove the baseball bat from my grasp. Negan was standing next to me and pressed his head against my hair.
"We're even now," he whispered low, so only I could hear him.
Even?
I didn't understand what he meant. Those three words replayed in my head, and I tried to make sense of what he just told me. And then I understood it:
A life for a life.
Philip was dead.
And now, so was Adam.
I stared down in disbelief, shocked at what I had done.
"That was one HELL of a fucking show!" Negan exclaimed, backing away from me and looking down at what was left of Adam. "Lucille loves it when ladies play with her. Damn Elle, I think I'm in love!"
Love.
The word made me look up at him. How could he joke around right now? How could he have enjoyed this?
Negan was looking right at me, and his expression was one of pride.
He was proud of me.
This was his plan all along. He had placed that dreaded bat into my hands. He had egged Adam on. He wanted me to do this.
Finally, I looked at the others—the Saviors that looked shocked and confused—and my friends, who were all staring at me in total shock and fear.
Fear of me.
I felt bile rise in my throat as I took in their terrified expressions just as Negan's voice grabbed my attention again.
"Elle is in charge again, unless anyone has any objections!" Negan said chuckling. "Though something fucking tells me none of you are gonna fight her after that." He walked up to me, and I felt my hands start to shake. I looked back over to Philip's body, and then down at Adam's.
Negan brushed a strand of hair away from my face.
"Bury Baldy. Say some prayers, or whatever. Then it's time to get back to work."
His voice was so cold, that I looked up at him and felt my eyes start to water. I killed Adam—the second person I killed. But this wasn't like the first time. That first time I had killed in self defense. This was something else.
This was just plain murder.
I continued to stare into Negan's eyes and felt tears welling up in my own. He lifted a gloved hand and caressed my cheek.
"Beautiful," he whispered, tilting my face up towards him. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he let go of my face and turned away.
"Same time next week then?"
I turned to look at him, and felt tears start to spill down my face. Negan looked at me one last time, and just as before, that sympathetic look was etched onto his features, but this time it was even briefer than the previous one.
"Move out!" he ordered. Within seconds, the Saviors were loading into their trucks, same as always, and pulling away.
Except it wasn't the same.
Even after they were long gone, no one moved. I stood in front of Adam's body and stared off into space, wanting so bad to wake up from this horrendous nightmare.
I wanted Philip back.
I needed this not to be real.
"Elle?" a soft voice came from behind me, and I felt a hand on my shoulder that made me flinch. I looked over to the side to see Amy was standing near me. She looked so scared, so unsure. I was supposed to be her best friend, and she was looking at me like I was a monster.
I looked back over to Philip's body and then closed my eyes.
Oh god, what have I done?