We land softly on the balcony of her house, as if to not disturb a soul that lives there. She sets me down and quickly mutters to Tikki to transform her back to Marinette, which I'm not sure I will ever get used to. She heads to her trap door after giving me a look that I am quite familiar with. She is going to go grab some snacks and hot cocoa for us, something we did often when I would visit her as Chat. I have always loved the view from her balcony, with the park in direct view, its quiet and relaxing. Over to the left I see the school, the memory of the battle from earlier that day looming on my conscious, I should probably apologize for that still, though it may be fruitless now.
I walk over to the table to close the umbrella so we will be able to see the stars better, then grab a match to light the candles. The atmosphere will be heavy once we begin spilling our secrets, so anything to help lighten it will prove beneficial. I turn on the globe lights that hang on the perimeter of the balcony. I contemplate sitting on the railing like I would always do as Chat but now it seems a little more daunting without my staff. I grab a chair and take a seat and peer out over the city awaiting the return of my lady.
Marinette returns a few moments later with a tray of cookies, hot cocoa and a cable of some kind.
"Hey, whats the cable for?" I break the silence.
"I tried calling you while I was grabbing cookies to see what you wanted, and your phone was off, so I brought you a cable to charge it, just in case it has died".
"You always think of everything, my lady," I say as I reach into my pocket to find a dead phone.
I reach for the cable to plug it in and allow it to be brought back to life with what I'm sure will be many missed calls and messages. I cringe as I think about my father, Nino and especially Alya.
"Whats wrong, kitty? Why the long face?"
"I just thought about how long I have been gone, and about how I never responded to Nino or Alya after the akuma battle. Which by the way, I'm sorry for what I said to you during the akuma fight, I shouldn't have said that Chat had abandoned you, I just wanted you to use your lucky charm".
She looks down to the ground and I immediately get up to go over to her. I lift her head up and look at the wound above her eye. Luckily its not too deep and can be easily covered up, but that brings up a million questions that need to be asked, though I should still focus on the apology at hand.
"Mari, I'm sorry I abandoned you. I know you already apologized for me not being able to come to you, but I want you to know that it was just as much my fault and I let my pride take over. I knew that the second I told you that It would become real and I didn't think that I was ready to face it alone". I took a deep breath, I looked up to the wound again and started to rub it. I looked down and saw her eyes watching me and continued.
"I watched the battle today on the Ladyblog and saw you get hurt, which terrified me. I knew I couldn't keep doing what I was doing, I had to tell you what happened. You needed your partner back, even if that wasn't me. Why did you get cut, Mari? We've never bled before".
I lean down to place a gentle kiss on her wound, and hear her breath hitch as I realize what I just did. I remove my lips and look into her shocked eyes.
"Mari, I'm so sorry if I overstepped my boundary! Its something my mom used to do and I guess I just got caught up in the moment…"
"Its ok, Adrien. You took me by surprise is all, you don't ever need to apologize to me for protecting me, " she reassures me. A soft silence surrounds us and it feels like we are the only two people alive.
"We need to talk…about everything".
She steps away from me and motions to the chairs. My heart drops to my stomach again, dreading what is to come. Only bad things seem to come from these conversations and I'm not sure if I can handle it. Nevertheless, I will be strong for her, and for myself. I grab a chair and turn it backwards to rest my arms on the back of the chair, then grab one of the cookies on the platter. I realize now just how hungry I am, as I have not eaten since breakfast.
"Mari, why did you bleed today?". I glance up from my cookie and look up to my partner, her head down, grasping her warm mug as if it were supplying her the bravery that she needed to ask that question. I don't dare ask her to look up at me, as I know my own strength is wavering with the story I am about to divulge to her. I scoot my chair closer to her and lay my hand on hers, trying to give her my strength, though I am sure she is giving me more of hers. Her hand unwinds from its placeholder and lays on top of mine, the warmth from her cup ever prevalent on the tips of her fingers.
She sighs and looks up to me, ready to tell a story.
"When Wayzz stopped sensing the Cat Miraculous, Master Fu had summoned me. He had asked me if I knew what had happened to you and I told him the truth, that I had no clue, that I haven't even noticed that you went missing. We speculated, but ultimately we came up dry and assumed the worst. Then he told me about the legend of our Miraculouses, and how they are a balance, so much so that when they are not in use, their case is a literal Yin and Yang, like the Chinese lore. Without destruction, there is no creation, and vise versa. Adrien, its almost like we are soulmates, intertwined with each other."
I raise my hand to the back of my neck and start nervously rubbing it, "Yeah, I kinda already knew that, Plagg told me that recently".
She looked at me with a questioning look, "Why didn't you tell me that as soon as you found out?"
"Would you have believed me before Master Fu had told you? Be honest?"
She looked down to her mug again and was deep in thought for a bit, I kept looking at her, wondering why I never saw that she was Ladybug before. How could I have missed it?
