Not wanted to draw attention to himself by loitering in the hallway in civilian clothes, Chakotay waited for Seven inside the holodeck. Its grey walls were deceivingly bland, not giving a hint to the wonders they could create. The doors opened behind him and he turned, stopping dead in surprise, his jaw practically dropping.
"Is my clothing insufficient?" Seven ran a nervous hand down the dress. She'd chosen a long-sleeved black dress with a scooped neckline. The computer had offered it as a modest alternative to some of the racier options the Doctor designed. "I can change."
"No." He almost shouted it. Chastising himself, he held out a hand, which she took with a smile. "You look perfect."
"You are attractive as well."
He chuckled. "Thank you. So, are you ready?"
She nodded.
"I hope you don't mind, but I've made a slight change to our plans."
"What sort of changes?"
"Do you trust me?"
She couldn't help smiling. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"Good. Computer, activate Dance Program Twelve."
Immediately a city at night appeared, lit up with white lights and the general hubbub of a large city ready for a night out. Ahead of them was a large, ornate building.
"Come on." Chakotay took her hand and, tucking it into the crook of his arm, led her to the theatre. They entered the glamorous building.
"It is not Lieutenant Paris' movie house."
"No," Chakotay confirmed. He smiled as she looked around, trying to figure out what exactly it was. "Come on. We'll find our seats."
Despite the number of programmed people milling around the outside and the lobby, the theatre was uncrowded. Chakotay and Seven, naturally, had the best seats in the place.
The lights dimmed and the red curtain pulled aside, a dramatic, yet light tune filling the room.
"Commander—"
"Chakotay," he corrected, smiling widely as he watched her face turn from recognition to wonder.
"Swan Lake." She dragged her gaze from the stage
"I remember you saying you wanted to be a ballerina."
She was speechless, able only to return his warm smile and relax next to him as the dancers acted out the sad love story. A woman trapped by someone else's cruel desires, a single chance at redemption… Seven was embarrassed to have to wipe her eyes as the story's two lovers fought their tormentor and died for their efforts.
Chakotay happened to turn to Seven as a tear escaped her fingers and ran down her cheek. Never before would he have expected to see Seven cry, certainly not over an artistic performance. Acting on impulse, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. She turned to him, surprised, but not offended.
The lights turned on, breaking the spell.
They explored the old section of the ancient city, which had been preserved for centuries with its brick and stone buildings. For the sake of the program, there were no vehicles besides horses pulling pretty carts. The population was likewise lowered so they were not caught in crowds. The horses passed once in awhile and artists on the street offered music or paintings for a fee. Plaques here and there advised them of the significance of the buildings before them and above, courtesy of programming, despite the city lights, were the stars.
They walked until their stomachs began to growl. They chose a spot in the park along the St Lawrence. A clever bit of programming on Chakotay's part led to a small table and chairs appearing at their chosen spot. Candles and a rose completed the setup.
Chakotay, remembering his manners, pulled out the chair for Seven. He eyed her to see how these romantic overtures were accepted. Her smile was both charmed and charming. He had to quickly move to take his seat before he did something to ruin it like kiss her right then.
The meal was simple but delicious, leaving them both satisfied and pleased with the world in general. They chatted and enjoyed the view of ships lit up on the water. When their time was almost up, Chakotay again pulled out her chair and offered a hand, holding onto it as they walked back along the way they'd come.
They reached the doors and stopped, taking a last look out over the city landscape.
"Thank you for showing me this, Chakotay." She looked over. He was staring at her, smiling widely. "What?"
"You called me Chakotay."
"Indeed." She blushed and looked away.
"It's the first time you've done that without me insisting."
"I apologize. It's a habit."
He shook his head slightly, putting an arm around her waist. "Don't apologize, just keep doing it."
"If you wish, Chakotay." Her smile widened as he held her a little tighter in response.
He gave a mock shiver. "Once more, just to make up for last time."
"Chakotay." They smiled at each other, frozen in the moment. Seven felt the world go still around them, her focus narrowing down to the tiny space between them. His touch, though relatively light, might as well have been a vice. Her attention wavered between his eyes and his lips. Both were equally inviting.
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." Realizing their position and how his overt moved might be interpreted, he moved back slightly. He didn't want to move too fast and ruin what he was now convinced would be a relationship worth a little patience in the start. Seven, however, didn't appreciate the space between them like he thought she would.
"Hold still."
