I had spent all afternoon in the kitchen preparing Sofia's favourite dinner and even making one of her favourite desserts in attempt to make the night special. Arizona and I had decided tonight was the night we told Sofia she was going to have a sibling. We hadn't really talked about the idea of another child with Sofia before nor did we know her opinion on it so we really were going into this conversation blind to how Sofia would react.
Arizona and I had read everything on the internet on how to break the news to your child and everything we read talked about making sure they knew would be loved no matter what. I thought that seemed obvious but then again I had no idea how Sofia might feel about the jaw dropping news.
Arizona had spent the afternoon out with Sofia. Arizona had taken Sofia to build a bear workshop followed by a swim at the pools. I heard the click at the door and before I knew it, Sofia was running into the kitchen her bear gripped firmly in her hands.
"Mummy guess who we saw at the pool?' Sofia asked as she ran into the room her hair pulled up into a wet bun.
"Who baby?" I asked giving the growing girl my undivided attention.
"Bailey and Zola," she said excitedly. "Elis wasn't there because she is just a baby,' Sofia explained as if I didn't know that myself.
"Was Aunt Meredith there too?" I asked her while Arizona took Sofia's wet togs through to the laundry.
"Nope but Aunt Amelia was," she said as she climbed up onto the stool so she could watch the spaghetti bolognese cook. "Mama also took me to make my very own teddy," Sofia said as she held the bear out in front of her, "his name is Henry," she remarked before she gazed into the pot I was stirring.
"Ohh yummy Mummy," she said before she climbed down off the stool.
"Sof can you set that table for me?" I asked her. Sofia nodded, placed her bear on the chair and went about the task she was assigned.
Arizona walked into the kitchen and we shared a quick kiss before she began helping Sofia. I dished out the food, poured us all a glass of ice water and we sat down to eat like we did most nights. We had decided earlier that day that we would feed her up with desert before we dropped the bomb shell on her.
Dinner and dessert was fabulous, everybody agreed. I was stuffed full when I finally made the decision to leave the table. Arizona and Sofia stacked the dishwasher together while I rested on the couch, my feet hurting ever so slightly from my work shoes.
"Sof," I called.
"Sof, your Mother is calling you," Arizona said as she finished up the last of the dishes. Sofia walked over to me and at my request climbed into my arms. She was getting too big for these sorts of cuddles but today seemed like as good as day as any to enjoy a cuddle with my growing girl.
"Mama," I called out for Arizona to join us. Arizona put the dishwashing tablet in, closed the door, wiped her hands and walked over to the lounge, sitting on the other side of the couch.
"Sof your Mama and I wanted to tell you something pretty exciting," I started off by saying. Sof didn't seem very interested, like usual she was fiddling with my necklace, a habit she picked up as a baby.
"Sofia," Arizona said as she tried to capture the girls attention. "You know how much Mama and I love you, don't you?" she asked. Sofia nodded. 'We love you all the way to the moon," she said, a saying that they regularly used to measure their love.
"What about to the stars and the other planets?" Sofia asked playfully.
"We love you as far and as much as any galaxy will let us," I said as I kissed her head. Sofia grumbled, "you'll get your sticky stuff on my head," Sofia said in reference to my lip balm.
"Sofia how would you feel about having a little brother or a little sister?" Arizona finally asked. Sofia shrugged, "I don't know," she said aimlessly; not the answer I was expecting. "What if we were to tell you that Mummy is pregnant," Arizona added.
Sofia spun around and looked at me, as if to check it was true, "Mummy is not pregnant," she challenged as she looked down at my belly.
"I am pregnant Sof, I have a little baby growing inside my uterus." Arizona and I had always tried our best to use proper terminology, especially when talking medicine. It made conversations like this slightly easier to have.
"Mum how could you be pregnant without daddy?" she asked slightly confused.
"There is this procedure called IVF that helps same sex couples like your Mum and I have children," Arizona explained. Sofia still looked puzzled.
