Arizona carried the twins into the house in their carriers, both fast asleep and recently fed. I followed behind slowly and steadily, being careful not to rip my stitches up. Aria walked in last carrying Sofia in her arms fast asleep, the little girl hadn't had much sleep lately because of the excitement and anticipation of Cayden and Charlee's arrival.
"I'll just put this one into bed," Aria said as she glanced down at the tall, yet small girl in her arms.
I ran my fingers over her small face as Aria passed me, she had been a sister for less than 6 hours and already she was perfect at it. After watching Aria leave to put my daughter down I headed towards the nursery where Arizona was placing Cayden into his bassinet.
"I wish I could hold them," I whispered as I leant up against the door.
"You can," Arizona said in a quiet whisper, "you just have to sit down while you do it. It's only for a few days," she added. "I'll put a chair in the nursery so you can hold them and feed them," she said as she covered Cayden in the blanket Barbara had knitted for him.
I walked over to Cayden's bassinet and I looked down at the small boy, his arms and legs pushed off in different directions as a soft hum escaped his lips. "I can't believe how much they look like you," I said softly as I walked over to Charlee's bassinet and watched as Arizona lay him down gently.
"They didn't get their nose from me," she whispered, a small smile playing on her lips.
"I'm glad they look like you," I admitted as I rested my hand on the small of her back while I watched her tuck in our child.
"I'm scared for them both, especially Charlee." Arizona blurted out, her voice still low so she wouldn't wake the babies. Cayden's heart arrhythmia was something that could be monitored and one day might just disappear but Charlee was born with a condition that he would forever have to deal with.
"We will protect them," I responded as I pressed my lips against the side of Arizona's head. "Are the baby monitors set up?" I asked her as I slowly drifted towards the door.
Arizona nodded as she switched off the lights and slowly and quietly closed the door, the baby monitor in her hand as we quietly trotted down the hallway to our own bedroom.
I fell asleep almost immediately after sinking into the mattress, my body ached, my eyes stung with pain and my head throbbed from a lack of sleep. Arizona fell asleep before me, her soft snores filling our room at once. We were asleep for a short 20 minute window before Charlee's noticeable cry filled our room through the baby monitor which quickly followed by Cayden's cry.
Arizona rolled over and instinctively dragged herself from bed, "I'll get them,' she whispered as she headed for the nursery, leaving me to rest.
Arizona picked up both the boys, one in each arm and sat down on the floor. She had yet to put a chair in the nursery. She rocked them back and forward, singing a soft lullaby as she urged them back to sleep. Cayden finally drifted off to sleep but Charlee lay staring at his mother, memorized before her voice. Arizona stood to her feet and placed Cayden back into his bassinet, her hand resting on his head lightly in replace of a kiss. She carried Charlee out of the room, his small head braced in her arms as he looked around him. He was a curious little baby.
Arizona tried everything to get Charlee back to sleep. She sung to him, she read to him, she rocked him, she even put the TV on but nothing got the small infant to close his eyes. Arizona lay down on the couch with the intention of resting her arms. She lay the small boy against her body, both of them finally drifting off to sleep.
I slept for a good hour before realising Arizona hadn't returned to her side of the bed. I climbed out of bed and glanced at the clock. 6:45pm. Arizona's parents got off the plane 45 minutes ago and were likely on their way. I slipped into my robe, the only thing that I felt adequately hid all my extra bits as a result of carrying and birthing twins and didn't hurt my incisions. I walked down the hall to check on the boys, Cayden was fast asleep while Charlee wasn't in his bassinet. I closed the door and carried on through to the lounge, my eyes immediately settling upon Charlee and Arizona, their snores equally filling the room.
I grabbed my phone from the pocket of my robe and I took a photo. These were the memories I wanted to hold onto forever. "Arizona," I whispered as I lightly ran my hands through her blonde hair.
Arizona woke immediately, her eyes flickering open with ease as if she hadn't been asleep at all. She looked down at Charlee who was still fast asleep. "He wouldn't sleep," she whispered quietly, "he kept waking his brother," she informed me. "Whats the time?"
"Your parents should be here any moment," I told her.
Arizona slowly sat up, her arms attempting to move Charlee as little as possible so she wouldn't wake him but as soon as Arizona sat up Charlee began crying. "Maybe he is hungry," Arizona suggested in a hopeful tone. It was easier to say he was hungry than admit that he may just be a terrible sleeper.
