I stood completely stunned and speechless as I stared at Negan. It had been over a month since I had seen him—an entire month where I was left wondering if he was even going to come back—an entire month of guilt and regrets—an entire month of questioning everything that happened between us.

Now he back, and he looked the same as the day he had walked away. He was wearing his leather jacket, a white t-shirt and a pair of spotless gray pants. The sun shined bright off the top of his head and Lucille's sharp barbs.

I remained frozen for an uncomfortable amount of time before I processed what he had said:

"I think someone's been skipping school to go to the mall."

But we hadn't gone to Greenbrier; Derek and Charlotte always came to Doveport.

Negan was confused, which told me that he didn't know everything. I tried to figure out how much he knew by reading his face, but he just continued to stare at me with a cocky grin.

"Are you gonna let me in?" he asked, gesturing towards the school with his bat.

"No," I finally spoke, gripping the gate with my hand. "You need to leave." I was surprised at how confident I sounded. His presence was really throwing me off, but I wasn't going to let him just walk back into my life like nothing happened.

"Why's that? Are you expecting company?" Negan raised his brows, and I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't want to let him in, especially when Derek and Charlotte would be here any minute. He couldn't know they were coming, but he was teasing me nonetheless.

I went to shut the gate in his face, but Negan reached out and grabbed it. He easily forced it open, and then pushed past me to enter inside the walls.

Everyone's heads shot up to see him appear, and Negan walked across the school parking lot as if he owned the place. Amy had been waiting by the front of the school for Charlotte, and I could see her startled expression from across the yard. Vivienne looked up from where she was kneeling in her garden, and Ryan and Eric both stood up next to the car. No one moved. The calm atmosphere was replaced in an instant with dread.

"Momma Bear!" Negan exclaimed, spotting Amy and making his way to where she was standing. He extended his arms out as if he was going to hug her, but Amy didn't reciprocate the action. She gave him a bewildered look as he let his arms fall and let out a booming laugh. He turned to look at where Vivienne was watching him.

"Got anything good for me, Viv?" he asked, winking at her.

I marched across the lot to where he was and grabbed his arm roughly, pulling him so he would face me.

"You want to talk? Let's go talk." I needed to get him inside and away from the others. I could see how scared they all were seeing Negan, and I knew it was only a matter of time before Greenbrier showed up.

"Fine by me, Elle." Negan smirked down at me. He was enjoying everyone's uneasiness, including mine. Letting go of his arm, I headed towards the front doors of the school and passed by Amy who's face was scrunched in worry.

"It's okay," I muttered to her under my breath as I passed by her. It wasn't, and we both knew that. We had told Greenbrier that Negan wasn't coming to Doveport anymore. Now he was here, and his presence could hurt the trust we had built with our new friends.

Amy didn't respond and turned her head away as Negan walked by her and followed me into the school. I walked briskly down the hall and Negan matched my pace. Then he suddenly grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks.

"Let's go to your room," he suggested with a sly smile. His hand rubbed at my shoulder, but I pulled away from him.

"We can talk in the office." I gave him a serious look, and he grinned wide.

"Sounds good to me. I've always wanted to bang you on that big desk."

I rolled my eyes and continued on my way to the principal's office. He was certainly in a mood, but I was having none of it.

Once we were both inside, I pulled the door closed and then faced him. He set his bat down against a little table and studied me silently. His eyes were hooded, and he started to open his mouth to speak when I cut him off.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I demanded in a sharp tone.

"I missed you," he said, but it sounded more seductive than sincere; his voice was thick with lust. If he thought he could come in here and wear me down with his charm, he had another thing coming.

"That's bullshit. It's been a month, Negan. We both know the last time you were here, we left on bad terms."

"I'm over it." He shrugged and turned his back towards me to walk over to the desk and absentmindedly study it. He was avoiding the subject, and I used that to my advantage.

"Yeah, I don't buy that for a second." I approached him and stepped into his line of sight. "You're here for another reason. You mentioned Greenbrier."

Negan looked up and met my gaze with a smirk.

"I didn't mention Greenbrier. Just the mall."

