"Where are you going, Elle?" A male voice caused me to jump and I swerved a bit in the road. Getting my bearings, I glanced over my shoulder into the backseat of the truck where I'd heard the voice, but the only one there was Abby. Looking back at the road, I focused on my breathing. I was so close, but I wasn't sure if I'd make it. My head felt heavy, my skin was starting to pale and I felt like I was on fire.

"Seriously, where is she going?" The voice asked again, and I glanced in the rear-view mirror, finally catching sight of the speaker. Eric looked just as he had before—his brown hair was neatly combed and he was looking down at the car seat where Abby was. I focused on the road and tried to ignore his ghostly form.

"She's doing right by us." Someone else spoke, and I looked into the mirror again. Amy was on the other side of the car seat and was smiling down at her daughter. I stared at the two of them for a few seconds before focusing on the road.

"I'm so glad you found each other," I said quietly.

Suddenly a figure appeared next to me and I looked over to see Philip. He had a grim expression on his face as he stared right at me, but didn't say anything. He didn't have to. We both knew I had very little time left.

I stepped on the gas, and in less than hour I reached a familiar road and an all-too familiar gate. Pulling right up to it, I turned off the truck and hopped out. Taking out my Ruger, I aimed up and fired two shots. Then I waited.

After a while, the gate slowly opened. Charlotte was peeking out carefully and when she saw me her eyes narrowed.

"You need to leave, Elle," she said. A gun barrel emerged in my face, but I ignored it and took a step forward.

"Charlotte, please… hear me out…," I begged. She didn't look convinced and gripped the gate, ready to close it.

"Don't come back here or I will kill you." She went to shut the metal door, but I grabbed it and dropped my pistol to the ground. With my freehand, I reached up and pulled my shirt part-ways down, showing her the bite mark in my skin. Her eyes widened in shock as she stared down at it. I clutched onto the gate, suddenly feeling very lightheaded.

"Please…" I whispered.

A look of sympathy came over her face. She paused a few seconds and then nodded. Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned from her and went to the truck. Hefting the car seat out, I almost stumbled back when I took the weight of it on me. I struggled to carry it over, but I managed to bring Abby past the threshold of the gate and into the walls of the school.

Charlotte looked down at the baby.

"Is that Amy and Eric's child?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, meeting her gaze.

"What happened to them?"

I was relieved when Charlotte closed the gate and took the car seat from me.

"They're gone," I answered gravely.

Charlotte closed her eyes and simply nodded. "You better come in."

I glanced over to where my friends were buried and then to little garden that appeared to still have vegetation. Vivienne would like that. As we stepped into the school, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu . It still looked the same…but it wasn't. Doveport was made up of people, and they were gone now.

We headed down the hall and Charlotte guided me into the principal's office. I tried to ignore the guilt that began to build. I wondered if she knew that it was the room her brother died in. Doveport had been a safe haven to me, but to Charlotte, it was where she'd lost everything.

She rounded the desk and set Abby down on top of it. Then, she sat down in the principal's chair—a chair that had once been Philip's, and even had become mine at one point in time. I didn't sit, afraid I wouldn't be able to get back up, so I held onto the desk for support while I stood.

"I'm sorry," I said, meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry about your family and about your brother. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I just know you shouldn't be alone. No one should have to be alone…" I stopped to take a few breaths and was surprised she was letting me speak. After catching my breath, I swallowed. "Derek told me…about your girls. You were a mom once…you've done this before…you know how to be a good mom."

"Where's Negan?" Charlotte asked suddenly and I frowned.

"He doesn't know I've been bitten. I need to get back to him. I need him to know I didn't leave…I just…I need to do this…"

I glanced down into the car seat at the little face that was now awake and staring up at me with curious eyes.

"Amy wanted her to be safe. Negan has made a lot of enemies, and I can't let her get caught up in all of it. I know it's a lot to ask, but I need you to take care of her."

