I swear that this is it from me and this story. *Hides*

xxxxxxxxxxxx

It's been nearly a year since they crossed over to what was once unfamiliar and forbidden territory. It was shocking and exciting and they really had a chance at exploring and fulfilling so many desires that were suppressed. Now in the land of reality they have found a footing that works for them between two apartments, half a dozen children, a couple grand children, and a lot of compromising and coordination. There's carpools and tournaments- there's routine and there is also support, an abundance of love and it's actually nice because somehow it just all clicks. They work well as a team in day to day life in this new capacity because it's so effortless between them and that is comforting and reassuring which means everything to her.

All of that totally out of body, and totally out of character experience back in that private party last year did was give them the freedom to be themselves. It left no secrets between them and opened up the gateway for communication in and out of the bedroom. In the privacy of their bedroom the sex was great and varied; she found herself trying to stay up late waiting for him even if she was exhausted from the day just so that she could be awake long enough for him to get out of the shower. Waiting with sleepy eyes and an eager body, pantyless in nothing but one of his t-shirts waiting for him to make love to her before she goes to sleep. She can get out of the shower and curl up in her phone checking emails after sex without having someone guilt tripping her but instead has a complete understanding of her both professionally and personally. He knows her just as well intimately as he does personally, professionally and if she was being honest, part of why she loves this life they've carved out for each other because it's nothing like the chaos and complications she feared of before they even started this. It was all very, very nice the feeling of his hands on her after a long day and after living life in such an independent way that was mostly spent alone she grows to crave his touch and support at the end of the night, it's what she's dreamed of in another life over the span of many nights and now they lay quietly in the dark after finishing quietly at 9:47pm on a work night. He cums first when he's got her on her back with her leg up holding on to her ankle when he lets himself go before pushing him off so she can slide over top and ride him to finish herself off in the seconds after. Afterwards it's nice when she can lay with her head on his lap while he scrolls on Twitter with one hand and plays with her hair with the other because there is no pressure to fill the silence, especially not when the theme song to their favourite HBO show starts playing before she falls asleep.

It works. It's soothing, it's loving and it's very satisfying.

But then Olivia ends up bumping into a woman from that party in the grocery store in the middle of the produce section and something shakes inside of her that she can't quite place. It's the woman that seemed fixated on Olivia at that party, the younger woman paired with the distinguished older man; she was the woman that Olivia's eyes seemed to follow back to find her staring when they had met at the party but she has not come up once in a year since they stepped back into reality and out of the fantasy world they were briefly apart of because she had no reason to. Elliot could swear he noticed her blushing after the conversation he watched from down at the opposite end of the aisle, one he could see but couldn't hear. Noah is nowhere near them when he runs off to the snack aisle covered in Easter goodies and nowhere to be found when she starts walking back to him.

"What'd she say to you?"

Olivia was blushing indeed, he noticed the slight pink hue creeping up through the neck of her blouse.

"Just that it was good to see me."

"That's it?"

"Yup that's it" she repeats, not really giving him any more or any less and thankfully so because just like that the woman has vanished and her son is back with his own basket full of treats. Elliot grabs it from him, drops the conversation and picks up the bill.

Olivia brings it up hours later when she's sitting on the edge of the bed in a baggy t-shirt with a face just scrubbed free of any make- up.

"That woman at the store. She said she was thinking about us…" Olivia takes off her jewelry, setting it in a small silver bowl beside the bed while watching Elliot process through the mirror at her vanity.

He pulls his t-shirt off and gets into bed wearing his boxers and he knows there was more than just a quick hi and bye in the store but doesn't want to push her either, he's also very entertained and turned on by it a little too.

"What did you say to that?" He asks without judgement, void from any jealousy or at least he tries to the best of his ability.

"I said I was surprised to see her again and that…I had thought about her too."

He watches and waits for her to slide in the bed with him.

"You think about her a lot?"

"No, not at all…"

"But…" he knows it's there lingering in silence alongside his own follow up questions.

"Not so much her but that entire situation and experience. She's crossed my mind I guess..just in passing thoughts."

Olivia is confident with her sexuality and he knows about her experiences in the past but he never really gave this specific woman much thought or picked up on anything past the party either. He saw her checking them out, her eyes following around Olivia and the both of them the entire evening.