Chakotay froze as Seven's hand rose to his face. His heart threatened to pound right out of his chest. Her body had followed his so that any space he sought to give her was immediately taken back. He was all too aware of how warm, how inviting she was despite the hard, almost harsh planes of her Borg-sculpted body.
"You have intriguing facial features," she said by way of explanation, tracing the contours she'd admired. Though she was aware of how he'd frozen, she had no idea of the extent of her affect on him... not yet.
"Thank you." He tried to smile, but it faded with his distraction as her feathery touches and physical closeness threatened his sanity. He'd never thought himself lacking in restraint, but this was something beyond physical. "Seven—"
Anything he might have said was cut off along with his oxygen as her lips pressed to his. It was no peck, the tension between them flaring up instantly into passion. Her hands moved to his neck and hair as his arms wrapped around her back, pulling her closer. He was amazed and gratified at how she moulded against him, her usually stiff posture melting away like ice in spring.
"I conducted some research," she blurted when they broke apart, both panting a little. Despite her advanced physiology, she felt like she'd just run miles. She briefly wondered at the bridge between mental and physical reactions. Her eyes nervously darted away from him.
"Oh? And what did this research tell you?" he prompted, his voice grown husky. A blush tinged her cheeks endearingly so that his restraint was yet again tested.
"It's been noted by many individuals that anticipation of the first kiss is often uncomfortable." She felt obligated to explain the sudden assault on her superior officer's lips. Anxiety at his obedient lack of movement made her jittery and uncertain. "I wanted to alleviate the tension."
"That was very considerate of you." He splayed his hand on her back, pressing enough to bind them closer. Her now shy eyes were like flighty birds, darting away from him no matter how close he got. It would have been endearing if he didn't desperately want to see those bright blue circles turn to passionate smoke. "What about the second?"
"I would have to conduct more research. It may indicate –" It was her turn to be cut off, but she didn't mind. Her eyelids drifted closed as she lost herself to the physical senses. There was no thought beyond the intake of his scent, the taste of his lips and his venturous tongue, the feel of his firm hands and planes of his chest against hers.
Pain. It was sharp, but besides a short wince, she didn't let it show. She was quickly lost to other things and ignored it.
The hand not holding her back travelled to her waist. She held back a moan. Despite her superior senses, everything was bent towards Chakotay. He was all around her, consuming all as his lips gave and took against hers. His tongue, warm and skilled, teased her. Research was indeed insufficient in this instance.
The computer beeped to let them know their time was up, the city disappearing back into the grey walls of the holodeck. It hardly made a difference to the couple, but Seven knew someone else had the holodeck booked after her.
"We should leave."
Chakotay groaned. "You're right."
He gave her a last, much shorter kiss and walked with her down the empty corridors until their paths diverged. Here too he couldn't resist a last, lingering kiss when she insisted he not walk her all the way home. He blessed their luck as they wished each other a pleasant night in the privacy of the empty hallway.
Seven walked back a little unsteadily to the cargo bay. The children were already regenerating so she was able to change back into her regular biosuit without any questions. She spared a few minutes watching them, her sorrow at losing them back but lessened thanks to her time with Chakotay and the consolation that they were going to where they belonged.
Pain. Seven closed her eyes, the dim lights of the cargo bay and the regeneration units suddenly too much to bear. Her hands pressed against her temples, but the pain didn't lessen. It was more than just the stress of work, more than the pain of going without regeneration for a week, more than any concussion she'd suffered.
Just as quick as the pain had come, it was gone.
She knew she should go to sickbay, but before she could take a step in that direction, a fear gripped her. Though she was not a doctor, she had an inkling of the source of the headache.
Her cortical node. It was the only significant implant in her head. If that was the problem, then there were only two situations that could play out.
If it was a minor issue, she could regenerate and it would correct itself.
If it was more serious… She didn't want to accept such an option, didn't even want to consider it.
No. Her sense of pride could not tolerate the possibility of being so weak.
She thought of Chakotay and made up her mind.
She would regenerate and the issue would resolve itself.
It took a little more willpower for her to ignore the slight trembling in her arm implant, but she managed it.
The subtle click and whirl of the regeneration unit that normally signalled the oblivion of her consciousness didn't come. With a sigh, Seven stepped out and tapped a few commands into the alcove. It was functioning within normal parameters. She lined herself back up, taking a deep, calming breath. The unit started, its humming a signal of the end of her pain. It did indeed clear her mind, but it didn't fix her body as much as she thought it would.
