"That's really weird."

"Yes, Ron, I know."

"Like, wrong-sick weird."

"Yes, Ron, I know."

"It's the weirdest thing-.."

"YES RON, I KNOW!" Kim's temper finally broke. "You've been saying that, on repeat, for the last hour!"

"Sorry KP!" Ron waved his hands in front of his face. "I just… Shego and Drakken?"

"I know, right?" She was still having trouble with it herself. The 'how's and 'why's were running through her head as fast as they came. It was all so… Random. Just that morning she'd been Kim Possible, daughter of James and Anne Possible. Now? She was Kim Possible, biological daughter of Dr Drakken and Shego…

"It's just so wei-.."

"RON!"

"Yikes, okay, I get it!" He coughed and said, "So, ah, wanna hear about how my day was going…?"

Kim smiled, glad for something normal to grab on to. "Yeah, I do."

In what felt like the blink of an eye, they were at the island lair that Drakken and Shego called home. It was almost scary now, looking at the place, and them, with fresh eyes. A man who hated the world enough to try and take it over for his own sick purposes and a woman who was so indifferent to everything that she was okay helping him.

...did she really want to go through with this?

"Ron?" She swallowed as she landed at the base of the island, at the start of the path up to their lair. "I think I'm getting cold feet…"

"I didn't ask you to marry me!" he suddenly shouted.

Kim stared.

"Erm, I mean, don't?"

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks for the encouragement."

"No problem-o, KP!"

Had Ron always been this annoying?

...what was wrong with her? Ron wasn't annoying… He's probably just as flustered as she was.

"Well…" No reason to keep sitting there, doing nothing. "Let's go."

It didn't take long to walk up the path. To her surprise, it wasn't boobytrapped. It was just weird. Did they get visitors often enough to not warrant traps?

They stopped once they reached the door. It was a plain steel door, with a doorknob and everything. Even had a doorbell.

Kim breathed in, then out. She could do this.

Heedless of her thoughts, Ron pressed the doorbell.

A few moments passed. Then…

"Go away!" Drakken's voice sounded from inside. "We don't want any cookies."

"Cookies…?" Kim tilted an eyebrow. What in the world did that mean?

"We don't have any cookies, Drakken!" Ron shouted, banging on the door. "We wanna talk with you!"

"Who is-.." Drakken burst the door open and stared at the two teens. Frowning, his forehead sloped downwards as he said, "Oh. It's you two." He snorted. "What do you want? Can't you tell we're busy?"

"Not really," the blond shrugged, trying to strongarm his way past Drakken. The blue man resisted, giving Ron the stink eye.

"Who said you could come in? We aren't even doing anything!"

"But you just said you were busy," Ron pointed out. "How can you be doing nothing and be busy at the same time?"

"Good point…" Kim said, dropping into mission mode. There was definitely something going on here.

"Nnnnngh…" He grunted and grumbled for a few moments, flowers bursting from his neck. "GAH!" Peeling them off, he growled, "Fine! If you're going to be like that I might as well let you in before you try busting the door down…" Drakken halfway turned, still blocking the door, and shouted, "SHEGO! We have visitors! Kim Possible and… Ah…" he sputtered "that one guy."

Kim forced her way by Drakken and stomped her way into the lair.

Inside, she gaped.

Shego was swiftly and not-so-silently destroying what looked to be a table, two chairs, some romantic accompaniments, and the remains of dishes and food

"You idiot!" Shego yelled, lighting the rest of it on fire with her powers. "Why didn't you distract them more!?"

"I'm the idiot? Who didn't set everything on fire in the first place!" he shot back.

"Oh hey! Big long candles! Don't see those much anymore!" Ron said as he skipped over and sifted through the melted and charred remains of whatever the two villains had been doing.

"Were you two…?" Kim couldn't get herself to say it. Somehow, it made things seem more real now than ever.

"Hmph!" Drakken crossed his arms and pouted.

"Yeah, fine, you caught us." Shego made it out like it was something small, even though they all knew better. "We were having dinner."

"A romance-y dinner," Ron corrected, sniffing at a particular pile of ash. "What? Salmon without capers?!"

"Those things are nasty," the green woman defended, clearly incensed.