"What kind? I'm curious is all."

Olivia and the younger woman in her early thirties with the curvy hips and long legs leaves him very curious indeed.

"Just curious?" She says, brown raised as she looks down at the tented sheet at his groin.

"Yeah…" she turns to him in bed lying on her side and looks up at him. She doesn't know how to say this or begin to properly express it, not when she's tired after a long day but she tries anyway.

"I just couldn't believe what we saw there and I guess I wondered who she was or who the man she was with there with were when those parties were all said and done..…" This is a lot, maybe too much for him but his eyes tell her otherwise. He isn't judgemental or insecure but genuinely curious and she is turned on by it.

"Just like how we went back to being us" she adds quietly. He nods in agreement because he gets it, he does and it still seems like they could've never been there themselves- two long-standing members of the NYPD but he knows that's not it.

"You have fantasies of what it would be like…" he finishes for her but he's off a little bit. It's not quite that either.

"I guess part of it is a fantasy and the other is just being flattered. I guess at my age and stage of life that someone like that is into us or attracted to someone like me is all."

"You're sexy, babe" he says, reaching over grabbing her ankle and rubbing his hands up her leg.

"I'm a mom," she says without any further explanation because it doesn't really need any. Her wild, carefree days are long since over.

"I kind of figured from the small human with your last name that lives down the hall"

"I'm a Captain, I'm…old"

"Captain you are far from old, trust me" he leaned forward and pressed his body against hers with his arm draped over her stomach, curled at her side with his hand tucked against the curve of her hip.

"It was just weird seeing her out in real life, I almost forgot about about of that whole thing"

He found himself forgetting at times too, and with how hectic their lives were it was easy to do so but it seems like she isn't against this stroll down memory lane. He looks down at her breasts moving up and down slowly with slow deliberate breaths as his hand travels back towards her stomach, making its way up to her chest.

"You liked kissing her at the party didn't you.." he stops himself because he knows he's going to come across as jealous and perhaps a bit insecure because he isn't quite sure he can share her ever even if it is just an innocent fantasy but he's way too possessive and protective of her to ever allow for that.

"It's not so much the touching or even her" she says quietly, stopping herself before continuing, "it's nothing.." looking down at his lips and the grey stubble growing in across his cheeks. She feels embarrassed but the thrumming adrenaline runs through her overpowering the bashfulness and as she runs her hand across his lap and over the bunched up sheet at his crotch she knows he likes this, he's a rock.

"What is it please? Liv, tell me.."

"It doesn't mean anything…"

"You wish I'd have fucked you at that party didn't you? Or did you want to get with that couple?"

She just stops and doesn't say anything but goes and slides out of his grasp to roll over to her nightstand and grabs a bottle, rubbing her arms with the sweet smelling lotion inside. Distracting him or maybe herself but he moves over and curls up against her again.

"Were they your type? I think we know we were theirs at this point.."

"Elliot.."

"Was she?"

"I don't have a type but if I did…" she lays down and turns to face him, arms around her waist he pulls her up against his body.

"Not into brunettes with big cans?" He smiles into her neck kissing it.

"Don't be gross" She just laughs and kisses along his jaw while he teases her.

"Let's be gross" he keeps kissing and smiling against her skin and it's all nice. This makes Olivia laugh and he shakes his head and keeps kissing her skin.

"Do you ever think about that party, El?" he stops at her question and looks up at her, brushing aside the hair thats waved near her face.

"I still can't stop thinking about how wet you were when we got back from it, that first time we..." He whispers out and she moans as he rubs he over her pants.

She puts her hand over his and moves it guides it into the waistband of her panties.

He's met with immediate wetness the second he slides his fingers inside her.

"You are beautiful….but I'm not sure I could share you or share this" and he disappears under the blankets while she kicks off helps him kick her panties off once he starts pulling them down all the way. He dips his head down and licks her steady and smoothly.

"You are far too sweet" he moans before letting his tongue find the warmth of her on him.

