Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know

- Be Still by The Fray

"Will." Voight's voice stopped Will dead in his tracks. The icy fingers of fear curled around his heart, and he resisted the childish urge to hang up the phone. Because he knew what this call was about.

Jay was hurt. Why else would Hank Voight be calling Will himself?

"Will? You there?"

"Tell me he's not dead," he pleaded with him, trying, and failing, to keep his voice from breaking.

"He's alive, kid. It's nothing bad, just a few bruises, maybe some sore ribs, and probably a concussion. He wouldn't let me take him to the hospital, but the EMTs patched him up. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Oh, thank god." He leaned against a wall, closing his eyes as a wave of staggering relief hit him like a truck. "And he's alright?"

"Yeah." It sounded like Voight wanted to say something else, so Will waited. There was a sound on the on the other end, like Voight had opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated, which was so unlike him, it was laughable.

"Voight? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, Kid, just... take care of your brother, will you?"

Will was stunned into silence, because something in the Sargent's voice told him he was talking about more than Jay's injuries today. "I will," he promised.

"Alright." And with that, Voight hung up.

Will was going out of his mind. He'd tried calling his brother more than twenty times after Voight called him, and they all went to voicemail. And the minute his shift had ended, he'd left the hospital at break neck speed to look for his younger brother. That was an hour ago. Jay was nowhere to be found. Will had looked everywhere. Jay's apartment, Molly's, a couple of other bars in the area, even the district.

It tore him up inside, not knowing where Jay was. The scenarios playing out in his mind were all terrifying, and he tried to block those thoughts out, tried to focus on the here and now.

His brother needed him, Will knew that much. He'd noticed a change in Jay, ever since he'd shot the nine year old girl a couple weeks ago. Will knew that a part of Jay died when that little girl did, and it would've been enough to drag up some bad memories, but add that to Erin leaving and what happened to Louise? It was a recipe for disaster and Will should've been there for him, should have noticed more.

He'd done what he had promised himself not to do, years ago. He'd let Jay deal with his Issues on his own, hadn't been there for him.

Will slammed his hand on the steering wheel, the pain grounding him. "Damn it, Jay, where are you?"

Will took a deep breath and grabbed his phone, dialing Voight's number. It went to voicemail.

"Voight, I need your help. I can't find Jay and he won't answer his phone, so please, please just pick up. I'm going to keep driving around, and I'll check the hospitals and the clinics again. Call me as soon as you can."

He called the hospitals and clinics, and there was still no sign of Jay. He took a deep breath, started the car, and, true to his word, kept driving. He stopped at every alley, probably looking suspicious, and checked for his brother. Fifteen minutes later, his phone chimed and he lunged for it. The car swerved a bit, and Will cursed. He wasted no time in parking his car. He unlocked his phone and blew out a breath of relief.

He's at your apartment, the text from Voight said.

Thank you.

He started the car and headed for his apartment, the relief that hit him so staggering that Will actually felt a bit lightheaded.

...

When he got to his apartment building, Will took the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.

The first thing he saw when he got to his floor was Jay, sitting with his back to the door, his head leaning against it. His eyes were closed, and his chest was moving. Will took him in, and tried to even out his breathing.

"Jay," he called out softly, walking towards him. He made sure to make as much noise as he could, not wanting to startle his brother.

Jay opened his eyes, and Will, selfishly, wanted to run away. Because he didn't know what he was supposed to do when he was met with eyes that were filled with so much pain. Jay had always been steady, a rock, and when he wasn't, he'd always made sure to hide it from everyone around him. To see him like this, bruised, broken and so unbelievably desperate was unnatural. And it scared Will to the bones.

Will smiled at his little brother and crouched in front of him. "Hey, pal, let's get you inside, huh? Come on," Will said as he reached out a hand for Jay to take.

Jay took a tight hold of his hand, and Will managed to pull them both up. Once he was upright, Jay swayed dangerously and Will barely caught him in time before he face planted. "I've got you, Jay. I've got you."

He got the door unlocked with some difficulty, and managed to more or less drag Jay inside. He briefly contemplated putting Jay on the couch, but quickly dismissed that idea. Jay needed rest, somewhere comfortable, so Will took him to the bedroom and deposited him gently on the bed. He quickly ran out of the room to lock the front door, then went back to his room. His heart broke at the sight of Jay, curled up on his bed, shaking. Will climbed into the bed with his brother, and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Talk to me, Jay," he urged softly, his hand moving from Jay's shoulder to his hair.

His brother seemed to curl up tighter around himself, his whole body shuddering. "I can't."