I sat down on the couch and I slowly took Charlee from Arizona, he was smaller than Cayden but felt slightly heavier. I pulled my robe to the side, allowing my breast to fall out. I took it in my hand and motioned it towards Charlee's mouth. Charlee took hold of my nipple immediately and began sucking away. Breastfeeding was an incredibly intimate moment between mother and baby, it was like the world slowly disappeared and it was just the two of you. You communicated without talking, you learnt their quirks, their likes, their dislikes and in the case of twins you started to identify fun little differences. Charlee clenched his fists and lay quite still when he was being breastfed while Cayden kicked and moved the entire time. Breastfeeding gave me time to know my boys individually and I was eternally grateful for those moments.
I relaxed into the couch, Charlee sucking away, his small fists clenched as he did. I could feel him falling asleep then waking himself up. It appeared little Charlee loved to be held while he slept.
There was a knock at the door, one that both Arizona and I had been expecting. Arizona pulled her eyes away from us as she headed for the door, "hey mum, hey dad," she said as she leant forward and hugged them each for an extended period of time. We were both grateful they had made the trip.
"Where are all my grandbabies?" Barbara said with a grin spreading wide across her face as she entered our home.
"Sofia and Cayden are asleep. Mr Charlee is well on his way. It was a long night," I informed her.
"Charlee doesn't like his bassinet, he prefers to sleep with his Mama's," Arizona added.
"Your mother has been showing everybody she runs into pictures of those boys," Daniel said as he closed the front door and wheeled his and Barbara's bags into the room. They looked like they were moving in.
"Do you want to hold?" I asked Barbara who came over to peer down at the wee boy as he sucked away at my breast happily.
"No, let him finish," Barbara whispered as she rubbed her hand on his small head and took in the perfect replica of Arizona. "Daniel look," Barbara said proudly, "Doesn't he look like Timothy did when Timothy was a baby?" she asked.
Daniel released the bags and wandered over to the couch his eyes exploring Charlee's face, "he does," he agreed.
"Come and see Cayden," Arizona said in a whisper as she motioned for her parents to follow her. I could tell Arizona was ecstatic to have her parents here and show off our boys, it made her even prouder to think they resembled her brother at such a young age.
Arizona snuck into the nursery, the light chimes of music playing in the background as Cayden lay perfectly still. Arizona looked up at her parents to see their reaction. Daniel had placed his hand on Barbara out of affection and Barbara had a single tear fall from her face. Neither one of them could believe how much the boys resembled the late Timothy.
Arizona, Daniel and Barbara snuck out of the nursery and returned back in the lounge just as I had put my breast away. "He isn't sleeping," I murmured.
"Let me take him," Barbara said as she took Charlee from my arms and instantly started cradling him against her body.
Arizona came and sat beside me, her hand finding mine out of habit. It had been a busy couple of days, we had barely had the chance to come to terms with the fact we now had two, pooping, crying, eating machines that required 98% of our time and occupied 100% of our mind.
"What do you do with a down syndrome baby?" Daniel asked catching everybody, including Barbara off guard.
"Daniel," Barbara hissed as if warning him to watch his words.
"No, it's alright," I admitted, "I was a bit the same when I found out," I explained. "Well Charlee will obviously develop at a slightly different rate than Cayden. Arizona and I have just decided to take each day as it comes," I said simply.
"He is a healthy boy Dad, he will have regular check ups but for now he is a healthy boy that doesn't like to sleep," Arizona laughed softly.
"Why don't you ladies go take a sleep. Your father and I can watch the kids," Barbara insisted.
"Aria and Sofia will likely sleep through to the morning, they have had as much sleep as we have," I explained. "Hard to kind of tell how long Cayden will sleep for," I said as I glanced up at Arizona.
"Are you sure you want to?" Arizona asked knowing I might have some problems with letting go of the parental controls.
I nodded lightly in response. "The baby monitor is in our room," I reminded Arizona. "If they need feeding or if you need us, just come get us," I insisted.
"We will," Barbara promised which gave me some confidence to leave both the boys to Barbara and Daniel. It wasn't that I didn't think they were capable, it was more that I worried the boys wouldn't cope. They already seemed quite unsettled, I didn't want them to cry anymore than they already were. Arizona frequently had to remind me that babies sometimes just cry; especially newborns.
Arizona and I trailed off to bed. We started off in a spooning position, Arizona's arm swung over me and resting on my upper breast as we quickly fell asleep. We slept for what felt like forever, waking up at 4am to the sound of both the boys crying.
"I'll get them," Arizona whispered as she kissed my shoulder and dragged herself out of bed. I couldn't wait for my stitches to be removed so I could return to normal parental duties. Arizona was working overtime trying to compensate for the lack of work I could do.
