No beta- so sorry for any mistakes! Once again, I am splitting the chapter into installments because I have been stuck in the middle of this chapter for a while now.

Chapter section theme: Boo you whore.

JK!

Chapter section theme: The distraction game. Please enjoy this next installment of the Phoenix & thanks for reading!

Chapter 17

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at the screen on my cell phone. Thus far I had attempted calling Jess three times. Each attempt went straight to her voicemail. My thumb wavered over the button to redial. I inhaled a long, exaggerated breath as I reflected on my hesitation. My cheeks puffed out as I mulled over the two possibilities of why I was sent straight to voicemail.

In her ire at my announcement via text I was not returning to Forks anytime soon, Jess blocked my phone number. Given her hot headed tendencies, this was plausible.

It was that, or her phone was off. But that seemed highly unlikely. Jess prided herself in always having a charged phone on hand and ready to answer a call or text. One could pass it off as being addicted to technology, but I had a sneaking suspicion it stemmed from how the news was broke to her of her dad dying. So, in case of an emergency with a friend or family, she would always be ready to support.

I released the breath I was holding with a heavy heart. It was obvious.

She blocked me.

Paul had imprinted.

I was just getting the shit end of the deals with all the important relationships in my life, and worst of all I knew it was of my own doing. I must now lay in the bed I made for myself.

I tossed my phone on the bed before kneeling to the ground. I cradled my head in my hands as I rested my elbows on the firm mattress. I had no tears left to cry today, they had already been spent- no, wasted- on Paul. My heart thudded dully in my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to erase whatever useless thoughts were toying with my emotions. Again.

"What is with the dramatics?"

My shoulders tensed. His voice was a mix of amusement and something else. I picked up my head and turned around, still on my knees, to face Garrett. I swallowed; it was impossible to hide how cautious I was being in this encounter. Only four days had passed since our failed mission, but the time seemed to have stretched on forever as Garrett was absent in our normal training sessions. Peyton had replaced him.

To be honest, I had not expected to see him so soon at least until Carl's funeral tomorrow. While I wasn't sure if Garrett and Carl were considered close, he seemed to take on the burden that he made the bad judgement call of taking me on the mission. A small sliver of me was certain he must blame me for Carl's death. I had botched the mission by being the weakest link when the surprise attack had occurred. I was the liability that Jack had warned me I could be. And he was right.

Jack, the brutal bastard, had made sure I would not forget that in our morning training sessions since the failed mission. No days off to grieve. And I took the punishing workouts without protest because he was right.

Jack was right and that very notion sickened me.

I knew I would not always be this way. So, I would endure every drill, every bruise and ounce of blood shed on the training grounds with him. I would become stronger.

"Hi." It was a simple greeting because I struggled with how to respond to his loaded question. We lost an Order member. Because of me. Wouldn't I deserve to be dramatic in my alone time to grieve and punish myself over his death? Though when he walked in my thoughts had not been on Carl. But that grief for him was not erased because of my friend drama. I am just alternating between different emotional struggles at the moment. And saying sorry to Garrett wouldn't cover it- not like he would accept it anyways.

To help alleviate the awkward air hovering between us as I waited for his response, I picked myself up off my knees and sat on my bed.

Garrett stared me down, my eyes never leaving his face as I made myself comfortable.

Another minute passed and I had lost the staring contest by three times at this point. But alas, I would always be the loser being human and all.

"So…" I prompted, because I refused to lead the conversation when he was the one who showed up in my room.

"What is with the dramatics?" he repeated, his annoyance now apparent.

I scowled before sticking my fist in the air. I hesitated from lifting my middle finger because in light of recent events, it seemed a tad inappropriate. I huffed, lowering my fist, and giving a minute nod to myself in appreciation of my maturity.

"Bella," Garrett pressed, sounding more irritated. Which was fair given I had yet to answer him. I regarded his appearance, he seemed neat. Put together. His hair was combed out of his face and his angular features were on display given the clean shave he was sporting. It was not his usual look. The top two buttons of his dark blue button up were undone, showing of a fraction of his pale chest, and he was wearing…khakis. This was just weird.

I regrettably recalled my own unkept appearance in the first few days after Charlie had died. Everyone reacts differently with grief. Perhaps he needed a distraction. I would give him that in the form of revealing how I was the shitty friend everyone discarded when they realized how shitty I was.

