My Confession

Seven was prompt as usual and accompanied by the Borg children.

Chakotay smiled. He'd made sure to be there before her predictably punctual arrival. Seven likewise greeted him with a slight smile and nod.

"Commander." Icheb, always polite and cognizant of Starfleet protocols practically stood at attention.

"Icheb, how are you?" Chakotay smiled at Mezoti and the twins, but their attention waned after a perfunctory greeting. They were occupied with reaching up to review the program's parameters on the wall display.

"I am functioning within normal parameters, thank you, and yourself?"

"Just fine, Icheb."

"Is our attire appropriate?" She wasn't certain what sort of terrain he planned to go over so Seven had to take a chance with footwear. Her tank and leggings, the same clothes she wore when playing velocity with Janeway, would have been good for most hiking climates as she could simply program a holographic coat if the environment was colder than expected. The children were just as simply dressed in light, long-sleeved shirts and pants.

"It'll do just fine. I thought I'd just pick a simple route and temperate environment," he nodded toward the children, "since they haven't been hiking before."

"You may regret making it easier for them." A smirk ghosted across Seven's lips as she eyed the excited youngsters.

Chakotay was about to answer, but they were interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the expectant hikers. As the organizer, Chakotay gave a quick overview of the track, asked if anyone had concerns, and then started the program.

The group, a modest dozen people, entered to find a nondescript forest trail in the thralls of a pleasant spring morning. Birch and maple trees spread their greenery over the sunny forest floor and some budding crocus blooms added vibrant colour in patches here and there. The chatter of squirrels running in the trees and the chirp of birds completed the picture.

As Chakotay predicted, Seven showed superior strengths, but he was surprised to continue finding her at the back of the group. It was not, he soon realized, because she was tired or lagging on her own account.

Whenever he looked back to see where she was – surely there was no need for him to question just why his eyes kept seeking Seven out, it was all completely innocent as he tried to be a good leader – she was quickly spotted trying to usher the Borg children along. They were often distracted by the colourful flowers, the glimpse of an animal behind the flora, or simply involved in chasing and pushing each other through the trees. It was hard not to be amused by their antics.

After an hour, they'd completed the loop and said their farewells to the rest of the tired participants. Chakotay lingered with Seven under the pretense of allowing the children more time to run around. It wasn't much of a lie as only Icheb chose to return to his work and the three youngest were still exploring.

"May I ask you something?" Chakotay had contemplated whether asking her the coming question was wise, but his curiosity won out.

Seven bobbed her head.

"Yesterday you said you were partially upset because you felt guilty."

Seven nodded again, afraid she knew what was coming.

"What was the other reason?"

"Did – The Captain didn't tell you about Axum?"

Chakotay shook his head, surprised by her hesitation. She was usually so forthright and confident. "She said he was the one who contacted you, that he was one of the drones organizing the rebellion."

Seven nodded. "We also had an intimate relationship."

That hit Chakotay by surprise, but he did his best not to show it. With something akin to severe disappointment, he wondered how this unknown man had earned Seven's intimacy over only a few interactions in a dream world.

"I don't remember our time together, but if Unimatrix Zero hadn't been destroyed… I find myself conflicted by the situation."

Ah, of course she meant they'd had a relationship while she was still part of the Collective. Some levelheadedness returned to Chakotay and he felt silly for his initial reaction. Stifling a sigh, he tried to answer as properly as he would any other crewmember. "I'll assume then wherever he is, it's too far for Voyager to communicate with him or else you wouldn't be so upset."

Seven nodded, pleased with his quick understanding. "He is in a remote section of the Beta Quadrant."

Something inside Chakotay purred at the news. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I was rude yesterday, Commander. I was preoccupied by this knowledge."

"I understand." He really did. Sympathy filled him. "It's not easy to lose someone you care about."

Seven looked at the Commander sharply. "He is not dead."

"No." Still, with the distance, Chakotay rather thought Axum might as well be.

She sighed, her thoughts not that far from his own. "I suppose I understand this crew's desire to return to Earth slightly better now."

Chakotay smiled sadly. "I guess so."

Just then the children burst from the forest to land in front of Seven, all breathing heavily and smiling widely. A few twigs and leaves were caught in Mezoti's hair and some burrs clung to the boys' clothing.

"Are you done?" Seven arched her brow at their appearance. Neither she nor Chakotay were able to suppress their amused smiles.

The children nodded.

With a slight tilt of her head toward the Commander, she reminded the children of their manners.

"Thank you for arranging this social activity," said Mezoti in her usual serious intonation. She was echoed by Rebi and Azan.

"You're very welcome." His smile grew as Seven returned it with one of her own.

"Come, you will need to clean up and change clothes before regenerating." Seven ushered the children out the door where the holographic dirt disappeared. Seven paused to face Chakotay. "Thank you, Commander."

"Any time, Seven." On impulse, he reached out to touch her arm. She stopped. "You know, it might actually help if you spend more time with the crew. There are a lot of people on Voyager who would understand what you're going through."

Seven nodded, but they both knew it was just to placate him. She did the same with the Doctor and Janeway. She wouldn't have shown up for the hike if his invitation hadn't explicitly included the children.

It made Chakotay sad as he watched Mezoti and one of the twins take Seven's hands to return to their cargo bay.

Alone in the holodeck, Chakotay realized her brushoff was saddening for more than just her sake. He liked talking with her, took pride in the few instances she confided in him, and appreciated her dry wit. Though he didn't know to what extent he wanted to continue their off-duty friendship, he was positive he wanted to spend more time with her.

You care about her, said a little voice. The same voice reminded him about seeing her fighting for her life, how it felt to witness her predicament and the realization he'd come to then. He tried to silence the voice, but it hummed along in the back of his mind regardless.