Arizona walked down the hall running into her mother just outside the boys door, "Go back to bed Mama," Arizona said as she kissed her mother's cheek thankfully. "I'll get them," she added before entering the room to two crying babies. Arizona picked up Charlee because he was closest to the door and held him up against her body his cries even louder now than they were before. "Shhhhhh," Arizona hushed, bobbing up and down as she leant down with her spare arm to pick up Cayden who almost immediately hushed at her touch. Arizona walked back down the hall and entered our bedroom.
"They are both awake," Arizona announced as she walked into the bedroom and handed me Charlee who was still screaming, the loud, newborn scream that was always so noticable.
"Oh Mr Charlee," I cooed as I ran my fingers under his eyes and cradled him against my body. "Shhhhhh sweet boy," I said, his scream slowly diminishing to a soft cry then eventually disappearing all together.
"I'll change them," Arizona said as she lay Cayden down on the end of the bed, propping him up with a pillow while she went to grab the diaper bag from the corner of the room. "I think our friend here has done some poos," Arizona said in her baby voice.
"Use the changing pad so you don't get poo on the duvet," I said.
Arizona grabbed the changing pad and lay it out beside Cayden. She picked him up and moved him onto the changing pad. Arizona handed him a baby toy which he clenched tightly with his fists and smashed it against the bed due to the lack of control in his arms. "Do you like that do you?" Arizona cooed a smile wide spread across her face and his as she removed Cayden's dirty diaper, wrapped it up and put it on the ground to dispose of afterwards. Arizona wiped his bottom down, put some cream on to help avoid nappy rash and fitted him with a fresh diaper. "Go to Mummy," she said as she placed a big kiss to his face before handing him over to me.
I took Cayden with my spare arm, resting him against my side as I held Charlee up as best I could. I slipped Cayden up, pulled up my t-shirt to reveal my breast, "My nipples already hurt," I said as I watched Arizona change Charlee.
"Is Cayden still biting?" Arizona asked as she wiped Charlee's bottom clean with wipes.
I nodded as I propped him up slightly, hoping the fuller access might cause him to loosen his grip. "Cayden, stop biting Mummy," I said in a hopeful beg. Cayden appeared to be hungry, he ate the least out of the two of them but he was kicking and swinging his arms all over the show as he eagerly fed.
Arizona lay a pillow a few inches from my side and she picked a freshly changed Charlee up and lay him down while he waited his turn. "I'll take these out. Do you want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" Arizona asked me as she packed up the changing pad, lay it on top of the diaper bag and stuffed it back into the corner.
"Oh yes, could you get me a banana or a piece of toast? I'm starving," I said as I put my pinky finger into Charlee's mouth to suck on while he waited.
Arizona grabbed the diapers from the ground and walked over to my bedside, she leant down and she kissed my lips, "thank you for giving me two perfect boys and one perfect girl," she whispered before kissing my lips again, this time longer.
"Arizona," I said just as she pulled away, "I'm not done yet," I said seriously.
Arizona smirked and she leant forward, her lips pressing against mine again, her tongue slipping between my mouth cheekily. I returned the kiss with equal passion before I slowly pulled away, "thank you for giving me them," I repeated back to her.
Arizona headed towards the kitchen, tossing the dirty diapers in a diaper dispenser April had given us. It was probably the best gift we had received, it held diapers and didn't release any of the odor. How often both the boys went poo's we were thankful we had it.
Arizona returned 10 minutes later with a plate of peanut butter on toast, she settled it on my bedside table as she climbed into bed beside Charlee. "Is it bad that I'm jealous of Cayden?" Arizona asked jokingly as she glanced down at Charlee who was slowly drifting off to sleep.
"Why?" I asked as I glanced up from Cayden and settled my eyes on Arizona.
"These," Arizona said as she reached out and rested her hand lightly on top of my free breast.
"You'll get your turn my dear," I smirked in response.
The rest of the morning the boys stayed in bed with us, both of them managed an extra hour of broken sleep with only a few tears in between. At 6am Sofia made her way into our room.
"Come here Sof," Arizona said enthusiastically as she patted the very limited space beside her.
Sof walked silently around the bed and climbed up into her Mama's arms. She snuggled into her side as she watched her brothers play happily. They had all the toys they could have dreamed of but all they really wanted to do was play with one another.
Yesterday I thought things couldn't get much better but today I realised I would feel that way a lot, everytime my three children and my wife were happy in a room together I would feel a rush of happiness that seemed unexplainable. That's how I felt now.