"What do they do?" Sofia asked. It appeared she was more interested about the process than the concept of having a sibling. The fact she didn't get angry or sad was a win in my books.
"Well you know you need sperm and an egg to make a baby. The doctors took one of my eggs and we mixed it with some sperm from a man your Mum and I agreed on," Sofia interrupted with another question.
"Where did you get the sperm from?" Sofia asked.
Arizona nodded, noting it was a good question. "There are places where men go to sell their sperm so that people that can't have babies the traditional way can buy the sperm. We got it from there," Arizona said waiting for Sofia's next question that was bound to come.
"So it's your egg and a man's sperm mixed together, but it's inside my Mummy," Sofia stated trying to repeat the facts as far as she knew them.
"Yes," Arizona answered.
"Why not inside of you?" she asked; another good question.
"Your Mama and I talked about it and we decided that I would carry the baby," I said simply. There was more to it than that but divolging the fact that Arizona didn't want to carry the baby seemed a bit too advanced for Sofia to understand.
"Do you know the sperm man?" Sofia asked. I shook my head. "It's all a secret," Arizona added. There was silence for a moment while Sofia digested all the information.
"When is the baby going to come?" she asked.
"A while yet, it will give you time to practice being a good big sister," I said with a smile. Sofia smiled back. She seemed unsure of the whole process, maybe because the concept was so abstract at this point. Maybe when I was actually showing the little girl might have more of a reaction.
"Are you excited Sof?" Arizona asked.
Sofia nodded "Do you think the baby would want my teddy bear?" she asked.
"I think so," I said with a smile. Already Sofia was a great big sister.
Sofia began wiggling off my lap, "I'm going to draw a picture for the baby," she said before running up the stairs. Arizona looked at me before pulling me into her body her arms falling over my shoulders. It was done. That was one less thing to worry about. "I don't think she understands fully," I muttered.
"She is only 7, I don't think she particularly cares how, she is just excited she is going to have a baby brother or sister," Arizona assured me.
"Or both," I added.
Arizona leant her chin on my shoulder as silence loomed for a moment, "How are you feeling about the idea of twins?" Arizona asked quietly.
I shrugged, as Sofia had when we asked her how she felt about having a baby in the house. "Nervous. I know we aren't sure yet but I feel like I've already fallen in love with two babies," I admitted.
Arizona nodded, she felt the same way. "We will deal with it either way," Arizona assured me as she kissed my cheek and held me tightly.
The next two weeks were torture. I was sick everyday and it was getting harder and harder to hide it. Arizona and I had spent a great deal of time trying to remind ourselves that we might not be having twins but a fat lot of use it was doing us; we were both heavily invested in the concept of two children.
I was 10 ½ weeks pregnant when Dr Juarn called us into her office to have our second ultrasound. We opted to bring Sofia because we thought seeing it might make it more real for her. Arizona held my hand to her lips, our eyes locked on the screen silently as we waited for Dr Juarn to pull up the image. Sofia stood on a chair behind my head her eyes settled in the same direction. We had informed her of the possibility of two babies and she was just as excited about the big reveal. When the picture came up, it took less than a second for a smile to appear on Arizona's face, there was a second baby and from what she could see at first glance, it was healthy. I didn't see it at first, it wasn't until Arizona kissed my head and a tear fell onto my face that I knew I was officially carrying twins. I looked up at Arizona to confirm the news that nobody had said aloud and behind her drops of tears she nodded, "There are two," she whispered against my lips. I was shocked, my eyes darting from Arizona's back to the ultrasound machine. "Here that Sof, you are going to have twin siblings," Arizona said as she kissed Sofia who was jumping up and down slightly on her chair with an intoxicating excitement.
"It seems you have two healthy wee ones growing at a very good rate," Dr Juarn said as she showed us the heartbeat of both babies, each heart equally strong.
Arizona, Sofia and I went out for afternoon tea to celebrate. Sofia talked about all the things she wanted to do with 'her babies' when they were born. Hearing her refer to them as her babies always made me smile.