Regeneration will correct the issue. It had to.
[Transporter Room]
This was it. Star date 54129.4. There was no reason to delay their homecoming any longer. The ship was willing to take the children home to their new lives and everyone concerned was convinced the Borg children stood as good a chance at finding happiness on the Wysanti home world as they did anywhere else. There certainly were not concerns like Seven felt with Icheb's people, even Seven's maternal instincts giving way to the happiness of being able to rejoin the children with their proper place in the universe.
Mezoti, always the most affectionate, hugged Seven first. Rebi and Azan, no less affected by the prospect of a final farewell, followed suit.
Seven closed her eyes and leaned into their embrace, committing the feel of their innocent affection to memory.
Happy. Be happy. It was more difficult than she'd ever admit, but she did feel pleased for the children. That they found their people was a miracle. That their people proved worthy seemed even more amazing.
She was happy.
[Corridor]
"It just seems like an insufficient amount of time has passed."
"You're having an emotional response to the children's departure. They'll be fine. We should be happy for them." She knew it to be true and so she forced herself to feel it. No, she really did feel it. There was none of the suspicion she'd felt with Icheb's parents.
"Seven," said Icheb.
"Yes?"
"You're crying."
Seven touched her cheek. She was surprised to find wetness. Tears were indeed falling from her ocular implant and yet she didn't feel them fall. She could tell Icheb didn't believe her, but she was in control of her emotions so the tears were unexpected and quite literally unfelt.
A little fear gripped her, but she didn't let it show.
Of course, the Doctor didn't believe her either.
She tried her best to contain her irritation as he undermined her explanation, describing his own emotional responses observing an opera on the holodeck. Yes, she thought with no small amount of impatience, opera is equal to giving up three children.
"You're a hologram. You can't cry." This blunt observation did nothing to dissuade his passionate recital. Her rebuttal fell on deaf ears, despite their original programming, until he read the reality for himself.
"Hmm. It seems I owe you an apology. According to this, your tears were the result of a glitch in your primary cortical node. Have you experienced any other malfunctions lately? Headaches, dizziness, diminished motor functions?"
"No." It was a lie, of course, and not a very good one. Seven had never really mastered lying.
"Really?" The Doctor tried to catch her eye, but she refused to look at him. He almost smiled at her petulance. She was easy for him to read and just as easy to outmaneuver. "Then you won't mind if I check the bio monitors in your alcove just to be sure?"
Caught, she could at least downplay the issue if she could keep him away from the alcove. It was, after all, just a slight error in her physiology that would correct itself. There was no need to get him worked up like a mother hen. She was fine. "I have experienced an occasional headache."
"Why didn't you come see me?" That she would hide medical problems from him was alarming. That she had done so for an undefined amount of time hurt him on a personal level.
"The malfunctions have not affected my work." And she was banking everything she had on the hope that it was nothing serious.
"Seven, if you're having problems, you need to let me know."
"If it makes you feel better, I will be more forthcoming in the future."
"You're all heart."
Hurrying to make her escape, Seven was almost through the door when his next words stopped her cold.
"I'll schedule some follow up tests and make my report to the Captain."
No. The thought of being treated like an invalid was repulsive. Besides, chances were good that if he told Janeway, then Chakotay would learn of it as well. That was unacceptable. It was a minor error anyway. It had to be. There was no point alarming anyone. "I'd prefer to keep this between us. I don't want to worry the Captain."
"We've always kept her informed of your medical needs."
I've never had a need to conceal my physical deficiencies. She'd also never needed so desperately to pretend everything was fine. The alternative…
"It was my understanding that all members of this crew have the right to doctor-patient confidentiality."
"If you want to keep this between us, that's where it'll stay." He hid his perplexity over this newfound desire of hers, but inside he wondered. Still, she wore the unyielding stance she took on when she'd set her mind to something. He knew nothing would change her decision now.
Relieved, Seven gave a brief incline of her head and left, hoping that by the time he scheduled another checkup her Borg physiology would correct itself.
[Cargo Bay Two]
Her alcove… It was equal parts a symbol of her superior physiology and an albatross around her neck. She was chained to it like a fish was to water.
The conversation with Icheb in astrometrics was almost entirely forgotten as she settled herself in the regeneration unit. It would help her body correct itself. It wouldn't take a full cycle but she'd schedule one anyway. She was just deteriorating from lack of rest. It would be fine. She would be fine.
The computer beeped at her, stubbornly refusing to comply with her commands.