"I'm yours…" she sighs into her own hand, letting it cover over her mouth muffling the sounds begging to come out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She's sitting on the rug around the coffee table as she folds socks and puts them in the basket to the side a week later when he asks about it again. This time they aren't naked or caught in the moment after the surprise run-in in the grocery store. He watches her as she sorts through little stacks of small shirts and pants aside for his grandsons that were left behind and then Noah's uniform and school stuff. Now with an empty house he wants to just see what she confessed in the moment meant.

"Can I ask you something we talked about last week?" His eyes settled on the juiciness of her thighs and how perfectly her hand tucks inside when she sits on her knees with her weight on her ass and heels, he loves her now more than ever and his attraction has only grown with the years and the changes that they bring.

"Sure."

She doesn't look at him and continues sorting the laundry because she knows where this is going, he doesn't even have to say it but he will.

"We were talking about that party and that woman."

"What about it, El?" He doesn't want to annoy her or pressure her or shame her. That's never ever his intention ever. It's curiosity more than anything and being intrigued by any secrets she has after knowing her so long. After everything they've shared that she has something tucked away that gets her off sends a racing chill down his body that makes his cock twitch.

"If you were at that party alone and off the clock, would you have gone all the way there with someone?"

"It's not something I could ever see myself doing now but I do see how exciting it would be and yes I do see the appeal in that couple. If I was single and probably twenty years younger- sure..maybe if I was drinking tequila…" she jokes.

"So our relationship is holding you back?"

"Elliot, I'm a mom for God sake! I'm practically a grandmother to your grandkids."

"So moms don't have sex?"

"This mom does not have that kind of sex. I don't need to. Not when what we have satisfies me, you satisfy me- c'mon , El.."

"But if you were single you would have sex with them?"

"But I'm not and I stopped drinking tequila in the late 90s," she says seriously until he breaks out in a short laugh and plants a kiss on her forehead. He drops it and doesn't press it. For now. Later that night he's on top of her pumping away quietly in the darkness of her room, she whispers in his ear in between heavy breaths.

"There's no one that could ever make me this wet, you understand? Do you…" her eyes roll back because this only makes him fuck her harder and harder and it's true. No one has even done the things to her body that he has.

"No one has ever made me cum like this!"

She's close and he can feel her swollen and starting to convulse.

"Want me to take you somewhere nice and fuck your brains out?"

Her head snaps back and she lets out a scream in their quiet empty home.

"Want to watch yourself get fucked?"

It's not that, well not exactly not that either- not entirely but it does it for her and she shatters.

He explodes inside her instantly after that and lets his weight trap down on top of her.

Next morning during the dishes they do together after breakfast he tells her not to make plans for the upcoming weekend and to pack a bag for a cottage.

"Room for the boys there?" Olivia asks him when he tells her it's a tiny cabin not used for much else besides eating and sleeping.

"I think this should be a just us trip" he says to her and she gets it. Finds herself excited throughout the week at the idea of him wanting to steal her for the weekend somewhere remote and quiet just the two of them.

They go away to a small cabin that's been in his family that he's never really ever utilized or had the time to. He makes the excuse that he has to go check in and see how far the water has scaled back from the shore and maintenance so he brings her with him but mostly he just wants her alone, wants to get his hands on her and be somewhere new.

When they get there and start to unload and snoop around the place that looks like it hasn't been touched in years when she ends up finding an old camera bag in one of the closets. By the looks of it, it must have been from the late 90s so she opens the bag to find the camera itself and a single cord. While he stocks the fridge with the beer he picked up on the way and the steaks he planned on barbecuing for dinner she decides to plug the camera into the tiny tv sitting on the other end of the dresser by the bed and it's a black screen when she presses play. She calls him into the room and he passes her one of the beers he just opened before kissing the side of her neck as he sits beside her on the bed looking at the tv and the camera.

"Blank tape."

"Who's was this? Ancient artifacts as our children would say."

"Must have been one of my brothers or a cousin…a buddy. I never could get up here so I'm not sure"

She presses a button and the screen on the tv is now him. With the camera pointed on him she moves a bit closer to him and zooms in and out on his face, his eyes, down his nose and stays on his mouth until a large smile breaks out.

"Wanna make a movie?" Slips from her lips before she has a chance to think twice.

"Yes I do.." he snaps back instantly.

"What kind of movie?" She asks him.He walks over to her and takes it from her hands and looks in the viewfinder as he pans the camera up her legs.