Over the next few days our routine barely changed. The babies woke every hour through the night, like an alarm on a loop. They usually took turns at waking up, the cry of one, causing the other to wake up. Arizona and Aria took turns getting up and swaddling the babies back to sleep. I woke with them, the babies being transported into the room for breastfeeding or diaper duty whenever necessary. At 4am the babies woke for good. They were often their most playful during the early hours of the morning. Arizona would bring them into the room and lie them on the bed between us while they played and explored the world around them. Often Arizona fell asleep during this time but sometimes she couldn't tear her eyes off the playful boys. At 6am I would wake Sofia up if she wasn't already. She was allowed to spend half an hour playing with her brothers which she loved. During this time Barbara would fix breakfast for the entire household. We usually put the boys in their bassinets and turned their mobiles on while we ate together in the lounge. At 8:40 Barbara and Daniel would take Sofia to school, Aria would go out and pick up the necessities of the day and Arizona and I would spend some well deserved time alone, usually with the boys snuggled up against our chest.
We had become so reliant on Aria, Barbara and Daniel since the arrival of the twins that the idea of them leaving was starting to weigh on the both of us. Part of me wanted them all to stay but the other part of me was eager to start life with my growing family without them.
It was Friday morning and the day of Aria's departure. She had been up most of the morning packing. Cayden had fallen asleep beside Arizona while Charlee was still wide awake, his eyes exploring his surroundings. Charlee had started to smile, he especially loved it when he heard his sisters voice. I took Charlee into Aria's room and I sat on the edge of her bed as she packed her clothes neatly into her suitcase.
"Did you find a place?" I asked her.
"Uncle Roger has a friend out in Florida who has a spare room, I'm going to go stay with him for a while. It'll all work out," she explained.
"You don't have to go. I don't want you to feel like you're not welcome here just because we have the twins now," I informed her.
Aria stopped and she smiled towards me, "Calliope," she said as her smile grew bigger, "Wanting your house back to yourself isn't the same thing as not wanting me here," she reminded me. "I can't live here forever, this is your life. Your wife needs to be able to walk around the house freely without worrying about me. I'll always be around but I'm your sister not your child," she laughed.
"I know. I just want you to know you have a home here always," I reminded her. "Do you need money?" I asked her cautiously.
"Daddy slipped me some money, it should be enough to get me settled in," she said as she zipped up her bag.
"What time do you leave?" I questioned.
"I was going to catch the bus later tonight but I have a friend in town who is heading out to Florida so I thought I'd catch a ride with her. She will be here in an hour or so," she responded.
"We will miss you," I said simply as I looked at Charlee, "won't we Mr Charlee," I cooed as I bobbed him up and down.
"God he is cute," Aria said as she leant forward and gave him a big kiss to his face, "so stinkin cute," she muttered against his skin as she took in his baby smell.
"Make sure you say goodbye to Arizona and Sofia, they will want to see you off," I instructed her.
"I'm not leaving right now," she assured me as she picked up her large suitcase that she had come with all those months ago and wheeled it into the lounge.
We spent the next hour chatting over coffee, Charlee asleep in Aria's arms. The house was very still, even Sofia wasn't awake yet. When the time came for Aria to leave I took her through to the bedroom where Arizona was fast asleep.
"Don't wake her," Aria whispered as she stood at the door.
I knew she would be mad if I didn't so I shook her arm lightly which caused her eyes to flick open immediately, "is everything alright?" Arizona asked worried.
"I'm just heading off," Aria said.
"Wait what? I thought you weren't going till tonight," Arizona said as she sat up, holding the blanket against her body.
"So did I. My friend wanted to leave earlier," she explained.
"Get over here," Arizona said as she held out her arm.
Aria walked over to Arizona and embraced her tightly, "thank you so much," she said sincerely.
"Thank you,' Arizona responded as they held one another for an extended period of time to show just how grateful they were for one another.
"I couldn't ask for a better in law," Aria said as she pulled back from the hug.
"Do you want to hug your nephew?" Arizona asked curiously.
"I don't want to wake him," Aria responded.
"This little guy doesn't have any problems sleeping, Charlee is our bad sleeper," she said as she slipped her hands beneath Cayden and placed him in Aria's arms.
Aria looked down at him, her eyes taking in his petite body, "goodbye little guy," she whispered as she ran her thumb over his tiny forehead before laying a goodbye kiss to his head and handing him back to Arizona.
"I'll get up to see you off," Arizona insisted as she started to get out of bed.
