The characters do not belong to us.

Chapter Seventeen

Jane was ready to give up when she could finally see what Kate was marching them toward over the endless snow. It was a ski lodge like the ones in the Rocky Mountains that she and Casey had visited before he shipped out on his latest deployment.

"That's it? What a beautiful place," Jane commented.

"Told you it was wonderful," Kate wanted to boast.

Jane noticed that her feet weren't as sore as they had been a moment before. Perhaps staring at the glistening building before them had distracted her. Either way, she was undeterred in her purpose here.

"Come on," Kate urged.

Jane ran after her, not as tired as earlier. They approached the castle and Jane's mouth fell open. She'd never seen anything so beautiful. "Wow. I feel like I'm in that show Maura likes so much."

Kate linked her arm through Jane's. "Amazing, isn't it? Come on!"

Jane didn't remember walking inside, stopped cold at the sight before her. She wasn't from a wealthy family and had only been to places like this a few times with Maura. But even Maura's mouth would drop at this.

"You can pick your jaw up off the floor now," Kate whispered in her ear. "We need to find Maura and Sasha!"

"Kate! Kate!" A little girl about five plowed right into Kate. "I knew you'd be back!"

Kate picked her up and hugged her. "And you were right, sweet one. Missy, this is Jane, a friend of mine."

"Hi, Ms. Jane," Missy said and when Kate put her down she yanked on her hand. "Come on! Come to the cloud room! There's new kids who don't know the song."

Kate bent down to her. "I'll come, but first I need your help."

Missy's eyes widened. "What?"

"Have you seen two grownups who look exactly like me around here anywhere?"

Missy nodded, her dark hair falling into her face. "Uh-huh. They're in the cloud room, too." Missy took off down the hall.

"What's the cloud room?" Jane whispered, still trying to take all this in.

"The children's room," Kate answered.

They proceeded down the hall with Missy in the lead. Finally they approached a big carved wooden door, stopping abruptly. Jane wondered for a moment if she truly wanted to go inside, if she knew what to do there. She looked to Kate for guidance. Smiling, Kate nodded for Jane to go in.

It was literally clouds - rainbows and puppies and green grass as far as the eye could see. Laughter of children rang though the air and if one paused, it was almost as if one could hear the flowers growing. The sun gleamed like liquid gold.

Everything was so beautiful there that it made Jane's eyes tear a little, not just because of the beauty but the realization that all the abused and mangled bodies of children she saw on her job were whole and full of life here. It had wound back the clock and started everything anew and right.

"Higher, Sasha, higher!"

Jane turned at the name and spotted Sasha, clad in a beautiful gown throwing a cloud into the air, a child atop it. The child's laughter rang through the air. Across the room Maura-clad in the same gown-sat with a baby in her arms. Jane's throat tightened. A baby! The world was so not fair.

She glanced at Kate. "What do I do?"

Kate put a reassuring arm around the detective. She could see that the other woman was scared, overwhelmed and uncertain.

"Follow my lead, Jane."

"Kate! Jane!" Sasha dropped the cloud she held and for a moment Jane wanted to shout at her not to.

"Sasha!" the child cried. "Why did you stop?"

"I'll be right back, sweetie," Sasha promised. "Maura!" she called.

Maura glanced up and her face lit up. She handed the baby to another adult and in an instant had Jane in a hug that would've crushed several bones.

"Don't cry. There's no sadness here," Maura whispered. "Sasha and I are fine. We're perfect. No one can hurt us now. And now you and Kate are here. Come, we'll talk someplace quieter."

Jane could not speak as Maura led her out of the cloud room and into the hall. "Maura-" she choked out.

"Shh. No more crying, okay?" She brushed away Jane's tears. "Kate!" She took Kate into her arms.

"I missed you both so much," Kate said. "You have no idea how much."

Sasha paused. "Are you -"

Jane shook her head. "Kate says were dreaming."

Maura nodded. "Probably a perk from being a long time resident. The ability to visit us in your dreams. I'm glad because it means you won't have to miss you."

"Miss you?" Jane was flabbergasted. "You sound like you're staying."

Sasha nodded. "We are. If they let us. We want to."

"But Maura-no-you-can't. What about Kaylee? She's your daughter. You have been feeling guilty about leaving her. Isn't this leaving her?"

"I know what I said. I know what I've been feeling. I'll miss her, yes, but I'm so happy here. Sasha finally isn't sick and I'm not in fear I'll lose her. I trust you to take care of Kaylee. Be the mom I couldn't be."

