Beware, I did not mean for this to become such a tear fest. Also obligatory: I don't own YJ. I'm pretty sure some moments are OOC, so no, I don't own it. (I really, really wish I did though)
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly," Dick lightly sang under his breath as he cartwheeled by. "Falalalalalalalala!"
"'Tis the season to be jolly!" Wally joined in, horribly out of tune.
"Falalalalalalalala!" M'gann descended with what looked to be gingerbread cookies. Dick smelled the aroma coming off of it and he was thankful M'gann didn't burn the cookies anymore. "Don we now our gay apparel!"
Zatanna teleported in. "Falalalalalalalala!" she sang, grinning. Dick stifled a cackle and counted down. Three, two, one…
"All of you SHUT UP!" Artemis demanded, storming in. Huh, thought it would be Conner.
Wally raced over Artemis' side. "Why, Arty? Do you not want to join in the Christmas spirit? We wish you a-"
"BE QUIET!" the archer screeched. "I don't like Christmas."
"What? Why?" Zatanna asked.
M'gann was confused. "But isn't Christmas on Earth a time to be happy?"
Wally took a sharp breath. "Nobody doesn't like Christmas, Arty! Gifts and food and snow and-"
"I. Don't," Artemis gritted out. Unlike the others, Dick could understand her situation - he doubted growing up with Sportsmaster would've made Christmases and winter in general particularly fun - and felt a measure of sympathy towards her. "You know what? I'll just head back." She began stomping off to the zeta beams.
Before he knew it, Dick was running to his teammate, leaving just in time to hear, "Conner kindly requests you to keep it down, he has sensitive ears," from Aunt Dinah. He punched in the coordinates of the Gotham zeta beam and disappeared in a flash of light.
When he rematerialized, Dick shoved the door open and slammed it shut with just as much force. He could spot the lone figure of the emerald archer of the Team trekking down the path. "Artemis, wait!"
She whirled around and her eyes skirted around in a panic. "I-uh- I'm visiting my cousin again for Christmas."
"Hey, I'm cool with that," he dismissed. "But you didn't seem like you were whelmed back there. Need someone to talk to?"
"If I wanted a therapist, I'd go to Black Canary," she said, curling up her hands into fists.
Dick laughed. "Never said you had to talk about feelings. Just talk."
"Wally's an idiot," she said simply and bluntly. "Can I go now?"
"Go whenever," Dick offered, his hands gesturing to the sidewalk. Artemis started to leave, then stopped herself, her fists clenching and unclenching. For about a minute, the cycle continued. She would make a move, then step back.
Finally, she decided. "I don't like Christmas."
The edges of Dick's lips curved upwards. "Yes, I believe you mentioned that. Care to elaborate?"
"Christmas reminds me of a lot of bad memories," Artemis amended. "I don't have the… best parents." Subconsciously, Artemis shivered and Dick wondered if it was from cold or from a memory.
"Hey," he said, "don't worry about it. Pretty sure we all have parent issues. Supey's is obvious, Kaldur's father figure is his king, and Zatara is way too overprotective."
Artemis snorted. "I bet you don't have issues. Your dad is the Dark Knight, the pinnacle of human perfection."
"Physical human perfection," Dick corrected. "He still has a long way to go emotionally. And besides, he's not my dad." Not legally. Not genetically. Dick shuddered as he envisioned his parents' bones cracking against the floor.
"He's not?" the green-clad teenager repeated, startled. "I thought-"
"Everyone thinks that," Dick jested. "They always think wrong. Just, don't tell Batman I told you, 'kay?"
Artemis had a faint smile. "You have my word."
"Anything else?" Dick prodded. Maybe Artemis would finally trust him enough-
"I don't think so."
The Boy Wonder nodded, though disappointed. "I know a great cafe near here. Hot cocoa's on me."
Artemis laughed. Whew. Thought she would never. "Sure. Just let me text my mom, let her know I'll be a little late." The archer whipped out her phone and pulled up a conversation. Respectfully, Dick looked away. "Done." She put her mobile device back in her quiver. "We're going in civvies, right?"
"Nope!" Dick cheerfully replied, much to Artemis' bewilderment. "This is a hero-friendly cafe."
"Huh," she remarked to herself.
As they walked out of the alley, Dick wanted to add one more note. "And Arty?"
"Yeah?"
"We can start making new memories. You, me, the Team, even the League." Dick's eyes softened. "I know what it's like having a fresh start. Don't let the past haunt you so much."
Artemis stared at him, eyes wide. "Okay," she breathlessly whispered.
Dick beamed. "Then come on!" He grabbed her arm childishly and pulled her in the direction of the cafe. "Let's go!"
