"I can't believe its you, I mean it does make sense and a lot of things are falling into place now. Just, wow, I'm sorry my thoughts are racing and I'm rambling." She blurts out after the initial shock sets in.
"My lady, I understand what you're going through is a big deal and I will stay here until you're ready," I say in hopes of comforting her.
She is so cute when she is flustered. Watching her fidget and nervously pick at her suit while she rambles on makes me realize I have never seen her like this. It seems she is taking it well, for the most part. She needs to get through this first before I can share my tale with her, no matter how long it takes. I will always remain by her side.
"You've always been so kind to me," she mutters.
"Do I know you in civilian form, too?" My thoughts spoken aloud. I realize what I just said and immediately try to retract it."You don't have to answer that, I didn't think before I said it." I look down to her, her eyes wide, searching mine.
"You're a world famous model and I have met you several times as Ladybug, you know?" She seems to relax.
"Oh, right…" I sound dejected. I was hoping that I did know her in civilian life, that would make all of this easier. I'm beginning to feel like there are three different versions of me. Chat Noir, overly confident over the top super hero. Adrien Agreste, handsome super model, and me, some kind of jumbled mess between the two, searching for an even balance between them.
My thoughts are interrupted with her movement. Getting closer she pulls my arm down and I realize I have been tapping my lips again. She wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my chest, again. Her warmth relaxes me, melts me.
"Get out of your head, Adrien. I'm happy its you, though you're much cooler than I am in my civilian form. I'm just a normal girl, with a normal life, while you're…extraordinary".
I release a chuckle and my tense body relaxes. "Thats where you're wrong my lady, no matter who you are as a civilian you are the extraordinary one, and like I said earlier, I will always love you, for whoever you are under that mask. While as Adrien Agreste, I have my whole life planned for me, to which I am to not falter".
I reach up to my face to feel where the scar should be, only to be met with smooth skin, a reminder that my face is the only important thing to my father, and his business.
"As Chat I am given such great freedom, running on the roofs, saving Paris and going wherever I want, whenever I want, and thats been taken from me. Then there is me, just regular Adrien. A normal kid who just wants to go to school, hang out with my friends, eat pizza and play video games. Who is just trying to find an even balance between the two, I am not quite sure of who I am". I continue, vulnerable.
"Well, I've always thought all three of you have been great, and you were right, I'm glad I looked up. It's freeing knowing who you are under the mask. You're just so different as Chat, so flirtatious and loud and as Adrien you're so kind and gentle with me. Its almost as if you have more confidence as a punsational flirty cat."
"Me? A flirt? I've never even had a real kiss!" I burst out while laughing. "I mean I definitely have more confidence with a mask on, and maybe its the cat personality but I don't have to be Adrien when I'm Chat. Maybe, its more of who I really am!"
Her face blanches and then quickly turns beet red and I stifle my laughter, ready to let her talk as she shifts nervously.
"I kissed you during our battle with Dark Cupid, it was the only way to take the magic away, I'm sorry I never told you. I was still figuring out my feelings for you then and I didn't want you to think anything more was happening.
"Wow…you…kissed…wow" is all my idiotic brain could muster, she kissed me years ago and I never knew? Curse my bad luck. I turn my thoughts around and focus on the task at hand.
"Anyways." She says with her eyebrow cocked. "I've seen you flirt with Marinette as Chat before".
Well, since we're being out in the open about everything. "I have never lied to you before and I wont start now. I have been in love with you, my lady, since the literal day we met, but you never returned my feelings until now. Mari is a great friend, one of the best, whom I know in my civilian life. She used to not be able to even talk to me but I tried my best to get her to be comfortable around me. During that time I realized how wonderful she is. I don't know if I am in love with her, but I do like her as more than a friend, but I've never acted on it because of my love for you. So, yes I do flirt with her, but thats probably because I can't do it as Adrien. It's been an eternal battle within me for the longest time and I understand if that makes you mad or jealous, or whatever. However, you have always been the reason I have held out in that regard. I'm not here to get into a relationship with you, though that would be my dream, and we can talk about that later. For now, I'm here to be open and honest with you." I confess.