I am fine.
She ordered a diagnostic.
"Alcove Zero One is operating within normal parameters."
"Initiate regeneration cycle."
"Unable to comply."
"Clarify."
"Your cortical node is malfunctioning."
A minor error.
Seven had never been very good at lying, not even to herself.
[Mess Hall]
"Chakotay to Seven."
Seven cursed. In her hurry to escape to regenerate and then her move to the empty mess, she'd forgotten that she had a dinner date with Chakotay in his quarters.
"Seven here."
"Are you all right?"
"I am fine." A frown tugged at her lips as she thought how to bypass this conversation. He couldn't know she was defective. He didn't need to know when it was such a minor issue. "I apologize. I…"
"You standing me up?" There was a teasing note in his voice that made it surprisingly difficult for her to respond with the same platitudes she'd given the Doctor and Icheb.
"No, I'll be there shortly." There was nothing else to do after that but leave the mess and head to his quarters. At least the trembling in her arm had stopped.
His quarters were homey and inviting, something she hadn't really noticed before and which was more evident with the partial lighting he'd set. The few personal items he'd spread around were mostly cultural symbols, but she recognized a few mementos from away missions and meetings with Delta Quadrant species.
"I was starting to think you weren't coming." Chakotay stood in the kitchen, having called for her to enter as he prepared dinner. He smiled, but her half-hearted return only left him concerned. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes." Seven tried to look normal, but she couldn't quite manage to stand with ease any more than she could smile.
"Really?" He turned down the stove and faced her fully. "You're not acting fine."
This was where close relationships became troublesome. "I'm sorry. I am distracted by… the children leaving."
"You didn't seem to have a problem with them leaving yesterday. Did you find something we should be concerned about?" His thoughts flew to Icheb's parents despite having met and greatly liked the Wysanti.
"No," Seven hurried to reassure him, thinking up a likely excuse, one which also happened to be true. "I suppose I was more affected by their presence than I originally believed."
Chakotay wasn't entirely convinced by this, but thought it might be better to leave it until she was ready to talk about the real problem. "I'm sure it'll be quite the adjustment. I know I'll miss them and I wasn't even their primary caregiver."
She nodded and tried to look comfortable, but was too aware of his assessing gaze, which shifted from his cooking to her as he worked. He was not an idiot and though they hadn't spent a great deal of time together socially, she knew he was more than observant enough to pick up on something wrong. The trembling in her arm began again. To hide it, she clasped her hands behind her.
Click. The stove was turned off. Seven's head snapped up, but Chakotay was already rounding the counter to come to her. There was no escape unless she literally ran away, not that she didn't contemplate it for a second.
"What's really going on?" He put his arms around her waist in a loose embrace.
"Nothing. Everything is fine."
"Seven, if everything is fine, then why are you stiff as a pole?" His fingers traced small circles on her back. Still, she remained stubbornly silent, refusing to look at him. "You can talk to me."
She sighed. He would require some proper answer. "I haven't been feeling well." At his frown, she elaborated. "I have a headache."
"It must be pretty bad for it to be bothering you. Why don't you ask the Doctor for something?" She looked away. "Dinner can wait a few minutes for us to take a visit to sickbay. Or I can replicate something for the pain."
"That isn't necessary. I'll be fine."
"Why suffer if you don't have to?" He moved closer, his frown turned into a teasing smile. "I might be wonderful, but I'm hardly worth a headache."
She smiled just a little at that, lulled by the warmth and feel of his body against her, as light as it was. "You underestimate your value."
A little pressure on her back and she took a step closer. "Are you saying I'm worth a little pain?"
"Perhaps."
"Well then, maybe I can take your mind off it." He was close enough now that he just had to shift forward to capture her lips. Like their last date, she drew close to him like a river over rocks. Her arms went around his shoulders and she moved against him with enthusiasm.
"Ow." Seven pulled away reflexively, her hand automatically moving to her head before she could stop herself.
"What?" Chakotay examined her closely. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Seven—"
"It's a minor error, nothing to be concerned about." She tried to sound strong, unaffected, but she was frightened, afraid of what the pain meant.
"Seven," he said, more firmly, his own hand catching hold of her wrist. "What…"
"A minor problem." She snatched back her arm, which had betrayed her with its trembling.
"No." He grabbed her arm, which continued to shake, and held it up. "This is not minor. We're going to sickbay right now."
"That is unnecessary." She pulled away from his grasp and strode to the door.