Jane shook her head and her vision clouded with tears. No, she could not lose her best friend this way. The doctors had said that there was no physical reason for either twin not to wake up and that it was solely their decision. Could Maura really want to leave her? Didn't she see there was hope for Sasha to become healthy?

"Maura, please don't do this. Please. I need you. Kaylee needs you. Anna needs you both."

Maura smiled gently as if Jane were one of the children. "It's all for good," she intoned.

Sasha nodded. "It's one place I'm not sick."

Jane cried more. "Kate refused to eat or drink because you two left."

Maura swung her head toward Kate. "What? You-"

Kate shot a glare at Jane. "I love Gibbs-more than anything and Abby-but they aren't blood related to me. Do you have any idea how amazing it was to finally feel like I had a real family? Two people who understood me for me and not Agent Todd, the profiler? Not terrorist gunshot victim? It meant more to me than I can ever express in words. Yes, getting married to Gibbs was reason to keep fighting, but it was you two-the image of being married together-of raising our kids together-that kept me going. And when that was taken away, I couldn't deal. I'd lost seven years of my life and now I was losing the two people who I wanted to fight for the most." Her voice was steady, but that did not mean the absence of tears. "So, if I have to stay here for eternity, I will."

Maura teared up. "You'd give up all that for us?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, I would."

Jane sighed. It appeared that she was the only one who did not wish to stay. "I guess I should go, then." She slowly turned her back on the others and began to walk away. Jane had no idea how to get home, but she had the desire to do so. It was the hardest thing she thought she may ever have to choose.

"Jane!" Maura's tearful cry of her name stopped her cold but she did not turn until she felt Maura's hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry. I've been selfish. Shut out the first person who ever gave me a chance-a family. Sasha's my sister, yes, but so are you."

"Come back, Maura. Both of you come back. I know you're scared. I get it. I'm terrified every time I walk outside. But running away isn't going to make this go away. You were so upset over leaving Kaylee. Stop letting fear get in the way and come home. I lost you for two years, Maura. I grieved for you. I can't do that again. it hurts too much. It's taken all my strength I have to not fall into the trap you and Sasha got into where I wanted to be with you every waking moment. Every time I leave your house, I think I'll never see you again."

Maura could do nothing except melt into Jane's embrace.

Kate spoke up. "I want to show you something. Sasha, you might remember it from when we first met."

Maura did not let go of Jane's hand as they followed Kate outside into the snow. She could feel Jane stiffen. "It's okay. Nothing is going to happen here." She'd never seen Jane so scared and unsure.

There in the clouds was the same place where Sasha had obliviously viewed Barry's agony and the footbridge in which she had taken solace. She looked at it quizzically, as if trying to recall something from a dream.

"Have I been here before?" She asked.

"This is where we met," Kate said. "It worries me that you don't remember."

Sasha shook her head. "It was like a dream. And there was a man. I loved him."

"Barry," Jane added. "My partner. You're engaged to be married." It suddenly hit her mind that perhaps Sasha didn't remember because she was the closest of the three to staying there permanently. Before falling asleep, Jane recalled that Sasha was improving the least of any of them. She was being pulled into this world more and more by the very minute. Soon she'd sever all ties to the world of the living. But that was why Jane and Kate had travelled to the woods.

The image changed to Kaylee crawling and immediately a sob left Maura. It was not a happy crawl but a determined one, Kaylee whimpering the whole way. Maura clung to Jane as the image changed again, this time to a woman sitting at a grave sobbing. Jane. Though she was covered, Maura knew Jane's form anywhere.

Maura could not contain the sobs. "I'll come with you, Jane."

All eyes turned to Sasha, who was busy gazing at all the flowers coming up in the snow. She was eerily disconnected. Kate put a hand on her arm and turned her toward the cloud. "Watch." It was clearly a command.

The cloud first showed Barry outside in the sun, smiling and his tawny eyes dancing. Then the images shifted to the jazz club and the beach and Sasha's beloved cats and brownstone to a very lovely picture of three children, two girls and a boy, running along the beach. They had a lighter version of their father's dark skin and unmistakable hazel eyes of their mother's color. There were also images of Kate and Sasha as the inseparable best friends whom they were meant to become.

Sasha gasped and started to cry. "I don't want to miss any of that! It's so hard to remember. Why is it that way?"

Jane spoke gently. "You're not doing very well," she murmured. "But if you fight like we know you can, you will still have all that good stuff."

"I will. I promise. I will. I want to go back with you." Sasha clung to Kate's arm and reached out for Maura.

"We'll help each other," Maura said, her voice firm yet gentle. "No one is getting left behind."

The rest nodded in agreement. With their arms linked, they walked toward the footbridge toward home.