"You're right, kitty. I probably wouldn't have believed you, and I'm sorry for that now. After you went missing, I realized how much you meant in my life, and how empty I felt without you around. I realized, too late, that I did actually care about you as more than I led on and that I was lying to myself all those years. I regret coming that conclusion after I thought you were dead, but I feel like the universe is giving me a second chance to make it up to you, and I do not intend to take that for granted. You were chosen to be my partner for a reason and now I can see just how much you balance me, as Adrien and as Chat. Thank you, kitty".
I was speechless, only little gasps were releasing from my mouth as I thought of something to say in return, but the truth was that I couldn't. I didn't need to either, she grabbed my hand which warmly reminded me that there was no need.
"Are you saying that now because you know its me?" I ask, with instant regret.
With her eyebrow slightly raised, she looked deep into my eyes, almost asking me if I were serious.
"No, Adrien. I was perfectly fine with not finding out who you were tonight, remember?"
"Right," I reply, almost forgetting that it was my idea to reveal myself tonight, but why was she so confident in being able to get my ring back, by herself? Just as I had opened my mouth to ask, she continued her story.
"After we had come to the conclusion that you were gone, we needed to find out where the ring had gone, and the only place to start was to do some experimentation on myself to see if the ring was still active".
"What kind of experimenting?" I asked, worry laced in my voice.
"Don't worry kitty, I'm still here aren't I?" She asks in an attempt to calm me.
"Anyway, Master had told me that because of that balance, when I would use my abilities without yours that my body would eventually become more 'human' inside of the suit, including my instincts like sound and vision. We had decided that during the next few akuma attacks, I would use my Lucky Charm and see what would happen to me. If my abilities weakened, then the Cat Miraculous wouldn't be in your possession, but if I remained the same, it meant that it was still with you". She turned her head back to her lap, swirling her drink, unable to continue.
A deep sigh, releases from my body, I already know where this story is heading next. She and Fu had come to the conclusion that I had disappeared without my ring, or it had been taken or worse. "When I was watching you during the fights, I had noticed that you were becoming more haphazard and careless, though I had just chalked it up to you having to do the job of two people, which, I'm sorry about. I had briefly thought about the possibility of the balance, but I didn't know how accurate Plagg had been".
"Adrien, I told you to stop apologizing to me, you don't need to," a hint of annoyance in her voice, "Yes, we did realize the same thing, after a week or so and thats when I started bleeding during the battles, you could only see it for the first time today because it was on a part of me outside of the suit. We had concluded that the ring was not with you anymore and I assumed that you had died. I was devastated".
I watched her face turn from annoyance to grief, as I'm sure the memories of the past month had flooded her mind and wracked her body. I quickly grabbed her up and threw her into an embrace. I heard the clatter of her mug on the floor and I knew that maybe it was a little sudden, but I cannot allow her to grieve because of my selfishness anymore. She has had to be so strong for too long, and I need to start making up for that now.
I felt her body relax as she finally let all of the tears flow. She began to grab my shirt and shake from the emotion. We remained in this position for some time and I can tell she had been keeping all of that in, for a longer than she needed to. Even at school as Marinette, I never saw any kind of pain or sadness from her, just her usual bubbly self. How could I not see the turmoil she was going through? Either she is a great actress, which I doubt, I have seen her act before or I just was not paying attention and was instead probably only focusing on my own issues. She truly is amazing.
We stood there awhile, the only sound were the occasional sobs. I began to run my fingers through her hair, in hopes to add some comfort to this vulnerable moment. Not too long after she began to breathe normally again.
"You spilled my cocoa, kitty." She mumbled.
"You can have mine, bugaboo". I place a light kiss on her head and separate myself from her to allow her to sit back down. I hand her my mug and a few cookies.
"I'm sorry about your shirt," she said bashfully.
"Its ok, its just a shirt, it will dry. Do you feel better?" I ask, a bit of concern in my voice.
"Yes, I feel much better, thank you for allowing me to do that, apparently I needed a good cry," she giggles.
Theres that old humor I knew well. I grab her hand and begin rubbing her fingers in comfort while she relaxes and calms down further. I think back to earlier in the day, just after the akuma battle and remember her going straight to Master Fu's. The lingering question from earlier still prevalent in my mind.
"I have a question about something you had said earlier, do you mind if I ask you now?"
She looks up to me, with intense eyes, laced with a hint of worry. She nods hesitantly and grants me permission to question.
"You said earlier that you were ok with not finding out who I was tonight, almost like you were ok with just keeping your eyes closed until we got my Miraculous back. If you are getting weaker the more you use your powers, and me without mine, how were you planning on getting it back? Wouldn't you need my help? Why did you go straight to Master Fu's?
"Well, we have been discussing passing out the other three Miraculouses. We figured I would need the help, since I am becoming weaker without you. I guess I didn't think too much about it, I'm sure now that I would have eventually needed to know who you were, but I guess keeping the secret from you for three years was weighing on my conscience, but I was just so happy to hear your voice again that I didn't care who you were under the mask. I just needed you, again".