"We didn't come here to judge what you do, by yourselves, behind closed doors," Kim said neutrally.

"Our relationship has certainly not progressed that far!" Drakken butted in. "Shego has class, and that's definitely not second-date material!"

"I didn't mean-.. I just-.. Nnngh…" Kim growled. This was just getting worse and worse!

"Calm down, everyone, calm down," Ron said, somehow being the voice of reason.

"I'll calm down when they calm down!" Drakken, Shego, and Kim all said, pointing at each other.

"Fine. I'm calm," Kim said, motioning with her hands for the other two to calm down. Amazingly, they complied, their stances changing subtly.

"Okay, Princess…" The redhead almost flinched at the nicknames now… Was Shego doing it on purpose? "So, what has you up in a tizzy that you had to come all the way here to bug us when we aren't doing anything?"

"If someone needs help from us, tell them to get lost!" Drakken sneered.

"No. No, it isn't anything like that," Kim said, trying to keep calm. In, then out. Breathe.

"We're on pins and needles here," Shego deadpanned.

"The suspense is killing me," Drakken apparently agreed.

"You two might wanna sit down," Ron said.

"HA!" Drakken defiantly went and propped himself on the large computer terminal a few feet away. "You can't tell me what to do!"

"Are we children now?" Kim complained, resisting the urge to facepalm at the antics.

"I'm with the doc here." Shego shifted her weight. "I'm not moving."

"Fine. That's fine." In, out. "That's okay. I'm just here to deliver some news. Some… Maybe stressing news."

"We'll see about that!" Drakken said, peeved. "I don't see why you couldn't do this over the phone or something…"

"Trust me, this is not a phone conversation." Breathe. "I'm…" She swallowed, the dryness of her mouth almost hurting. "I'm your daughter. The two of you. I'm both of your daughter."

The two stared. Turned to each other. Then began laughing.

"I'm not joking!" Kim said, her cheeks now lighting up like a Christmas tree. It was hard enough to have said it, but for them to think that it was a joke…? It made her sick to her stomach. Now self-conscious and wanting to convince them, she shouted, "Wade scanned our DNA! We. Are. A. Match."

"I'll let my own computer be the judge of that!" Drakken suddenly said. He snatched a chunk of hair from both Shego and Kim with his vines as fast as he said it, so fast that the two women barely had time to react.

"Ouch!" Shego snarled, "You'd better have a damn good reason-.."

"DNA, Shego. I need a sample of DNA to run," Drakken defended, for some reason not ducking down and away like he normally did when he riled her up like that.

"Hmph…" Shego frowned, but said nothing, instead turning and glaring at Kim. "If this is some kind of sick joke…" she warned, flames bursting to life on one of her hands.

"Trust me, if it were I wouldn't be here in striking range," Kim assured her. As she was saying that, Drakken had shoved their samples into a tray on his computer and pushed several buttons. Then, with finality, he pressed one last larger one in the middle of the panel.

"Ta-da!" Drakken waved at his computer. "There! No match!"

Kim and Shego stared. "...uh, Doc?" Shego started, her eyebrows trying to hit orbit. "That says that we do match…"

"What?!" Turning around, this time actually looking at the results, he boggled. "A match? We're a match?!" He pushed the button again.

Match.

Again.

Match.

Again.

Match.

He pushed it several more times, each one more frantic than the last.

"This must be malfunctioning!" Press. Ding! "This can't be right!" Press. Ding! "This can't be right!" Press. Ding!

"I'm a father," he said vacantly, turning around and staring off into space. "I'm a father. I'm Kim Possible's…" With that, he fell forward, hitting the ground hard.

"And I'm supposed to be your mother? Psha, please. I would've been, what, 15, 16 when you were born? I certainly don't remember it." Shego stopped. Blinking, she murmured, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear, "Actually, I don't remember any of it…"

"What does that mean?" Kim asked, eyeing Shego.

"That's the thing about the hero business, Cupcake," Shego said. "Sometimes the villains retaliate in a way that's permanently damaging." She seemed to coolly examine her nails, but Kim knew better; she was tense enough to play a tune on. "I, for example, have a few memory gaps." She began ticking off with her fingers. "Can't remember my parents, can't remember some of my childhood, can't remember a chunk of my teenage years." Shrugging minutely, she noted, "The bad side of heroics."

