Love is Blind- Lapsey
OMG OK AND JESSE GOT A SNAPCHAT AND HIS STORY IS LIKE THE DORKIEST PICTURES LIKE GODDAMN JESSE WTF ARE YOU DOING STAAAAAHHHHPP XD
Erin's P.O.V.
C'mon Erin. You can do this. You can do this. He won't be mad at you. Just do it. Jays not dead, he's not dead, but if he's dying he needs to know. Just make the call.
I take a deep breath and hit the little green button on my screen.
"Erin! Jesus, where the hell are you guys?! The raids all over the news and you guys hadn't come back yet-"
"Mouse." The nervous rush of words is cut off by my voice, and I can almost see his face fall at my tone. There's a small period of silence and I know he understands what it means.
"Is he gone?" The sentence is choked on, the pain in his voice cutting straight through me.
"No. Not-not yet." I force myself to say the words. There's a swallow from the other end of the line.
"Should-do I need to get there?"
"He's still in surgery."
"Oh-Christ Erin! Lead with that next time!" I let out a bark of near hysterical laughter.
"I thought he was on his fucking death bed."
"He was shot three times in the back, one bullet traveled to his lung. He is, by a medical standpoint, on his deathbed."
"Three ti….was his spine hit?"
"I don't know. They wouldn't tell us anything. But mouse….it was bad. There was blood, so much blood and...I don't think he's making it outta this." The tears have once again started to flow down my face. I sniffle.
"Erin, he's not gone yet. He's still here, still fighting. You gotta fight with him, or he's got nothing to fight for." The words punch me in the gut. He's right, I know he is. Desperate for air i abruptly try and change th subject, voice intentionally hard.
"Voight wants you to check in with Platt, see if anything happened before coming down. We're all at med. I'll let you know if we hear anything."
"Erin?"
"Yeah."
"Don't give up on him. Not yet." It's my turn to swallow hard.
"Ok." I whisper.
"See you later Lindsay." There's a click as the line goes dead. I nod, more for the self reassurance than the idea he could somehow see me. I pocket the phone, grabbing a paper towel to wipe my tear soaked face. I don't know why, but my brain always makes the assumption that the woman's bathroom is the safest place to be when making heart breaking decisions.
Hell, now that I think about, every time I've been in a hospital I have ended up in the woman's bathroom. It's like my designated hidey hole when emotionally compromised. There's sinks to wash off blood and Voight can't come in here because he is a guy and it's, well, a girl's room. Although, that hasn't exactly stopped him before.
After splashing some water on my face and drying it again, I look semi-calm. I pull out my badge and stare. Gripping the metal with white knuckles I take a deep breath then exit the bathroom, pushing the brass back onto my belt. My phone buzzes from Mouse and I give another small nod to myself.
We have work to do.
O-_-/-_-O
Jess's P.O.V.
"Rachel." I whisper, my voice floating silently across the hotel room that is crowded with sleeping body's. I double lock the door again. Her head lifts to stare at me. It's near pitch dark in the room, the only light coming from the fading sun outside the closed curtains. Everyone climbed off our eleven hour flight ready to collapse, and just about did once we got to the hotel room.
With a little duct tape Greyson and I made sure no light could seep past the windows, but the curtains are woolen and cheap, so a small amount of sunlight passes through them regardless of our efforts. The boys took one bed, my sister and I had the other...for about five minutes, before I had to disentangle myself from Jordan and go find a fucking hardwire connector.
Don't think I've ever done anything harder than peeling my head of that heavenly pillow. But when Rachel asks for you do to do something, and she specifically tells you what would happen if it was more than just you, well, you do it. By yourself. Without anyone knowing. Even if you bout to pass out from exhaustion.
I'm all honesty, I'm not really comfortable with me being this exhausted and moving, because it gives my consciousness a chance to fuck shit up in the mental department. As it was, I had to try, actually put a considerable amount of effort into not having a PTSD led anxiety attack in the local library I was at. I mean, you get tired enough, and those mental barriers that keep you sane start to fall down.
Of course, my first Lieutenant knew this, and as I stumbled out the door with my laptop she had joined me on the open hallway, whispering a soft 'Be careful Jess.' Complete with the worried eyes and half panicked face. I had known it was coming, she was going to send one of us to find out about him, I had just hoped I'd get to sleep before she inevitably picked me.