It was my turn to be shocked, "The other Miraculouses? Three of them! To whom?"
"Yes, the fox miraculous and the…" She began.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know which ones, wait, I only know of the two. Did you find the peacock one? I interrupt her, trying to wrap my mind around three new teammates, I realize I'm rambling, but she did just drop a bomb on me. We are going to have a new team, three new members of the Miraculous family that need to be trained. How much time is that going to take? Wait, what am I thinking, I can't help out, I'm useless.
"I'm useless, how can I even help you with that, I'm not your partner anymore".
"Adrien, you will always be my partner. Stop thinking otherwise. You're Chat Noir with or without the mask, don't forget that." She says slightly annoyed again.
Obviously my Chat is showing, but I am reminded of Plagg again, and how badly I need him back in my life. The empty feeling in my heart showing itself again, taunting me.
"Fu has decided to pass on his Miraculous in addition to the bee and fox".
"Oh…" I think to the bracelet that Master Fu wears, the one he will be giving up to help Ladybug out, to help me out. It is true that he is getting up there in age, but that is still a hard decision to make, one that I know well. All of his time as the Guardian, passing it on to her, us.
"Wow…" I mutter, breathlessly.
"We could actually use your help, Fu has picked who he will be passing his on to and I have decided on who will be receiving the fox. Tomorrow we will begin our discussions on who should receive the bee."
"You want my help? After I lost mine?" I asked confused.
"Yes, Adrien. You are Chat Noir, my partner and my balance. I need you, as always. We're a team, remember? We will get Plagg back, with or without the help of the new team, nothing can stop us, it never has and it never will."
A new confidence surges through me. Yes, a lot of things are happening because I couldn't keep my thoughts cool and I lost my ring, but that is something that I cannot change. I cannot keep thinking about 'what ifs'. I need to focus on the future, and on working together with Marinette and Fu. They have chosen to trust me still and I need to prove to them that I am still authentic.
"Yes, you're right Marinette, I'm sorry for forgetting that. I have been beating myself up for the last month over what happened and I need to focus on whats right, and thats that I am Chat Noir and will remain that way, with or without the mask. I'm sorry it took me this long to tell you that I'm still here, but I will make that up to you with my dedication on what we think the next plan of action should be, and to our new team, but mostly to you. We will get the ring back, and I promise you that we will remain balanced for the remainder of our time as Ladybug and Chat Noir," I declare.
"Good, and I to you, kitty." She smiles softly at me and reaches her hand to my head and begins to scratch softly behind my ears, a weakness she is very familiar with. A purr releases itself from my chest as my eyes droop closed. My body leans forward and I have to catch myself with gripping the chair.
"That should be proof enough that you are still Chat, even without your ring."
My eyes open after a moment to meet her beautiful blue eyes that dance in the candlelight. Her beauty is breathtaking, and I cannot help but think about how lucky I am. I glance over to the moon, and remember how she is always the light in the darkness, guiding me. A stable force in the havoc that is my life.
I grab her hand to place a soft kiss and hold it to my lips. Her cheeks blush as her eyes divert from mine. Nervous is cute on her. I reach my hand to the back of her head and slowly bring us closer to each other, until our foreheads meet. My breathing becomes forced as I tilt her chin up. I can feel her breath on my lips, something I have dreamed about forever. She reaches her hands to wrap around the back of my neck as our lips begin to brush.
"Adrien…?"
"Yes, Mari…?"
"If were going to do this, then I need to know what happened, because I know that once I kiss you, I won't be able to stop," she breathes. Every syllable brushing against my lips.
I sigh, deeply, then pull away. I allow my heart to calm down before I continue.
"Ok, my lady, but you need to promise me two things".
She looks up to me, searching my eyes for an answer. To which she finds none, "What's that Kitty?"
"That if you still love me afterwards, that I can kiss you as much as I want".
"Pinky promise!" She says happily as she reaches her pinky towards me, I lace my pinky in hers and kiss her knuckle and lay both hands in my lap.
"And…whats the second, silly kitty?"
"Our new teammates must never, and I repeat, never know about my purr." She giggles and I continue, "Seriously though, I meant it when I said that if you choose for me to not be Chat Noir, then I will bow out." I say, almost regretfully but with my full intention on how serious I am.
"Adrien, I already told you, we are partners, through thick and thin. You have forgiven me in the darkest of times and I will do the same for you. Hawkmoth got to you in some way, and we know that he goes after people when they are at their lowest. How could I be angry at that enough to not want you to be my partner, especially after three years of loyalty between us?"
"I am just allowing you that option, should you need it. A way out".
She sighs deeply, knowing she cannot change my mind. She relaxes and leans back in her chair, hand still in mine.
"Alright, I promise, now will you tell me what happened?"
"Yes, my lady" I raise her hand and press my lips to it, hoping this isn't the last time I get to touch her, afraid of whats to come after telling the story.