Damiwon
Life within the palace had fallen back into its regular routine for some over the last couple of months since So's coronation, however life for Soo had dramatically changed. Although she enjoyed their daily strolls around Lake Donji, it wasn't enough for her. How did he expect her to go from being a Head Court Lady overseeing an entire staff of ladies within the Damiwon, to simply being useless? Her days were starting to converge into the same dull pattern until she wanted to scream.
She loved him, but something had to give, she thought as she watched Woo Hee with her daughter. Bok Soon sat quietly drawing in a book her father had given to her. Soo enjoyed Woo Hee's contentment, wishing she could feel the same way. "How has Baek Ah's grandmother taken to the marriage?" She asked as Woo Hee placed a kiss on the child's temple when the girl looked up at her mother.
"At first, she was against the marriage, but I believe that Bok Soon has won her over." Woo Hee smiled as she sipped her tea. Bok Soon smiled, handing her art to her mother. "Eomma, I drew Lady Hae."
"It is very like her." Woo Hee praised Bok Soon, giving the book to Soo who admired the girl's skill. "She has her father's talent."
Bok Soon bowed to her mother and Soo, thanking them for their praise. "I can pay you for such lovely work with a story, Bok Soon." Soo said to the girl. "Would you like that?" Both women laughed as Soo told the wide-eyed, overly curious child a story about a girl who got lost in the woods and was tricked into falling in love with a wolf prince.
"Omo, was she able to save her prince?" Bok Soon implored.
"What do you think, little princess?" Soo laughed.
"I think they married and ruled justly forever." Bok Soon hugged her book to her small chest. "Will you marry Pyeha, Lady Hae?"
Soo coughed, casting a quick glance at Woo Hee's hidden grin. Like mother, like daughter, she sighed.
"It is time for your nap, Bok Soon." Woo Hee gestured for the nursemaid, Lady Kim to take the young princess home. Soo politely smiled at the woman as she slipped out of the room with the tired child.
Soo sighed as her attention returned to Woo Hee. "It was easier being a court lady." She lamented as she toyed with her tea cup. "I can't even lift a finger. I'm restless."
"You should not say such things so carelessly." Woo Hee frowned, her expression serious. "The king is married to Princess Kyung Hwa but she is planning on taking vows to become a nun. The position of queen is empty. This means the ministers will be keeping a close eye on you, so you have to be careful."
"But it's hard with nothing to do but to wait for him. I need something to do." Soo frowned in frustration as she contemplated her situation. "I thought that it would be easier for us once he became king. However, I think I could end up waiting even longer."
"Once you become pregnant, the ministers will look more favorably upon a marriage." Woo Hee nodded pragmatically, then she smiled and placed her hand over Soo's.
Soo blushed, "That doesn't solve my problem. And, although I love him, I don't like feeling as though my worth as a woman is tied only to my ability to have children. I cannot go from being the head of the Damiwon to simply waiting in his quarters every night."
"Do you want to be his queen?" Woo Hee asked gently. Lady Han acknowledged the princess's gesture to make sure the conversation between the noble women remained within the room and did not reach the wrong ears.
"I want to be his wife." Soo said wistfully as she felt the heat of tears. "I never thought about being a queen. If Hyejong had lived, he would have been able to propose to me and we would not have lost all that time." She glanced away, then shook her head, her sad eyes returning to Woo Hee. "I shouldn't think of that. I apologize, Woo Hee.
"Do you remember the advise Taejo gave you before he died?" Woo Hee coaxed, squeezing her hand then releasing it.
"Yes." Soo gave her a shaky smile as she wiped her cheeks. "He told me to not get so caught up in what will happen in the future that I lose what I have now."
"Very wise advise." Woo Hee grinned at her friend as Soo chuckled.
"Yes. Very wise." Soo agreed.
Cheondeokjeon
Lost in her thoughts, Soo carefully climbed the steps up to the palace, her attendants slowly following behind. A familiar figure stepped out of the doors. Trepidation filled her as she recognized the eighth prince in front of her. She steeled her nerves, nodding gracefully to Wang Wook.
''Can you go and put this in my room?" Soo instructed, glancing over at Lady Han.
"Yes, Lady Hae." Lady Han bowed to the prince and led the attendants into the palace.
Wook cold gaze settled on Soo, chilling her. "You ended up going to him." He spat out, the thought of her in So's bed tormenting him. Bitter jealousy welled up inside him. It was her fault that he was not king. Why could she not have listened to him? Stand by his side the day Taejo died, instead of betraying him? He could have made her his queen. "You said I was being greedy for wanting both the throne and love. Now you are the king's woman. How am I to accept that?"
"He has always been honest with me." She answered carefully, keeping her composure. "He told me he did not want to lose me and had no choice. He shared his thoughts with me."