Not that there will be much sleeping now, especially after I tell her what I dug up on Intelligence's recent events.
Walking stealthily over to the small desk she sits by, I crouch, handing her my phone. She plays the video that appears there. After the full twenty two minute episode plays, her face has gone through so many emotions, ones that she'll never show to the rest of the team. Her jaw clenched in fear at the first attack before her lips made a smile in pride. The pride faded to passiveness, then fear flashed underneath a protective rage that made me scared to be near her.
She hands the phone back to me, standing and grabbing her jacket, the black lit veins instantly lighting to a dim glow as she dawns it on her shoulders.
"Greg still clean?"
"Yeah. He's working for them now. Halstead got him a job as their tech guy."
"Good." She laces up her combat boots.
"What are you doing?"
"Send the video to Mouse, along with any information on that operation that you found. Don't dig, just give him what you got and go to bed."
"Wha-are you serious?"
"Extremely." I watch as she grabs her phone and keys to our rental car.
"Rachel!" The word is at normal speaking level, but after the soft tone of our whispers it sounds as if I'm yelling. We both freeze as Adams stirs slightly before resuming his soft snores that I always tease him about. (What? He does sound like a kitten.)
"Where are you going?"
"He's at Med, right?" The whisper returns mine, finally allowing me to understand. She needs to know, refusing to have one of us hearing it on the news or something. For a second her eyes flash, a deadly gleam in them as an unseen warning to the person who put him in the hospital.
I don't respond and she walks out, closing the door softly behind her with a barely audible stretch of words informing me she'll be back before dawn. I send the information to my old college roommate.
'She said you need this. Keep him safe Mouse. We're almost there.' He texts me back with a simple yet dangerous question. I feel the anger swirl in my stomach, centering around Rachel's decision to not tell the rest of the team about Jay. I set my jaw and reply.
'Show them. It's time Intelligence knows who Jay really is.'
Erin's P.O.V.
"How long did they say?"
"For the ninth time, they didn't say, April just told us to wait. So. We wait." I glance between an overly nervous Ruzek and Olinski. I glance at my phone again, willing the tears back again. I only let my guard slip once, a single tear tracing my cheek that I quickly whipped away. I had immediately willed myself to be stone cold. 'Push it down Erin. Push it down, lock it away, keep it in until you know.' This is what I had repeated to myself.
I understand the simple fact that there was still a murder to be solved, still a Russian to catch, still a case in need of closing. A blubbering mess of an Erin Lindsay would be no use in doing any of those tasks. A sobbing Erin Lindsay will only be allowed when I find out if I am sobbing in relief or devastation. I do not cry for nothing.
I glance at the text again. Standing I move to find a nurse, ignoring the worried and questioned looks I receive from my team. Instead of a nurse I find Sharon Goodwin, who gladly answers my request. Returning to the team I end up checking my phone again. Then again. Actually checking my phone has become the nervous pastime for me.
"Mouse is going to be here soon. Said he got something we need to see." No one moves for moment, to surprised I think, at my hard demeanor.
"Come on." Is all I say, turning on my heel and walking towards the small, private conference room the hospital director showed me too. They follow. I text Mouse, informing him of where we are, but before I can even hit send, the tech appears at the door, distraught and nervous as ever. I almost find the audacity to ask if he's ok. His best friend is most likely dying. I'm sure he's fine.
He barely gives a nod to Voight, heading straight for the table where he plops his laptop. He then slides a black backpack off his shoulders, from it producing a couple thick case folders and some cords, one of which he uses to connect his computer to the television. He glances around at us, meeting my eyes for the first time.
"You should sit down." His voice is a mere whisper, yet I find myself and everyone else complying. Maybe it's the tone of his voice, one we've never heard from the normally jittery man.
The tone that kinds screams 'do as I ask, and I may not kill someone.'
This coming from the guy who gets so nervous speaking to his superiors that he literally develops a slight stutter and figures out how to ramble faster than the speed of light. He's more comfortable around Voight now, but when it comes to direct kinda one on one confrontation, he tends to revert back to his old habit. I'm almost mildly intrigued, but then I remember Jay is probably going to be dead by the end of the hour, and any form of concern disappears.
