I spent the morning at school with Sofia, it was career day and she wanted to show and tell about her mommies being doctors. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for Sofia, Arizona was unable to make it.

Almost all the students brought a parent/caregiver, some brought two and some brought grandparents instead. There were a range of different careers. There were engineers, builders, CEO's, nurses, biologists, mechanics, accountants, HR managers, vets and all sorts of other honourable jobs. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to all the presentations while also getting the chance to present myself. I told the students all about saving lives, the crazy hours that come with it but how rewarding it was at the end of the day.

Morning tea came around and most of the parents stayed to eat. I sat on the deck with Sofia as she ate her chopped up apples and played with her friends. We spent some time on the playground, she played, I watched. The bell rung and I was forced to say my goodbyes. I hugged Sofia goodbye and kissed her head tightly. "I'll pick you up after school" I called out as she ran with her friends back towards the classroom. It amazed me constantly how quickly she was growing up. It saddened me because my little girl was growing up but I couldn't wait to see what was in store for her.

I didn't have work till 1 but I did have an appointment with the good doctor at 11:30. She already knew all about Arizona's special visit and I assumed she would want to talk more about that. Heck, I wanted to talk more about that. We hadn't seen each other since that night which gave me a chance to sort through my feelings and decide how to proceed from there.

Dr Porter called me into her office and as usual it smelled of pine cones and looked perfectly clean. Did they clean between every session? I pushed that ridiculous thought to the back of my head and I sat in the same spot I sat in every week.

"Morning Dr Torres" Porter said as she sat down in the seat opposite me, swung her left leg over her right and rested a clip board on her lap. "How was your morning. You had career day with your daughter if I remember correctly."

"It was fun. It was nice to spend some time with Sofia." A large grin spread across my face. This morning was one of those moments you would always remember. I would remember how proud of me she was when she introduced me. I would remember the big hug she gave me after I presented and I would remember her smile and her friends as they danced around the playground happily. The whole morning was perfect.

"I'm glad you had a nice time…. So, what's new with you?" she asked.

"Well, work has been kinda quiet so I've just been spending time with Sofia and focusing on my research which is a nice change. I'm feeling better this week" I admitted.

"What about Arizona. Have you talked to her at all?" I shook my head.

"Have you thought much about what she said to you?"

"What would you do if your husband told you that during your marriage he wanted to kill himself?" I asked Dr Porter.

"Do you really think that's how she meant it?" Porter responded.

"I don't know but either way my wife wanted to end her life and I had zero idea about it."

Silence loomed as the doctor scribbled some things on her notepad. I watched as she flicked back to what was probably last week's session. The doctor looked up at me and smiled. "Last week I asked you if you could see a world where you and Arizona are together again and you said you didn't know. You've had a week to calm down. How about now?"

I crossed my arms across my chest as I pondered her question. I had been pondering it all week in anticipation of this question, but still I didn't have a clear answer. "Well, I love her. I'm not sure I'll ever stop loving her. I think I'll struggle to trust her again after everything that has happened so I'm not sure."

"Well…." The doc said. "I think when Arizona came to you and she told you all those things she has been keeping from you that was her way of saying she understands that she has broken your trust and she still thinks there is a chance for you guys to move forward."

I nodded in understanding, "And I recognize that but I still can't trust it. I want to I think. I want to trust her and I want things to work out for us because my happiest memories are with her but I'm not sure we can ever build that trust again."

"Maybe next week Arizona could join us" Dr Porter suggested.

I took her suggestion under my belt and we continued to chat. We finished the session off talking mostly about Arizona with a few conversations here and there about Sofia and work. It was always just a nice conversation to have. Instead of writing it all down in a stupid journal I could actually tell a real person that was paid to care about my problems. When I thought about it that way it seemed depressing. Sadly, therapy was often my favourite hour of the week.

Later that day I went up to the paediatrics floor and I scoped the floor for Arizona. I thought maybe we could have a civilized chat. Or I hoped we could keep it civilized.