"I have always been curious, why is it that you insisted I could not become king." Wook pleaded, hurt and confused by her reasoning. He needed to understand. "In your eyes...was I not enough to become king?"
"It was not like that." Soo frowned, stepping forward, then halted. Her hand lowered, she didn't like being the cause of his pain. There seemed to be a spark of the old Wook she knew as a girl, but this façade could be a trap.
"Then what?" He demanded.
"He was born under the star of a king." She tried to explain, knowing it would not be enough. "Your father knew as well that the fourth prince would be king. It was fate."
"All because of a measly star I could not be king." Wook sneered at her. "All because of fate, you gave yourself to him."
"No, I did not give myself to him because he would be king." Soo defiantly returned his gaze. "I went to him because he stood by me when it could have cost him his life. I went to him because he became more than just a friend to me over the years. I went to him because I love him and would follow him even here."
Rage reflected in Wook's face for a second before he quickly masked it. "Do not think to become his queen." Wook warned with mocking disdain as he passed Soo. Taking a deep breath, she glanced at his retreating form, then entered the palace. An attendant appeared from the shadows following Soo to her quarters.
Upon entering her chambers, Soo sent Lady Han and her attendants away. Sitting down on her bed, Hae Soo rubbed her chest as her heart seemed to skip beats. Her stomach in knots as she tried to shake off her misgivings that rose from Wook's warning.
"Hae Soo?" So stood outside her door, worried for her as he waited for her to allow him entry. "Please let me in. I need to know how you are, I won't enter without your permission."
Soo took a deep breath, stood up and walked quietly to the door. "Pyeha." She bowed her head as she opened the door. His frown deepened as he took in her pale complexion. "I will call for the court physician."
"No." She said, "I'll be fine. I merely have a headache." Smiling, she touched his face. "I just need some sleep." So caught her hand in his, tenderly embracing her. "You are not fine. Share this burden with me."
Soo pulled out of his arms, her doubts and frustrations building up inside. "Can I truly share my burdens with you now?" She shook her head. "Why does it have to be so hard?"
"No matter what the Hwangbo clan nor the ministers want, I won't lose you, Soo." He said fiercely, turning her to face him. "There is nothing they can do or say that will make me let you go."
"I don't know if I want to be queen." Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him. "I have only wanted to be your wife."
So caressed the tears from her cheeks, "I'll have no other queen than you."
"And what am I to do as I am now or as a queen, Pyeha?" The sadness not leaving her as an uncertain future lay ahead. "Am I just a doll to you? Am I here to do nothing but to wait for you? Bear your children?" Hae Soo frowned at him in frustration. "I love you, but I cannot do that."
"Then what do you want, Soo?" So asked as softly, hating to see Soo hurting so much.
Fearing the distance between, she reached for him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she laid her head on his chest. "I want to be with you, but I don't want to be useless." Smiling up at him wanly, "Maybe I could teach Chae Ryung how to read and write."
"I don't think you should work in the Damiwon now that you are no longer a court lady." So stated, then caveated, resting his forehead against her own. "You have always thought more like a minister. Why do you not write what you have learned over the years in the Damiwon? You may have access to the court library. It would be nice to be able to have you with me while I read."
She gazed up at him with a wry smile, "Really?" And So nodded, tenderly holding her tight against him. "I would like that very much." She kissed his jawline, loving him and how he understood her so well.
Hae Soo refused to let the nausea get to her as she prayed for the spirits of her dear friend and his wife. The sun high over head as banners waved in the gentle breeze among the autumn leaves. Incense floated in the air as the offering table was filled with food. Before the table stood the spirit tablets for the tenth Prince, Wang Eun, and his wife, Park Soon Deok, daughter to Grand General Park and Lady Mong. The beat of a drum sounded a soothing rhythm as the monks chanted.
So solemnly lit the funeral pyre, watching the flames engulf a box shrouded in red. Eun's words came back to him. Desolate, Eun reminded him of Soo's promise. That So would be able to give him a gift only he could give: a quick death and to bring peace to his soul. I hope you are at peace, Eunnie. He prayed as he handed the torch to a waiting guard. His eyes met General Park's tear filled gaze. Lady Mong laid her head against her husband's shoulder and openly wept for her daughter.
Woo Hee stood next to Baek Ah, clutching his hand as the thirteenth prince wiped a hand over his face. Hae Soo sobbed softly for her friend as So took her hand in his. He observed Queen Hwangbo standing with her children, Wang Wook and Princess Yeon Hwa. The ninth prince, Wang Won, positioned not too far behind Wook.