Charlotte stood up and looked into the car seat to study Abby. The binky fell out of the baby's mouth and she began to cry. I went to take her out of the car seat, but Charlotte beat me to it. She unbuckled her and picked her up. After bouncing her a little bit, Abby calmed down.

"How did Amy die?" she asked without looking up at me. I took shallow breaths and tried to ignore the memory of my dying friend.

"A walker got her."

Just like it got me…

Charlotte stared at Abby as she answered my former question.

"Okay." She looked up from the baby and nodded. "I'll take care of her."

I smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Charlotte."

I knew they would resent me for it, but I wanted to give Abby her best chance. It wasn't that Negan and Vivienne didn't care about Abby, I just knew she wasn't their main priority. Charlotte would raise her the way Amy would have wanted. No burned faces. No bashed in skulls. Abby would see horrible things in this new world, but she wouldn't have to see that side of Negan, or face the wrath of Alexandria.

"Please tell her that her mom and dad loved her more than anything. She was their entire world. And that they're proud of her."

Charlotte seemed to be taking in my words and I realized I was repeating what Amy had asked of me.

"Teach her how to survive, but also…please teach her to be kind. She needs to be able to protect herself, but she has to… show mercy. She needs to be good."

"I'll do my best," Charlotte said, looking down at Abby. She smiled wide as the baby giggled at her. I truly felt like I was doing the right thing. It was a lot to ask of Charlotte, but even in my dizzy state, I could tell her maternal instincts were strong.

I stepped forward, and stumbled a bit. Clutching onto the desk, I closed my eyes and willed myself to keep going. I wasn't done yet.

Opening my eyes, I found my vision was blurry. I focused my sight on Abby—her little rosy cheeks and big, beautiful eyes. Taking another step forward, I reached out my hand to her little one and felt her tiny fingers wrap around mine.

"Goodbye, Abby," I whispered, letting a few tears roll down my cheeks. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

She was a symbol of the future. A promise that tomorrow would still be there, even if I wouldn't.

I turned to go when Charlotte spoke.

"Elle…"

I faced her again and she smiled sympathetically at me.

"Thank you."

I wasn't sure if she was thanking me for trusting her with Abby or for helping her escape Negan. It didn't matter. I just smiled a little and nodded my head at her.

"Good luck."

As I walked out of the school, I stumbled as I went. I could barely see ahead of me and knew driving back to the Sanctuary was going to be impossible. As I crossed the yard and opened the gate, I saw there was a second truck parked next to the one I'd stolen. Stepping out of it, was Negan who had a scowl on his face.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he demanded. I clutched onto the metal door and swayed back and forth. "Where's Abby?!"

I was crying as he approached me.

"Please…let me do this," I pleaded.

"I know Charlotte's here, Elle. My men have had eyes on her for weeks now. Why the fuck are you bringing the baby to her?"

"Because your world isn't made for children, Negan!" I argued. "She needs to have a chance!"

"You want her to live here? Charlotte's just one fucking person, Elle. She'll be safer at the Sanctuary!" He had a bewildered look on his face. He didn't understand… I needed to make him understand…but I could barely hold myself up.

"You've made enemies…with the Alexandrians. They're not…going to stop. I don't want her to get hurt…" I felt a bead of sweat roll down from the side of my face as I clutched onto the gate for support. "I promised Amy…I would keep her safe, so that's what I'm doing. Charlotte was a mother. We took away….the last of her family. Abby lost her family too and…I don't want her to be alone…"

"She's not alone. She has you," he said. He was watching me confused, not understanding why I was doing what I was doing. I knew I couldn't put it off any longer, and as he watched me, I slowly brought a hand up to my shirt. Pulling it down, I revealed the walker bite.

Negan turned white as his eyes went to my chest. He zoned in on the bite and brought a hand up to his mouth in shock.

"No…" he whispered. "No…."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, as my knees began to shake. There was a throbbing pain in my head, and suddenly my legs fell out from under me.