"Seven, if you won't listen to me as your friend, then I'll order you as a crewman under my command. It's your choice."
For a moment they stood apart, glaring at each other with varying levels of frustration and fear. It was a true standoff, a battle of wills, but Chakotay had one ace up his sleeve. He was a commanding officer and could indeed carry through on his threat. If he wished, he could order others to force her into sickbay.
A tiny dip of her head was all she gave to indicate she was capitulating to his demand, but it was enough. Seven turned back to the door, which opened for her. Chakotay followed closely.
They made a tense pair as they walked down the corridors. The handful of people who saw them, skirted away and wondered what sort of trouble Seven managed to get into that would make Commander Chakotay scowl so badly.
"Good evening." The Doctor looked between them with polite confusion. "What can I do for you two?"
"Seven?" Chakotay inclined his head.
With a heavy sigh, she straightened and prepared herself to be assaulted by well-meaning hens. "My headache has continued."
"And?" Chakotay raised a mocking brow when she scowled at him.
The Doctor glanced at Commander Chakotay, who leaned against a bed with crossed arms. "And what?"
"My arm malfunctioned."
The Doctor picked up his medical scanner and began examining Seven, who huffed. "I told you, you need to see me when these things happen."
"You are both concerned about an insignificant error."
"Seven," Chakotay broke in irritably, "your arm was shaking uncontrollably. That is not insignificant."
"Indeed," the Doctor mumbled. The more his scanner told him, the more concerned he became. "Seven, would you lie down?"
Unwilling, but with no other choice, Seven took her all too familiar spot in the surgical area of sickbay. She hated it there. All her routine maintenance was performed there and she'd spent so many emergencies on that bed that she secretly hated to even look at it.
The scanner closed around her as she tried to ignore the beeps and whirls as her body was laid open to the Doctor and the medical technology he commanded. She was aware of Chakotay still at his perch, part of the scene and yet giving her the illusion of privacy.
After a few moments, an incessant beeping drew the Doctor's attention and Seven felt her heart clench in fear.
"Commander, can you excuse us please?"
Though not happy about it, Chakotay nodded and obediently left sickbay. He looked back just long enough to catch Seven's eye. He wanted to tell her he'd be outside when she was done, but something in her gaze and the serious stance of the Doctor told him there was no point waiting. Whatever the problem was, she wouldn't be returning for dinner with him.
"Doctor?" Seven watched the doors close behind Chakotay with a small frown. As angry with him as she was for forcing her to sickbay and as much as she detested anyone witnessing her weakness, his presence had been a comfort. She turned back to the Doctor, who was frowning over the medical scanner. "What is it?"
"Your cortical node…"
No.
"It's more than just a glitch as we previously thought." He pulled up the results of the scans. She joined him, a glance telling her all she needed.
"The node is destabilising."
"Yes. Soon your body will begin to reject your implants."
"When you've disconnected implants before I've always adapted."
"Minor ones, an assimilation tubule here, a few nanoprobes there, but these implants regulate vital functions."
"And without my cortical node to regulate them, I'll die."
His silence as he looked away told her all. Still, self-preservation instincts were hard to ignore.
"Borg technology is highly adaptive. The node will repair itself in time."
"I don't think so, Seven. If anything, the deterioration is accelerating." The level of deterioration had certainly changed since their last appointment or he would never have let her leave sickbay in the first place.
"The node will correct itself." It had to. Her life hadn't been easy, but she didn't want to give it up, not over something like this.
"And if it doesn't?"
Seven was silent. Then I will die.
"Can we repair it or replicate a new one?"
"The technology is too complex."
"What if you were still in the Collective? What would they have done then?"
"The Borg would have replaced it. They are the only ones with the technology to replicate cortical nodes."
The Doctor nodded. "All right then. You lie down and try to get some rest. You're going to stay here for observation and I'm going to have to advise the Captain."
"I think I have been sufficiently observed."
"I'm sorry, Seven, but this is not negotiable." He scowled right back at her until she sighed and lay back on the bed. He then dimmed the lights so she would be able to sleep and he called the Captain.
Seven was actually tired. She fell into a light doze that was broken only momentarily when Captain Janeway entered sickbay and joined the Doctor in his office.
[Sickbay]
Truly concerned for her friend and progeny, Captain Janeway visited Seven in sickbay early the next morning. It was not the most productive conversation, but she could at least understand why. Seven was still in denial. It didn't take a professional counsellor to see that. Considering the seriousness of the situation, it also wasn't surprising. What did surprise Janeway was how strongly Seven was holding on to her belief that Borg technology was infallible.