Her thoughts take over as she is thinking about what to say next. I feel bad about how I feel about the both of them, but you can't help how the heart feels. However, like I said, I am here to get Plagg back, to get her partner back. Hopefully, she can see that. For now though, this situation is what is important, getting through this reveal and my confession is what needs to happen now. Ladybug looks up to me, and she has that look of determination again, she has definitely made up her mind about something. Maybe she will be mad about my confession of Mari, maybe she has decided to help me get Plagg and let us figure things out later. Either way, whatever she decides, I'm ready.
"I never answered your question, the one you asked earlier". She says seemingly stronger than she has to be.
"What question?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"You do know me in civilian form, Adrien".
I was not ready for that. My thoughts begin to race as I think about all of the women in my life, from my fathers business, to other models, classmates, coworkers and then to every person I've ever come across. I squeeze my eyes shut and reach my free hand to my forehead.
"Stop, Adrien!" I say aloud, accidentally. I needed to stop those thoughts, I am not here to figure out who LB is. I look up to meet her eyes and it seems I have moved her from my chest, my hands on her shoulders as I send her an arms length away from me. She seems worried.
"I'm sorry, my lady, when you said that I knew you in your other life, my mind began to race and I tried to figure out who you were. Thats not why I'm here though, when you are ready to tell me who you are I will be here to listen, but please do not feel forced because I have showed you who I am".
"I know, kitty, but I'm ready now. Tikki…" My body tenses, I am not ready for this. I bring her close to my chest again, and fear fills my body. She continues "…Spots off!"
A bright red light fills the deserted alley and I feel her suit change into a soft fabric. I lift my face to the sky as tears fill my eyes, this is all I've ever wanted and its almost too much for me to handle. I am about to figure out who the love of my life is. After three long years of fighting beside each other, saving each other and falling for each other. I did not prepare myself for this. My whole life is about to change, just as hers did mere minutes ago. Did she feel this same elation? The red light began to fade and I knew my partner was standing there, without her suit, but I just can't look down.
"Adrien, here I am". A shy tone laced her voice now. What happened to the confidence she just had? Does she think I'm going to be disappointed?
"My lady, whats wrong?"
"You're not looking, it makes me think this was a mistake. Should I change back? Do you not want to know who I am?" She asks, almost rambling.
"More than anything my lady, don't change back, I just need a minute". I explain.
"I get it, take your time. Would you like to make a game out of it? It might be easier on you if you find out on your own". She jokes with me.
"Actually, yes. Thank you for understanding." I say with gratitude, it will also give me some time to build up my courage.
"Ok ask me anything." She perks up, confident again.
"Where do you go to school?" I ask the safe question first.
"Why, Francois Dupont High School, maybe you've heard of it?" She giggles.
"I love your laugh, my lady. It always warms my heart when its cold and alone," I remember how much I missed it during my absence.
"It seems that we go to the same school, but you knew that already, Didn't you? Next question then, how old are you?"
"I am sixteen, almost seventeen. My birthday is only a few months after yours, kitty". She teases. Her hand reaches up to lace itself in my hair. A soft purr releases itself from the back of my throat.
"I have missed that purr , I've missed you". She teases, again.
She is so comfortable with me, she must be a friend. I reach my finger up to tap it on my lips again and hum to myself as I think of the next question I should ask, "Are we in the same class?" I conclude is a safe question to ask while I think ahead to the next one.
"Yes my kitty, we are". She reaches up to hook her finger around the one tapping my lips, her skin soft. She lowers our hands to the side and I allow my fingers to entangle in hers. She leans up to my ear and whispers, "You know, rumor has it that you got that habit from me, at least thats what Alya tells me".
My eyes shoot open, I've lost all function to my body. All this time, its been her, right behind me in class. The one who always smells of delicious baked goods, who sneaks me as many as she can without getting me in trouble. The girl who I worked so hard to build a friendship with, just to get her to talk to me. The super talented designer who wins all of my fathers contests, who has a design for every circumstance. The daughter of the family who has already accepted me as their own, whose face is adorable when covered in the flour that I accidentally put there. She is so kind to everyone she meets, and cares for all of her friends deeply. The girl I used to visit as Chat, often. It all slides into place, all of my times with Ladybug were with her, just in a mask. The woman I love, is in fact my best friend. I am actually the lucky one.
"Adrien?" She asks.
"Marinette," her name finally passes through my lips.
"Yes, its me, Adrien," the way she says my name, how did I never realize it before? Its always been her voice. Its as if Ladybug is gone and I only see Mari. She must feel the same way about me, that I am now only Adrien. All three of me morphing into one in a second. Its a strange feeling that I do not think I could even begin to compare, let alone explain, but I am happy.