I didn't look away as he studied my face and clenched my jaw. He was right—he hadn't specifically said anything about Greenbrier, but we both knew what he was talking about.

I tilted my head to the side. "And?" I challenged.

Negan let out a booming laugh and it caught me off guard. I watched him puzzled as he reached up to scratch his head.

"Well shit. You're not even gonna fuckin' deny it, huh? Been hanging out with the Mallrats a lot these days? What do you think about the place? Personally I think it's a bit gaudy."

"We haven't been to Greenbrier. They come here." I leaned against the desk and watched for his reaction. He nodded, taking in what I was saying.

"Either way, I knew you were in cahoots with them the moment they started sending vegetables. Hard to grow those in a fucking mall." Negan glanced out the window where I could see a part of Vivienne's garden. Everyone had gone back to working on their previous tasks, but I could sense their nervousness even from inside the office. I had been too focused on establishing a good relationship with Greenbrier that Negan catching on about the vegetables hadn't even crossed my mind.

"We weren't trying to hide our friendship with them," I explained, and it was the truth. I had thought he was done with us, and we were just trying to survive. "Greenbrier asked for our help, so we helped them."

"Well we're gonna go back to you giving me your shit and Greenbrier can provide for themselves." Negan scrunched his nose and smiled mockingly.

"They're good people, Negan."

His overconfidence faded fast, and he stared at me a long time before narrowing his eyes.

"Are you fucking him?" he asked in a low voice.

"What?!" I blurted, eyes wide and confused.

"Derek. You're sleeping with him, right?"

I stared at him appalled, not knowing what the hell to say to that. He gestured with his hand, expecting an answer.

"No!" I exclaimed as I stood up from the desk. Negan pursed his lips and nodded knowingly—he didn't believe me.

"So I leave for a couple weeks and you went straight to the first fucking guy to walk into your life." It wasn't a question. He seriously thought I was with had happened between us. Negan was assuming way too much and it infuriated me.

I rolled my eyes and shoved past him to head for the door, not wanting to hear his bullshit any longer. Even if it wasn't true, I didn't belong to Negan.

"I'd be careful if I was you…" I went to leave, but Negan followed me over and placed a hand on the door, keeping it closed.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I turned to face him with a smirk. "You'll figure it out soon enough." Maybe Derek needed to knock him down a peg or two.

"I don't think I should have to remind you that I'm the one who saved your ass from Caleb. You should really reconsider where your loyalty lies." He took a step so he was even closer and stared down at me with fire in his eyes.

"You said you wanted to leave me with him!" I challenged, practically snarling as I spoke. He couldn't intimidate me with these tactics anymore; being in my personal space might have worked in the past, but we had almost been intimate together. He didn't scare me anymore.

As if he had the same thought, Negan's entire demeanor changed; his eyes trailed down my body and then back up to my face.

"God, I love it when you get angry." He bit his lip and reached up to touch my face, but I stepped further into the principal's office and away from him.

"I'm not doing this with you, Negan." I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Doing what?" I could hear him approaching me from behind and I took a deep breath.

"I'm not going to let you just walk back in here and demand we work for you, and I'm not gonna let you flirt your way back into my life. Last time you were here, I brought up Lucille, and that wasn't fair, but…" I froze, realizing that I needed to be honest with him if I ever expected him to be honest with me. Turning to face him, I was surprised to see he had a serious expression and he surprisingly waited for me to continue.

"I didn't understand why you brought me home. I still don't get it. Yes, I wanted to come back to Doveport, but you weren't too keen on the idea until after we almost…"

I couldn't finish the sentence, but he knew what I was referring to. I remembered the feeling of his hands on my body and the way his mouth felt kissing against my skin. I sighed and then continued to put all my cards on the table.

"You left me for a month because you don't need me. You've got Frankie, Amber, Tanya and the others. We keep pretending like something is happening here Negan, but who the hell are we kidding? Nothing is ever going to come of this."

I didn't know why I was choosing then to spill my heart out, but I didn't know when he might run off again. Part of me didn't want him to, but another part—the logistical side—knew we were chasing an unobtainable fantasy. I couldn't let myself continue to fall into something so complicated with him.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and then slowly approached me. I looked away as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me towards him.