"Remember Sof, you can't tell anybody yet. It's a big secret," I reminded her for the 100th time since she found out about the pregnancy.
'I know," she grumbled. "Mama, can the babies live in my room?" Sofia asked curiously. '"I will stop snoring so the babies can sleep good" she said sincerely.
Arizona kissed her little head with a disbelief at how cute she was, "no baby," she said against her head. "The babies will have their own room because babies aren't very good sleepers," Arizona explained. Sofia looked disappointed but seemed to understand.
Going into our second trimester meant the end of morning sickness and the arrival of a small baby bump. Arizona and I realised we were going to have to tell people sooner or later but we had got so used to it being our little secret that it seemed strange to tell people now. Now the morning sickness had faded I was back to a heavier workload, I was adamant that I could be both a surgeon, a mother and an incubator.
"Torres, bed 4," April called as she moved on hectically to her next patient. I had just arrived in the pit at Aprils request to check on a broken ankle. I was convinced one of the residents, even one of the more competent interns could have tended to a broken ankle but April had suggested I come myself. I grabbed the clipboard for bed 4 and I walked in, drawing the curtains behind me, "Mr Langdom, I'm Dr Torres. What have you done…" I looked up causing me to cease speaking. The man's ankle bone was piercing his skin and his ankle consequently looked to be on backwards. "Mr Langdom," I said as I put the clipboard down at the end of the bed and I walked over to check Mr Langdom's vitals. The man couldn't be more than 25 years old, he was alone with a severely broken ankle and seemed to be dropping in and out of consciousness. I grabbed my light, opened his eyes and shone the light over his eyes; he was out cold. I pulled the curtains open and looked around, I needed help. Why this kid wasn't being monitored better was beyond me.
"Oi you," I called to an intern that I didn't even know the name of. "Get yourself an intern buddy and take this man up to the first available OR." The intern nodded and immediately set to work. "Kepner" I called as I crossed the busy pit to the redhead, "Who is assigned to bed 4? He was passed out because of the pain of a severe ankle break," I said slightly annoyed.
"I don't know Torres, we are two doctors down and half the nurses are at that stupid lecture," she grumbled.
"You called me?" Pierce said as she ran into the pit.
"Bed 7, heart transplant patient. Free for all on interns and nurses," April muttered before walking off again.
I shook my head and headed off towards the OR hoping to find a spare doctor on my way. Just as I rounded the corner into the surgical lounge I found Mr Langdom sitting in the hallway, unattended. "Why is Mr Langdom in the hallway?" I asked the closest nurse my anger evident in my voice. The nurse shrugged as she continued on her journey. I walked over to Mr Langdom, put my stethoscope on and checked his heartbeat, he was out cold but he was stable for now. If the foot was to get infected it would be a race against the clock to make sure the infection didn't spread and the foot would have to be removed. For now, however, he appeared to be fine.
I grabbed one of the OR organiser iPads from the surgical station and I glanced through all the booked OR's in attempt to rejuggle a few surgeries.
"What the heck happened to that guy?" Karev asked as he looked the guy over, "Is he even alive?" he asked curiously.
"Yes he is alive," I snapped. "What the heck is happening today? The interns and the nurses are all missing," I muttered angrily as I tapped away at the iPad.
"Nurses are at that seminar thing, won't be done until 2 and the interns are all studying for their finals. Did you not get the memo, organised surgeries only," Karev said.
"Organised surgeries only? 99% of our friggen surgeries are emergencies, including this one. If I don't get this guy into surgery now he risks losing his foot. He is only 25," I said to Karev, half begging for his help.
"Robbins is about to go into OR 2, maybe she could bump her surgery," Karev suggested.
"I don't even have a nurse or an anesthesiologist or another doctor," I reminded him.
"Robbins has a whole team. How long will your surgery take? 3 hours, max?" Karev asked before looking at the foot, "maybe 5," he added.
