I'm shocked I managed to put this out somewhat on time with all the extra work I've been getting but enough about me!
Jazz: Yes, Mathias is basically Violet's dog, as awful as it is, and there will be more action to come! Just gotta get through the boring bits first . Also, there might be a little something to that last thing you wrote, maybe not to that extreme but something similar *wink* *wink*
Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this next chapter! And reviews are much appreciated!
Chapter 7: Tests and Tales
To say Eren was a bit worried about starting his experiments was a huge understatement. When the guards came down the next morning to retrieve their charges, Eren was already awake and sitting quietly in his room, pondering over all the horrific things that might be done to him as well as concocting his means of escape. He had taken Gwen and Riah's words into account, but they're negativity wasn't enough to convince him to stay in his cage.
When the door flew open, Eren was physically and mentally prepared for whatever they were going to throw at him. He was surprised, however, to see Joel's grinning face in the doorway.
"Up and at em', kid, you got a long day of poking and prodding ahead a' ya!" he bellowed, jovially. Despite the fact that Joel was a guard, Eren found himself warming up to his boisterous personality.
Eren stood and followed behind the man, muttering a morning greeting as he left his room. Outside in the common room, several others were being sleepily dragged out of their rooms and instructed on the training they were going to be doing that day. From what Eren could tell from his eavesdropping, he was the only one going for tests and experiments, while the others were being focused on fighting and stamina building.
As the boy followed Joel up the stairs, he asked, "You know what I'm doing today?"
"Ah, guards don't ever know what goes on in those rooms. Our job is to just watch the door and help restrain the subject if needed," Joel replied calmly. "But from what I've heard, it's not gonna be an easy day, kid."
"When have I ever had an easy day?" Eren muttered, mostly to himself but earning a hearty chuckle from the guard.
"That's the spirit."
After the long trek from the living quarters to the experiment hallway, Eren was led to one of the side doors that opened to a simple white room with a cushioned table and metal tool stand. He was told to sit and wait for one of the doctors. The boy obliged and sat on the uncomfortable table. When the doctor finally came in, all he did was give Eren a few cursory exams, like checking his temperature, his heart rate, and blood pressure. The brunette tried to ask him questions, but the man remained silent during his examinations. When he was finished, the doctor instructed him to lay back on the table.
Once Eren was comfortably situated, the doctor leaned down under the table and brought out odd rusted metal and leather objects. Acting too fast for Eren to protest, the man quickly restrained the boy's wrists with the leather shackles and then moved to his legs.
"H-hey! What are you doing?!" Eren exclaimed struggling against the bonds. His kicking legs made the doctor's job more difficult but eventually he was completely strapped to the table, barely able to move. "Is this really necessary?"
"Oh, it's plenty necessary," came a sickly sweet. Turning his head, Eren was greeted by his warden in a silky purple dress and lethal looking high-heels. She smiled at him and approached the table. "We can't have you flailing around too much, now can we?"
"What are you going to do to me?" Eren snarled, eyes blazing.
"Experiments, of course," she replied, casually. "Normally, we wouldn't need to perform such experiments, since we gained plenty of knowledge on our formula's effect from Razor."
Eren shuddered, remembering Gwen's explanation for Mathias's erratic and violent behavior.
"But the serum running in your veins is completely different and new to us, so of course, we have to perform similar tests to gain a better understanding of this new strand of serum."
"So you're going to cut me open and see how I tick?" Eren said through clenched teeth. He was trying very hard to stay under control.
"Something like that, yes," Violet said, smiling widely. "For the first few tests, you'll be given anesthesia to help with the pain, but you'll still be somewhat conscious during it."
Eren snorted in contempt. Anesthesia? And here he thought Violet was a selfish, soulless woman, who liked hearing the sounds of screaming in agony.
"That's awfully nice of you," Eren remarked, in a snarky tone.
"Well, don't get too excited about it. Once these first few exams are over, we'll have to perform them again with the anesthesia to determine whether there's any differences," the devil woman said, saying such brutal words in a caring voice.
Ah, there it was. He knew there was no way she would be this nice.
Eren kept his retort to himself and opted instead to watch the doctor stick a thin needle into his arm. There was a small prick and then a cold feeling spread up his arm and through his body, pulling a shiver from the boy. Whatever they stuck in him must have been strong because after only a few minutes, Eren was slipping into a dazed state. His mind was slowed and his vision was blurred and hazy. If his limbs weren't strapped down, he probably would have a hard time lifting them.
He tried to follow what the doctor and Violet were saying but their words were slurred and didn't make sense in his mind, so he quickly gave up on that. He closed his eyes, thinking he could sleep through whatever horrific thing they were about to do to him, but the sudden and unpleasant pressure on his arm pulled forced his eyes open. If he wasn't so drugged up, he probably would have screamed at the sight of his left arm being sawed off. Though he couldn't feel the full pain, it was still terribly unnerving and he struggling against his binding.