"I came back, didn't I?" His voice was heavy, and he had an almost gentle smile.

Stepping away from him again, I shook my head.

"Yeah, because of Greenbrier. You're afraid we're working together to take you out. You're here to make sure I'm still loyal to you." It was a guess, but an educated one. Negan hadn't come here because he missed me—he came back because the moment he got those vegetables he knew that Derek and I were allies.

Negan didn't answer me right away and then whispered, "Are you?"

I swallowed and looked away from him. It hurt me to know that the only reason he was back was to make sure I wasn't going to betray him.

"I'm loyal to Doveport," I mumbled, closing my eyes and willing myself not to get upset over him anymore. "We're not getting involved."

"Sweetheart, you became involved the moment you let those Mallrats in." His voice was soft, but he didn't try to reach out to touch me again. We were still standing so close to one another, and I wondered if he could already tell how much Greenbrier meant to me.

Taking a deep breath I looked up at him.

"I care about them. I don't want to see anyone get hurt. That includes you."

Negan gazed into my eyes for a long time; his lips were a thin line, and then he sighed.

"I'm sorry I left."

It took me an extra second to realize what he was saying. The apology took me by surprise and almost knocked me onto my ass. He seemed sincere as he continued to gaze into my eyes.

"I got some shit I'm trying to work out right now with some other communities. I wanted to come see you sooner, but I got tied up. I missed you, Elle. And sure, we both said some stuff that was pretty fucking nasty, but I don't hold it against you."

I couldn't believe it. Negan's rare, heartfelt moments always came as such a shock. I didn't know what to say as I stared up at him, and a small smile spread on my face at his confession.

I realized he may not have come here to make up with me, but it was happening regardless. Maybe I shouldn't have been so forgiving, but all I had wanted was for him to return so I could give him an apology. I had never expected to get one back from him.

Negan smiled back at me and then closed what little distance was between us.

"Though, I would like to hold something against you…" He wrapped his arms around my waist and started to pull me into his arms when I turned my head to press against his chest, accepting his embrace. Looking out the window, I watched as the gate was pulled open.

Derek and Charlotte.

Fuck.

Backing away from Negan, I quickly headed for the door. He walked over to the window to see out it, and then followed me, making sure to grab his bat on his way out.

The moment we exited the school, Charlotte and Derek both turned to watch us approach. I could see Derek's scowl from across the yard, and Charlotte's worried expression. Once we were before them, Charlotte stepped up to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, eyes trained on me. She appeared to be ignoring Negan's presence while Derek continued to glare at him.

"Yes. I'm fine. Negan was just leaving." I gave him a stern look, but Negan ignored it. Instead, he put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him.

"That's funny, Elle. I just fucking got here. I figured I'd hang out with my favorite school friends. I wasn't gonna go to the mall until tomorrow."

Derek watched as Negan squeezed me into his side. I gave Derek an apologetic look, but he averted his eyes away.

Amy hurried over and was standing quietly behind Negan and me before speaking up.

"Hey, Charlotte. Do you want to help me with something inside?" I could tell she was just trying to offer Charlotte an out of the intense situation. Negan let me go to turn and face Amy.

"You don't want my help, Momma Bear?" he teased.

"No. It's just-"

"Sweet. I'll come too." Negan winked at Charlotte, who was clearly annoyed, but didn't say anything. The three of them headed towards the school, which left me alone with Derek.

"You lied to me," he said flatly.

"I didn't. I swear to you, we haven't seen him in a month. He just showed up." I was practically pleading with him to believe me.

Derek stared at me for a few moments; he seemed to be indecisive.

"What does he want?"

"He wants us to give supplies to him instead of giving them to you," I admitted.

Derek closed his eyes and let out a huff. "Elle, I need to know if I can trust you," he said, bringing up two fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Of course you can," I said softly.

Derek opened his eyes and glanced over my shoulder to look at the school and then back at me.

"I'm getting ready to make a move on Negan."

It took every ounce of self control not to gulp.