"I could be 3, it could 5 but I could get in there and it could take a whole lot longer," I said as I clicked on Arizona's booked time slot. Her patient was a 4 year old cancer patient who was going in for what they hoped was his last surgery. They were removing a tumor from inside the kids abdomen, it seemed pretty routine.
"Speak of the devil," Karev said as Arizona rounded the corner alone. "Where is your patient?" Karev asked.
"I've got a couple of interns prepping her," Arizona replied.
"How did you get interns?" I asked her curiously my eyes finally shooting up from the iPad.
"Peads is always over staffed, can't let the tiny humans die," she said with a carefree smile.
"What are the chances the kid will make it through the night?" Karev asked bluntly.
"You're not taking my OR Karev," she said defensively her hands burying into the pockets of her scrubs.
"It's not for him, I need an OR," I said half heartedly. "This guy came into the pit, he has a severely broken ankle, he was not given pain medication, he was left unattended for I don't even know how long and when I asked some idiotic interns to bring him up and prep him for surgery they left him in the hallway. If I don't get in there before infection sets in he will lose his ankle at the very least," I tried to explain.
Arizona could tell I was wound up. She looked at her watch then over at the young patient, "How long?" she asked me.
"Best case scenario, I'm in an out in an hour and a half. Worst case, I'm not coming home tonight," I said.
"You can't be on your feet all night," Arizona said sternly.
I looked at Karev who was still listening then back to Arizona, "I can't find any other doctors. If I could get some help I might be able to get out in half the time," I said.
"I'll help," Karev said simply. "My surgeries are all scheduled around this little staffing crisis," he teased.
"Fine," Arizona said unconvincingly giving me the OR. "Make sure she drinks plenty of water Karev," she said kissing my cheek lightly before walking away.
Karev and I grabbed Mr Langdom and wheeled him into the OR. Waiting for us was a very skimp team provided by Arizona; one anesthesiologist and one nurse. We opened him up and like I feared the infection had already set in which meant we were in for a long night. 6 hours into the surgery we had a change of nurse. 7 hours in Mr Langdom coded on the table. 8 hours in Arizona arrived in the OR, her hand holding a mask to her face. "Hows it going in here?" she asked, more curious how I was doing than the patient.
"The infection has killed a lot of the viable tissue. I'm trying to get rid of it and attach it to fresh tissue," I tried to explain but Arizona didn't care much for ortho surgeries, nor did she know much about them.
"How are you going? Have you eaten?" Arizona asked curiously.
"Suction," I said and Karev suctioned a pool of blood out of the lower limb. "I had a banana," I said as I grabbed a scalpel from the nurse and started cutting at some of the black, dead flesh.
"That was like 6 hours ago," Karev narked.
"Calliope, you need to eat. You need to sit down and have a drink of water," Arizona said in a serious tone.
"Find me another ortho surgeon who won't cut this guys leg off and I'll do just that," I grumbled.
Arizona looked at me then looked at Karev. She knew she wasn't going to stop me from finishing this surgery so she decided to drop the subject and she left. Arizona was likely going to be mad at how 'careless' of my well being I was being but I was still a surgeon and the reality is, these are the kind of hours surgeons do.
I got out of surgery at about 10pm which made Mr Langdom's surgery a solid ten hour surgery. It hadn't ended favourably. We ended up shaving a good inch off one of Mr Landom's legs just so he could keep his foot. It seemed like a good result until you realised he was 25 and would walk with a limp for the rest of his life. I couldn't help but think it all could have been avoided if we were properly staffed and he had been properly looked after the moment he came into the hospital.
I arrived home just before midnight. Like I always did I headed to Sofia's room to give her a kiss before I put myself to sleep. When I got to the doorway I noticed another body in her bed. Arizona had fallen asleep in her clothes, Sofia wrapped in her arms. I stood at the doorway for a moment watching the two loves of my life sleep. I thought about waking Arizona but she looked so peaceful and I wasn't convinced she wouldn't be mad at me so instead I carried on down the hallway to our bedroom. I changed into my PJ's, brushed my teeth, moisturize my face and slipped into bed for a short sleep before work the next morning.
