Poker Face
"I'm just saying it's strange." B'Elanna irritably pushed a few chairs around Tom's quarters while Tom and Harry set up the chips.
It was poker night and they were just waiting for the rest of the players to appear. A larger table had been brought in and the regular furniture pushed aside to make room for everyone. It was potluck so the snacks would be provided by the other players. It was a tradition started primarily because Tom was always losing his rations in bets or for infractions so when he hosted, everyone simply brought their own treats.
Tom shrugged, not really minding the additional player. "Maybe she wants to learn something new."
"Wouldn't poker be irrelevant?"
With a laugh, Tom nodded. "If you have a problem with her joining us, you don't have to sit near her."
"It's not that."
The door buzzed.
"Enter," Tom called. The doors opened. "Ah, Chief, what have you brought for us tonight?"
Chakotay smiled as Tom rubbed his hands together and took the covered dish from him. "Nothing elaborate today, Tom. I've been growing jalapenos and made poppers."
Harry eyed the dish with interest. "Oooh, I love those."
"Better this than what the Captain tried to pass off as dry ribs last time," said Tom.
Chakotay laughed. The ribs had certainly been dry, more like charcoal. "So, what are you talking about?"
"B'Elanna doesn't want Seven to join us." Tom, already chewing on one of Chakotay's jalapenos answered with a cheerful bluntness that earned him a smack in the side from B'Elanna.
B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "I'm just asking why now. She's never shown an interest in joining us before."
Harry straightened up, finished with the chips. "Maybe she's lonely," he said quietly.
B'Elanna snorted, but Tom gave the suggestion credence, nodding.
"We don't really know what Unimatrix Zero was like," Harry continued. He had thought about it a fair bit, wondering how the drones lived. "It would be torture to be trapped in a dream world, to know what your body was doing but be unable to act independently."
B'Elanna shivered. "Horrible."
"True," said Tom. "Can you imagine?"
B'Elanna shook her head, thankful she was now whole and healed from their brush with the Borg. If nothing else, their experience had given her a new appreciation for the victims of the Collective, even Seven. She shuddered, remembering the heartless Borg ship, the feeling of her body invaded with technology, the call of the Collective the Doctor's inhibitors had not been able to fully drive away. It seemed a miracle they had pulled off what they did. It was just as much a miracle that any of the former drones had survived what they did.
"But then Seven didn't remember it," Harry continued, "and suddenly she's confronted with everything and everyone she forgot when Voyager disconnected her from the Collective. It would be a whole new life and self-awareness you didn't have before. You'd wonder who you really were and what it means to be yourself, what else you couldn't remember, not to mention the people you used to live with. What if you had friends you forgot, family, lovers…"
"Harry?" Tom hid a smirk.
Harry looked up, realizing he'd been speaking aloud without filtering his thoughts. He blushed. "I – I mean, how would it feel?"
B'Elanna tried to laugh it off and Tom chuckled, but Chakotay hid his deep disconcertion by busying himself straightening napkins and utensils that were all perfectly set. Harry's thoughts were insightful and things Chakotay had also considered, but he hadn't expected to hear them just then. Lovers… The thought was irksome, but he refused to acknowledge why.
"Well," said Harry, "just think about it. You think you know your whole life, which all falls into a perfect little compartment and then one day everything you think you know about yourself turns out to be false."
"It's not like she's been faking an identity, Harry," said B'Elanna. She sat down with a weary sigh.
"No, but if the human part of her grew up in Unimatrix Zero with other individuals, it stands to reason she would have developed differently. If she grew up like a normal child with others like her, she could have been a totally different person. You have to wonder what she was like in there."
B'Elanna shrugged, but the truth was that she too had wondered. Her short time as a drone had opened up a world of questions she'd been trying to avoid answering ever since. She had been a drone. If it weren't for their plan and the Doctor's skills, she could have been as willing a participant in the Collective as Seven used to be. She could too easily have been a murderer, have believed that following the single, unifying voice of the Collective towards their version of perfection was good. That thought was disturbing and made it painfully difficult to judge Seven as harshly as she had previously been prone to do. Not that she was going to let onto that. Borg pride had to be kept in check after all!
The door chimed again and they were soon joined by the rest of their group, eight people in total. The group, in order around the table, consisted of Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Vorik, Megan Delany, Chakotay, Seven of Nine, and Ensign Johannson.
Though Seven had never played poker before, she was relieved to hear that Megan Delany hadn't either. Ensign Johannson claimed to only be a passable player as well. These confessions did nothing to dampen the group's spirits. It was, after all, only a friendly night together.