So it was an interesting situation we all found ourselves in, all sitting obediently in chairs like scolded children, when he hit play and a slightly grainy, black and white video popped up on the television screen.
I'm sitting, half annoyed for some reason, carelessly slumped in a rolly chair, when he is tackled. Two seconds later however, I am leaning forward in attentiveness, arms placed on the table. Everyone else copies me in some way, wide eyes and raised brows, eyes darting across the screen in confusion.
This isn't him. This can't be him. I know, at least, I thought I knew, how Jay fought. He doesn't have this skill, no way. I've seen him fight. But as the video plays on, I realize that no, I haven't seen him fight. Not for real, not like he was really trying. Because despite my brains desperate belief that he wouldn't be able to hide that from us, I can recognize that it is him. I can see it in the smoothness of his movements, the ease of skill that makes fairly complicated moves look easy and simple.
"What the hell…" Ruzek's whisper echoes all of our thoughts. The last of the fight is captured as the assassin like figure that replaced my partner gets tackled into a stairs way. Mouse hits the spacebar to pause the video as we come into frame. Everyone slowly turns to him like he holds some sort of explanation as to how Jay Halstead-our strong, funny, smartass Jay Halstead-just did that.
No one speaks for a moment, all of us staring in shock at either each other or Mouse, whose face is rock hard. He swallows, gazing at his hands on the keys while Voight speaks.
"Wanna explain to me when exactly he learned how to do that?" My fists tighten at his tone. One glance at the agitated man to my left indicates he feels the same way, if the fire in his eyes is anything to go by. Mouse raises his head, staring levels at his boss.
"You really think you know everything about Halstead?" His voice is colder than ice, dripping with rhetorical sarcasm. However before any of us can respond, the door opens abruptly with a doctor in red scrubs. His eyes widen as he realizes he interrupted something.
"Sorry Detectives I-"
"It's fine." I cut off his apology before he can start rambling, really just wanting for him to get to the point. He must understand this, whether from experiences of intuition, because he answers my waiting question.
"He made it through surgery." A sigh of relief is heard throughout the room, but the tension remains.
"You operated on him then? Doctor….?"
"Rhodes. And yes. It went well, much better than I expected. It was touch and go for a long time, because of the bullet by his lung. It was the main concern after the blood loss, although it turned out to have done little damage to him internally. We removed that bullet as well as two others and did repairs to the multiple blood vessels hit."
"His legs." My voice seemed to have dropped an octave or two with the statement. Rhodes nods, responding with an optimistic voice.
"None of the bullets hit his spine, although with the swelling from the impact odds are if he wakes up, he won't be able to feel them until the fluid starts to drain from his back. Right now we have him on the ventilator and in a medically induced coma while we give him more blood. We will keep him under for at least twenty four hours to give his body a chance to rest."
"I-I'm sorry you said 'if'?" The doctor pauses, probably trying to gauge the room for a reaction or two before giving his answer with a nod.
"Yes, I did say 'if' because there definitely is a chance that he is not going to make it through the night. That said…" His tone changes, turning to warning that people use in their voice when they don't want you to jump to conclusions.
"...I don't think that will be the case with Jay. The mere fact that he survived the surgery makes me very optimistic. The next twenty four hours are going to be crucial in determining his future, but I believe he's gonna pull through. He's a fighter." I grimace at his last word, but Rhodes fails to notice, instead excusing himself from the room with a promise to let us know as soon as we can see him though warning that it may be a while.
'He's a fighter.' The words echo in my ears, bouncing around in my head. Suddenly Jay's voice pops into my head, as though he is sitting the room, nonchalantly spinning like a dork in one of the chairs.
'C'mon Erin. Do what you do best. Kick some ass. Preferably on my half.' I can picture the smirk, the sassy tone as he would say the last line. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I mentally give myself a swift kick in the butt. Turning around, I have officially decided with a considerable amount of anger that crying Erin is going to wait a long time before she can make a reappearance and it's going to be in the arms of one perfectly healthy Jay Halstead.
Until that time however…
"Ok. Ok so Jay has some great Hand to Hand combat skills. How does this help with the case."
"Erin…" Voight looks at me with sympathy.