"Stay. Please. It'll be easier if you don't," Aria admitted as she left the room.
"Let me take him," Arizona said gesturing towards Charlee.
I walked over and I placed Charlee into Arizona's arms.
"Are you okay?" Arizona questioned.
"Yeah," I whispered unconvincingly before I exited the bedroom and followed Aria through to Sofia's room. Sofia was going to be the hardest goodbye of all. Sofia and Aria had formed a very close bond. Even if Aria was able to leave without shedding a tear I knew Sofia couldn't.
"Hey princess," Aria said as she walked into Sofia's room. Sofia lay awake in her bed, her arms wrapped around her teddy bear.
"Why are you all dressed?" Sofia asked curiously.
"Remember how I told you I was going to go home," Aria said as she sat on the side of Sofia's bed, her hand running through her thick black hair.
"Not for ages though," Sofia said, as if telling me instead of questioning me.
"I'm going today sweet girl," Aria whispered, the words almost too difficult for her to say out loud.
"NO," Sofia said as she clung her arms around her Aunt Aria's neck. "You can't go," she said angrily.
"I'll be back," Aria promised as she hugged the small girl tightly.
I watched from the doorway, Sofia already verging on a breakdown.
"I have to go sweetheart," Aria repeated as she tried to release Sofia's arms from her neck.
"Sof," I said, finally intervening. "What if we visit Aunt Aria in Florida one day," I suggested hoping it would calm her down slightly.
Sofia shook her head furiously, "NO," she cried, her hands clinging to her Aunt Aria as she tried to break away.
I picked Sofia up and I tore her away from Aria. Sofia kicked and screamed against me her arms extended for Aria. "We will go say goodbye at the door," I explained to her as we followed Aria to the front door where her ride was loading her gear into the car.
"Keep in touch little sister," I said as I took Aria in my arms and placed a kiss to her cheek.
"Thanks for everything," Aria responded a tear finally falling down her cheek as she tried to break away. Sofia was screaming, her arms clinging to Aria as she tried to go with her. I took Sofia's hand and I removed it from Aria, holding it close to my body in attempt to comfort her.
"AUNT ARIA!" Sofia cried.
"Bye Sofia, see you soon I promise," she said as she climbed into the car. We watched the car drive off, Aria waving until the car disappeared into the distance. Sofia wriggled free from my arms and I let her go. She ran to the mailbox in tears, searching for the car that had taken her Aunt.
"You will see her soon," I said in attempt to comfort her.
It took about 10 minutes before Sofia was calm enough to even walk inside. Barbara and Daniel had obviously woken to the noise because they were sitting in the kitchen when I finally shut the door behind Sofia.
"She will be alright," Barbara reassured me as I watched Sofia run to her room to sulk. I had decided the best course of action was to let Sofia calm down on her own.
"Did you hear Charlee last night?" I asked them as I brewed myself a cup of tea.
"No, was he up all night?" Daniel asked.
"Yes, he was in our bed all night. He wouldn't sleep. Only time he would stop crying was when Arizona sung to him," I laughed lightly although the amount of sleep we had or hadn't had was no joke.
"He is probably exhausted little guy," Barbara stated.
"Well his mama's are for sure," I informed her.
Arizona walked into the lounge her hands free of babies, "they are both asleep," she whispered quietly as if a slightly raised voice would wake them both up. "How is Sof?" Arizona asked as she sat up beside her father.
"Heart broken. I think we should have prepared her more," I said to Arizona as I poured myself a cup of tea, "do you want a drink?" I asked her.
"Cup of coffee, double shot, sixteen sugars," she joked as she rubbed her eyes. "Please tell me you guys are here for another night," Arizona begged, hoping for one more night of extra hands before we were left at it alone.
"Yes, one more night," Barbara informed us, "Your father and I were talking. We thought maybe you and Callie could go out for dinner or spend some time together and we could watch the kids," she suggested, her eyes darting between Arizona and I to see what we thought of the situation.
"You could pump," Arizona said with a slight shrug which suggested she was interested.
"What did you have in mind?" I asked Arizona as I placed her cup of coffee in front of her.
"We could sleep all night," Arizona smiled playfully as she took a sip of her coffee.
"Count me in," I teased before I leant up against the kitchen island my hands wrapped around my mug.
The idea of a night without the children seemed unreal but we decided it was necessary to jump at the opportunity to spend time together alone while the option was available. Arizona also reminded me that this was as much for them as it was for us; Barbara and Daniel loved their grandchildren.