"Something sexy…"

"Oh ya?"

"Mmhmm…"

"I can give you PG 13 right now" she says, smiling at him and blowing a kiss. Tossing her hair over her shoulder and winking at his lens she's playing with him.

"Oh ya?" He responds back to her and zooms in on her lips. Full, juicy even when she stops pouting them out like this before sinking her teeth down on her bottom lip.

"What about rated r?"

He zooms out and looks at her and not the camera now.

Slowly she unzips her hoodie and reveals her bare breasts free from a bra.

"Come here.."

He goes to her and they make it to the bed just seconds after he puts the camera on the dresser facing them. It's easy to forget it's there pointed on them when he kisses her like he wants to consume every inch of her, like each kiss, and each caress was meant to make her totally his and it works, it really does by the way she can't help but rock her hips into his touch, it's impossible for her hands not to pull him down up against her body. His hand reaches the edge of her panties and he stops kissing her and pulls away to look at her face both red and flush when he stops to stare at her; he finds her impossibly wet when he moves inside the delicate fabric of her panties to see how much she is into this and into him and it only causes him to drive up against her with the clothing, and his hand between them as his digits penetrate her, teasing her and testing her out before he slide himself up inside of her. It's this delicious little surprise that lets him know just how into this she is.

"Oh wow…"

"You must have liked being on camera more than I thought" he jokes but she is so wet he can hear it, she's got to too when he goes to slide his fingers in and out, becoming more and more coated by her each time he swiped over the bundle of nerves at her center.

She stops and looks over at the camera then back at him.

She also can't believe she's even entertaining this on any level in any dimension.

She's a distinguished mature professional woman. she's a captain and a mother. She's not the age for things like this. But she's been feeling adventurous, sexually curious and also comfortable enough to try anything with him Including this.

"You want to see how beautiful you look when I'm inside?"

She nods without question. There's no point in being shy or lying, he's already felt between her thighs.

"You really are something when I'm fucking your brains out too, there's this face you do right before you do that thing I really like that I'd love for you to see, or do you want to watch us make love?"

"El-"

"I like you on top when your tits are in my face, I wanna see that."

All the possibilities send him reeling, he really can't help it and that too also drives her a little crazy. He leans down and kisses her neck as he goes to free her from her open sweater revealing her breasts.

"You're so beautiful, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Like an Italian movie star from a different time …" He loves her and means every word, some days he found it hard even being in her space with her and trying to not make it about his attraction to her and just how beautiful he found her to always have been.

"Oh yeah? What would the movie be about? I have to warn you my Italian isn't that great."

"You don't have to worry because you aren't talking in this movie."

"What am I doing?"

"Whatever I say."

That makes her smirk against his lips when he goes to kiss her, his hands moving down to work the drawstring of her pants.

"And what do you want from me?"

"This.."

The minute his hand dips back inside her panties to feel her slick and warm. He's knuckle deep when she looks over behind his shoulder to see the lens on them before she speaks.breathing starts to hitch at his gentle touch.

"I'll tell you what I want."

"Anything, beautiful.."

"Pants off, go lay down."

"Copy that" He goes to follow her orders and watches her put one end of the cord in the camera and the other in the outlet in the bottom panel of the small tv on the dresser facing the bed.

She turns on the tv and then turns to him leaving the camera where it is on the dresser.

She turns to him and walks towards him and crawls her way up his body on the bed, her breasts heavy and swaying above his body as she leans down to kiss up his stomach, his cock huge and protruding from the boxers she's tugging down and off of his body.

"Here" She pulls a pillow from beside her and hands to him. It's for his head so he can lay back and enjoy the view on the tv while she ducks down and gets on all fours in between his legs. All he can see is her shapely body from behind with her round ass propped up and her curly head of hair stuffed down in between his legs bobbing up and down with his hand on the back of her head.

"How's it look?" She asks between mouthfuls of him. Her tongue always such a treat for him, the expert suck and pull she does before she fixates in the slick fat head of him but he can't really put into words what it looks like and how sexy she looks in this position for him to see with her between his legs on the screen in front of him.

