This needed to happen before fluff could. Technically I could have done them out of order, but no. This happens after 'Darker Days' which happens after last chapter. Enjoy!
Just the other day Steve said he hated himself. Eli wished he knew why, but he could never ask something like that. It is such a heavy question and he isn't sure he is prepared for just how deep the answer could run. Still, he can't stop thinking about it. It is especially impossible since watching Steve today it is clear he is not himself again. He just wants everything to be like before.
He goes the whole day thinking this and it is only at the very last minute that he is given any sort of relief from it. As he mills about the crowd, trying his hardest to get through to the exit without being knocked down, he feels an elbow jab his ribcage. At first he ignores it, thinking it an accident or perhaps intentional bullying and something better to give no attention to, but then he feels it again. He perks and his eyes lock with Steve's.
Steve mouths, "Meet me at my Vespa."
When Eli blinks, Steve has vanished. It will never cease to amaze him how such a big guy can slip in and out so quickly. He shakes his head. Right. Vespa. He makes a face. Wait…really? This will be two days in a row that Steve gave the okay to ride home with him. That is living dangerously on the edge as far as their cover is concerned. And if there is any correlation to this and Steve's emotional state Eli thinks he would rather Steve pretend he didn't exist. Seeing his friend down and out is not something he likes.
He sighs. Oh well. He can't just ignore Steve now. So he continues to push his way through the crowd until he is out in the open space of the parking lot. There. Steve is already at his Vespa and waiting. A bit nervously too if the fidgeting is anything to go by. It makes him a bit anxious as well, but he keeps a smile on his face as he approaches. "What's up?"
"I'm coming over, okay?" He gets on the vehicle. "Hop on."
Eli puzzles over the fact that Steve phrased it like a question, usually he simply says he is doing something and that is that, especially when it comes to visiting. It is just another thing to add to the list of oddities about Steve these last few days. "Alright." Going along with it is the best way to finally figure this out though, so he gets on.
They ride to Eli's house and go straight to his room. Eli holds his breath as he watches Steve and waits for the vital decision to be made. Floor or bed, floor or bed. It could mean all the difference in Steve's mental state.
Steve hesitates, his gaze trailing over the spot at the foot of the bed, before he decides to sit on the bed. But it still isn't like usual.
Eli frowns. Normally Steve kicks back and takes up nearly the whole expanse of the bed, like the king of the castle. This time, however, the spaces he fills up is miniscule by comparison as he balances just on the edge. There is plenty of room for Eli to sit next to him and so he does. Now all that is left is to find a way to break the silence. He twiddles his fingers and bites his lip.
"I'm sorry, Eli," Steve says softly.
Eli blinks. "Sorry?" He peers up at Steve. "For what?"
Steve scoffs. "How can you say that?" As if there aren't a million reasons in the world. "For everything. Every time I made fun of you, called you names, shoved you in a locker, hurt you at all…" His expression darkens and his hands clench tighter with every word that passes his lips. "Just…everything."
Eli's brow furrows as he truly takes Steve in. There is pain etched in every crease of his face, his brown eyes are sullied by a deep self-hatred, and his clenched fists are a testament to just how on edge he is. "Is this what has been bothering you?" Is this why he said he hated himself? "You know I forgive you, right?" Forgave him almost immediately, without even thinking about it.
Steve sighs. "Yeah, I know." How could he not? That's just the kind of person Eli is. "I just had to say it. If I didn't," he shrugs, "I don't know, it's like I was pretending it never happened. Like those bad things I did were suddenly okay. And they're not. The things I did to you, they were horrible."
Eli lays a hand on Steve's arm. "Thanks." He smiles. "Even though I didn't need it, it's nice to hear you say you're sorry anyway."
Steve nods, managing a small smile in return.
"But…" Eli frowns. "No matter what kind of person you were, you shouldn't ever hate yourself today." He looks hard at Steve.
Steve averts his eyes. That's right. He did say that the other day. He had been feeling particularly low, due in no small part to thinking about all the things he had done to Eli in the past.
"I know it probably doesn't have everything to do with me, but still, just know I'd never want you to tear yourself up over the past."
"I know." He doesn't know what else to say.
"So if you ever start to think about bad things you've done, just try and think about how things are with us now instead." Eli offers an encouraging smile.
Steve puffs out a laugh. That's Eli, as blindly optimistic as ever. If it was that simple he would have it all under control by now. Still, when Eli says it he somehow makes it sound so much more possible. "I'll try."
A thought dawns on Eli and a mischievous glint lights in his eye. "But hey, if you really want to make it up to me, I've got an idea."
Steve narrows his eyes. "No. No way. I am not playing that." He leaps to his feet.
"You have to." Eli grins from ear to ear. "It's the best way to say sorry. Betrayal at House on the Hill!"
"Because forgiveness always starts with betrayal." Steve makes a face.
Eli snickers. "Oh, come on. You'll love it. It's just like creepslaying, just, minus the real life danger."
"Nope. I'm leaving. Goodbye." He makes a break for the door.
"Steve," Eli whines as he trails after him.
Angie appears at the bottom of the steps. "Oh, hello. Would you like something to drink?" She tilts her head.
Steve screeches to a halt just before he runs into her. "Oh, uh, no thanks. I was just…" he points toward the door.
Eli draws in the air, trying to spell out a hint to the game.
Angie smirks as her face lights with realization. "Eli and I have been wanting to play a board game recently, but it's hard to get his mom to play, would you like to try with us?" she uses her sweetest tone.
Steve stares dumbfounded. She did not just- he snaps his gaze back to Eli and glares. That rat must have signaled her somehow.
Eli smiles and shrugs.
Steve grumbles beneath his breath. "Yeah, alright." He can't believe he let himself fall into their trap.
Angie grins. "Wonderful!" She claps a single time before pivoting and heading toward the kitchen. "You'll love it, dear, I promise."
Steve crosses his arms. "I hate you so much," he directs at Eli.
Eli laughs. "I love you too!" He pats him on the back as he skips by.
Steve sighs, smiling despite himself. Then again, there are worse things.
Real talk, Steve better acknowledge and apologize for all the stuff he did to Eli before they became friends. This needs to be a thing that happens in the show or I am going to be quite the unhappy camper. Like I'm sure Eli is happy enough accepting Steve being nice to him now, but Steve owes Eli an apology. That's all there is to it. I don't expect it to happen in Trollhunters, but 3 Below where they get major roles is the perfect chance. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please review!