Days passed with no sign of Derek. It appeared he had believed me when I told him Negan wasn't at Doveport. We were still nervous about things, but every day Derek didn't show up was another day for Negan to heal. He was still in a lot of pain, but that didn't stop him from sneaking into my bedroom every night.

During the day I felt guilty about being with him, but at night, all my worries disappeared as soon as he kissed me. Negan was the perfect distraction, and every time he took me away I felt at peace with myself. We were arguing less, and things actually seemed good between us. We'd share little smiles during the day and create memories at night. It was bliss.

But even though sex with Negan was amazing, it wasn't enough to make me relax completely. Derek could show up any moment, and I still had a community to run. Negan would tease me that I was too tense, but it was impossible to let my guard down with the current situation. He always fell asleep first and it took me a little longer to finally doze off in his arms.

One afternoon I was outside helping Amy with laundry. We had set up a clothesline between two trees, and I was taking down dried clothes and folding them to place back into the basket. Negan was napping inside; he refused to leave my bed that day and had tried to convince me to stay with him, but I had things to do. Ryan and Eric were helping Vivienne with some projects in the kitchen, and the other Doveporters were doing an inventory of our food. Negan hadn't been taking our scavenged items anymore, and we were actually doing well for once.

I looked up just as Amy started to come out of the school carrying a full basket of wet clothes.

"I've got it," I said, jogging over to her. I grabbed the basket from her hands, and as I did her face twisted in annoyance.

"I had it, Elle." She hurried past me over to the clothesline to gather some pins. "I'm fully capable of doing things around here."

"I know.. It's just.. The baby." I gestured to her large belly. Our new Doveporter would be here any day, and I was so excited to meet her. "You've gotta be careful, Amy."

Amy scoffed and shook her head. "If the stress hasn't killed her yet, nothing will."

She had a point. That baby had been through enough trauma to last a lifetime. I hoped all the stress that Amy had been through wouldn't affect her daughter.

I picked up a shirt from the damp pile and held it up. It was a tee shirt Negan had worn, and as I stared at the grey fabric, I smiled. I had peeled it off him when he had visited me late one night. I was gazing at the shirt in my hands, reminiscing, when Amy noticed me.

"Heard you guys going at it again last night," she muttered under her breath, pinning a pair of pants to the clothesline.

"Sorry," I mumbled, giving her an apologetic look. It was easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment with Negan, and he wasn't exactly noiseless.

"At least Eric and I were quiet," she said shaking her head, but I noticed she was smiling.

"I think I heard you guys a couples times," I teased, "Our rooms are near each other."

"Yeah, and Negan's room is towards the end of the hall. Ever consider going to him one of these nights, or is there something magical about your bed?" She tried to give me a disapproving look, but it didn't last, and her lip twitched upwards.

"Well you see," I said in a low voice, trying not to laugh as I spoke, "It just turns me on so much knowing that you're listening."

"Shut up!" She threw a damp shirt at me and it landed on the grass. We both burst out in a fit of giggles. Amy wasn't making me feel bad about being with Negan anymore, and I was glad we could laugh about it.

After we regained our composure, we went back to work hanging up the wet clothes to dry. Many of the articles of clothing were the ones that Derek and Charlotte had brought us from the mall. We were grateful to get unused, clean clothes, and we were doing our best to take care of them.

"Maybe if we can figure out this stuff with Derek things will be good," Amy said, taking down some dry clothes and folding them together. "Negan talked to me yesterday and said I can give birth at the Sanctuary. Dr. Carson is prepared to assist me with it. It's not what he specialized in before, but Negan said he's confident that Carson can handle it. Otherwise, I guess he has a brother that works at another settlement, and Negan said I could go there."

I smiled as she spoke. Negan really did have good connections. Amy had options, but either way, it felt like everything was going to be okay when it came to the baby.

Before I could say anything, the sound of vehicles approaching the gate made me look up in concern. My heart sank. If Derek was outside, we had very little time to hide Negan.

Ryan was still inside, so I went over to the gate, giving Amy a wary look. She nodded and headed to go inside the school, leaving the laundry behind her. She'd warn Negan, and I'd try and stall to give her time.

I held my breath as I prepared to open the gate, expecting to see an army waiting for me on the other side. Would he just shoot me the moment I opened it?

My heart was pounding as I pulled the gate open and came face to face with a tall man who was smirking down at me. I stared up at his receding hairline, short-sleeved shirt and thick mustache. I had never seen him before.

Placing my hand on my holstered Ruger, I stared at him coldly.