"You tell me." He takes hold of his shaft and slowly pulls her away from him with the soft pop of her mouth but instead has her facing the tv now on all fours so that she can see herself with him on the bed behind her. Without warning he bends down behind her and sticks his face down to lick her with one solid swipe of his tongue, leaving his face slippery and wet all over her cheeks. It's almost too much but she can't look away; seeing his big body behind her while he has hips in his hands and his tongue lapping her clit from behind.

She can't even believe this what they look like but she forces her eyes closed to pull her body up and away from his face before she ends this show before the preview is even over. Plus she just wants to see him too, his ripped defined muscular form tanned and tattooed marked by scars and ink and she wants to see it all over her body. She would be lying to say that the two of them together didn't get a lot of attention at that party and in their daily life too. Elliot and his muscular physique and boyish blues only magnified by his rugged features, he's handsome and has had women (and men) throwing themselves at them for years but he's here and he's hers, and always has been if he was in the mood for total honesty.

His big hands go to wrap around her body and she loves the way she looks in his arms with one hand on her breast and the other softly on her neck wrapped around it. His tan, hard body big and domineering against hers with her cock hard and ready, knocking against her ass.

This is what was the fantasy in the party and the woman at the party and the memories that played in her mind. The fantasy of seeing herself and her lover in the throws of pleasure. She wants to be watched and likes it herself and he can barely open his eyes long enough to get a good look in when he looks over her shoulder and ahead towards the tv.

"You want to make a movie with me?" She nods instantly, licking her lips and him and watches as he gets up and unplugs the handheld camcorder, popping the viewfinder open at the side of it so he can look at the small flowing screen before handing it to her. She smiles at this gesture and knows he's letting her film him to take pressure off or maybe he likes showing off all his hard work in the gym off to her which she does not mind at all. His body covered in cut muscles and hair with veins protruding across his arms and the shape and size of his cock. She takes the camera and points it down at him, looking in the viewfinder she squeezes her legs shut hard at how big he looks on camera and just how big she's known him to be inside of her body. He lays her back slowly on the bed and watches her face as she looks through the small screen as she keeps the camera on him and his face when he goes to drag his dick across her wet opening, slowly pointing it down between her legs while he rubs her with his penis before slipping in.

Her eyes keep looking away from the screen and over at his chiseled form over her body with each defined muscle bulging with his slow purposeful thrusting. It's been a week since they had sex and regardless of any small sort of break from each other her body always needed that extra little time to adjust at the start to the shape and size of him.

He isn't afraid at all or camera shy, it seems like he likes it in fact. He spreads her thighs and slams into her a little harder and faster, just enough to make her breasts shake with the movement.

"You should look down at your body, you take it so, so well.."

This makes her blush hot all over, her nipples tight and so tender to the touch when she pinches them and it just makes her extra slippery when he slides himself back out of her.

"Here take this!" She wants to let him take some control after she's in this place of comfort and confidence. She wants to be filmed and hands him his camera to take over.

"There you go beautiful" he holds the camera down so that it's just showing her breasts down to her belly.

"How does it look?" She moans out while he slips back in.

"Fucking perfect, every inch is perfect…" he says as her runs his hand over her breast before squeezing and giving it a jiggle in his palm. For the camera to see and then slides his hand down over her belly moving the camera down with it and looks into her eyes for permission.

"I'm good...I'm good to film your pussy like this?"

She nods and closes her eyes as he holds the camera facing straight down. It's an intimate and close up angle that she knows is graphic, that she can't imagine anyone other than him seeing her like this ever.

"You wanna watch me fill you up? See how it looks ?" He's stuttering as he hammers into her pulling out before ramming back into her body.

"Yes I do…I'm close so you got to hurry up!"

He splits her legs wide and holds one thigh up so he can spill into her as deep as possible. It's all so much seeing her body on the small screen knowing that this is something so erotic and so out of character for them makes her cum first then he finishes in the seconds after her body starts to clench around him in deep tight waves.

It's not until long after they shower and come back to bed that they realize they weren't even recording because there wasn't even a tape inside to begin with which is a relief but comes with a tinge of tucked away disappointment that they couldn't rewatch, not like they would- not when the memory of it all isn't leaving anytime soon.

"All set? Did you grab everything?"

She nods and kisses him with the ancient camera packed away in her duffel bag before heading out the door.

——

Fin!