Chakotay stood as soon as Janeway entered the bridge and demanded to know how Seven was. She recalled the Doctor mentioning that it was Chakotay who'd escorted Seven to sickbay. It was a surprise, but she thought nothing more of it besides how lucky it was Seven hadn't been alone when her cortical node really began acting up.
"As well as can be expected. Still stubborn as a mule." Bypassing her chair, she went to stand near Harry.
"What's wrong with Seven?" Harry looked up from his station with concern. Tom and Ensign Wildman likewise turned around.
"She needs a new cortical node." If she had been looking at Chakotay as she said this instead of Harry, Janeway would have seen a moment of unguarded concern.
"Harry, we passed a Borg debris field six or seven days ago."
The ensign nodded. "I can pull it up on long-range sensors."
"No offense, Captain," said Chakotay, "but the last time you took a ship to encounter the Borg, it ended up in a couple thousand pieces."
"That's why I intend to take a shuttle alone."
"Listen, I want to help Seven as much as anyone," indeed, it was difficult to stand on the bridge and argue for caution when she was in sickbay, "but if we're not careful, we'll all end up with cortical nodes. You need someone to go with you."
"I'll be careful."
He was on the verge of suggesting he go with her, needing to be useful and do his part to ensure the success of the mission, but Tom interrupted.
"You'll need a good pilot." Tom strode forward.
"Accompanied by a competent tactical officer," said Tuvok.
"You shouldn't do this by yourself, Captain," Chakotay insisted. Besides not wanting his captain and friend to be assimilated or killed, the simple truth was that chances of success were higher if she had backup. If her success meant saving Seven, he'd do everything he could to help, even if it meant staying on Voyager and letting others accompany her.
Looking around at the determined faces, Janeway sighed. "Well then gentlemen, I guess you're with me."
Chakotay watched them go and then forced himself to sit in his chair, all the time torn between wanting to run to check on Seven and honour his duty to remain at his post. He satisfied himself with the determination he would check on her at the first break he got. In the meantime, he could help both her and the away team by doing his job.
[Sickbay]
Seven was resting, just on the verge of sleep when Icheb called her attention. Her reaction was anything but welcoming.
The Doctor looked up from his desk to see Seven sitting, Icheb in front of her. It clearly wasn't a pleasant conversation. He was about to intervene, but another figure entered sickbay then. He was surprised enough that he hesitated to stand.
"Icheb. Seven." Chakotay saw immediately by their body language that they were arguing, but could think of no logical reason for the two to be at odds.
"Commander." Icheb nodded to him. Seven looked away.
"I see we had the same idea, Icheb." He looked at Seven, who resolutely avoided his gaze. When he drew close, he had to stifle a gasp. It was impossible to miss the newly exposed metal in her cheek and neck.
"The Captain said Seven was unwell."
"I'm fine." Seven glared at him. He glared right back.
"Then why are you in sickbay?"
"Is there a problem here?" The Doctor figured things had gone far enough. He waved for the two men to follow him, but only Icheb obeyed. Chakotay nodded to show he understood his presence was conditional on good behavior.
Chakotay waited for Icheb and the Doctor to disappear before addressing Seven. He moved closer, placed a hand on hers despite the way she refused to look at him. "So, you want to tell me what that was about?"
"I wish to be left alone."
"Does that include me?"
"Yes."
His thumb rubbed lightly on her hand. "You really want me to go?"
Seven looked away, for once wishing she left her hair loose so it could cover the evidence of her illness. At her response, Chakotay took her hand fully.
"Please don't push me away, not when I want to help."
"I don't… I don't want company."
"No, you don't want to be seen as anything less than perfect, but no one is perfect, not even you."
"I am aware of that," she interrupted angrily, "but I have always strived for perfection regardless of my own failings. I am also aware the human ideal does not match that of the Borg. It is irrelevant."
"You didn't let me finish." He gave her hand a bit of a shake, drawing her attention from her anger and back to him though she still avoided his gaze. "I was going to say that it doesn't matter. None of us are perfect, no matter what the goal is, but people who care about you will see past any imperfections you think you have."
Seven tried to retort, but he stopped her.
"I'm not saying we shouldn't all strive to better ourselves, but these little things you think are weaknesses really don't matter to anyone but you. Do you understand?"