Negan caught me just as everything went black.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw only the sky. The sun was setting and painted the sky in a soft orange a pink. My eyelids were heavy and my skin felt like it was on fire. I tilted my head a bit and realized I was on the ground laying against something. A few moments later, I turned to see a familiar leather jacket. I was laying against Negan. He had his arms wrapped around me and was holding me up against his chest. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I gasped for breath.

"I don't know what to do…" His voice came from above me. Looking up, I saw Negan's face. His hardened mask was gone. He was crying.

Reaching up, I brushed the tears away from his cheeks. My own hand felt so heavy. He looked down to see I was awake and began to cry harder.

"Elle…"

"It's gonna be okay…" I said in a quiet voice.

Negan's body shuddered and he brushed some hair away from my face. It was damp with sweat.

"I wanted so much more with you. We were going to rebuild things. Together. I can't lose you…" he choked back a sob and pressed his face into my hair. "I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault…" I whispered. My voice sounded far away. There was still so much left to be said, but I knew I'd run out of time.

Turning my head, I looked over at the school. Though my vision was foggy, I could make out shapes standing by the front doors. I squinted, trying to see better and my heart swelled.

Philip, Amy, Eric, and Seth were all standing there, smiling warmly at me. Seeing them caused me to smile as much as I could. My whole body was weak and I could barely manage the gesture. I knew I had to be hallucinating, but I found comfort in seeing them one last time.

"I'm…home," I said, my voice was almost inaudible.

I was terrified to die, but maybe…just maybe…I'd be with them again.

Looking up at the sky, I stared at the beautiful colors. I took short, shallow breaths and felt my body relax against Negan's. It wasn't painful. I didn't feel warm anymore. It was almost as if I was going to sleep. I fought to keep my eyes open, not wanting to leave him just yet.

I tried to find my voice, needing to tell him one more thing, but I couldn't speak.

I felt a strange calmness start to come over me, and there was a sweet comfort in the feeling. Just as it began to pull me away, I heard Negan's voice.

"I love you."

I hope he knows I loved him too.

Epilogue

"I love you." My voice cracks as I say it, but I need her to hear it. When she doesn't reply, I glance down and watch her chest.

It's not moving.

Just like that—she's gone.

Leaning down, I press a kiss to her forehead. It's still warm, but she's no longer breathing. I wonder if she heard me. Does it even fucking matter? She's dead—just like Lucille—just like every single person I have ever given a fucking damn about.

I sit there on the ground holding her for a few long moments, knowing damn well she's going to turn. I don't want to see her like that, but I know I don't have much time.

My biggest regret has always been not putting Lucille down.

I won't make that mistake with Elle.

Taking out my knife, I stare down at her. She looks peaceful as she rests against my chest. I turn her head to the side, not wanting to ruin her beautiful face. Pressing the knife through her skull, I plunge it into her brain, reassuring she won't come back.

Pulling out the knife, I let it fall off to the side and hold her body in my arms, knowing she won't change. I stare down at her corpse and then begin to cry again. Hugging her to me, I don't want to get up. I don't want to leave her…

But it's not her anymore.

I watch as the sun finishes setting, holding her body as it loses its warmth. As the night sky takes form above my head, only then do I get up, leaving Elle's body on the ground. Charlotte is standing by the front doors holding Abby, watching me. She looks sympathetic, but doesn't approach. I know she hates me for what I did to her brother. Maybe this is fucking karma. Maybe this is what I deserve.

"Do you have a shovel?" I ask in an emotionless voice. Charlotte nods and disappears into the school. Glancing over at the graves of Elle's friends, I know I need to lay her to rest properly. She deserves that.

Charlotte brings me a shovel and I spend the next hour digging Elle's grave next to the others. As I work, I try not to look over at her corpse laying near the gate. Instead, my gaze goes to the parking lot where I'd first met her. She took charge, and did everything to try and protect her people.

