Hermione marched to the store in such a bad mood that she was certain electricity cackled around her. She filled up her trolley with all the things a woman would need after the unnerving experience of being seduced by Draco bloody Malfoy, in broad daylight no less, plus the general feeling of heartache: chocolate, cheese, a half dozen bottles of various spirits and season two of Battlestar Galactica.

"Mmm," the cashier giggled. "Looks like it's going to be a fun party."

Hermione could only manage a grimace in response, but the woman couldn't take the hint. "Getting the girls together for the weekend, eh? Get a bit tipsy? I'm quite jealous, actually. Haven't had a night—"

"Here." Hermione threw the money at her, then charmed her bags with wandless weightlessness as she threw them over her shoulders and stomped out.

At soon she set foot in her flat, she closed the floo. She left the option open that anyone could call from the flames in the event of an emergency, but she didn't want anyone else to physically occupy her place except Crookshanks.

She poured herself a glass of Nefarious Unicorn Rum Cream and tore open the chocolate. "Looks like it's just me and you, Apollo," she said as she popped in the first DVD of the set. Crookshanks gave her a glare from the bookcase. "Oh, you, too, sweetie." The cat continued its glare for a few seconds, then disappeared into her bedroom, tail in the air. "Good grief," Hermione muttered.

Harry's head was the first to pop up on the floo. "Hermione. Are you there?"

She paused on a still of the character of Apollo (to be honest, she'd been rewinding and rewatching a lot of his scenes) and peeked over her the back of her sofa at the face in the fireplace. "Harry, I'm a bit busy at the moment. Is something the matter?"

"No, uh. I heard about the proposal and gods, Hermione, I'm so sorry. I just can't believe—"

"Harry," Hermione interrupted. "I mean, I truly appreciate it. And you know I love you. But I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Harry looked up. "You're watching a movie?"

"Yes. A series, actually. Brilliant. Brilliant development of characters, even of the artificial intelligence sort."

"You're sort of slurring your words, Hermione."

"Yes, Harry? What of it?

"Do you think you could let me through? Ginny and I, we're a bit worried."

Hermione laughed. "Don't worry, Harry, please. I just want to be alone for a while. Well, me and my very handsome guest, Lee Adama." She cackled, trying to make it seem like everything was jolly, but stopped when Harry scrunched up his face and she realized she sounded a bit manic.

"Uh. Alright. But if you need to talk, anytime at all—"

"Thanks, Harry."

She waited until she heard the rush of the floo closing, then let out a sigh so big and long, her eyes welled up. And all of a sudden, her heart felt like it'd just shattered, and she wept over the caramel-drizzled brie wheel in her lap.

At that moment, Ginny's head popped up. "Hermione Jean Granger, if you don't open this floo right now, I will personally see to it that the entire Auror force breaks open your front door."

Hermione sank into the couch, hoping Ginny would think she'd left.

"I know you're there, Hermione. I can see the top of your hair."

Hermione sighed, pushed her brie to the side and stood. "Whatever you two are worrying about, it's completely unnecessary. There's nothing—" she interrupted herself with a sob. "There's so many worse things in the world. It's not like there was a natural disaster or a terrorist attack." Her nose was stuffy and runny at the same time.

She reached the floo and turned it on. Ginny ran out of it and wrapped her arms around Hermione, who continued to wail. "There isn't a war. It's not like Death Eaters are out to get us anymore. I don't know why I'm so upset."

Ginny looked at her and said, "It's because the people you work with are utterly, utterly worthless pieces of hippogriff dung. Who voted on your censorship? I want names."

"There's at least a dozen of them."

"I want every one and I will make their lives a living hell."

"How are you going to do that?" Hermione sniffed. "I'm not sure there's a hex strong enough—"

"You're really questioning the witch who perfected the Bat-Bogey?"

Hermione laughed, which somehow sent her into a fit of sobs. Ginny ushered her to the sofa and continued to hold her. "Hermione, have you considered leaving your job? I mean, I know you're brilliant at it, but it just sounds so unrewarding, with all those buffoons—"

"It's not just that, Ginny," Hermione said. "I found out Charlie has a girlfriend in Romania."

"HE WHAT?!" If Ginny was angry before, now smoke nearly puffed out of her ears. "I am going to murder him. I swear it, Hermione."

"I feel so stupid, Gin. Honestly. I shouldn't be mad about it at all—"

"'Shouldn't be mad,' my arse! Who is this slag?"

"Ginny! I'm the slag! I'm the one he's been kissing and, and licking, behind her back and—"

"Not if you didn't know! How on earth did you find out, anyway?"

Hermione grabbed her purse and handed Ginny the letter from Molly. Ginny leaned back and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so this is what Mum was talking about."

"What?"

