Misinvitations

Seven sighed, the map on the astrometrics screen only serving to darken her mood.

"Good morning, Seven."

With a bit of a jump, Seven quickly turned off the map of the Beta Quadrant she'd been staring at and pulled up their current trajectory.

"So, did you have fun last night?" Chakotay, ignoring the multitude of duties he had to do that particular morning, had decided to personally collect the morning reports from the various parts of the ship. He deliberately left astrometrics until last. After hearing Harry's contemplations about Unimatrix Zero, Chakotay realized he'd been remiss, failing to follow up with Seven after the incident. She'd appeared her normal self and he'd ignored any initial concern, a choice he now regretted.

Seven glanced at him, her attention already back on her work after handing him the PADD with her report. "It was a pleasant evening."

"How does it compare to the Doctor's social lessons?" He smiled, hoping this would be an opening to a discussion.

"There is no comparison." Seven punched in a command with a little more force than necessary. "The Collective is preferable to those programs."

"So I've heard." On more than one occasion the Doctor vented to him and Janeway about Seven's stubborn lack of interest in the programs. A few had held her attention, but the bulk were deemed outright frivolous wastes of time. "Can I confess something to you?"

Seven nodded, her attention now wholly on him though her hands remained on the console.

"I once looked into the Doctor's programs for you. They're boring. I'm sure they were good when you first joined Voyager, but reviewing those same humdrum daily activities over and over again wouldn't have held anyone's interest for long, let alone yours."

"May I ask what led you to look into the Doctor's lessons for me?" Seven's brow raised at his assessment, but inside she was seething with anger borne of embarassment. It was no secret she'd needed lessons on how to interact with individuals, but the reminder from her superior officer – one who'd wished her off the ship from day one – was a reminder how far removed she still was from the rest of the crew.

"The Doctor liked to complain when you refused to cooperate." Chakotay shrugged, not yet aware he'd caused any particular sting. "I was curious just what you were rebelling against. It wasn't much of a surprise."

"And you believe my resistance was out of boredom?" If she'd been thinking rationally just then, she wouldn't have taken his statements badly, but his reminder of her Borg leanings paired with her misery over Axum and the destruction of Unimatrix Zero, all whirling in her mind along with the map of the Beta Quadrant was a bad combination. To add injury to insult, her head hurt with the dull pain of a stubborn headache. She didn't know what his thoughts were or why he was there, but she was prepared to think the worst.

"Wasn't it?"

"Perhaps I simply grew tired of being treated like a child."

"Yes, I can understand that too." Instinct told him something wasn't right, but he didn't know what.

"Then you believe I no longer require those social lessons?"

Sensing something like a trap coming with her cold tone, Chakotay stiffened a little. "I didn't review every program he created."

"Then you believe I should take the Doctor's advice and spend more time trying to fit in with a bunch of holographic recreations? Or maybe you're here to follow up on the Captain's insistence that I learn to be more human."

"I…" A safe answer to this puzzling speech eluded him.

"Or maybe my personality is simply flawed after too long as a drone. I may never fully embrace humanity again."

Chakotay frowned, disturbed and baffled by the turn of the conversation. "I don't believe that."

"The fact is, Commander," she said, turning an icy glare at him, "that I will not be like everyone on this ship because I am not like them. I am neither entirely human nor Borg. I may have grown up in Unimatrix Zero, but I can't remember it. The Captain thinks I can learn from my time there, but it is impossible to learn from something you do not remember. I will never be perfectly human no matter how much you, the Captain, or the Doctor push me to."

"At ease, Seven. I didn't mean to upset you." Chakotay frowned as Seven resolutely turned her back on him, ignoring his presence in favour of the commands she practically hammered into the computer. The sudden turn in their conversation had completely blindsided him. He recognized her stiff posture as a dismissal. Normally, he would have left her to herself, but that option didn't sit quite right this time. Swallowing his desire to avoid confrontation with the angry ex-drone, Chakotay instead moved closer. "Seven?"

She remained silent, pressing buttons with a fierceness that would have sent a lesser man running.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to insult you or push you to do anything, Seven. I know you won't be just like everyone else. How could you and why should you be?"

"Indeed. I will be insufficient for the rest of my life."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're far from insufficient." He sighed. "Seven, where is this coming from?"

"Nothing." She sighed. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, Commander." Regardless of the catharsis of her outburst, Seven now felt ashamed. She'd known she would regret saying what she did, but she'd said it anyway.

"It's not nothing. Seven, what's bothering you? You know I didn't mean to imply you're a disappointment, don't you?" He stepped closer, invading her personal space a little to force her to acknowledge his question. She was more stubborn than he was, remaining silent until he spoke again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

Seven nodded, but a lump in her throat prevented her from answering.

"Seven," he placed a hand on her arm in a daring gamble it wouldn't be torn from its socket, "I can't deny I once thought you'd fail to fit in. I thought you'd betray us the first chance you got, probably would kill us if the opportunity came up."

"You are wise."

"No, I was wrong. It's been a long time since I believed any of that. Even if you don't always fit in with social convention, I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing." He smiled a little tentatively. "I've been known to push back against expectations myself."

"You are speaking about joining the Maquis or in general?" Despite herself, she felt the rest of her anger leave. His easy temper was difficult to antagonize and just as difficult to stay mad at. Besides, she wasn't angry with him so much as upset at her situation. He just happened to be there at the wrong time.

Chakotay chuckled. "Both, but I was a bit of a pain in my father's butt long before I joined a rebellion." He smiled at her, thinking of the times she'd gone out of her way to help Voyager, of the odd friendships she'd formed, and the way she both amused and exasperated him. "I'm glad I was wrong about you."

"Some would still argue that you weren't wrong. I might not have personally tried to assimilate Voyager, but it seems few others have put this ship in as much danger for so little reward."

Chakotay sighed in relief. "Is that what's bothering you? You think you put this ship at risk?"

Seven looked away. "Partially. I did put the ship in danger and have done so on several occasions."

"Seven, it was our choice to help the people in Unimatrix Zero. Quite frankly, I'm glad it worked out as well as it did. I don't know about you, but I'm happy to strike a blow against the Collective any day."

"Then you do not blame me for Lieutenant Torres' discomfort, or Captain Janeway's or Tuvok's?"

Chakotay shook his head. "No, and neither do they. They volunteered to go and they knew the risks. Seven, you have nothing to feel guilty about. B'Elanna doesn't blame you either," he said quickly, worrying B'Elanna's abrasive demeanor might have led Seven to the wrong impression.

Seven dipped her head, undeniably comforted by the Commander's words. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Satisfied he could go with the air clear between them, Chakotay gave her arm a final pat and moved to leave. The doors slid open, but he hesitated. "Since Tuvok is still under the weather, he asked me to take over his hiking group for the next little while. Would you and the kids like to join us? I think you would have a good time showing us all up."

Seven was about to explain that her Borg physiology gave her superior cardiovascular strength, which was hardly anything to brag about, but she turned enough to see the teasing smirk on his face. Given the kindness he'd just shown her, it seemed petty and ill-tempered to turn down his invitation. She gave a hesitant nod.

"Good. I'm looking forward to it." He smiled in real pleasure, his eyes crinkling as Seven's rosy lips turned up in response.