The next day I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I peered across the bed, the clock read 4:30am. I rolled my head under my pillow for a moment dreaming of the next chance I'd have to sleep before I finally plucked up the courage to roll out of bed. The house was still silent when I finally left for work. I spent most of my morning running in and out of OR's, checking in on simple surgeries and partaking in some more challenging surgeries. At about 1 o clock I went into my office to catch up on some of the paperwork I was neglecting and the next thing I knew Arizona was standing in the door holding a brown paper bag of food at 6 o clock. How time had got so away from me was beyond me.
"I assume you'll be home late tonight too?" she asked calmly as she rested up against the door frame of my office.
"Are you mad?" I asked. Arizona shook her head. "I knew when I married you who you were, how much surgery means to you. I wouldn't expect you to change," Arizona said with a smile as she entered my office properly.
"I know you liked it when I wasn't working much and I was being all nesty," I said.
Arizona shrugged, "I like you now too," she said with a smile gracing her lips. I spun around inviting Arizona to sit on my lap. Arizona placed the paperbag of food on my desk and she sat on my lap, her arms snaking around my neck as she looked up at me.
"I don't care that you are working so much but I am worried that you're not eating enough. You're eating for three," Arizona reminded me.
"I just forget," I admitted.
"Those are our babies in there, you can't afford to forget. I am happy to run around reminding you but you can't get mad when I do," Arizona begged.
"I'm sorry," I whispered as I pushed Arizona's blonde hair behind her ear, "I'll do better," I promised. Arizona kissed me lightly before she raised my top to reveal the slightest baby bump that was hidden so well behind a pair of dark blue scrubs. "One of the babies kicked for the first time today," I told Arizona.
Arizona smiled and she placed her hand on my belly before she looked back at me, "I still think it's a boy," Arizona said happily.
"Well I guess we won't know for another two weeks," I said as I watched Arizona have an intimate word with my belly.
"Boys, be nice to mummy. No kicking her during surgery," Arizona said just as Karev appeared in the doorway, his eyes staring at us like a possum in a spotlight.
"Arizona," I said before she looked up at me then followed my stare to a stunned Alex Karev.
"Wholy shit, you're pregnant," he muttered as if looking for confirmation. Arizona let my shirt down and climbed off my lap before yanking Karev into the room and closing the door behind him. "Who's the Dad this time?" he teased. Arizona hit him before she sat on the corner of my desk.
"Callie is 16 weeks pregnant via IVF," Arizona blurted out. I got the feeling she was glad somebody other than her parents and Sofia knew.
"Wow, you kept that one quiet," he said with a smile forming on his face, "Congrats Robbins. Congrats Torres," he said sincerely. "Bloody hell, another mini Callie running around," he said rolling his eyes as he said it.
"Well actually," Arizona said proudly as she looked back to check I was okay with her telling him. I didn't have to nod or verbally tell her she could, she just knew. "It's going to be two little Arizona's running around," she said with a smile.
"Wait.. twins? With your egg?" he asked curiously. Arizona and I both nodded. "If I'm babysitting all three I want babysitting money," he joked before his smile slowly faded. "Congratulations guys," he said sincerely. "And sorry for ruining your moment," he laughed.
"Don't tell anyone, we haven't told the chief yet," I piped up. Karev imitated a zip on his mouth before bowing out of the room and closing the door behind him.
"I guess that means we're telling people now," Arizona said with a soft smile forming on her face; she was very clearly happy that she could parade around the hospital telling whomever she wanted, whenever she wanted that her wife was having twins.
"We better tell the chief before she finds out some other way, otherwise we will both be dead meat," I suggested.