There was a Christmas party for the Team. It was made tradition to have one every year, and with their new members, the party was livelier and wilder than ever. Dick leaned against the wall, in Nightwing garb. He liked to observe. Not only that, as the team leader, he needed to keep track of his teammates' relations to one another, he also enjoyed looking on at the bonds formed.
Tim and Cassie were awkwardly standing near the lunch table, making an attempt to converse. Dick smirked. Ten bucks say they get together next year, he could hear himself saying. It was sweet, how his new little brother was integrating himself into the team dynamic. Blue Beetle was also a fairly new recruit. He seemed to get along well enough with Beast Boy, despite the age difference.
Conner was sitting alone, hands violently shoved into his pockets. He was glaring at La'gaan and M'gann cuddling, the Martian feeding tiny cupcakes to the Atlantean. He sighed. The original team had become so estranged in the past five years.
When Conner and M'gann broke up, they weren't on the best terms with each other, and hadn't recovered since. M'gann grew more hasty, reckless. Conner's temper died down, but he tended to stay unnoticeable in the background. Zatanna and Raquel joined the League, and that was the end of it. Kaldur was still off spying on the Light for Dick. He felt guilt and regret everyday that it couldn't be him, but Kaldur was more suited for this mission. This mission that wouldn't even allow the former Aqualad a chance to grieve.
Dick felt the weight of having to keep up the charade, of having to lead. He'd become the Team's Batman, giving out missions but staying out of them for the most part. Every time they went against Kaldur in the field, he was one word away from spilling the secret. From admitting that Kaldur wasn't evil, that they should hold back.
But he stopped himself, for the sake of the mission.
Wally and Artemis were most likely having a peaceful celebration either in Palo Alto with college friends or in Central City with the Wests and Allens. Their quitting of the hero life had taken its toll on his and Wally's relationship. Their conversations were strained whenever anything to do with Nightwing, Batman, or the Team was brought up. He was glad Artemis was able to find happiness in Wally, though. She deserved a good Christmas.
Dick recalled the first Christmas fondly, all those years ago. The Team was slowly but surely coming together. It was just the six of them at first. The six of them with a bond they thought was unbreakable.
We thought wrong, Dick mused bitterly, noting the similarity to a semi-joke told to Artemis that afternoon.
Tim had just finished whatever he was saying to Cassie, and stumbled away with a blush. Dick grinned. "You look flustered there, Baby Bird," Dick said, elbowing the newest Robin.
"I, uh…" Tim didn't trip over his words often, but it was adorable when he did.
"If you love her, go get her," Dick suggested, teasingly. After all, you never know how much time is left.
Dick sobbed, openly, in Artemis' apartment. It used to be Artemis and Wally's apartment, but Wally… Dick cried harder. He couldn't be bothered to take off his mask, all he could do was grieve. Tears streaked down his cheek.
His last words to Wally were those of contempt. Berating him for, what? Not liking the loss of Mount Justice? I was so stupid. He had said Wally just missed the souvenirs, implied that his best friend was that petty. Little did he know that Wally would go on to sacrifice his life for the good of the world.
"Dick," Artemis said softly, her voice raw. The Team and League had flocked to her, comforted her in her time of need. And that was fine, she deserved it. Artemis hadn't done anything wrong. She hadn't caused Wally's death. Bruce was notably exempt from his own, nonexistent pity party. Dick didn't blame him. His plan had failed in all the worst ways.
"I'm so sorry," he blubbered. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't come up with the stupid-"
"Shh." Artemis embraced him. "It was the Reach's fault, the Light's fault, the villains' fault. You can't be blamed for coming up with a plan to deal with it. I'm not sure how we would've saved the day without you."
"But I- Now Wally's-" He choked, melting further into the hug.
Artemis stroked his ebony locks in a sisterly fashion. "I know. But you know what he would've wanted? To not break ourselves into pieces with the guilt. So let's remember him, but… make new memories, okay? I'm on the Team again. We can have a fresh start."
"'Kay," Dick mumbled, fearing that if he said anymore, he would burst into tears.
Artemis stood up. "Hot cocoa? It's on me."
Dick wiped his eyes. He couldn't help but remember when the roles were reversed, when it was him comforting Artemis. When it was him giving this advice, the advice being thrown back at him. "Hot cocoa sounds good. Thanks Arty."
Artemis smiled. "Anytime, Dick."
My heart broke while I wrote this. (I broke it again while seeing the double meaning of the title I chose) I swear, I don't do sad things well at all. Gah. Also, apologies for not updating in a while. I moved and had to join a completely new school, climate (fact: before now, I've only lived on islands that are pretty much smack dab on the equator), etc. I'll try to be consistent with my updates, but I'm also working on another story. (Who's ready for some Talon!Dick?) At the very least, this one isn't crack.
Merry Christmas everyone!