I'd come to this community, planning on controlling it.

I never planned on her.

It takes a long time, but eventually I have a big enough spot dug. Picking up Elle's body which is now ice cold, I carry her over to the new grave and gently lay her down in it. I don't have a nice coffin, but I hope this will be enough.

Covering her in dirt, I watch as she disappears into the earth. Once the grave is filled, I drop the shovel and fall on my knees before her little spot of land. Charlotte approaches me cautiously, this time Abby isn't with her. I assume she's inside the school. I feel numb as I stare down at the fresh dirt.

"Negan…" Charlotte suddenly says, but trails off. There's nothing left to be said. She's gone.

Hanging my head down, I get to my feet and turn my back to her grave.

I can't look at it anymore.

"If you need anything, my men will get it for you…" I say low, walking towards the gate. Charlotte follows me as I go.

"Your men?" she asks, not understanding.

"I'll send them every week with supplies for you and the kid. You won't be harmed and can stay at the school."

Charlotte nods, but seems hesitant. I glance over at the school doors and want so badly to go inside and say goodbye to Abby, but I know it would be too difficult. I can't have anything to do with her life from this point on.

"I'm sorry," she says, stopping once we reach the gate. I continue on my way to the truck.

"Goodbye, Charlotte."

I don't drive away at first; I just stare down the road and want so badly to wake up from this hellish fucking nightmare. I'd been ready to give up my wives…to become something better for her. Now that she's dead, I feel lost.

Suddenly my radio hisses to life.

"Boss?" Simon's voice comes through.

I reach for my radio and bring it up to my face.

"What?" I snap, masking my sorrow with anger.

Simon pauses. He knows something is wrong, but he doesn't dare ask what. After a few seconds, he speaks.

"We've got these guys backed into a corner, but they think they're pulling a fast one on us. They've got one guy in the RV, but the others are trying to sneak to the Hilltop on foot. What do you want us to do?"

I narrow my eyes.

"Give me your coordinates. I'm on my way."

Standing alone inside the RV, I fix my red scarf around my neck and try to get my mind off Elle. I keep picturing her face, cold and dead in my lap. Then I remember the way she smelled—the way she would have fought me on this. I wished she would just fucking manifest right there and try to stop me, but I know she's gone.

Of course she's fucking gone…

I need to make these people pay.

I step over to the little table where a machine gun is waiting for me. Once Simon lines them all up, I'll step out and gun them all down. It will be justice for my people.

Just as I lift the machine gun, my arm brushes against my side, and I feel something in my pocket. Reaching in, I take out the object and stare down at it…

The ping-pong ball.

Clutching my hand around it, I close my eyes and will the tears to stop. Now is not the fucking time. I can't afford to look so fucking weak—not in front of my men. But as I hold the little round object, I can't help but hear her voice inside my head…begging me to show mercy.

Maybe she was right—maybe showing mercy is the right thing to do—the good thing to do—but any ounce of goodness in me died and is buried back at that fucking school.

I'm still holding the ping-pong ball in my gloved hand when headlights flood the road. Glancing out the window, I watch as a group of people carrying a stretcher come out of the woods. Simon gathers up their weapons and then forces them onto their knees. I watch as he opens a truck to reunite them with their friends—the four others Dwight has captured.

All of them are shaking.

They look terrified.

Good.

They should be.

I hear Simon's voice muffed from inside the trailer.

"Let's meet the man…"

I set the machine gun down and instead grab my Lucille. I think about what I'm going to do, what I know has to be done.

It's a compromise, just for her—my version of mercy.

I can't spare them all. They still need to be punished.

She would have never liked it—but she's not here anymore.

I open the RV door and step outside, Lucille resting against my shoulder. I paint a smile on my face. It's showtime.

"Pissin' our pants yet?" I grin at them as I step forward, ignoring the weight of a little white ping-pong ball resting in my pocket. "Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close."

THE END