For most new parents it's as simple as saying 'We're pregnant, it's a boy or it's a girl' for us it was a little more complicated than that. We had to tell people we were pregnant, quickly proceed to how we got pregnant so people didn't assume the worst, slip in there somewhere that we are having twins and if we can to prevent some surprise at the birth also tell people we used Arizona's egg not mine. I didn't necessarily feel the need to tell people all the details but I knew Arizona was immensely proud and was more than happy to tell people the minor details.
The next day when Bailey was back in her office and I had finally got some rest Arizona and I planned to go straight to Bailey's office to break the news. Arizona and I had discussed prior to this meeting when I would take leave, how much leave I would like to take and how many hours I would cut back to later in the pregnancy. We had fought on that point. I said 40 because that was considered a light week for any surgeon, Arizona argued that, that was still a full weeks worth of work for most other professions. We settled on 30 hours a week with the idea that I'd likely be called in on an emergency at least once a week. I was secretly glad I wasn't walking in to have this conversation with a male chief, there was something more relaxing about talking about careers and babies with a woman that had done both successfully.
Arizona ended up being called into an emergency surgery and promised she would meet me there at 7am. When I arrived Arizona was already in Bailey's office, coffee in hand and a matching one in Bailey's. Good thinking, I thought. Soften her up with a bit of coffee then hit her with the news. When I walked in both women turned around, "Well fancy seeing you both in my office so early in the morning," Bailey said unaware that she was meeting with us both.
"Well Chief, Callie and I were actually hoping to talk to you," Arizona said cautiously.
"You guys aren't going to Africa are you?" Bailey teased.
I laughed and shook my head, "definitely not," I said as I sat down in the chair Bailey offered to me.
"Well what can I do for you two ladies?" she asked as she took a seat in her chair. Arizona sat down too, her hands rubbing nervously against her scrubs.
"Well as you know Callie and I bought a house about 6 months back," Arizona started off by saying. "We bought it with the intention of having more children," she continued. Arizona looked at me and I carried on for her.
"Arizona and I flew to Los Angeles about 16 weeks ago for an IVF procedure and we're pregnant," I beamed hoping my smile would force one from her but it didn't, at least not right away.
"Wait, who?" Bailey asked curiously.
"Me," I said.
"Her," Arizona said at the same time. "My egg though," Arizona added proudly. Who would have thought Arizona Robbins the woman who never pictured herself a mother would become a mother of three children.
"How far along are you?" Bailey asked with no hint of a smile or signs of congratulations.
"16 weeks, roughly," I said nervously my eyes darting between Bailey and Arizona who appeared equally nervous.
"Well, I guess congratulations are in order," Bailed said a smile finally gracing her lips.
I let out a deep sigh followed by a laugh, "I thought you were going to scold us," I laughed again.
"It does mean we will have to discuss a few things, parental leave, hours, workloads, hiring another doctor maybe but I am happy for you both," Bailey saind sincerely. "Will you both be taking leave?" Bailey asked curiously.
"Well I will take 6 weeks off after the baby is born to be at home with Callie and the babies and," Bailey interrupted…
"Babies?" she repeated, double checking she heard right.
"Twins," I told her. "Not sure the gender yet but we do know there are two of those little suckers inside me," I smiled.
"Jeepers. Twins. Carry on," Bailey said already over the shock of the announcement of twins.
"Callie will look to take 3 months off then return to half her duties for another 3 months before returning full time," Arizona explained. Bailey nodded, she didn't seem worried about that at all.
"Twins," Bailey repeated as she relaxed into her chair. "Tuck was enough, I couldn't imagine twins," she laughed.
"Yeah, we have had some time to come to terms with it but it'll be tough," I agreed. "I want to continue working for as long as possible and after the baby is born I will still be available for consultation but obviously I will have two babies attached to my hip so…" Bailey interrupted with a wave of the hand.
"I'm not worried at all, we will organise it so you don't have to worry. When you return your job will be waiting for you and personally, we are all here for you both," Bailey said as she stood up, walked in front of her desk and hugged us was the second person I was most nervous to tell, the first I hadn't talked to in a long time; my mother.