"I'm armed," I warned, wondering if I shouldn't just draw my weapon and kill him now. I could see there were multiple pickup trucks parked behind him, but my eyes were locked on him. He didn't even blink.

"Good afternoon to you too," he said as he raised his eyebrows in mock surprise at me. "And here I thought you'd be more well-mannered."

I frowned and gripped the gate, getting ready to close it in his face.

"We don't have anything, so you're wasting your time." I went to pull the metal door closed, but the strange man stuck his boot out in the way. I glared at him as he grinned back at me.

"But you DO have something!" Using his foot, he moved the gate partially open again and gestured to the school. "I'm here for Negan."

I had to fight the urge to furrow my brow in confusion. Was this one of Derek's men? Was he offering me a chance to hand Negan over without anyone getting hurt? I didn't know what to think, but I certainly wasn't going to give Negan up.

I continued to glower at him. "He's not here."

The man put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. "Is that so?"

I nodded and gripped the gate tightly, prepared to slam it on his foot.

"Yep, but if I see him, I'll let him know you stopped by." I went to close the gate again, but the man reached out and grabbed it to stop me. Leaning into my face and grinning, his entire demeanor almost reminded me of Caleb.

"I know for a fact he's here, sweetheart." He stared down at my hand that was resting on my Ruger. "He radioed me this morning and told me to bring him home."

It was only then that I really looked at the trucks behind him and immediately recognized them. They were Saviors, but I had never met this mustached one before. I knew some of the other men sitting inside the trucks and stared at them in silence. They probably thought I had lost my mind.

"I'm Simon, by the way. And you're Elle—Negan's little firecracker." Simon smirked and I finally looked back at him.

"He's never mentioned you," I said, just a little too harshly—but it was true. Negan hadn't mentioned a Simon or that he wanted to go home. I knew he had his radio, but I'd thought he'd stay with us just a little while longer.

Simon feigned being hurt and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. Before he could speak, the front door to the school opened. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Negan come walking out with Amy. He came over to the gate, where Simon and I were both still clutching onto the metal.

"Took you long enough," Negan muttered, coming to stand next to me, and I finally let go of the gate. I stared up at him feeling confused, not understanding why he hadn't talked to me about any of this.

"Sorry, boss," Simon answered, also releasing the gate and giving me a wide grin. "I was arguing with your girlfriend."

"I'm not his girlfriend!" I snarled, but I didn't look away from Negan. "Why didn't you tell me they were coming?"

"Must have slipped my mind," Negan mumbled, and I frowned at him, knowing he was full of shit. "Have them pull the damn trucks into the yard and come talk to me inside the school."

Simon nodded once and then gestured with his hand towards the trucks, motioning them forward. The engines started and Negan pulled the gate fully open for them to enter. I watched him slightly wince as he gripped the metal door, and I stepped to the side as the pickups drove into the yard. I was grateful they weren't going to wait outside in case Derek showed up, but I wondered if Negan was really going to leave now that his men were here.

Once the Saviors were inside Doveport's walls, Negan ordered his men to stay outside and then led Simon inside the school. I followed behind quietly as we went into the principal's office, and Negan sat down in the big chair behind the desk. He patted his lap and raised his eyebrow in invitation, but I looked askance and leaned up against the wall. Simon sat down on one of the little chairs opposite of Negan.

"So Simon, what the fuck is our current status with this shit?" Negan asked, studying the mustached man. Simon glanced over at me and didn't speak, and Negan turned his head to look at me too. "We can trust her," he reassured Simon.

Simon nodded and then turned his attention back on Negan.

"The Mallrat scout that was watching the factory has been killed. We're all ready to bring you back to Sanctuary."

I frowned at hearing that. I didn't want Negan to leave, but I knew he would have to go eventually. He had communities to run and people to take care of, but there was a selfish part of me that wanted to keep him to myself.

"Derek and his men are all back at the mall. We're confident we can take them out. We've just been waiting for your word," Simon explained.

My eyes widened.

"You can't!" I blurted, causing both Negan and Simon to turn and look at my frightened face. "You can't kill them!"

"Oh, but we can," Simon said with a furrowed brow, not understanding my outburst.

Ignoring him and going over to Negan, I held his gaze.

"Let me talk to Derek."

Negan stared at me for a long time without saying anything.

"You owe me that. Give me a chance to work things out. I can get through to him. Please, Negan," I pleaded.

Simon stayed quiet as I begged Negan to let me try to broker peace between the Saviors and Greenbrier. After a few more moments, Negan looked away and he glared across the room.