"Do you think Drakken…?" Ron said, his eyes bugging out as he stared at the prone form of the bad doctor.

"Did it to me?" Shego laughed. "Nooooo way. The doc was a practical vegetable when I was attacked. His words, not mine."

"Like, coma vegetable? Or did he turn himself into a blueberry?" Ron asked. Even with the tenseness of the sitch, Kim couldn't keep in a chuckle. If that was how he'd turned blue… Though, to be fair to Drakken, blueberries were a fruit.

"Haha-.. Yeah, no. He was in a coma or something. Way to joke about something serious, jerkass," Shego snarled.

Suddenly, Drakken shuddered, then began climbing to his feet. "Nnngh…" Rubbing his face, he muttered, "Shego, I had the worst post-invention-blow-up dream…!"

"Wasn't a dream, Doc."

"What?" He plopped back on his butt. "What do you mean it wasn't a dream. I dreamt that we were-.."

"Kim Possible's parents." Shego blew on her nails. "Yup, it's reality."

"Oh god…" Drakken paled, looking even more corpse-like than before. He looked like he was about to be sick. "Kim Possible is my…!" He apparently couldn't even get himself to say the word.

"Daughter. Kim Possible is our daughter," Shego said flatly.

"How…?"

She shrugged. "Beats me."

"Real helpful, Shego!" Drakken barked. He jumped to his feet and began to pace. "There's got to be a reason. There's got to be some reason…!" He suddenly popped up. "Oh! I know! Dementor did it!"

"And what in the world makes you think that?" Shego asked.

"I… Ah…" Drakken hunched over, then began to pace again.

"I was definitely a baby," Kim said, trying to be of some kind of help.

"So no vat-growing…" He continued to pace. "It could be genetic zippering of some kind…"

"Who would've bothered with some loser college reject named Drew Lipsky if this was some maddie experiment?" Shego asked logically.

"I let MYSELF out, thank you very much! Anyway…" Muttering to himself, he continued his back-and-forth pace for several minutes. A couple of times he stopped and made a 'eureka' motion, but swiftly discarded it and continued his pace.

Finally, unable to take any more, Kim blurted, "Don't either of you have any memory from back then?"

"I certainly don't," Shego coolly replied.

"I don't. Not really, anyway." Kim and Shego both eyed him. He sighed and growled, "After I left MIST - Middleton Institute of Science and Technology - I don't really remember anything until a year or so before I went villain."

"...wait…" Shego just kind of… Stared. "You mean to tell me that you don't remember a third of your life?"

"Yes…?" Drakken stood, staring right back. "What's wrong? Do I have something on my teeth?"

"And you were a blueberry while that was going on?" Ron asked.

"Blueberry…?" Drakken's eyes narrowed.

"He's being an idiot," Shego supplied. Kim found she could not disagree.

"Well, yes, it's hard for him not to be considering that's his natural state!" the now-peeved man growled.

"Hey now, that's going a little far!" Ron complained.

"Let's focus," Kim said, trying to wrangle everyone again. "Drakken, you were a vegetable during that time, right? Who took care of you?"

"Well, erm, my mother did…?" He twiddled his fingers. "She told me that I'd been accosted by some upperclassmen and that I ended up practically comatose afterwards. On my end, it was a shut door." He motioned a door slamming shut with his hands. "One day I was quitting college, the next I was waking up 12 years later, blue and scarred."

"Hm…" Kim thought. "Well, that's one lead we can follow…"

"Lead?" Drakken tilted his head. "What do you mean 'lead'?"

"She means," Shego butted in, "that we can figure out what the hell happened by going and talking with dear ol' Mama Lipsky."

"And why would we be doing that?" The blue man crossed his arms and began tapping his foot. "I have better things that I can do than bother with this, and I'm sure Shego does too!"

Suddenly, seriously, Shego asked, "Would you do it for me, Doc? Please?"

Drakken looked absolutely floored, and Kim couldn't blame him. She didn't even realize Shego had 'please' in her vocabulary without snark or sarcasm!

"I, ah, erm…" He shrugged vaguely, then seemed to come to some kind of sense as he bodily shook and stated, "Yes, Shego, I would. Will. I will."