She sighed, giving a brief nod.
"I like you just the way you are."
"Your statement seems questionable."
He shook his head, smiling despite some frustration. "And yet it's true."
"I like you as well."
"Glad to hear it. So, how are you feeling?"
"Weak." She admitted it reluctantly, grinding it out as though her illness were a conscious enemy she despised.
Chakotay glanced back, but the Doctor and Icheb were still out of sight. He touched the newly exposed metal on her cheek. "Illness is not the same as weakness."
"That is not the way it feels."
"I know, but you have to trust me that it's true."
"The Borg are unaccustomed to feeling this way."
"Well, you're human now and that does make you slightly more prone to illness, more vulnerable." His finger continued to stroke the metal at her cheek. "But luckily because we're more vulnerable, we pull together when one of our own is in need."
"I'd still prefer to be less vulnerable."
"I know." He smiled. Another quick glance behind him confirmed they were still alone. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. The move surprised her enough to make her finally look at him. A faint blush tinged the spot his lips had touched.
"I'm sorry I ruined our date."
He shook his head, amused. "I prefer to think of it as postponed. When this is all over, I'll make anything you want for dinner."
"That is acceptable." She smiled, but inside was worried they wouldn't get the chance.
"Good." His smile faded. "I have to go."
Disappointment warred with relief to be away from his observance. A quick kiss and he was gone, leaving Seven to her isolation and concern.
She considered calling Icheb back, but despite Chakotay's comforting words, she simply couldn't tolerate the thought of him seeing her. It was bad enough that Chakotay, the Doctor, and Captain Janeway were witness to her malfunction.
[Sickbay]
Seven glanced around sickbay nervously. "They should have finished the simulation by now."
"I'm sure they'll let you know as soon as they do. It's your move." Neelix watched her, apprehension hidden behind a careful façade of friendliness bordering on ditzy. Truth was he was just as worried as she was about the delay, but he took comfort and pride in being able to take her mind off it.
"Don't you have more important duties to attend to?" Despite the moderate distraction his visit provided, she had as much a problem with his presence as she did with Icheb or anyone else's. Chakotay had worked his way into her good graces, but it faded fairly quickly after he departed. To be seen as weak, imperfect, unable to sustain herself… it was intolerable no matter what he said. And yet Neelix was still there for those same reasons. She knew very well that he and the Doctor manipulated her into a Kadis-kot match, all because of her pride. The irony was not lost on her.
"Nothing that can't wait." True, the lunch and dinner rush would be handled by Chell and he had to reschedule a game night with the Wildmans, but some things were worth a little trouble.
"Despite what the Doctor told you, I feel perfectly fine." She rolled her shoulders back, straightening her spine as though to prove it. She ignored the pain in her lower back and the way her shoulders ached.
"Really? Because it looks to me like you're about to lose." He grinned, satisfied with himself, his grin widening when she looked at him sharply.
Barely glancing at the board, Seven moved her pieces quickly in position to win the game. "Kadis-kot."
Neelix examined the board incredulously. "I should have seen that coming. Ah well, that makes what, sixteen to three, your lead?"
"Sixteen to two." Just because she allowed them to orchestrate this diversion, didn't mean she would let them think her mental prowess was at all diminished.
"Oh, my mistake." He smiled, easily able to admit to the error. He began to set up the board again when Janeway and the Doctor entered. He wasn't encouraged by the grim set of their faces. "Oh, I should really see how things are going in the mess hall, but I'll be back later for a rematch."
Seven, anxious to hear the results of the simulations, only barely remembered to nod to him. "Are you ready to proceed?"
Captain Janeway shook her head sadly. "According to the simulations, the salvaged node isn't going to work. I'm sorry."
[Sickbay]
Denied her request to return to duty, Seven waited patiently for an opportunity. Once Janeway left, Seven got off the bed and set about her escape.
Less than an hour later…
The Doctor attached his mobile emitter and picked up a medical kit and tossed it to Icheb. "Take this and search the upper decks. I'll start on the lower."
Icheb nodded and they left sickbay to begin their search.
Icheb hadn't gotten further than the turbolift, however, before a thought struck him. Two people couldn't search the whole ship very quickly and they would fail if Seven moved. They needed help, but if they alerted the Captain to ask for assistance, it would be an uproar. That left…
"Icheb to Commander Chakotay."
"Chakotay here."
"Meet me in astrometrics."