"If I see Derek again, he's going to fucking die."

I shook my head, not wanting to hear it.

"I know you want revenge, but you can be better than that, Negan. I know you're better than that. Please. I know I can fix this. Let me fix this."

I was surprised when he turned back and took my hand into his. His serious expression remained, but there was a passionate look in his eye as he squeezed my hand.

"Come with me," he said quietly. "Forget about this shit. Come live with me at the Sanctuary. Simon can take care of the fucking Mallrats." A sly smile spread on his face as he spoke. "These last few, fucking-fantastically-fun nights don't have to be our last."

I blushed and turned to hide my face. I would have preferred he not talk about this in front of Simon, but Simon didn't even seem the least bit uncomfortable. I wondered if he was used to Negan's colorful personality and how close they were.

I wondered what Simon thought about his wives.

Wives.

I had forgotten all about Tanya, Frankie, Amber and the others. We had been so caught up in each other the last couple days that I had been ignoring the reality of our situation. Negan was doing the same thing he was doing with me with five other women.

Letting his hand go, I took a step away from him.

"Good thing you've got so many women back home to take care of that," I muttered, hanging my head down. Negan stared at me for a long minute and then, without taking his eyes off me, addressed Simon.

"Give us a minute." It wasn't a question.

Simon stood up and left the room as I stared down at the floor. Once we were alone, Negan stood up from the chair and placed his hands on my wrists and squeezing lightly.

"Elle, look at me," he insisted, stepping into my personal space and tilting his head to try and see my face. When I finally met his eyes, he took a breath. "I'm fucking serious. I want you to move to Sanctuary with me."

I knew he was serious—I hadn't doubted his sincerity. He had wanted me to move there with him even when Philip was alive. He'd asked me so many times that I'd lost count, but now things were different. Now I wanted to go with him, but there was just one little thing stopping me.

"Are you gonna leave your wives?" I asked in a low voice.

Negan didn't respond. He just continued to stare at me with his poker face, and I let out a frustrated sigh.

"I won't be number six, Negan."

"I'm not asking you to be." His grip on my wrists relaxed, and he tried to place his hands in mine, but I pulled away and crossed my arms.

"I don't want to share you," I whispered, shaking my head in disgust at the idea. "You might be into that, but I'm not. I can't be with you and know you're sleeping with five other women."

"It's more than sex," Negan said. He almost sounded desperate, like he was trying to get me to hear him out. "I'm protecting these women. They were fucking vulnerable until they met me. Being my wife means no one can fucking touch you. You can boss my men around. You don't have to work. You'll be safe."

"I'm safe here," I argued, frowning at him. "And you could protect them without sleeping with them."

Negan's face turned grim and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'm not forcing them," he said defensively.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying I don't want to be another notch in your bedpost." I swallowed hard and looked away.

"You're not," he insisted.

I didn't know what to think. I pondered what he told me about marrying his wives to protect them. Negan meant well, but there was still something so morbid about the concept. I had been in the parlor room. I had seen that life up close, and it had been unnerving. I remembered their black dresses and high heels. They looked like some sort of exquisite club, but I had yet to see any of them interact with Negan.

Did he kiss them the same way he kissed me?

Did he make love to them like he did with me?

Did he hold them in his arms afterwards?

I had so many questions, but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answers to them.

And it didn't matter. I had a mission.

"I can't move to Sanctuary. I need to go to Greenbrier and talk to Derek." The discussion about moving with him had been a distraction, but I wouldn't let him sidetrack me again. We could figure all this out another time. "You need to tell me how to get to the mall."

Negan frowned at me, but I held my ground and continued to give him a critical look.

"You have to let me try," I whispered, staring at his handsome face. Of all the men I had to pick, it just had to be Negan. The man who was married to five women and who burned people's faces. The man who wanted to go slaughter Derek and his men. But as I tried to read his expression, I realized something…

He hadn't said no.

Negan gazed into my eyes for a long time, as if he was trying to think of something else to say. I wanted him to. I wanted him to tell me he'd leave his wives if it meant I'd go with him. I wanted him to promise me he wouldn't hurt Derek.

I knew better.

Negan broke our long gaze and headed over to the desk, opening a drawer. I watched him remove a map and unfold it onto the desk. Studying it for a few minutes, he used his finger to mark a spot, picked up a pen from the desk, and circled it.

"The mall's there," he mumbled, clicking the pen and tossing it back on top of the desk. His voice was void of emotion and his expression was hard. I went over to the desk and stared down at the circled spot and then folded the map up.