His ministers were arguing for an alliance with the Hwangbo clan through marriage with his half-sister. The powerful families wanted to control the throne through a political marriage by threatening to revolt, he mused. The visit he had that morning with the ministers had stalled their decisions to push against him. He noticed how weak Soo appeared to be as she placed her head against his shoulder.
When the service completed, So turned to Lady Han, "Please see that the court physician visits Lady Hae when she returns to her quarters."
"Yea, Pyeha." Lady Han bowed to him as Soo opened her mouth to argue, then thought better of it.
After the fire died down, So led the procession away from the funerary, his attendants and ministers trailing closely behind. Soo moved to follow along with Baek Ah and Woo Hee but the procession was halted by Queen Hwangbo as she acknowledge So then took up position to his right.
"I would like an audience with you today, Pyeha." Taejo's second queen requested. "it is a matter of urgent importance."
So gave her a considerable look, then answered, "I will grant you an audience tomorrow." He stared straight ahead. "Do you not feel it is more appropriate to use this time to mourn my brother?"
Queen Hwangbo nodded her head in obeisance. "Yes, Pyeha."
Soo felt the queen's heavy gaze upon her as their eyes met. She bowed her head before her, then walked past Wang Wook and Princess Yeonhwa, and into the palace. Her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest, the nausea from that morning had not abated, she reached out her hand to Lady Han as her body became clammy and her ears started ringing. The edges of her world began to retreat as she began to collapse.
"Hae Soo!" A deep voice seemed to drift into her consciousness from far away. Soo frowned in confusion as she opened her eyes. So sat by her side as the king's physician, Court Physician Hong, checked her pulse, then he turned to Lady Han. "How many days has Lady Hae not been able to hold down a morning meal?"
"I'm fine." Soo said as she attempted to sit up, only to hear So growl out, "Soo-ya."
"Three days." Lady Han offered calmly, trying to keep a smile from showing.
Physician Hong checked her pulse once more, then released her hand with a pat. "There is a slight flutter, Pyeha." He lowered his head, then informed So. "It is not certain yet, but with Lady Hae's morning nausea, I would say she has conceived. However, it is best that she gets some rest for now." He turned to Lady Han. "Ginger tea and a bland meal will help her morning sickness."
Lady Han nodded to the physician, then she turned to give quiet instructions to Soo's ladies in waiting. Then she stepped to the side with her hands folded as the younger ladies gracefully filed out of the room.
Soo blushed as her hand slid down to cover her stomach in awe. A baby. So smiled happily down at her as his hand covered hers. Remembering Physician Hong, So got to his feet, walking with him to the door, "You said you had other matters to speak to me about before you go."
"Yes, Pyeha." The king's physician nodded confidentially, bowing his head. "It concerns one of the clans."
So contemplated the seriousness of the request. "I understand." He quietly informed him, then commanded the guards, "Please take Physician Hong to Wang Baek Ah." He turned to Physician Hong. "Give this information to the thirteenth prince. I will address this matter with you later."
"Very good, Pyeha." He said as he bowed, quickly making his way down the hall with the guards.
He glanced at Lady Han. "You may leave. I wish to be alone with Lady Hae for a bit." She bowed and quietly left, shutting the door behind her.
"A baby." Soo blinked at So when he returned. She had turned on her side to watch him. So sat back down by her and brushed her hair behind her ear. "How do you feel?"
She rolled over onto her back to look up at him. "Both scared and excited."
"I love you." So bent down, gently kissing her lips. Soo closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck, his body stretched out next to her, holding her in a tight embrace. He tasted her lips again, then pulled back to gaze her eyes. "Now the ministers will have no argument against our marriage once the baby is born."
A tear slid from the corner of her eye into her hairline. "Yes." She answered as she caressed his cheek. He laughed as he kissed her again, then sat up. "Rest, Soo." So stood up, grinning down at her. "Lady Han and your ladies-in-waiting will return soon."
"I will rest but I'm not very hungry. I promised Woo Hee I would have tea with her tomorrow." Soo told him. So stilled, his hand gripped hers as he stood above her. "I'll have them serve the tea and porridge in the Damiwon tomorrow." She quickly explained when it appeared he was about to argue with her.
So pinned her with a stubborn glint in his eyes. He released her hand and leaned over her. "Lady Han will be here with your porridge and I expect you to finish it."
"Fine." Soo grumbled as a knock sounded on the door.
"May we enter, Pyeha?" Lady Han called from the other side of the door. "I have Lady Hae's porridge and tea ready to be served."
Soo sat up in bed with help as So arranged the pillow behind her back. "Now who's lecturing who, Pyeha." She groused, pouting up at him. So gave her a quick hard kiss. "You may enter, Lady Han." He answered Soo's lady in waiting. Lady Han opened the door with attendants in tow. Everyone gave So courtly bow as he left the room.