His thrashing went unnoticed by the other two in the room, who continued to talk and slowly rip his body apart. Blood and flesh dripped onto the floor and stained the doctor's apron, while Violet stayed well out of the way and out of Eren's line of sight. He let out meek whimpers and tried to look away from the gore, but he couldn't focus on anything else. It wasn't until the doctor slid the needle into the stump where his arm used to be that Eren finally calmed. Green eyes dulled and the boy stared blankly at the ceiling, so far gone he no longer cared what they did to him. Hell, they could probably kill him and he wouldn't even notice.
Their voices were just muffled murmurs in his ears and they lulled him deeper into his dream-like state. The blood on the walls and his clothes went ignored, as did the off-putting burning sensation in the places where his arm and both legs should be. Were they going to cut them all off? How the hell was he supposed to function without them?
The questions came and went in his mind, coming and going before Eren had time to process them. One thing he did remember was how much he hated feeling like this.
Just when Eren was about to slip into unconsciousness, something touched the top of his head, slowly combing through his hair in a comforting manner.
Mom…? His drugged mind thought, relaxing into the touch. Through the rest of the experiment, those thin fingers raked through his hair and he heard soft whispers sounding like reassurance in his ear.
Eren knew his mother his dead, he could never be in denial of that horrible event, but in that vulnerable, dazed state it was easy for him to sink into his greatest hope that she was there with him. Those little acts of comfort were the only things keeping him from tumbling into darkness and he was strangely thankful for that. He simply closed his eyes and waited for it to end, while indulging in the impossible.
"Everything's going to be alright, Eren…you're doing great, it's almost over…"
A sweet, familiar voice drifted across his mind. It sounded just like her; it couldn't be anyone else surely…
It felt like minutes later the hand on his hair left and he whimpered, trying to find that comfort again, but then he felt himself being lifted up, and placed on a hard, uncomfortable surface. The shifter had no idea what was happening to him, even when he opened his dull eyes, everything was just a bunch of vague shapes. A second later, a soft breeze flitted over his numb skin as he was moved from the light and into dimness. As he was taken god knows where, sleep finally claimed him.
When Eren awoke that night, he discovered his body was perfectly fine. No missing limbs, no ripped off chunks of flesh, there weren't even any scars, and it completely baffled him. When he asked the others about it before dinner Riah rudely explained,
"Of course there's no damage. You're a titan now. Titans have regeneration abilities. Do the math, nimrod."
That earned her a glare from Eren and a reprimand from Gwen, both of which, she ignored and continued to wolf down her food. Later that night when many of the others had left for bed (for such an uptight place you'd think they'd have some kind of set curfew), Gwen asked about Eren's first experiment, while Andy sat in the farthest chair, reading.
"It was…horrible," Eren finally admitted to sympathetic Gwen. She nodded and patted his shoulder. "I was so drugged up I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I swear there was one point I thought my mom was there…"
"Your mom?" she asked gently. None of the other shifters knew much when it came to Eren, just where he used to live and his aspiration to join the Survey Corps. They tended not to talk about their pasts unless someone else was brave enough to speak first. It was less painful that way.
"Yeah. She died back when Shiganshina fell," he replied, quietly, wincing at the memory. "She was eaten by a titan right in front of me."
He had no idea why he was telling her this. He never wanted to remember that day, let alone tell someone else about it, but despite having only known her for a few days, Eren felt comfortable with Gwen. It was like she had some kind of soothing aura.
"Oh that's awful," she replied, looking just as saddened as Eren. "I'm so sorry Eren."
Eren only shrugged and sheepishly said, "Anyway, when I was going through that experiment, I could have sworn I heard her voice and felt her hand in my hair…I mean, it was probably just the medication, but it felt so real…"
"It most likely was the sedatives they gave you. I'm sure too much of that stuff, even for us, would have some strange consequences," Gwen agreed. "But, it could have also been your subconscious' way of adjusting to the situation. The tests are always traumatic from what I've heard and it could have triggered some kind of mental defense."
"Hm, maybe," he said. Gwen was more than likely right, and that got Eren wondering if it would happen again during his tests the next day.
"What was she like?" a timid voice suddenly asked, pulling Eren from his thoughts. He looked up and into soft blue eyes.
"Who? My mom?"
Andy nodded and moved to sit next to him on the couch, watching him with those wide, owlish eyes.
"Well, she was a really kind woman but she definitely wasn't afraid to dish out punishments," the brunette said, shuddering at the number of ear-pullings and scoldings he'd received when he was younger. His face pulled into a sad, but sweet smile. "She was a great mom, though. I just wish I'd appreciated her more when…when I was younger."