He was going to give me a chance to talk to Derek, and I couldn't help but feel hopeful. If I could just sit down with Greenbrier, I could convince them to stop fighting the Saviors. It was a long shot, but it was possible, and maybe after I could talk to Negan about going easier on them.

But as we stood there in the office, things felt awkward, and I hated it. I hated that there was always some stupid argument to be had—some disagreement that kept us at a distance from one another. I wished things were easier, but deep down I knew they never would be.

Negan went to leave the room when I called out to him.

"Wait." I rounded the desk to where he had stopped and reached out to him. Taking his arm and pulling him to face me again, I gave him a sheepish smile. "Thank you."

Negan smiled a little and then glanced down at his belt and removed something. Holding it out to me, I stared down at the black rectangular object—his walkie talkie.

"If you need anything, and I mean fucking anything, use this. Ask for me. Some asshole's always listening."

I nodded, clutching the object in my hand, and then gave him a sad smile. "Guess this is goodbye for now?"

Negan nodded and then glanced over his shoulder. Turning back to me, his eyes went to my lips and he almost seemed unsure of himself. Then he placed a hand on the back of my waist and pulled me towards him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck with the walkie talkie still in my grasp, I met him halfway in a passionate kiss. Our lips melded together as he pressed me against him, and I clung to his neck. There was something different about this kiss; it was demanding, like it was the last one we'd share for a while. Maybe it was.

I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't go with him to the Sanctuary. I had to go to Greenbrier and try to make things right. Still, I didn't move away from him as we kissed. My skin tingled and I clutched onto him desperately, knowing once we stopped it would be awhile before I could hold him again.

Our first kiss had been in the same room, and I felt transported back to that day. I had threatened one of his men and he had practically dragged me into the office. We had been arguing, and I had kissed him to shut him up, but it hadn't gone the way I had expected.

Back then, I was in denial about these feelings for him. But now, I knew I couldn't run away from it. We always found our way back to each other, through all the craziness. I found solace in knowing that as he broke the kiss to smirk down at me.

"There's no way I can convince you to come back with me?"

I shook my head and matched his smile. "You really don't like taking no for an answer, do you?"

"I don't like being away from you," he admitted, reaching up to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. My cheeks heated up and I stepped back from him, feeling flustered.

"Well, you know where to find me," I said with a nervous chuckle. It was tempting—I almost wanted to forget about Greenbrier and just go with him, but I had to try and fix this.

And there was still the matter of his wives. We needed to have a better conversation about them, but right now we didn't have time. I had to go to Greenbrier and convince Derek to stop fighting.

Negan sighed and then pulled me into an embrace. "Be careful," he said softly, pressing his face into my hair. I didn't hug him back and stared over his shoulder.

Did he hug his wives like this?

He let me go and then left the office, with Simon following him towards the exit. I stood there feeling conflicted. I couldn't stop thinking about those women in their tight black dresses, and whether Negan treated them the same way he treated me.

I let out a frustrated sigh, and then my eyes noticed the map that was still folded on top of the desk.

Right then, there were more important things I needed to worry about.

Negan left with Simon and his men quite quickly. The others were surprised at him leaving, but once I explained my plan to go to Greenbrier, they were less focused on Negan and more on my plan. Vivienne and Eric seemed unsure about me going, but Amy thought it was a great idea. She was confident that Derek and Charlotte wouldn't hurt me.

The mall was only a few hours away, so I planned accordingly. Taking a little food and some water, I also packed the map and brought my Ruger—just in case.

I was making sure the car was ready and eyed the cracked windshield. Luckily it wasn't damaged too terribly and I'd be able to see out it. Eric came up to me just as I opened the driver's side door.

"Let me go with you," he insisted.

"No, you have to stay. Things could go bad, and I need you here if something happens to me." I remembered the way Eric had organized the fight against the walkers when the gate was destroyed and knew he was a capable leader. "You're in charge while I'm gone."

Eric clearly didn't like that I wouldn't let him go, but he nodded at me and then wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I hugged him back and watched as Amy approached us. I held my arms out to her and she hugged me tightly, her large belly pressed into me as she squeezed.

"If anyone can fix this, it's you, Elle," she said against my ear.

Waving goodbye to the others, I got into the car and turned the key in the ignition. Ryan opened the gate for me, and I drove out, leaving the school.

As I headed down the road, I glanced over at the map and tried to calm my nerves.

I really hoped Amy was right.