"NO!" I say a little too loud.
"No, you listen to me okay?! We are Intelligence, some of the best cops in this city, and as I recall, we protect our own. We owe it to Jay to catch the bastard who did this to him, and find the people responsible for brutally murdering then dismembering at least seven people. It our job. And I don't know about the rest of you but I'm really looking forward to kicking some ass." I look at Mouse, who seems to have calmed at my words.
"Now, you didn't just show us that video to impress us did you?" He manages a small smile, then rewinds the tape slightly.
"Top left. You see it?" We all squint.
"Does that mean, what I think it means…?" Mouse's smile spreads to a full blown grin.
"Spent a whole five minutes cracking the firewall. And damn Ruzek let me tell ya...you need some kick boxing lessons or something because that was just plain embarrassing."
Jordan's P.O.V. (back at the hotel)
20:00 hours.
"No, you do know, you just aren't telling us."
"Jordan…" My sister sighs and I know I'm right.
"Where the hell is Rachel!?"
"Jesse, you aren't helping her, she could be hurt-"
"How could you even know? None of us have anyway of tracking her- I mean how could you let her walk out of here?!" Our voices overlap in that way that we do when we are really scared and nervous. None of us are really used to it, being back in the states, being so close to where our other lieutenant has lived for almost two years. And now we all wake up, exhausted to find Rachel gone and Jess sitting almost catatonic against the wall staring at her dead phone.
Actually I take that back. That's what I woke up to when my bladder decided to make its small capacity known.
The guys woke up to me screaming at Jess to answer my question.
Doesn't help that she hasn't sleep in something like thirty six hours. That we are about the same save for the three hour catnap we just got.
"Jessica answer us god damn it what the hell happened to her!" She shrinks away from our voices before shaking her and bursting out an answer.
"JAY WAS SHOT ALRIGHT!? SHE WENT TO SEE HIM!"
We freeze.
I think everything freezes actually, my mind, maybe time, hell even the air in the room. Everything except my heart because while it has no problem thudding its way out of my chest, my lungs have an issue moving so clearly they must have been frozen along with the air.
My brain must have an issue thawing itself because next thing I'm aware of is being cradled in Greyson's arms as someone talks me through how to breath. I have no choice but to listen and slowly my exhaustion riddled thoughts come into order and my fogged mind realizes that I'm having a panic attack.
It's not my first though, and soon I'm able to breath normally again, but I opt to stay in Dick's lap. I push my head against his chest, taking comfort in his heart beat. No one says anything. Even though it's obvious to Jess and Adams that we are a couple, there's this unspoken rule that no signs of affection will get back to the Lieutenants. Then again, those two are kinda a couple on their own, just that neither of them have any idea. (Yet.)
"What hospital." I croak out. Jess stares at me blankly, nothing in her eyes, not a care nor a worry. I know it's not on purpose and I know she's close to falling asleep in the chair.
"Med." She whispers back. My throat closes slightly. I force myself to concentrate on breathing.
"He's still alive." Adams points out, looking up from my sisters charging phone.
"Was that from her?" Grayson asks, nodding to the device in his hand to indicate the text that just buzzed it.
"Yeah. Said she's gonna stay till they let her see them, then get back and see what we wanna do."
"Make her promise." I say in a low voice. All eyes flit to me for a moment. I don't care. I can't lose them both. I can't lose either of them.
"Make her promise she'll stay for him." I murmur again. Doing my best to let sleep pull me under. Tired. I am too tired. Maybe if I sleep, I won't have to deal with the sheer panic that is sitting in my stomach right now.
'He was shot. He was shot. He was shot.'
Please sleep. Come on body. You wanted this three hours ago, you can manage to want it now.
'Too much blood. Might never walk again. Could never wake up.'
Come on you fucking hormones. Preserve my sanity.
'I might lose my best friend.' The thought bounces through my head right as my eyes close and I suddenly realize that this sleep is going to contain the worst nightmares of my life and I really, really wish I had decided to stay awake.
Kinda short but really, this is a bit of a filler to get you introduced to a couple character and to let you know that unlike the fall I am not going to kill Jay. Again. :D
Also chpt 6 is already in the works, so hopefully not a two month break before this updates again.
REVIEW...pwease.