I didn't want him to hurt Negan. I could understand standing up to him, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he intended to do something worse.

"You need to wait before doing anything rash. You can't just jump the gun on this one, Derek," I said quietly, trying to remain calm.

"I'm not jumping the gun. I'm confident now that I can take the bastard out."

I physically shuddered, but Derek was too busy watching the school to notice my reaction. I was terrified.

He was really going to kill Negan.

"Let me talk to him. I can work something out. Something that doesn't end with anyone getting hurt." I hoped I didn't sound as desperate as I felt. Derek shook his head.

"No, it has to be this way."

"What way?" I asked, taking a step toward him and staring at him with wide eyes. What did he have planned? What was he going to do to Negan?

Derek ignored my question and walked past me to go into the school. I stood in front of the gate, shocked and unable to move. I had to figure out what to do, but I was at a crossroads.

I needed to protect Negan, but I knew once he found out Derek was planning something he would kill him—after all, Negan eliminated his enemies. I didn't want Derek and Charlotte to die either, but Derek wasn't going to listen to me. Negan wouldn't either. Both men were incredibly stubborn, and I knew I was going to have to choose to help one of them. Negan was right. The moment I let Greenbrier into Doveport, I put myself right in the middle of all of it.

A few minutes later, Derek and Charlotte exited the school and headed my way. Amy and Negan followed shortly after, and I could hear Negan calling out to the siblings, asking them where they were going. Derek didn't respond to him, and simply came up to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder, he leaned in so his mouth was by my ear.

"Soon we'll all be free of Negan's wrath."

I stood completely still as he headed out the gate with Charlotte. They got into their car that was parked behind Negan's truck and I watched as it drove off down the road. As it disappeared, Negan came to stand next to me.

"What did he say?" he inquired, staring out the gate, same as me.

I looked away from the road and up at him with a hard expression.

"You need to stop making enemies and leave those people alone," I warned him.

Negan's eyes scanned my face a few times and he frowned.

"Is Derek going to try something?" he asked.

I couldn't betray Derek, but I didn't want to see Negan get hurt. Thinking of my words carefully, I stared up at him and whispered, "Don't make me choose."

Negan nodded in understanding, and took what I said as confirmation. I had successfully warned him without having to betray Derek, but I was still scared. I didn't know what Derek had planned, just that it would result in heartache.

Negan was staring off into the distance when his gaze returned to me and he smiled, noticing my concern.

"Don't worry. I can handle Derek. And I won't be staying away like that from now on. I could have just continued to take the vegetables from the fucking Mallrats, but I'd much rather get them from you."

I smiled slightly as he smirked down at me and then turned to head towards his truck.

"I'll be back in a week," he said over his shoulder.

"Two weeks," I called out.

Negan froze in his tracks. The reference to an argument we had weeks ago—an argument that had resulted in our first kiss had him reacting in a way I couldn't see as his back was facing me.

"Be careful," I added, taking the opportunity to say something else to him. I wasn't sure if he would really come back in a week or not, but I needed him to stay safe. I couldn't bare the idea of something happening to him.

I was startled when he spun on his feet and headed back towards me. In one fast motion, Negan cupped my face in his hand, he tilted my head up and his lips found mine in a passionate kiss. I melted into it and closed my eyes, having my breath stolen away from being taken off guard.

His lips moved against mine for a few moments and then he broke away. He gazed down at me with such vehemence that I didn't care if Doveport was watching—in that moment, it was just the two of us standing there. That intense passion we shared was just as strong as the day he had stormed out, and I didn't want to let him go.

"I will," he promised, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to mine.

"Negan…" I whispered, wanting to invite him to stay. If he left, there was a chance he could get hurt. If I could just keep him at Doveport—keep him in my arms—he would be safe.

But without another word, Negan pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and then headed out towards his truck.

As I watched it pull away, I could feel the other Doveporters' eyes on my back. Negan had kissed me in front of everyone, which meant our little connection was no longer a secret. But I didn't care—I was relieved that they knew.

I still didn't entirely understand it, but I did know one thing for certain: from that point on, my neutrality was only going to get harder to maintain.