"Trust me, they are well deserved, Garrett," I bemoaned, falling back on my bed. I arched my right arm over to the space next to me, patting my invitation for him to join me.

I bit back my smile as he went for the bait and joined me on the bed. He sat facing the doorway, but it was better than nothing.

"My best friends have dumped me." I didn't sugarcoat it. But I also chose not to elaborate, realizing too late anything else would have been better to say… given how we just lost Carl.

"Took them long enough."

My fist rammed into his left shoulder before I could even process my reaction.

"Ow!" I groaned, reeling back my damaged fist to support against my chest. "Bastard," I seethed under my breath. "I can't even say you deserved that since you didn't feel it."

Garrett chuckled and for a second, my pain appeared to be worth it.

"Seriously, that was mean."

"You risked consequences with the actions you took when coming here," he replied matter-of-factly.

"No shit, sherlock."

"How original, Bella," Garrett crooned.

"Fuck you." I pursed my lips after cursing at him. "Damn it, Garrett. Be nice," I insisted. It was aggravating how quickly my thoughtful support for him diminished and instead I was the one needing kindness and care. Though momentarily forgotten, fissures began to burst from the tiny hole in my heart from Paul and Jessica's permanent removal from my life.

I sat upright on the bed, ignoring Garrett. My hands at my side began to shake and flutter. Their unsteadiness disturbed me.

"Leave," I ordered Garrett in a low, taut voice. I would not let him see me break down over people that were still alive after we just lost Carl. I clenched my eyes, attempting to combat the feelings that were beginning to smother me. "Please," I amended my demand in a soft voice.

"Hey, you don't just have them. Me. I am here for you too, Bella. It is not just you against the world. I am on your team."

Garrett's words cracked open my chest and my misery seemed to pour out endlessly from that little hole. But my friend held me together as I let it all out. Wrapped in hid cold arms against my bed, I sobbed into his chest. Despite my own sorrow, it didn't go unnoticed by me that Garrett had shed a few tears too. I was only aware of them as they dropped on my forehead. Perhaps they were for Carl, but I never asked as we both mourned different losses.

…

I woke up the next morning tucked in my bed. Not alone though. Garrett was sitting at the edge of my bed, holding onto Bulat. I was still sifting through the morning fog in my mind, but I swear before he looked over to me his expression held disappointment.

Before I could open my mouth to speak he informed me, "Carl's funeral has been postponed. His mother suffered a heart attack last night."

I gaped at a loss for words for how much heartbreak his family must be suffering through. I sagged back further into my pillow, unable to stop the tears filling my eyes. My heart was hurting for them.

"Are you interested in rekindling your friendships with those you left behind?" He studied my face while I blinked away my tears in bewilderment. The change in conversation blindsided me a bit.

Accepting the distraction though, I snorted before looking away from Garrett. "I burned those bridges when I left. Like you said, I knew coming here could bring consequences and now I have paid the piper," I reminded him. After last night, I was ready to close that chapter in my book.

"You sure about that?" he questioned. I turned back to snap at Garrett, but the words died in my throat before I could unleash my fury. Out of the corner of my eye, a petite brunette popped in the open doorway to my bedroom.

"Jess?!" I cried, rapidly blinking to confirm my eyes weren't playing a trick on me and what I was seeing was a manifestation of my subconscious brought upon the delirium of emotional stress.

"You bitch! I can't believe you didn't tell me you were coming here!" The brazen voice. The glinting ocean blue eyes. In my wildest dreams, it couldn't even compare. It was her. This bitch was real. I leapt off the bed and wrapped my arms around her, snuggling her face in the crook of my neck.

"You're here. How? Why? And...Quil?!" I pulled away a few inches and began to whip my head around her shoulders, searching for a wolfy escort to pop up in the hallway behind her. I could not deny I was excited to see him too. And secretly, foolishly or more absurdly wondered if Paul had tagged along.

God I missed them. Too much. Horrifyingly so if last night revealed anything to me.

"Fuck the boys. You think they would have let me come here? Quil would have handcuffed me to him if he knew I was flying here." She gave me a toothy grin before parting her teeth and sticking her tongue out at me.