Eren swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. He had so many regrets when remembering his mother, especially on that final day.
"But you loved her yes? And she loved you?" Andy pressed, to which Eren nodded. "Then be grateful for the good times, instead of only regretting the bad. You're luckier than you realize, you know."
"What do you mean?" Eren said, frowning in confusion. Andy's eyes became sad and thoughtful.
"Many of us weren't old enough to remember our parents," she explained, absentmindedly playing with her long grimy hair. "I can't even remember my mother's name. Jimmy was only a baby when she died and I was too young to take care of us both by myself, so we eventually went to an orphanage in Karanese District."
Eren nodded, not wanting to pry and ask about their father. If he hadn't been mentioned, he probably hadn't been in the picture. Gwen kept quiet as well, listening to the story, though already having heard it before.
"There were so many children living there, it was hard to keep track of all of them, especially Jimmy," sighed Andy, rolling her eyes. "That boy just couldn't sit still to save his life. I was always chasing him around the town and keeping him in his chair at dinner. Poor Miss Merta couldn't keep up with him half the time and just made him my responsibility."
Eren chuckled at that. He had witness first-hand how over-active Jimmy was, even from having been there only a few days. Andy always seemed to be running around, forcing him to eat or put on proper clothes, mothering him to no end. It was no wonder she was more exhausted than the others by the end of the day. It reminded him of his own sister, and a pang went through him at the thought of Mikasa. He really missed her and Armin.
"Well, it really wasn't a huge surprise when he ran off into town one day. I searched everywhere for him, but I really wasn't worried. He always knew how to find his way back by the end of the day," And continued, her face falling. "But when he didn't come back by dinner I went looking for him and…"
She sighed again and hung her head, face void of emotion. "I ended up bound and gagged and thrown in the back of a wagon. Turns out Jimmy was there too, tied up just like me and just as terrified. They covered us with a tarp and took us out of town. Next thing we know, we ended up here. That was three years ago."
Andy finished her story and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head.
The silence dragged on, with Eren unsure how to break it. He pitied her, that was a given, but he doubted that was what she wanted to hear. From the way she was staring off in thought, Eren assumed she didn't want any response from him. She just wanted to get her story out and let him know he wasn't alone in his suffering.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question? It's pretty personal, so if you don't want to, just say so and I won't ask," said Eren quickly, letting his insatiable curiosity get the better of him. It was something that hadn't quite bugged him, but it did intrigue him enough to ask.
"Well, I did just spill my life story to you, so I suppose one question won't kill me," Andy replied, a small smile gracing her lips. Gwen giggled at that and Eren jumped, actually forgetting she was there for a moment, and making her laugh harder.
"So, um, why do like being a girl?" he asked, worried he might offend her.
Instead of getting offended, Andy simply shrugged. "I've just never felt like a boy to be honest. I always preferred playing with dolls instead of going outside and getting dirty, and I was usually helping with cooking and cleaning while Jimmy and the other boys were out gathering firewood and hunting small animals. I always thought I was a girl on the inside and when I lived at the orphanage I started living as a girl on the outside, wearing dresses and growing my hair out. Guess I'm just a freak like that."
Eren snorted at that. "You're not a freak, Andy. At least, not for wanting to be a girl. The titan thing, I'm not completely sold on yet."
Both girls laughed at that before Andy calmed down enough to say goodnight, leaving Gwen and Eren alone. The boy was about to call it a night when Gwen stopped him with a hesitant hand on his sleeve.
"Something wrong, Gwen?" he asked, brows furrowed in concern.
She looked about to say something but then stopped, shook her head, and tried again. "Just…thanks. For what you said back there. Most people aren't too tolerant when it comes to Andy; even some of the other subjects aren't fully comfortable with her yet."
"Yeah, it's no problem. I actually have a friend who used to get picked on a lot, not for anything like what Andy's going through, but he was bullied for being a bit different," Eren explained, remembering a number of times he'd had to pick Armin up from the side of an alleyway.
Gwen smiled and nodded, before she abruptly stood and head to her room, hiding her face. "Um, well, goodnight."
"Night," Eren replied, oblivious to her odd behavior. He simply chalked it up to exhaustion. It was pretty late after all.
In his room, Eren stared up at the ceiling, worrying over the next day's experiments and greatly missing his friends and sister. He never really stopped thinking about them, but sometimes he could distract himself enough to make his chest hurt a bit less. Then there were times like these, where all he could do was think and if he wasn't so stubborn, he might have started bawling like a child.
The brunette tried to think of something else and his tired mind instantly latched on to the next day. He winced at all the possibilities and immediately didn't want to go down that train of thought. The only thing he had to look forward to tomorrow was the small chance that he might hear his mother again…
It was a stupid hope, but it was his only one at the moment, and he would hold onto it as long as he could.