On the bridge, Chakotay and Captain Janeway shared an amused look and shrug.
[Astrometrics]
"Missing?" Chakotay ran a stressed hand over his face. "How long?"
"Approximately two hours. I was hoping you could assist with the search."
Chakotay nodded, his thoughts already bouncing around the ship to the most likely places Seven would seek refuge.
"We didn't want to alert the Captain…"
"No, I understand." Only three regular haunts came to mind and astrometrics was one of them. Of course, she wouldn't return if she was trying to hide, nor would she go to the cargo bay.
"Commander?"
"The Doctor is on the lower decks?"
Icheb nodded.
"Tell him to start in engineering. Actually, wait." He tapped his badge. "Chakotay to B'Elanna."
"B'Elanna here."
"Is Seven in engineering?"
"Not that I know of. I thought she was supposed to be in sickbay." She drew the words out slowly, confused.
"Can you look and let the Doctor know if she is down there?"
"Sure."
Chakotay sighed, every moment raising his agitation and concern. He nodded to Icheb. "You take the aft. We'll work our way down."
Icheb nodded and they left astrometrics, each sporting frowns as they considered the difficulty of their task. Neither mentioned it, but they both felt the urgency behind their search as they considered the possibility Seven had fallen ill in some remote corner of Voyager. If they didn't find her in time...
[Engineering]
Engineering, truly the heart of any starship, was busy and bustling, but B'Elanna's quick glance around failed to locate the blonde. Still, there were nooks and crannies for a person to hide.
Her badge beeped again.
"Chakotay to B'Elanna."
"Go ahead." Amusement warred with exasperation. Did he think she had nothing better to do?
"Any sign of Seven?"
"Nothing. I'll let you and the Doctor know if she turns up."
"Thank you. Make sure you let the Doctor know right away. He's pretty worried."
He's clearly not the only one. "I figured. Don't worry, Chakotay. I'll remember."
As though Chakotay's words were psychic, the Doctor entered not fifteen minutes later, his frown and quick step as agitated as she'd ever seen.
"Doctor –"
"Is Seven here?"
It struck B'Elanna as odd that Chakotay would call to have her search on behalf of the EMH if the Doctor was already on his way to search for himself. That coupled with the strain in her friend's voice, audible even over the comm system, and his duplicate call left B'Elanna very suspicious. "No."
"All right." The Doctor glanced around. "Call me if she shows up."
"Sure thing." She made sure to keep her voice even, unassuming. "Do you want me to also let Chakotay know if I see her?"
"No, I don't want to resort to that just yet." He sighed dramatically. "Though if she doesn't turn up soon, I'm going right to the Captain."
Strange. B'Elanna's curiosity was definitely tickled.
[Engineering]
I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.
The continuous repetition in her head only quieted when she was immersed in work so she found a place to hide. She knew that on a small ship like Voyager she could only stay hidden for so long. Luckily, it was not the Doctor who found her first. She was even more surprised to find herself in a philosophical discussion with her nemesis.
"I think you're a bit more memorable than you give yourself credit for. Can I give you a friendly suggestion?" B'Elanna held up a hand at Seven's raised brow. "Just a friendly suggestion."
Seven bobbed her head in a short nod.
"Talk to Chakotay." She smiled at the way Seven immediately turned back to her work. Yes, her suspicions were correct on that score. "He's more spiritual than I am if that's what you want help with. And besides, you're in a relationship with him now –"
"How did you—"
"—and the most important thing about being in a relationship is that when problems come up, you need to discuss it. Trust me. I learned that the hard way."
Seven, though she sighed and internally fought what she already knew was true, nodded. "I will."
"Good."
"Lieutenant, how did you know the Commander and I are seeing each other?"
"Just a lucky guess... and he called me earlier. Sounded pretty upset that you weren't where you were supposed to be." She smiled. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"And Lieutenant Paris?"
"Ignorant and I won't tell him. That man is a bigger gossip than any female I know."
"There you are." The Doctor glared up at them, glad he'd decided to take a better look in engineering. "I should have known she'd be the one to harbour a fugitive."
"We difficult patients have to stick together." B'Elanna crossed her arms, feigning a nonchalance despite the deepness of her conversation with Seven.
B'Elanna was not surprised when two hours later Chakotay appeared in engineering for no other reason than to see Seven. He didn't actually go speak to her, just drew close enough to see for himself that she was okay. She didn't see him and the tense set of his jaw convinced B'Elanna that a meeting would be best saved for later.