I found Arizona in the NICU running some tests on a new born. I watched for a moment before she noticed my presence. Arizona hung her stethoscope around her neck then documented that last test on the chart before letting the NICU nurse know she was leaving.

"Hey" I said nervously as she stepped outside. "Do you think we could talk?" I asked curiously.

Arizona seemed shocked to hear that I wanted anything to do with her after how our last conversation went. "Yeah, my office?" Arizona suggested. I nodded and follow her to her office.

I stepped into her office, it was so familiar to me. We had so many great memories in here. The room still smelt like her and it was still so intoxicating. "Do you want to sit?" Arizona asked me. I decided it was a good idea and I sat on the seat beside Arizona's desk. Arizona pulled her chair out from behind the desk so this didn't seem so official. She pulled the chair out in front of me and sat herself down.

After an awkward silence Arizona finally piped up, "How was school this morning? Again, sorry I couldn't make it."

"It was good actually. I really enjoyed spending the morning with her" I said a slight smile crept onto my face. "I just came from Dr Porter" I admitted.

"Oh. Did you. Did you tell her about…." She paused "did you tell her about the other night. About us?" she asked.

"We talked about it" I confessed. "She said that she thinks your visit was you trying to acknowledge everything that has happened so that we had a chance to move forward."

"I broke up with Kate" she blurted out. "I told her about us."

"Why did you come see me the other night? I want you to be honest with me. I don't want you to beat around the bush. I just want to know why now. Why did you come see me now?" I asked. I was desperate to know the answer to my question. She had the past two years to tell me truth, why now?

Arizona was just about to respond when there was a knock at the door. She sighed. "Who is it?" she asked impatiently.

"Karev"

"Come in" I called after him as I stood to my feet and headed for the door.

Karev opened the door and noted my presence. "Ooh sorry, am I interrupting?"

"Yeah. What is it? Is it important?" she asked. Arizona gave him a look that Karev understood as get lost now.

"Actually, I'll just come find you later. It's not that important." He lied as he closed the door behind him and disappeared.

Arizona returned to her seat and rested her hands on her knees. "Honestly, besides the fact I'm an asshole, I thought you were better off without me. I caused you so much pain and I hated doing that to you knowing all you did was bring me happiness. I thought letting you go would give you the chance to be happy. I hated every second of yours and Penny's relationship. I hated watching you kiss. I hated it when you brought her to our events. I hated it when you said you were moving in with her. I thought that was it. You had found someone else. Part of me was happy. I was happy you were happy but part of me wished that person could have been me. I don't know if you love me anymore, I don't know if I can be the person that makes you happy but I know you are my person. You are the one that makes me happy and if there is a chance I could be that for you I didn't want to let it pass us by."

"Dr Porter suggested we do a session together next week." I stated in response. I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't saying no, but I wasn't ready to say yes either.

"If that's what you want I'll do it" Arizona said. "What are you thinking Calliope?"

"I'm scared I'm going to get hurt again. In all honesty I don't trust you one bit. I want to because.." Callie stopped for a moment as she took a deep breath. "I love you, you know that. Up until last week all I wanted was you. But maybe you were right. We cause each other more harm than good."

"I know I don't deserve one but can you give me a chance to prove to you that this time is different. I'm all in Callie. I want to date you. I want to start again. I want to pick you and take you out for dinner. I want to drop you off and have that awkward moment where you're not sure if you should kiss. I want all that and I want it with you. Please. Just dinner. Dinner and a movie and I'll drop you home." Arizona begged. Arizona had no other options left but to beg.

I thought about it for a moment but somewhere along the way I had stopped thinking and I had started nodding. "Dinner. It's not a date. It's just dinner. As for Dr Porter I think it would be good for me. I want to trust you again and this is the only way I see it happening" I explained to her.

Arizona grinned as I stood up. Her eyes followed me before she too got up. "Great." She said as we both looked at one another. "So are we trying?" Arizona asked looking for some sort of conformation. "We are trying" I repeated as I exited Arizona's office.

I'm not sure what I went in looking for but I came out feeling far better than I did when I walked in. Everyone has that person that they love so much they can't imagine their life without them. For me, that person is Arizona.