I never knew such joy in the simplicity of having Jess standing in front of me and ragging on the Pack. In this joy, I missed when Garrett slipped out of the room. I gave him kudos for his stealthy style in not interrupting this precious moment for us.

Jessica took a step back from me and her grin shifted into a deep frown that I knew I deserved. A small crease indented in her forehead as she delivered me a glare that would turn anyone's blood cold.

"I told you at graduation I wanted adventures with you before the summer was over. How the hell were you not going to invite me for this one?" She asked, her words strained as I heard and understood her pain. Yet before I could answer her, I had to understand how she came to be here.

"How are you"-

"Save it, Bella," she interrupted. "I got a letter too. Later then you, obviously. But I'm piggybacking off your invitation as your plus one." Jessica arched her eyebrows, seemingly daring me to challenge this assertion. Recalling I was extended to invite three other guests, Quil popped in my mind as I looked at Jess. A surge of memories flooded into my mind of the importance of the imprint bond based on my own observations with the pack and what Paul had told me. Quil was the main reason I did not invite Jess. I chose to be 'selfless' and let Quil have Jessica. But thinking on it, her choosing to be here and actually being here…who was I to deny her?

"Where does Quil think you are?"

"I can't go out. *cough* *cough* I'm sick." Despite myself, I smirked at Jessica's spot-on impersonation of Karen from Mean Girls.

"Boo, you whore. Or did Quil say something more gentlemanly?" I joked.

Jessica rolled her eyes after flicking her hair over her shoulder. "Ever the gentleman, he offered to take care of me. But I let him off the hook."

"You let him off the hook because you were covering for the fact you were coming here. Don't think he will be too keen on that when he learns the truth. Which probably has already happened. The guys are…kind of creepers. I mean they do mean well behind the whole 'I am a protector' bit, but they like mad stalk their imprints. In wolf form, he could be watching you outside the house." I shuttered at the thought of it and did not envy any imprints. Even…Paul's.

"Quil doesn't. I caught him once and I laid into him about how uncool that was. I think I really frightened him. By the end of my speech, he looked like he was a fricken puppy I just kicked for doing nothing wrong. But I didn't give in. He agreed not to do that and have boundaries. Me being able to fly out of Seattle proves he actually listened to me." Jess patted me on the shoulder, and I couldn't break my stare on her face. It was obvious she was back to her normal hell raiser Jess self. A part of me worried I was getting off too easy with her, or perhaps she was holding more of her disappointment and resentment towards me in. Only to boil over later.

However, I was too much of a coward to confront those possibilities and just accepted I could apologize and the hatchet was buried. Jess and Bella were back on track. The apology I owed Jessica was on its way out.

"I am sorry, Jess. I felt like I owed it to Quil to not be selfish and come here on my own. I didn't want to interfere more with the imprint bond than I already had," I choked out, omitting that wasn't the whole reason. It was enough for now though.

A soft smile touched her lips and she nodded in understanding. "I figured as much once I read the letter and finally understood what you were really up to out here. It's okay. I am here now. And I totally get it," she sighed, retrieving her cell phone from the front pocket of her jeans. I eyed the phone she palmed and waved around in front of her face. "I do not look forward turning this back on and hearing from Quil. I will save that headache for another time," she moaned, throwing the phone on my bed.

"So, bitch, which room is mine or are we bunking together?" I roared a full belly laugh before dragging her down the hallway to show her the female corridors. But I still noted the hurt that briefly flashed in her eyes before she spoke. Telling me what I knew to be true. I let her down with the decision I had made.

Author's Note: It has been a minute, right? I have been stuck with the middle of ch 17 and still waiting for a breakthrough to tie my plot together! But Jessica IZ back! :D Any of you see that coming so soon? I wasn't sure when to bring her in, in my earliest version she joined Bella when Sleaving Forks after graduation. Anyways, I am happy to be writing for her character again, but her and Bella have some friendship mending to do as hinted at the end of this chapter…

In the next installment of the PHX, Jess will get a taste of her own training with the order and the wolves are a hot topic of discussion! : O

~Lalaland972

P.s. If you have followed me as an author before when I posted my other stories 2019-2020, I am updating this one at a MUCH slower pace. I plan to finish. It will just take time. If you feel like reviewing, sometimes that encourages me to find the push to figure out plot. Otherwise I will figure it out in my own time :)