Vorik, who Tom said had a killer poker face, offered to assist Megan.
This was somewhat to Harry's disappointment and he was too far away to assist Seven.
Chakotay, however, spoke up a little too quickly with an offer to teach her.
Seven tried to wave the Commander's offer off with the assurance that she had assimilated enough Starfleet officers to know the basics of the game, but he was equally confident in his persuasion that reading the book was different from practicing the sport.
An hour into the game and they had all settled into a comfortable swing.
"I'll raise you ten." Vorik threw in his chips.
Megan frowned over her cards. "I'm out," she said uncertainly.
Chakotay looked over at Seven's cards, which she held at an angle for him to review. Out of necessity – I'm just trying to help her along – Chakotay and Seven had scooted their chairs closer together, close enough that their arms and legs occasionally touched. He thought a moment. He made a decision, but she pre-empted him.
"I'll see your bet and raise you another ten."
Tom, who had already opted out of the round, raised his brow, suddenly struck with amusement at the thought of a poker showdown between a Vulcan and a Borg drone.
Chakotay, for his part, wondered if she was indeed picking up the rules and nuances of the game faster than he expected or gave her credit for, or if she had read his mind. Though she continued to give him access to view her cards, she hadn't needed his suggestions since the first two hands.
Seven may not have been adept at reading nuances of human thoughts and emotions yet, but she had watched enough of Commander Chakotay's body language during the first two rounds to be sufficiently certain what he was going to suggest when he looked at her cards. She knew the rules well enough, had reviewed them not an hour before attending the game, but the nuances of the other players were somewhat mysterious to her. Here she relied on his judgement and her observations of him. She noticed and mentally logged the turn of the corner of his lips, the widening or narrowing of his eyes, the set of his shoulders as he analyzed the options and advised her.
A thigh brushed her own, causing Seven to lose her concentration. She shuffled away, certain the contact must be a rude annoyance to the Commander and yet… Seven had accidentally touched arms or legs with the Commander several times already. If he'd found it uncomfortable, he could have moved back, but he didn't. In fact, he seemed to close the gaps she put between them every time one of these physical glances occurred.
Axum used to do that. The thought was unbidden and immediately painful despite her attempt to quash it. Only vague impressions and feelings of her original time in Unimatrix Zero had surfaced so far, but they were enough for her to have these moments of déjà vu.
Unlike Seven, Chakotay had not lost his focus, but the greater point of his attention had shifted to the small patch of skin that felt warmer despite the teasingly short contact between his leg and Seven's. He tried to shake himself into paying attention again, but the innocent touch was enough to consume him. He leaned in under the pretense of looking more closely at her cards, but it was a lie he told even to himself, and a sad one at that. It wasn't even as though they were touching skin on skin.
Needless to say, Seven and Chakotay lost the round. Vorik collected his chips, somehow making emotionlessness look smug.
They played another game, calling their night done when Harry began to yawn widely.
"No, no, don't stop playing on my account." Harry's jaw cracked with the force of his yawn, but the others had already stood and begun quickly tidying up the space.
"Naw, I think we could all probably do with an early night," said Tom. He drew his arm around B'Elanna, who was looking particularly drowsy herself. "Want to just leave this stuff until tomorrow, honey?"
B'Elanna normally didn't like to leave clutter, but she was exhausted. She agreed with a sigh and nod. Despite her tiredness, she stood to show their guests out. Seven, quicker than the others, was the first ready to leave, but she hesitated at the door, stopping to speak with B'Elanna.
"Are you still feeling the affects of your assimilation, Lieutenant?" Seven's question was asked in her usual bluntness, but those who knew her better recognized the real concern in her eyes.
"A little," B'Elanna admitted. "At least I don't have a clamp on my spine anymore, but I swear I can still feel those nanoprobes crawling on my skin."
"Nanoprobes would be contained to your bloodstream and Borg –" she stopped, catching herself. "I thought the Doctor said you would make a full recovery."
B'Elanna smiled, regretting her exaggeration in the face of Seven's concern. "Yes, I will. The Doctor says the last of the nanoprobes will filter out of my body naturally."
"I am glad to hear it." She ducked her head, clearly searching for appropriate words. "I want to thank you."
B'Elanna was taken aback. "For what?"
"For risking your individuality and your life. It was very selfless and brave." Without more than a brief nod to the somewhat stunned Lieutenant, Seven took her share of the soiled trays and left swiftly.