"Well, that's how we found out about the proposal. Mum got your letter and she said you sounded very out of sorts. She told me she thought her meddling had finally gone too far, which I made her repeat about seven times. Can you imagine, Mum actually admitting that? I thought Merlin would return from the grave first. Anyway, she wanted to come see you herself, but I told her that probably wasn't the best idea."

"What does all that that mean? I'm so confused, Ginny."

"I think Mum knows about you and Charlie. Maybe he told her about some bird to get her off the trail. Which, from the looks of it, sent Mum into an absolute tizzy."

"You think he made it up?"

"Well, I'm not going to say it for certain, but I think it's highly plausible. Cheating on a girl with you? That's not Charlie. If it were true, I'd take him to a mind healer for a diagnosis before performing a Bat-Bogey over his arse."

Hermione had a slew of questions, but the image of bats flying out of Charlie's bottom startled her. She burst into a crazy fit of laughter, which lasted so long her stomach ached. Ginny chuckled along with her, then looked around. "Is this what's for dinner? Cheese and a bottle of Nefarious Unicorn?"

"Well, there's a great deal of chocolate in the kitchen, too."

"That's it." Ginny stood. "I'm making you some real food."

"Don't you dare, Ginevra! You have your own family—"

"Harry's taken the boys out for pizza. I need to eat, too."

"Ginny, let's just order something—"

"Hermione Granger!" Hermione shrank back slightly as Ginny inhaled, hands on hips, hair nearly on fire. "Do you remember when Harry and I had that big blow out before Albus was born and you came over and took the James for the whole weekend so we could sort it out? And just a few months ago, when James fell off his training broom and you let Albus just absolutely wreck your office because Harry was on patrol? And how about when the anniversary of Fred's death comes 'round every year and you go well out of your way to bring Mum and Dad some wonderful gift every day for the whole week just to give them something happy to look forward too?" Ginny inhaled. "So let someone FUCKING TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONCE!"

Hermione closed her eyes and waved at the kitchen. "Point taken. Have at it."

Hermione turned Battlestar back on as Ginny cooked, who once in while came 'round to ask questions on the plot. "Ooh, who is he?" she asked when Apollo made an appearance.

"That is Lee Adama, and he's a man. A human man, which is an important distinction in this show. And, he's, well, sort of fucked up when it comes to relationships."

"Oh, aren't we all, though. You know, he kind of reminds me of Charlie."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "I guess, if you just look at his muscles…"

"When he's being playful with that blonde, Star Luck—"

"Starbuck. Ugh, you're right. Now I can't watch this, Gin. Thanks." Hermione cut the show off.

Ginny rolled her eyes and sat down. "Are you coming to Angelina's and G—"

"No. No way."

"Hermione—"

"So everyone can give me looks of pity regarding my proposal? So I can have an enormously awkward encounter with Charlie? And, oh god— you should've seen what I wrote your mother today. There's no way I'm ready to look her in the eye."

Ginny cracked a half smile. "Does this have anything to do with Brock Missouri?"

"Oh, god, she told you?"

"She mentioned you were seeing an American football player! Which I knew was a lie, soon as I heard that absurd excuse for a name."

Hermione put her hands on her head. "Good Godric. I wrote that I was shagging a bloke named Brock Missouri. What on earth is wrong with me?"

"Wow, I didn't know you told her you were shagging him. No wonder she was concerned."

Hermione reached for some parchment. "I need to explain myself."

Ginny snatched the page from her hands. "No. I will explain it to Mum. Later. I want her to stew a bit first. Let her feel the ramifications of all that stupid meddling."

"Gin, I don't know, that seems a little—"

"You need to talk to him. To Charlie, I mean. Just come to the party! Rip off the bandage."

"Trust me, tomorrow is not the day for that. I'm a wreck. Tell your parents I'm ill."

Ginny sighed. "Okay. But you know Mum's going to force one of us to bring you about eight plates of consumables."

Hermione sighed. "Well, that's fine. But only you or Harry. No one else. You hear me, Gin? No Dragon Keepers allowed."

"Point taken." Ginny smiled. "Come on. Let's eat and plan the demise if your co-workers."

They ate and made their way through two of Hermione's liquor purchases. Hermione laughed until she cried as Ginny went on about all the places she could conjure bats from regarding her colleagues, and when she went to bed that night, she felt somehow, things would be okay.

XXX

I've been really productive this week, so I'll get to post another chapter in a couple days. Yay! Also, I'm curious, who are you all picturing with Charlie? I have to admit, I've been thinking up a ginger Chris Hemsworth, which, by the way, if you google-image the phrase, you'll get some hilarious (and yummy) results. Next chapter, our favorite Dragon Keeper will make an appearance, and naturally, there will be a good, old-fashioned lemon.