I glance downwards and look into the eyes I know well. The tears I have been holding back begin to flow and my thoughts begin to race, while every memory of our times together floods back to me. The memories of my time with Ladybug as Chat, knowing now that every time it was her. My memories of Plagg, and the constant reminder of how much I want him back. Worst of all, knowing that my enemy knows my identity and has taken away everything in my life that has ever made me happy. Its all so overwhelming. He cannot have her.
"Adrien, are you ok?" She interrupts my thoughts.
I reach up to my face and rub away the tears, "I've never been better, Mari".
My hands find her face and form a cup for her cheeks, I place my forehead on hers and allow the tears to fall again.
"My lady, despite my abilities, it seems that I am the lucky one. Now I can see why you are as amazing as you are. I am so impressed by you, for three years I have been fighting by your side and every time we come out on top. When I am having a bad day, you always make it better, no matter what form you're in. You protect me when I am unable to protect myself. When I am too emotional, you become the more rational one, and whenever I need a friend you always seem to be there for me. I am so lucky to get to be your partner, and friend Marinette, its no wonder I fell for you, twice".
Her face blushes at my confession and I realize what just came out of my mouth. I've never been good at keeping my emotions in check, my father likes to remind me of it constantly. I hope I didn't scare her away with my second confession of the night.
"Adrien, get out of your head, silly kitty. You know that I too get into trouble or cannot control my emotions sometimes and then you seem to switch to the protector and the rational one. You've always been a wonderful friend for me, as Adrien and as Chat, don't be embarrassed by your feelings. I will always be your partner and you never need to hide yourself around me, I know that in your normal life there is always a spotlight on you and that you need to be well kept, but be yourself with me. Let me help you find who you are. After all, I fell for you twice too, remember?
I haven't felt this way for a long time, having to hide myself and my feelings for so long, that I almost forgot what true freedom was. Chat used to be my escape, but I still was never really able to be myself completely.
My heart is so heavy with Plagg missing, but it seems lighter now, as if I know now that no matter what, I will get him back. With Marinette as my partner, I am not worried anymore. I now have all the confidence that the world can offer.
I think back to all of my conversations with Plagg about all of the past Chat Noirs and how they always found their way back to their partners. I guess I should have expected her to be closer than I thought, but how could I seriously not see it? She is so amazing as Marinette and as Ladybug, and I fell for both of them. She is always there for me, always there to keep me straight. Though, she just said the same thing about me, how I keep her steady and how we take on the roles of being each others strength when we are weak. Its almost like a…balance.
A warmth takes over me and a quick chuckle releases itself from me, "That sounds like a deal Mari, I'd really like that, you are my balance and I am so glad its you that I get to lean on".
"As long as I can lean on you, too". She says back with the sweetest voice.
"Of course, bugaboo, will you help me get Plagg back?" I ask, removing my forehead from hers, peering into her eyes with a deep determination.
"Of course, Adrien, anything you need".
I was watching her lips as she spoke, but they weren't moving. The voice was a higher pitch and quite comforting. A red kwami flies into my vision, and I hear Marinette chuckle lightly.
"Hello Adrien, I'm Tikki. I've been waiting to meet you, though I thought it would be with Plagg. Lets get him back safe, ok?"
I nod my head to agree, "Of course, Tikki. I'm sorry to have lost him," I say as I hang my head lower to show my shame.
"I think we have a lot to talk about, Adrien. A long time ahead of us, not that we aren't used to late nights". Marinette chimed in, giggling. "Tikki, spots on!"
The bright red light fills the alley way and I finally get to see her transform in front of me. The red suit taking over her body and the mask forming on her beautiful face. I am so lucky to be able to witness this, after all this time. I feel her grab me by my waist and hear her yo-yo zip away to the nearest roof. I subconsciously bend my knees to prepare for the lift that was about to come.
"You ready, Mon Chaton?"
A huge grin appears on my face as I nod in agreement, "I'm ready, my love".
With that, we lifted off, shooting through the Paris skyline, a rush I hadn't felt in so long. I am so happy to have her back, so excited for what was to come and so happy to finally make a plan to get Plagg back.
Blinded by my own excitement of what was currently happening around me I almost missed her mischievous smile, glorious and beautiful. Truly Chat-like.