His breathing was too fast, and Will really needed to do something about it before Jay passed out. "Hey, Jay... Jay, I need you to take a deep breath, pal. Do it with me." He demonstrated by taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. It didn't work the first few times, so he took Jay's hand and placed it on his chest. "Come on, brother, breathe with me."

They stayed like that for a good five minutes, just breathing, before Jay broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, his eyes, red and watery and miserable locked onto Will's. It brought back memories of a six year old Jay, climbing into his bed after a nightmare.

Will shook his head, smiling sadly. "Why are you sorry?"

Jay squeezed his eyes shut and stayed silent. Will was at a loss. He didn't know how to deal with this version of Jay. He didn't know how to make it better. "Please talk to me, Jay. Please. It's eating you up inside, and I can't watch it happen anymore, buddy." By that point, Jay's shoulders were shaking, but his lips were still stubbornly pressed together. "You came here for a reason. What is it?"

"Where else would I go? I've got nobody left."

The defeat, the resignation in Jay's voice, was like a stab to the heart. Will wished he could take it away, wished he could shield Jay from all the hurts life was throwing at him left and right. "Talk to me."

Jay turned his head and stared at the ceiling. "Do you ever wish it would all stop?" He asked softly. Will's heart skipped several beats.

"What are you talking about?"

"The deaths and the pain and the constant need to fight for every fucking breath."

Will couldn't get a word out. He felt so overwhelmed, so out of his depth, that he had to force himself not to run away. He scrambled for an answer, but apparently, he wasn't fast enough.

"I'm so tired, Will. I feel like I'm drowning, and even though I'm fighting it, I just want to let the water in," Jay's voice broke at that last word, and with it, so did the dam that had trapped the tears that should've been shed days, weeks, ago.

Will sat up, and dragged Jay with him. He tucked his brother's head under his chin, and locked his arms around him, holding him a bit too tightly. At first, there were only silent tears that Will felt rather than saw, but a second or two later, Jay let out a sob, the sound raw and ragged and so, so pained. Will, if possible, tightened his hold even more, one hand going to Jay's neck and the other rubbing his back.

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay, I promise you. I'm gonna help you through this, this time. It's you and me, little brother, always. I'm here, I'll always be here," he kept repeating this, over and over, until Jay's tears stopped, until he pushed away from Will and looked him in the eye.

"Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for, huh? I'm your big brother, it's my job to be here for you."

Jay shrugged. "Still."

Will shook his head. "I know I wasn't there for you when you needed me, more than once, but I promise you, this time will be different. This time, I'll be with you every step of the way, you hear me?"

"Will-"

"I mean it, Jay."

Jay nodded, a half smile playing at his lips. "Alright."

"Come here," Will said as he dragged his brother into another hug. Jay's arms wrapped around his back tightly and Will smiled. "I love you," Will said, smacking a kiss on Jay's cheek, hoping to coax a laugh out of him. He was rewarded with a chuckle and a hand to the face, and he couldn't have been more happy.

"Get some rest, buddy."

Jay nodded and pushed himself off the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"The couch?" He asked with confused frown.

Will rolled his eyes and sat up, too. "You're gonna sleep on the bed, idiot. I'm gonna get you a change of clothes. Stay here."

"Aren't we a little too old for a sleepover, Will?" His brother said, a hint of teasing seeping into his tone.

"Never."

Will turned around, intended on going to the kitchen for a glass of water, but Jay's soft "Will" stopped him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, man. I mean it."

"Shut up. And I'm gonna check out those injuries of yours after you change." He held up a hand when Jay opened his mouth, more than likely to form a protest. "Non negotiable."

"Fine."

"Great! Now go change, maybe take a shower, too, cause you stink." He ran out of the room just a pillow came flying at his head.

Will chuckled, pleased that he had managed to help his brother, even if it was temporary. He knew that nothing was fixed, knew that things were probably going to get a lot worse before they got better, but he also knew that his brother was strong enough to handle anything thrown at him.

His doorbell rang, and he frowned, not expecting any visitors at this late hour.

He opened the door, and almost instantly tried to shut it again. Her foot stopped it from shutting all the way, though, and so he opened it reluctantly.

"Hi, Will," she sounded weary and hopeful at the same time, and he hated her just a little bit.

"Erin."

Big Thank you to Bluejay141519, NewYorkChicago22061940,Mariedonovan,Brenda Burn, SoFeelingTheLove, Sara2210, and the four guests for taking the time to review! Your words mean the world to me!

The next, and most likely Final, chapter might take a little while, because I have finals, but I promise it'll be up in about a week or two!

I hope you guys are enjoying it! let me know what you think in a review!